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Anonymous #1

My girlfriend, my self, and drugs
    #19097615 - 11/06/13 08:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So I'm going to keep this post brief and to the point.

I used to be a hardcore drug user, getting high everyday on just about anything I could find that was illicit. My drug use is very cyclical, I'll go through periods of heavy drug use, periods of low-no drug use, then the cycle repeats.

Generally, I go through 3-6 of these cycles a year, and in between two cycles I started hanging out with this girl. Right before we started dating, another cycle started.

Now this cycle never reached it's peak, namely because my girlfriend was there to help stop the cycle peaking, and I'm grateful for that.

I never really had a drug of choice, namely whatever my mood was. If I had the money, it would be cocaine 24/7. However my girlfriend likes stimulants, whether it be to get school work done, or for recreational purposes.

I didn't have any problems with that, until recently. I did vyvanse monday-friday last week for exams, and this was fine. However my girlfriend has a lot of work to do this weekend, and she wants to do stimulants. My parents are also going away this weekend, so it's a chance for me to have the house to myself. What do I want to do? Spend one day of my long weekend, kicking it, chilling it, partaking in some high quality narcotics.

But there's one problem to this, I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend tries to be quite controlling and I am aware of this. 50% of the time I just go along with it because I don't want to cause any troubles, the other 50% I speak up, we fight, and shit goes back to normal.

Now I have a plethora of drugs for any mood, ranging from columbian cocaine, all the way to benzos and thienodizapenes. I would thoroughly enjoy it if I could dig into this lovely stash of ketamine I have, but if I even brought it up to my girlfriend she would be upset and bothered.

So I feel like I'm "forced" into choosing stimulants once again. It's frustrating, if I had lots of work to do I'd be game, but I'll have maybe 4-5 hours of work tops, while my girlfriend has a good 8-12 hours of work to do. So I'll be left spending the rest of my time cleaning up the house, and doing a ton of programming.

Not to mention this will be the second week in a row where my dopamine is low. So at this point I have three options:
1)Do no drugs (I would prefer not to resort to this as I barely use compared to what I used to. Pot maybe once to twice every week or two, I get drunk once a week on a friday, followed by a single drink or two on saturday.
2)Shut up and do stimulants again
3)Speak up, and do a drug of my choice.

It's frustrating, and I realize this is a pretty disjointed post, but I'm tired and bothered. I'm also getting a little tired of my relationship with my girlfriend, but I feel like the positives outweigh the negatives, but I constantly change my mind.


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OfflineAtrium
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Re: My girlfriend, my self, and drugs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19097883 - 11/06/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'd say option 1 is the best. You ever get to a point where you're planning on when and how to get high, you're too far in. Abstaining from a month or two can be good.

But hey, I don't fuck with stims/downers/diss. I'm an all Psychs person.


--------------------
The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: My girlfriend, my self, and drugs [Re: Atrium]
    #19099325 - 11/07/13 08:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

I never really had a drug of choice, namely whatever my mood was. If I had the money, it would be cocaine 24/7.




I'm sorry....but, isn't cocaine a stimulant?....shit kept me up for days. Didn't you say that would be your drug of choice?:shrug: Wherein lies the problem?? OP


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


Edited by Thayendanegea (11/07/13 08:31 AM)


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: My girlfriend, my self, and drugs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19099557 - 11/07/13 09:41 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

OP I think the deeper problem is the control aspect of your relationship. It doesn't bode well for the future and will end in unhappiness for both of you.


--------------------
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Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

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Anonymous #1

Re: My girlfriend, my self, and drugs [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #19099637 - 11/07/13 10:06 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
OP I think the deeper problem is the control aspect of your relationship. It doesn't bode well for the future and will end in unhappiness for both of you.




Other then my drug issues what do you think the issue is?
I hate to say but I don't think the future bodes well either... Like I'm "happy" sometimes but other times it's just a really frustrating relationship. I have a lot of troubles saying no to her because she's been hurt by people in the past and I don't want to do that to her because I Don't want to see her hurt again.

This morning for example, I woke up a little late and was going to be late for school so I rushed into the shower, took a really quick one only washing my hair. Go to my room, and I ask her if it's okay for me to turn the lights on, she says yes so I turn them on. I start getting dressed and she starts looking at her phone and I said, "Can you please wait to do that? I'm going to be late for school."

She got really really mad and blamed me for ruining her morning. In fact, almost every morning that I have to go t oschool and she's here, she blames me for ruining her morning.

It's gotten to the point where on the way to school today, I was contemplating making a list of pros and cons to breaking up with her. But I also had a dream last night where I found out she had been cheating on me for 5 months and I was absolutely crushed.


I'm at a loss as to what to do :shrug:



Quote:

Jamesdnh said:
I'd say option 1 is the best. You ever get to a point where you're planning on when and how to get high, you're too far in. Abstaining from a month or two can be good.

But hey, I don't fuck with stims/downers/diss. I'm an all Psychs person.




I don't really plan in advance much, my parents said they were going away this saturday earlier in the week so I was like faaak it, that's drug day



Quote:

baltimark said:
Quote:

I never really had a drug of choice, namely whatever my mood was. If I had the money, it would be cocaine 24/7.




I'm sorry....but, isn't cocaine a stimulant?....shit kept me up for days. Didn't you say that would be your drug of choice?:shrug: Wherein lies the problem?? OP





Cocaine is more casual then amphetamines; Amphetamines last the whole day, whereas I can blow lines at 6pm, even 9pm and be in bed at 2-3am at the latest. I do that with amps, and I'll be hitting the sac at 10am.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: My girlfriend, my self, and drugs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19100578 - 11/07/13 01:30 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'd say option 3, solely on the fact that you don't want to enforce needy whiny guilt-inducing behavior on her part.

Do your thing, let her do hers, if you drift apart over this then fuck it, it wasn't meant to be.

Or at the very least, get her to commit that if you do coke with her now, she'll do K with you next time. There has to be some healthy give and take happening, not just whining, guilt and resentment.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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