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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon
#19133960 - 11/13/13 11:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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This girl at work, I swear, she is the cutest thing alive. She has a smile that gives me butterflies. I get all studdery and nervous around people that I find insanely attractive, but working near her for a year has made me a little more comfortable (I think, but who knows...) Anyway, I haven't the faintest idea whether she's interested or not, we don't really spend too much time together. In spite of this, everyone in the office has tried to get me to ask her out. Unfortunately, people are douche bags about it sometimes and end up creating a humiliating (for both parties) situation just for their own dumb amusement...
She's 21, Mormon, likes Taylor Swift, Skrillex and Queen (I believe you can tell a lot about someone from how intensely they jam out to Bohemian Rhapsody). I'm 20, have no car, no degree, and no religious affiliation, but I can make her laugh sometimes.
Does anyone have experience as a person of no faith (or even just different faith) attempting to mingle among more conservative people, and how to approach the topic with tact (when it comes up), while remaining truthful and passionate?
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
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do what you want to do just don't beat her up when you still think she's a fanatic 20 years down the line
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Quote:
TheEternalOpenEye said: Unfortunately, people are douche bags about it sometimes and end up creating a humiliating (for both parties) situation just for their own dumb amusement...
Thank them for it. It puts you in a corner with this girl and you can build on the kinship of being mocked by your co-workers. Sounds a bit retarded like this, but it works
Quote:
Does anyone have experience as a person of no faith (or even just different faith) attempting to mingle among more conservative people, and how to approach the topic with tact (when it comes up), while remaining truthful and passionate?
Yeah - be truthful and passionate to yourself and be diplomatic towards others. It's not that hard. Just don't try to convert anyone to atheism like you're afraid to be converted by mormons to their ridiculous beliefs. To each their own, live and let live and just be a good person.
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche


Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon [Re: koraks]
#19135112 - 11/14/13 08:20 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Mormonism is weird as fuck. I don't think they speak in tongues or talk to snakes but they still...shut gets weird, mang.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon [Re: koraks]
#19139182 - 11/14/13 11:52 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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To be honest, I already try to be that way. This post is my way of trying to figure out how to deal with tough one-sided, loaded questions about faith, or morality. I try to keep to myself about these issues, but within the first month of working at my job, I was asked if I was Mormon. Some people tend to poke fun at the idea of atheism or other faiths..
I just want to be diplomatic, yet thought provoking, and ready for anything.
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche


Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Just be yourself.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon [Re: GreySatyr]
#19139325 - 11/15/13 12:33 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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BUT WHAT IF I'M NOT MYSELF
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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I think I'm always nervous because atheism has no framework, no rules, no up or down, no happy ending, no incentive. I'm agnostic because I'm not sure of anything, what kind of stance is that? Faith makes people so sure of their own morality. Religion has history, tradition, community. Religion makes people immortal! What do I have? What do I believe in?
Maybe this is more of an existential crisis than a relationship question.. I'm going to go read more Kurt Vonnegut.
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Yeah, Kurt Vonnegut will definitely help, whatever the crisis 
Why do you feel the need to have some sort of framework to stick to, or to derive your personal morality from? What goes wrong if you let that idea slip?
Imagine a Mormon asks you what sort of moral framework you adhere to, and you simply tell them "none." They might argue that that is inconvenient (you could ask why that is the case) and that a 'perfect' solution is available in the form of faith. You could then argue that you find faith as a package of rules to live by unsatisfactorily grounded in coherent reasoning and not perfectly fitting today's society. Moreover, you could simply state that you don't believe in God and that you therefore would view it as hypocritical to embrace any faith. No problem, right? Assuming the other party won't violently try to convert you.
I think all you can do is explain where you're coming from and from that point onward trust on the ability of other people to at least accept the way you think - even if they don't understand it.
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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon [Re: koraks]
#19144692 - 11/16/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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To me, personal morality is something you must learn from interacting with people and other living things. At least, that's my own vague definition on the spot. I think we all derive our morality from something, even if it's not a holy book.
Growing up, I've always had friends that were involved in church. As we grew, I slowly began to despise religion. I sort of lost friends because of it... which was my fault, being an arrogant ass. To me, Christianity was a load of archaic proverbs that may have been relevant 2,000 years ago... yet recently (the last year or so) I have come to realize how fruitless it is to argue with someone about its legitimacy. I stopped fussing so much, and started discussing things where a certain mutual understanding could be gained. I have become more patient, but no more sure of myself, no more confident in myself. My religion is based on not being sure. "You don't know what you don't know." Perhaps this is an acceptable way of thinking, but I just wish there was more to my "belief." I always thought life should be lived in some profound way, but I'm just having trouble finding the meaning.
Is there any literature you might suggest? My scope of authors is quite narrow. Out of luck, my best friend became hooked on Vonnegut and sucked me in.
Thanks for the input, ya'll.
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
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yeah I dated a mormon when I was younger and extremely athiest, it didn't work out very well.
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Quote:
TheEternalOpenEye said: I have become more patient, but no more sure of myself, no more confident in myself. My religion is based on not being sure.
That's a church I could subscribe to 
Obviously, you should read Nietzsche.
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TheEternalOpenEye
The Architecture of Being

Registered: 05/09/13
Posts: 67
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Agnostic/Atheist interested in Mormon [Re: koraks]
#19225186 - 12/04/13 02:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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oh, forgot to mention...
she just got engaged the weekend after i wrote this X) can't win em all.
-------------------- -Lifesigns "Why don't you reactivate her?" "Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?" "Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life."
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