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Offlinekidcharlemagne
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Registered: 11/14/13
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Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary.
    #19135151 - 11/14/13 08:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Very long time lurker.  First time poster.  This is a bit of a heavy post so I apologize up front. 

I'm 45 and have been suicidal since my mid 20's.  I've been in psychotherapy for years, seen many top shelf doctors and have been on a melange of different med cocktails. At this point I'm only on Lamictal.  I always promised myself before I shuffled off my own mortal coil I'd make one last, admittedly desperate, play.  I've explored smoking DMT (though never been able to break through).  Last week I took two hits of what I'm guessing was a 25x (I can't get pure LSD).  It was interesting but certainly didn't learn anything from it.  What I'm asking here is:  What dose and what drug should I use as my last ditch effort?  I've been looking into "underground" psychedelic therapy but I just don't have the time or money at this point.  This is truly a hail mary.  I'm perfectly willing for this to be an utterly horrifying trip so there's no need to point out that my set isn't optimal here.  My experience with psychedelics, besides those two hits of 25x and smoking DMT, are MDMA (though it's all been methylone in NYC for ages) and low dose mushrooms (maybe a gram).  Thanks for your help all.  Not trolling for sympathy here - just some help on a drug and a dose.  Be well..


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OfflinePsychedelicking
The King
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Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 133
Loc: BC, Canada
Last seen: 9 years, 23 days
Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: kidcharlemagne]
    #19135160 - 11/14/13 08:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

what method were you using for smoking dmt?
because that would likely be your best bet of a earth shattering experience. ACTUALLY! you should do Ayahuasca. (DMT+MAOI) you can order the ingredients online separately and make it yourself. i think that is what your looking for.


--------------------
"I know not which weapons will be used in World War 3, But World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.


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Invisibledutchfunkle
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: Psychedelicking]
    #19135194 - 11/14/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'd say Ibogaine, get as much root bark as you can afford and swallow as much as your body can handle. Although sources are limited, familiarize yourself with the plant Tabernanthe Iboga and if all else fails, go to the Gabonese Republic in Africa,where this plant is indigenous.


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Offlinekidcharlemagne
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: Psychedelicking]
    #19135214 - 11/14/13 08:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Psychedelicking said:
what method were you using for smoking dmt?
because that would likely be your best bet of a earth shattering experience. ACTUALLY! you should do Ayahuasca. (DMT+MAOI) you can order the ingredients online separately and make it yourself. i think that is what your looking for.




I made the machine.  I think the problem is that a feeling of nauseau is stopping me from breaking through.  I've tried eating raw ginger and I've done huge doses.  My last dose was very similar to a k-hole (oh i forgot to mention i have a lot of experience with ketamine) but I still didn't breakthrough.  I had no concept that I was a human being and no concept of what anything in my room was.  This time I kept my eyes open for some reason (I almost always close them).  What research I've done seems to indicate that it's hard to integrate meaningful change from smoked DMT experiences.  I was considering doing pharmahuasca but apparently that is very hit or miss.

As far as ordering ayahausca online.  I have spent SOOOOO much time trying to vet reliable sources for all kinds of things that I just don't have it in me any more.  I was going to try a silk road type site but coinbase just canceled my transaction after a 30% rise in bitcoin over the last week.  What dirtbags.  Honestly I'm giving myself two weeks and don't have time to go through all this shit anymore.


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OfflinePsychedelicking
The King
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Last seen: 9 years, 23 days
Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: kidcharlemagne]
    #19135220 - 11/14/13 08:59 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

There is lots of online (completely legal) vendors of the ingredients of ayahuasca. check the sponsers section of the shroomery. i guarantee that atleast one of them will have it. and it isnt the huge hassel of getting bitcoins. you can ussually buy them with a credit card(probably not the best option) or a money order or maybe even paypal.


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"I know not which weapons will be used in World War 3, But World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: Psychedelicking]
    #19135245 - 11/14/13 09:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Try LSD

4-600ug worked for me

but first I had to heal my soul with 100 trips  in the range of 150-300ug
wouldn't go to that high dose above right away... you have to learn to let go first

be around nature/take a walk in nature each time
listen to progressive psytrance (youtube) (because it turns off all thoughts)

heals the soul

but you must be willing to heal
eat healthy /  fast up to tripping, no other drugs, stop doing what makes you unhappy after you realize it i.e.
and do what you love

peace


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: lessismore]
    #19135250 - 11/14/13 09:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

25i I wouldn't recommend, worst drugs I've tried yet

try shrooms instead if you cannot find LSD... shrooms are just as good if you are careful about set,setting,dose

they can be a bit more random sometimes... but just don't fear them/your fear

buy shrooms
buy electric coffee grinder , $10
make mushroom chocolates with 1g in, in an icecube tray
you can melt chocolate in a cup on the stove...

good trips 99% of the time... removes any taste/nausea

3-4g seems to be the dose I will recommmend, don't go above 4g right away, start with 3g - 3g can be plenty strong sometimes

lay down, relaxing music(psytrance), lots of lights on etc.
take a walk in nature first for grounding/relaxation perhaps / on the way out of the trip

nature each time


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OfflineTombc1
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Registered: 09/06/12
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: lessismore]
    #19135296 - 11/14/13 09:19 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ayahuasca/5g Mushrooms; 25i isn't very revealing at all - it is a novelty.


