Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Anonymous #1

when you are no longer a priority
    #19134442 - 11/14/13 01:57 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

what do you do when your loved one no longer seems to make you a priority ? it started with little things. like no longer calling to say i love you and good night before bed when before we never missed a nite. saying they will call back and they never do. to not calling at all unless they are bored at work and have some free time and thats only after they have called everyone else. i rarely see them and when i do, takes like 3 pictures of us together, but 20 pics of dinner and drinks when out with friends. some times i feel like doing it back but im weak and stupid and i always have to answer the phone when they call. i just dont want to feel like second best. and i dont want them to think i am always here on the back burner to run and answer the phone when they get bored and finally decide to call


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekneesocks
Divineress
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 870
Loc: Puget Sound/PNW Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19134501 - 11/14/13 02:13 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Talk about it with your loved one. If you're both mature adults then you can approach your partner directly to discuss problems and work them out. First question that you should ask yourself: Is my lover aware of these things that I have issues with? If not, problems are rarely so serious that you can't approach your own lover about it. The moment this happens is the moment the relationship comes unwound. If you really don't know what to do, you could maybe bounce it off of your mutual friends, hear what their opinions are. Alternatively you could ask people like us. After these you should figure out your next step based upon this information.

Avoid playing little games, like Being Indirect and Pretending That Your Lover Can Read Your Mind (while getting increasingly upset and eventually exploding when you find out that they can't).


--------------------
"An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt;
A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next."
-Bhagavad-gita 4:40


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: kneesocks]
    #19139135 - 11/14/13 11:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Why are you using "they" and "them" as oppose to "him" or "her"?  Are you having relationships with multiple people?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: kneesocks]
    #19140562 - 11/15/13 11:20 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

kneesocks said:
Avoid playing little games, like Being Indirect and Pretending That Your Lover Can Read Your Mind (while getting increasingly upset and eventually exploding when you find out that they can't).




:thumbup:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBallerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: Sleepwalker]
    #19140988 - 11/15/13 01:31 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sleepwalker said:
Quote:

kneesocks said:
Avoid playing little games, like Being Indirect and Pretending That Your Lover Can Read Your Mind (while getting increasingly upset and eventually exploding when you find out that they can't).




:thumbup:




Yes, definitely talk to him/her if you have not already and hopefully that will be enough. If not, I don't really know what to tell you. I've been with someone who is like that and I'm beginning to think that some people are just incapable of showing love and appreciation after they start to take you for granted. We even broke up for a short amount of time and he begged me to take him back and told me he would change. Some things have changed, but overall he is still the same person. I've just given up on even trying to text him or plan anything with him because I am sick and tired of feeling like I'm not worthy enough to be asked. I don't think some people realize just how shitty it feels to always be the person making the plans and never have that thoughtfulness be reciprocated. But keep in mind that that is just my experience and that I have only been with one person, so I'm probably not the best person to ask but figured I'd throw my 2 cents in anyway.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: Ballerium]
    #19141044 - 11/15/13 01:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Ballerium said:
Quote:

Sleepwalker said:
Quote:

kneesocks said:
Avoid playing little games, like Being Indirect and Pretending That Your Lover Can Read Your Mind (while getting increasingly upset and eventually exploding when you find out that they can't).




:thumbup:




Yes, definitely talk to him/her if you have not already and hopefully that will be enough. If not, I don't really know what to tell you. I've been with someone who is like that and I'm beginning to think that some people are just incapable of showing love and appreciation after they start to take you for granted. We even broke up for a short amount of time and he begged me to take him back and told me he would change. Some things have changed, but overall he is still the same person. I've just given up on even trying to text him or plan anything with him because I am sick and tired of feeling like I'm not worthy enough to be asked. I don't think some people realize just how shitty it feels to always be the person making the plans and never have that thoughtfulness be reciprocated. But keep in mind that that is just my experience and that I have only been with one person, so I'm probably not the best person to ask but figured I'd throw my 2 cents in anyway.



you hit the nail on the head. It fucking sucks to feel like your the only one who ever puts effort into the relationship.


