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alleneye
Stranger
Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 7
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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help/advice
#19147730 - 11/16/13 10:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey guys, I have posted here a few times, but haven’t posted in serious depth until now. I took mushrooms last April and fear I might have uncovered schizophrenia or some sort of other disorder.
I took about 3 grams of mushrooms with 2 grams of Syrian rue with a few buddies out in a pasture. I had been struggling with intrusive thoughts before taking the mushrooms and figured I would forget about them once the fun began. However, I never really got into the right mindset for the trip and instead experienced EXTREME anxiety throughout the trip. The anxiety involved the intrusive thoughts I was looking to suppress. The entire trip was not that jarring, however I never could really get into the rhythm of the shrooms. I had previously been trying to use low doses as I had experienced a schizophrenic episode (paranoia) about 2 years previous to the actual trip. Prior to the mushroom trip however, I was experiencing no problems other than some minor guilt about intrusive thoughts. I have had past problems with OCD in the past and believe this might be the same part of my brain overcompensating. During the trip, I could not keep focus for fear of an intruding thoughts tumbling into my thoughts in “waves.”
Every time I tried to think of something else, the thought weighed heavily on my mind. After the experience was over, my friends and I went back to my buddy’s house and I began to calm down a bit, but still felt general anxiety throughout the night. I went throughout my life for the next couple of weeks, but was not the same at all.2 weeks later, I tried to smoke some weed to calm down a little bit, but the duality of my thoughts remained, no matter what I thought about, the intrusive thoughts weighed on my brain. It seems as if my new status quo in the world was thinking/becoming anxious about the thoughts, rather than perceiving the world around me.. Listening to music brings about anxiety/lack of focus, watching tv brings about anxiety/ lack of focus. My life has turned into a literal hell, as there is no time of the day where I can actually relax . I have no idea what to do, I am currently taking lithium and Prozac every day and seroquel before bed.
I just don’t have the same will to live like I used to. I am not saying I am suicidal, but every day when I wake up it’s the same old gig, just a war inside my head. There is no curiosity for life or love for life. I am now here looking for help, have I ruined my life. And also, I am currently considering electroconvulsive therapy. Has anyone reported good results from using to electroconvulsive therapy to shock yourself out of shroom damage?
Thanks.
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Sagescruffy
CH



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 2,011
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 7 months, 5 days
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Re: help/advice [Re: alleneye]
#19147797 - 11/16/13 11:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I remember reading an article where people were told that something hot would be put on their hands but instead an ice cube was placed in their hand but they developed blisters.
here's a random thread about the experiment: http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=34324
It's probably not true, but what if it is?? I think before people start diagnosing themselves with things like schizophrenia, they should consider every other possibility. If you really feel the need to get medical attention then you probably know what's best for yourself. Just trying to throw some stuff out there man
-------------------- Love.  
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LiquidGlass
Glass Blower


Registered: 07/08/12
Posts: 5,288
Loc: Pee En Double You
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What are the intrusive thought that were troubling you in the first place? That is likely the root of the problem
-------------------- Some art I've made Glass Art Gallery
  I was raised a christian and was a stone-faced acid head - Ken Kesey
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Eclipse3130
Servant of the Fungi


Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 6,236
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 28 minutes, 29 seconds
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You needed to not hide from what the mushrooms were bringing out. They are going to be really self critical until you fix what they don't like. All these problems you're having is because you are trying to hide from what is really you, which just makes things worse.
One trip I kept getting brought up about myself I tried to ignore it, it always kept coming back, I didn 't feel good about my well being until the day after when I really took a look at what I was experiencing and what I needed to change. Everything got better and fast.
Reflection periods after trips are the best part! Just try thinking back why is it doing it, face it head on.
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
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Johnny Depp

Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 2,201
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Re: help/advice [Re: alleneye]
#19148040 - 11/17/13 12:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Edited by Johnny Depp (12/19/14 05:38 PM)
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alleneye
Stranger
Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 7
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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I appreciate the help. I was diagnosed OCD early off in life. I have been diagnosed bipolar after a schizophrenic episode. I probably should not have been using that dose of shrooms/rue, but I had previously good experiences with lower doses. I have conquered my "fear" of the intrusive thought but have been having problems with the anxiety disorder and the nagging feeling of the next thought.
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Johnny Depp

Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 2,201
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Re: help/advice [Re: alleneye]
#19149370 - 11/17/13 11:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Edited by Johnny Depp (12/19/14 05:39 PM)
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