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OfflineHarryL
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Registered: 11/16/10
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: Tombc1]
    #19135417 - 11/14/13 09:48 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

5 gm good mushrooms, with a sitter
Not exactly sure what you are after.... Insight? Relief? Cure? Hit bottom?

I will say, drugs can only show you things... Thing you don't see without them. Change comes from you. 
Don't expect any drug to fix you if you really don't want to be fixed. So whether it's Aya or smoked DMT or strong LSD/mushroom trip.... You have to be ready and open to the experience... Set and Setting

My advice... Continue with therapy and skip the illicit drugs

I truly hope you find something to help... Sending you good vibes

Peace


--------------------
Mushroom hunting:  One bad mushroom can ruin your day! Know it or throw it.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: HarryL]
    #19135449 - 11/14/13 09:55 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

start low (i.e. dose up to 3.5g mushrooms or 1½ hit lsd), listen carefully

they will tell you what you need to change each time

take a walk in nature each time

death on them shouldn't even be needed if you listen carefully
but it's more like inevitable if you do them enough ;-)

always turn off and hide phone, lock doors etc.
no need for sitter IMO if you are not very fearful, just remember to turn off phone always... very important

my best trips have been without sitter
sitter always made the trips worse if I wanted to learn about myself..


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Offlinekidcharlemagne
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: HarryL]
    #19135514 - 11/14/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

HarryL said:
5 gm good mushrooms, with a sitter
Not exactly sure what you are after.... Insight? Relief? Cure? Hit bottom?

I will say, drugs can only show you things... Thing you don't see without them. Change comes from you. 





Looking for a reason to live.  I suppose that requires insight.  Hitting a bottom with a bad trip and coming out "just happy to be alive" might work too.  I'm curious, why do you recommend mushrooms over LSD? 

Also curious if anyone knows why the researchers into PTSD and end-of-life studies chose psilocybin over other compounds.  Perhaps easier to get approved?


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OfflineTombc1
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: kidcharlemagne]
    #19135585 - 11/14/13 10:31 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Imo Psilocybin is much more introspective; others tend to agree?


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Offlinekidcharlemagne
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: dutchfunkle]
    #19135603 - 11/14/13 10:36 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

dutchfunkle said:
I'd say Ibogaine, get as much root bark as you can afford and swallow as much as your body can handle. Although sources are limited, familiarize yourself with the plant Tabernanthe Iboga and if all else fails, go to the Gabonese Republic in Africa,where this plant is indigenous.




I've always seen that mentioned here and other places but never looked into it.  Besides the price, availability, puking, vomiting, and myriad interaction with other drugs, it looks ideal.  :wink:  No it really does look like a fascinating drug.  But zoinks.  It looks like it runs about $280 for a trip.  Of course, enlightened and broke is a better option than dead and rich.  Still haven't lost my sense of humor.


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OfflineMcShroomin
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Registered: 09/25/13
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: kidcharlemagne]
    #19135633 - 11/14/13 10:47 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

...Eat a half oz of shrooms man. Your world will flip upside down.


--------------------


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Invisibleseres
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Registered: 09/20/13
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: McShroomin]
    #19135680 - 11/14/13 11:02 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If you still have access to ketamine I would recommend a khole sized dose, plus ketamine is a proven anti-depressant so it may benefit you. I always felt refreshed and positive after taking ketamine. If that's unavailable and you can't find any conventional psychedelics (LSD, mushrooms, dmt etc.) I would recommend 4-aco-dmt. It's currently legal and can be ordered from vendors online. 4-aco-dmt is converted into psilocin in the body, and many people say it's very similar to a mushroom trip. Personlly I don't have any experience with it but it looks promising. I'd research it more yourself (dosages, trip reports etc.) if you decide to go with it.


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Offlinethedream
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: seres]
    #19135712 - 11/14/13 11:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Care to elaborate on your suicidal thoughts and depression.

Whatever you choose and whatever the outcome don't kill yourself

My first impression is get the hell out of NYC

Get yourself an eight of mushrooms go out to a hiking trail away from any hustle and bustle and just observe. Don't attach any meaning or preconceived notions, just eat the mushrooms and observe you surroundings. You will be surprised at what reveals itself unto you.


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OfflineAgentchewy
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: thedream]
    #19135790 - 11/14/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

AYAHUASCA CEREMONY IN PERU. LIFE.


--------------------


If I knew the way, I would take you home.


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Offlinefunkerdslr
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: thedream]
    #19135813 - 11/14/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

OP, make a pilgrimage to obtain 14g of dry cubes. Proceed to soak in lemon juice and knock back. Its very difficult to be the same after that.


--------------------
RIP Alice

<3 Chinacat72 <3


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Offlinenbithell
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: funkerdslr]
    #19135829 - 11/14/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I agree with the 14g.  Never be the same again.


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Offlinenbithell
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Re: Well. It's reached that time. Throwing a psychedelic hail mary. [Re: nbithell]
    #19135831 - 11/14/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I agree.


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