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: psyconaught]
    #19141159 - 11/15/13 02:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:feelsbadman:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: psyconaught]
    #19141204 - 11/15/13 02:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:

you hit the nail on the head. It fucking sucks to feel like your the only one who ever puts effort into the relationship.





I am of a mindset that if only ONE person is putting in effort, it's not a RELATIONSHIP, it's a parasitic environment.  Relationships imply two active parties.  Just my opinion, my definitions, my experiences.







Tell 'em how you feel.  No change?  byebye


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: memes]
    #19141254 - 11/15/13 03:08 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

memes said:
Quote:

psyconaught said:

you hit the nail on the head. It fucking sucks to feel like your the only one who ever puts effort into the relationship.





I am of a mindset that if only ONE person is putting in effort, it's not a RELATIONSHIP, it's a parasitic environment.  Relationships imply two active parties.  Just my opinion, my definitions, my experiences.







Tell 'em how you feel.  No change?  byebye



agreed. Me and my girl are on hiatus at the moment so she can deal with her depression. But if she wants to get back together with theres a lot of shit that needs to be dealt with.


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr. Bojangles
Breathe In
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 1,937
Loc: The Dirty
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: psyconaught]
    #19142260 - 11/15/13 07:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Spice it up. 

Relationships tend to get into a routine, you get used to someone...like a boredom that doesn't really feel like boredom but in actuality, you're bored.  Although I don't really think you're gonna get all those "I love you" texts every night.  Switch up something in the relationship, it may not necessarily be that you're lovers emotions have changed.


--------------------
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."

Francois-Marie Arouet


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: memes]
    #19142878 - 11/15/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

memes said:
Quote:

psyconaught said:

you hit the nail on the head. It fucking sucks to feel like your the only one who ever puts effort into the relationship.





I am of a mindset that if only ONE person is putting in effort, it's not a RELATIONSHIP, it's a parasitic environment.  Relationships imply two active parties.  Just my opinion, my definitions, my experiences.







Tell 'em how you feel.  No change?  byebye



:wellhellothere:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCounterCulturest
-Positive Mental Attitude-

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #19143171 - 11/15/13 10:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yep. I would put money on this, saying that your time with this girl is limited. Like days. Weeks. Unless you find a way to fix it. Reciprocating in the same rude way that she is acting probably isn't going to work either.

"takes like 3 pictures of us together, but 20 pics of dinner and drinks when out with friends."

You should rethink dating anyone who takes 20 pictures of their food LOL. Or else you are going to spend a lot of time sitting there twirling your thumbs while they take pictures of things that nobody gives 2 s**t's about.  I guess if the girl is hot enough she could find some guys to appreciate pictures of her mochas. I just don't get it. I wish I did because y'all involved in those games sure seem to enjoy it.  God damn. my cute roommate pulls that shit and it's just a big joke. So stupid. We will be walking and she stops constantly to take a picture of her feet. I have seen her photograph the most retarded things so she can post it to this tinder b.s. that she into. A big picture reel of yours so other people can view all the retarded pictures you took.

We will be out eating dinner and she just sits there and takes pictures of the menus of this soup sandwich shop. Then a picture of the food. Then of the silverware. She literally is always late deciding what she wants because she is busy taking pictures of the menu. Smart phones are amazing tools and I suppose they could be pretty fun but when people use them for shit like this It's a total facepalm to me. I took a chunk of xanax. Sorry for the rant.

OP, talk to her about it. If she has lost interest in you then don't take it to hard and move on. Don't act like she is though. If she is in fact in love with you, then acting her could kinda wake her up and she would see how she is acting but likely she is just going to admit that she isn't that into you anymore. Whatever happens, good luck, I hope it works out for you.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: when you are no longer a priority [Re: CounterCulturest]
    #19143231 - 11/15/13 10:38 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:hug:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1


Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
191 topic views. 1 members, 1 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.021 seconds spending 0.003 seconds on 13 queries.