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Offlinecbhead23
Frisbee
Male


Registered: 09/16/09
Posts: 539
Loc: GA
Last seen: 9 years, 19 days
A Rant and Request for Advice
    #19142499 - 11/15/13 08:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

So it's Friday and I'm just kickin it at my house.  Smoking some herb, playing some music.  I've become more and more comfortable with being alone and doing my own thing.

I have a steady, low stress-decent paying job that allows me to rent out a nice houseplace stacked with musical instruments as I enjoy making noise.

I keep in decent shape by running a couple miles a day.  I routinely go out by myself to see live music and dance around on drugs.  Feelsgoodman.

Lately I have been overcome with this feeling that can't quite be described as loneliness or discontent; but almost a mix of the two.

The last 2 music festivals I have been to I have gone by myself; the last 10ish shows I've been to I've been by myself.  I'm fairly personable, considered a likeable guy at work; people tell me at shows I have 'good energy' since I enjoy seeing people having a good time and I have no problem about boogieing down!  I smile a lot, take things lightly and am pretty easy going. 

I just don't really have any friends.  No one to share these fun experiences with; reminisce on zany moments with; laugh and fuck around with, even jam with.

Last show I went to was a blast!  Kalya Scintalla, Bird of Prey, some really great music!  Once the dancing was over and everyone regroups with their friends I'm left feeling empty as fuck.  Sure I just had an amazing time grooving to some awesome tunes and the atmosphere and energy were amazing, sure I'm proud I made it out again by myself, but going back home to pet the cats isn't exactly my preferred way to unwind after an evening of psychedelic music. 

I want companionship and/or friendships; I'm just too fucking self-conscious and introverted and uncomfortable and the exact opposite of an easy going, confident indvidual; which I think I possibly front pretty well.

Anyone have any advice?  I'm 23, steady job, nice house, fun hobbies, interest in life, I'm just doing it by myself.  I want friends and companionship.....I don't know what is holding me back...

All advice is welcomed with open arms!!:heart:


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InvisibleMr. Bojangles
Breathe In
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 1,937
Loc: The Dirty
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: cbhead23]
    #19142847 - 11/15/13 09:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah, you should come hang out with us.  My friends played that show and we're all friendly...ATL crew is always friendly :smile:  Just find like minded people and that's that.


--------------------
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."

Francois-Marie Arouet


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Invisiblecez
 User Gallery
Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: cbhead23]
    #19143774 - 11/16/13 01:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You sound eerily similar to me..
I have no advice really :shrug:

I too am always doing things alone and wish I had someone to experience this awesomeness with...But right now its just not meant to be that way.

Don't think about it too much.  Keep doing you and the rest will fall in place :thumbup:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
 User Gallery


Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: cbhead23]
    #19144095 - 11/16/13 03:29 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Start a band.


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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Anonymous #1

Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #19144470 - 11/16/13 07:53 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

give some time to a volunteer group of your choice.


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Offlinecircastes
Big Questions Small Head
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19144491 - 11/16/13 08:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm with you and cez, except, I have an excuse; the last 7 years I have been schizophrenic. It's only an excuse, I think it may have been pretty similar without the illness - the attraction or tendency to solitude, that is.

Coming out of my illness, I have sometimes felt like you, sometimes felt completely whole. Right now I feel whole.

I guess have a look at what you mean by lonely? What are your standards there? There are lots of lonely people, and they don't even have interests, they have addictions and are mostly unpleasant. Do you have family? I have family. I interact with them infrequently but frequently with my schizophrenic brother. I don't have any friends except a group of fellows who I like and respect but we're in a completely different demographic, and I'm out of place when I go there, 'there' being a city 200km away.

As long as you're getting that basic connection, that you're part of something even if it's insignificant, you don't need 1000 friends on facebook and a party-hard-every-weekend-with-10-mates outgoingness.

From there it's quite possible and rational to build a life based simply on yourself. I am doing it.

You're probably a bit of a victim of what society expects. Love can come from within too.

But if you don't even have family or some basic connection somewhere, maybe bring that anxiety and introversion to the forefront of your attention and make it clear to yourself that you're going to change/fix it. Then just get a few friends when you're done, whatever you're comfortable with, just so you have that basic connection going.

Just think, you are seeking that basic connection here otherwise, and you're getting it. It's necessary. Don't be 100% alone, just 80-90%.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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Offlinekneesocks
Divineress
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 870
Loc: Puget Sound/PNW Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: circastes]
    #19144501 - 11/16/13 08:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Host a few afterparties and invite cool people you meet to them


--------------------
"An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt;
A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next."
-Bhagavad-gita 4:40


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OfflineTheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: kneesocks]
    #19144764 - 11/16/13 10:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'd hang out with you. Find musicians. Musicians like musicians. I can't explain why, but we just know when we've found each other. It's like a gut feeling. Even people that don't play music, but are very musical give me much the same feeling that I get when I meet a musician. There is a certain, silent, yet profound understanding that you will come to feel. Just ride that feeling, and you will find the people.


--------------------
-Lifesigns

"Why don't you reactivate her?"

"Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?"

"Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."


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OfflineTheHerbalColorado
Center of the donut.
Male

Registered: 10/21/13
Posts: 108
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 months, 21 days
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: TheEternalOpenEye]
    #19144911 - 11/16/13 11:24 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I sometimes have a tough time approaching people. Just remember a lot of really good interesting questions that you think of when you're alone. make sure you really wanna know the answer, and fire away on people who look like they might have some cool answers.


--------------------
If you get to old to cut the mustard, lick the jar.


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Offlinecircastes
Big Questions Small Head
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: A Rant and Request for Advice [Re: TheHerbalColorado]
    #19151112 - 11/17/13 06:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Can I just commend you on being able to go to shows alone? I would have the biggest anxiety, and I think a lot of people would.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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