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Shpongle1



Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 3,163
Loc: Above The Clouds
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF
#19117926 - 11/10/13 11:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm in a little relationship with a girl right now, pretty much just a sexual/friends with benefits kind of thing. We really just met and took a liking to each other and hang out fairly often with the intention of having sex with each other. She's a cool girl too but whatever that's not the point, nor does it have anything to do with the predicament.
She just got out of a long term relationship relatively recently. I don't know when exactly. The first time we met, we ended up hooking up. What was supposed to be a one night stand was so good that we both decided to keep it going. We had sex that night, and then twice in the morning. After we were done she told me "I've never had an orgasm before... But that was the closest I've ever been." She went on to say how her last boyfriend would try and try but she never could.
I'm not being arrogant when I say that I'm pretty positive the sex she has with me is the best sex she has ever had. I've always gotten great ratings and she might be my biggest fan yet. (I hope I don't sound like an asshole but this needs to be said for the sake of my inquiry.) She says frequently about how great it is, that she's told her friends and asks how I'm so good... But the thing is, I still don't think she's had an orgasm yet!
The question is: How can I make this happen for her? I'm not at all worried about it and she obviously is more than satisfied with what she has right now. But still, I don't understand what more she could need! We're still fairly new to each other so bringing in toys and stuff to add to it might be a little stretch still but I've considered that. Has anyone experienced this before? A girl who just CAN'T orgasm?? And NEVER has after 24 years of living? This is new to me...
-------------------- There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined. Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens.
- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.
Edited by Shpongle1 (11/11/13 12:17 AM)
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Shpongle1]
#19118236 - 11/11/13 12:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So have you asked her if/how she gets herself off by herself? You shouldn't be talking to us here; you should be talking to her
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Shpongle1



Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 3,163
Loc: Above The Clouds
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: koraks]
#19118266 - 11/11/13 12:23 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I did ask her that very question right when she told me. That was the first thing I said. "Even when you play with yourself? Like never had one, ever?" And she says yeah, she has NEVER had an orgasm. I don't know what to make of this.
It sounded to me like her last boyfriend made a big deal out of it and truthfully both of us are beyond happy with the sex we are having so I don't want to really say anything to mess it up. But I do sometimes think that its sad she's never had one and I consider myself MORE than capable of being the person to put her over the edge but I'm just not getting it.
At times if I'm going down on her and everything else that goes on during that, she will sometimes pull away abruptly. In a "its too much" kind of way. She's even said those exact words. The whole time she's in absolutely heaven, flailing around and moaning and squirming... Damn, I'm enjoying just thinking about it. But once its getting close to "that time" it suddenly becomes "too much" and then she has to stop. Its like she won't let herself cum... I'm so confused. Girls are tricky sometimes...
-------------------- There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined. Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens.
- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Shpongle1]
#19118428 - 11/11/13 12:58 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, sounds like she needs to let herself go. Stick with her and build trust, and keep exploring her sexual desires. And keep in mind that they may even lie outside your own comfort zone.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: koraks]
#19118629 - 11/11/13 01:50 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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OP the problem doesn't lie with you, it's with your girl. I've read online before that sometimes it can have to do with the girl not fully wanting to let go, and maybe some trust issues, or nervousness.
My gf has never had an orgasm and says she feels like she won't ever have one; She's also said the best sex she had has been with me so I don't think the problem is with you, or other people in this position where the girl feels this way.
All I can say is continue on with your sex life with her, and perhaps try to improve the overall quality of your sex life to better than what it already is. Also I would try what kodaks says.
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ghostshadow422
Stranger


Registered: 10/02/13
Posts: 162
Last seen: 8 years, 17 days
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19118671 - 11/11/13 02:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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100% it's her. sometimes women have traumatic sexual things happen to them and their mind shuts down the orgasm aspect of sex. if you're not willing to put a lot of time and effort into her as a person, good chance it won't happen. hey at least she don't mind you gettin off, but yeah after a while it gets old. I dated a girl before like that, never really knew what was up, then one Halloween night she got really trashed at a party and told me she wanted me to r@$% her like her father did. that explained a lot. she always went on about wanting to please me and was worried if she somehow didn't. needless to say I broke up with her 3 weeks later on thanksgiving. if she's worth it, just be open and gentle with that type of girl, your situation is one that can't be rushed.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: ghostshadow422]
#19118916 - 11/11/13 03:01 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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um ya it happens
orgasm is all mental for a female
penetration still feels awesome.
if i am 100% comfortable i orgasm a lot even if it sjust mediocre sex
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Shpongle1



Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 3,163
Loc: Above The Clouds
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Anonymous #2]
#19123042 - 11/11/13 08:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: um ya it happens
orgasm is all mental for a female
penetration still feels awesome.
if i am 100% comfortable i orgasm a lot even if it sjust mediocre sex
See this is what I don't understand. Some girls just go off like flipping a switch. It's not even fun its so easy. And then you have girls that despite anything and everything... Just won't. I mean, really? Never in your LIFE?! I love sex, I think its wonderful. And I love having great sex with cool girls. I guess we all do.
But this shit is sending me for a little bit of a loop. Like, do I not believe her? I mean really. NEVER? Not once? Zero orgasms, ever? Its a situation where I feel we both know we aren't going to end up together long term or anything. We enjoy each others company and like having sex with each other but I feel like she's almost using me to try to reach this plateau.
Which I'm fine with, and feel confident I can handle, it just means I need to deliver and I really think it is a mental thing. From a girls standpoint, what can you do to help? Her last boyfriend was with her for a long time so they sure as hell should've been comfortable together. You would think she should be comfortable with herself at least but she claims she hasn't even when alone.
-------------------- There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined. Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens.
- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.
Edited by Shpongle1 (11/11/13 09:47 PM)
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Shpongle1]
#19124065 - 11/11/13 11:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Toys and stuff... you're jumping too far ahead. In my experience, a girl hasn't had an orgasm because she is either A) not able to let herself be comfortable, B) hasn't learned how, or C) mentally blocking herself because for whatever reason it's not the right time.
I would have a great night with her, lots of flirting and build up. Make her dinner or something romantic or sexy. Shower with her. Lots of foreplay like pretty much the entire night is foreplay. Then just go 100% on her...live to please her that night. Just foreplay a lot...massage is awesome! turn her into an animal and then start the action. You can do it!!!
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kneesocks
Divineress



Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 870
Loc: Puget Sound/PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Black_Sunset]
#19124080 - 11/11/13 11:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know this one girl that says she doesn't masturbate, and it's surprising but I know she's being truthful.
I wouldn't be too concerned with being the one to make it happen; if she's enjoying it then that's fine. It may or may not happen eventually, but it's not something that you should let become a problem in your relationship.
-------------------- "An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt; A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next." -Bhagavad-gita 4:40
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SillyMe
alone



Registered: 04/19/11
Posts: 278
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: Shpongle1]
#19125280 - 11/12/13 07:37 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shpongle1 said:
But this shit is sending me for a little bit of a loop. Like, do I not believe her? I mean really. NEVER? Not once? Zero orgasms, ever?
I didn't have my first orgasm until well into my 30s. And I wasn't a late bloomer in the sex department. It just never happened. Ever. I gave up on masturbating for 10 years because it was worthless to me.
That doesn't mean sex (with a partner) didn't feel good - I've always enjoyed sex - immensely. I kind of think my inability of having an orgasm threw me into constant hypersexual overdrive. Never being fully satisfied just made me always want more.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be the one to break this cycle for her. All that is going to do is put pressure on her and leave you in constant disappointment. Just enjoy the moment.
-------------------- Oh, wind and rain they haunt me. Look to the North and pray. Send me, please, his kisses. Send them home today. I'm begging, Jesus, please. Send his love to me.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Girl says she's never had an orgasm... Loves having sex with me. WTF [Re: kneesocks]
#19125531 - 11/12/13 09:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
kneesocks said: I know this one girl that says she doesn't masturbate, and it's surprising but I know she's being truthful.
I wouldn't be too concerned with being the one to make it happen; if she's enjoying it then that's fine. It may or may not happen eventually, but it's not something that you should let become a problem in your relationship.
My partner doesn't masturbate either.
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