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OfflineTheApprentice
back at it
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Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 4,727
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: berdinwall]
    #19152169 - 11/17/13 10:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ya.

I just hate being thrown away.

txt message breakups
awesome.

I JUST WANT TO GET FUCKED UP!


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RR Videos -Best $9 Ever Spent *
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Pink Oysters on Newspaper TEK

"Yeah?  Well, DRACULA called... and he said he's coming over tonight, and I said OK!" :mastershake:


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InvisibleKillerPicklez
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 16,920
Loc: Flag
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: TheApprentice]
    #19152250 - 11/17/13 10:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You arent clean until you are off of suboxone. Using suboxone isnt any different than using dope. You are still getting a fix

But congrats on the start of rehabilitation. It's a very very tough road and I can speak from experience

Best thing I can recommend is finding a hobby that you find rewarding and maybe picking up a job if you dont already have one. Having something to fill your time will really help

NA meetings help a lot too for the initial quitting stage and recovery. You will find plenty of people willing to help you out in your recovery

Good Luck


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Invisibleschwarg
Male


Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 2,817
Loc: San Diego Flag
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: KillerPicklez]
    #19152328 - 11/17/13 11:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Got broken up with about 6 months ago ending a near 4 year relationship. I was feeling fine the first month or two afterward but then I just nose dived. Past two months been a lot better. I've just been thinking about how I managed to keep on while I was for the most part single until age 20. But sure, it will always hurt.

Do things where you can meet people, go places you've always wanted to go. That's only real way to deal with loneliness, not sitting in your room by yourself. Don't turn people down for hanging out just because you feel shitty about what happened. As far as dealing with addiction, can't help you on that front, only drugs I'm hooked on are caffeine and nicotine...

I'll send good vibes your way.


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OfflineEnemaOfState
Chief
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Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 1,210
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: schwarg]
    #19152394 - 11/17/13 11:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yo keep on it with the recovery man. You get yourself clean, and you can get your life back.
Lots of love man, peace.


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A Pretty Big Grizmatik Undergroundzies Conspiracy

Too weird to live.
Too rare to die.



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OfflineTheApprentice
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Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 4,727
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: EnemaOfState]
    #19152558 - 11/18/13 12:19 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

2 weeks ago i started the 8mg suboxone doses.

last week cut myself down to 4mg doses.

the past 2 days I've been cutting the strips into 3 sections.

planning on not taking one tomorrow.

I think I'm done with the withdraws.

I have a job.  I work full time,

and I'm trying my hand at my mushrooms again.

it just sucks tonite.

smoked some weed.  Feels better.

thanks u everyone for talking.

sometimes you just need to know
someone is out there.


--------------------


RR Videos -Best $9 Ever Spent *
No Pour AGAR Tek Easy COIR Trays! *
Pink Oysters on Newspaper TEK

"Yeah?  Well, DRACULA called... and he said he's coming over tonight, and I said OK!" :mastershake:


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InvisibleSanpedrox
North of the wall


Registered: 08/25/13
Posts: 198
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: TheApprentice]
    #19152763 - 11/18/13 02:49 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Using got you into this situation, do you really think using again is going to make it any better? Yeah you are going to feel good for a while but what will the repercussions be...

Stay off the horse, get your life sorted then prove to your girl who you've broken trust with that you are trustworthy once again.

Hope all goes well brother.


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OfflineTurtletotem
Dutch Delight
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Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: Sanpedrox]
    #19152776 - 11/18/13 03:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Good luck my friend, what you are going through now will help you become stronger then you have ever been.
You have been through a lot, but you have come far, climbing out of your pit. Don't give up!

Also, I bet your shrooms will start growing again real soon, now you're off the heroin. But maybe wait until you feel a bit more stable, or use them with a close friend.
Good vibes for you my friend! :mushroom2:


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InvisibleV1rusH0st
¸.♥´´¯`•.¸¸.ღƸ̵Ӝ̵Ʒ
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Registered: 07/02/13
Posts: 900
Loc: Hyperspace
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: Turtletotem]
    #19152804 - 11/18/13 03:29 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

One day at a time. It took me well over a year of getting clean off of heroin to really feel like things were going to be "ok" and even longer to start to come to terms with all that I had lost, the people in my life, the opportunities I blew, the time that had gone by. But things will get better. I never did believe that until they did. Felt like I could never come to terms with what I did, feel alive again, find happiness. But just try if you can to believe that if you keep staying clean just for today that the days will turn into weeks, into months, and so forth. And then you will start to find that life is enjoyable again. And if you need support, don't feel afraid to ask for it. I am not a fan of NA or AA, the doctrine or alot of times the people, but I needed it so badly in the beginning I was going twice a day. It helped.

Sorry if it sounds preachy but what you said just strikes me deeply since I know where you are coming from.

Hang in there. Using might numb out the pain, but it will just reset the clock on what you are going through now and the time until you can move past it and feel normal again.

edit: Oh, and also...KRATOM. It was pretty much what got me through the suboxone withdrawals which were not nearly as agonizing as heroin, but still pretty bad. They had me on 24mg a day (3 8mg strips). Weaned myself down to 2mg a day but even the withdrawals from that were pretty brutal. Kratom made the withdrawals almost non existant. And then weening down off kratom wasnt that hard and I went through like 1 day of withdrawal. Long process, but much less pain than cold turkey.


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"They are trained to believe, not to know. Belief can be manipulated. Only knowledge is dangerous." Frank Herbert


Edited by V1rusH0st (11/18/13 03:32 AM)


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InvisibleKillerPicklez
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Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 16,920
Loc: Flag
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: TheApprentice]
    #19153830 - 11/18/13 12:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

TheApprentice said:
2 weeks ago i started the 8mg suboxone doses.

last week cut myself down to 4mg doses.

the past 2 days I've been cutting the strips into 3 sections.

planning on not taking one tomorrow.

I think I'm done with the withdraws.

I have a job.  I work full time,

and I'm trying my hand at my mushrooms again.

it just sucks tonite.

smoked some weed.  Feels better.

thanks u everyone for talking.

sometimes you just need to know
someone is out there.




Nice get off the suboxone and get your life in control


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OfflineShortknight
Male


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: KillerPicklez]
    #19154835 - 11/18/13 03:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You got this one Apprentice.:yinyang:
:rockon:

Shorty:peace:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:


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OfflineTheApprentice
back at it
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Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 4,727
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: 12 days clean. looking at the fire... [Re: Shortknight]
    #19154970 - 11/18/13 03:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Today I feel better.

had 2 job interviews.

no suboxone today.  No noticeable withdraws.

I look healthier for sure.
noticed that today. 

thanks for everyone's support..
I emailed her an apology letter.
told the truth about everything
without being dramatic.

very simple and straight forward.

most likely too little too late,
but at least the words are out of my head
and not haunting me.

hopefully my spore print came today.
gonna dive into that tonite.

love u guys.

I'm worried about new years eve
cuz that was our special night

gotta do something more awesome than her
to make a new memory


--------------------


RR Videos -Best $9 Ever Spent *
No Pour AGAR Tek Easy COIR Trays! *
Pink Oysters on Newspaper TEK

"Yeah?  Well, DRACULA called... and he said he's coming over tonight, and I said OK!" :mastershake:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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