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Offlineempty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
You Should Date An Illiterate Girl * 2
    #19093258 - 11/05/13 11:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This is a piece I came across. I am not the author, the author is Charles Warnke.

"Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you."

http://thoughtcatalog.com/charles-warnke/2011/01/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads/


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist
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Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: empty space]
    #19093655 - 11/06/13 01:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

good read!


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: TrentBoyett] * 2
    #19094188 - 11/06/13 06:37 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If what you write is true, that also means you should live less with your thoughts yourself :-D

just be,experience

we should all live less as our thoughts

if we do that, we don't have to worry, everything happens when it's time, for a reason
don't believe in coincidences, but I believe in love/soul connection

to love others we must love ourselves, as in a deep appreciation of every part of oneself, happiness most of the time, not our virtual appearance


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Invisibletito123
Male

Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 3,006
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: lessismore] * 1
    #19097384 - 11/06/13 08:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I feel like you have to strike a balance between loving yourself but also realizing you have lots of room for change and growth.

How do you begin to love yourself?  How do you love yourself but also find the drive to change and grow?


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OfflineAtrium
Cunt Tickler

Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 1,284
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: tito123]
    #19097854 - 11/06/13 09:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Perfection is an ever changing mountain of unattainable magnitudes. Shoot for the stars; land on the moon.
You must not be comfortable with mediocrity because, once a certain point is settled upon, happiness is now miles beyond reach.
Being comfortable with yourself is recognizing your flaws and fixing what you can, while admitting to yourself what you cannot.


--------------------
The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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OfflineAll We Perceive
Sea Cucumber
Male


Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 10,491
Last seen: 7 months, 5 days
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: tito123]
    #19098100 - 11/06/13 10:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

tito123 said:
I feel like you have to strike a balance between loving yourself but also realizing you have lots of room for change and growth.

How do you begin to love yourself?  How do you love yourself but also find the drive to change and grow?




I have been wrestling with these seemingly paradoxical aspirations for many years.  I am far from perfect; however, I can reflect on my many victories where I persevered through certain failure (so I thought) and crawled to victory.  I can marvel at my very refreshing wit, open mind, and lack of stagnancy.  I feel like I am becoming more "me" every day.  I've come a LONG way in certain things--especially social skills.  I can look back and see the goon I used to be and see how far I've come.  In a few years, I am certain that I will be even better than I am now in ways that I didn't even expect.  However, very few, if any, are born with the skills to succeed in the world, and I know that I am no exception.  I can look at myself and my life and be relatively content.  However, as I process through negative mental states and expel them, I see things getting better and better.  I hone skills and watch me get better and better at them through many failures.  I realize that it takes a really long time to change anything about myself and I accept that.  I accept that the journey and struggle is worth the outcome.  I've made really bad mistakes and I accept them, for the most part.  I've learned that life does not need to be completely planned and that spontaneousness is valuable.

I dunno man, I've struggled with loving myself for as long as I can remember.  I see people who are hotter, smarter, wittier, more athletic, what have you and I still leer at them with envy--just not as much as I used to.  All the same, as I write this, I realize for the very first time that I do love myself.  I didn't have any grand revelations or properly digested parcels of wisdom.  It just happened :shrug:  I dunno..... feels fucking weird.  It feels like teetering on the edge of a bad trip and regaining your composure--sitting in the "commander's chair" as I call it-- with that feeling of refreshment and certainty.

I think the most valuable realization is that the more I act like a kid and just do what I feel, life is WAY better.  I realize that I am the one steering my ship and that earns my love.  At the same time, that creativity, imagination, and guiltless pleasure is something I try to emulate every day.  Now, "changing and growing" is trying to align my life with those childlike qualities rather than some contrived "adult" qualities.  The more child I become, the more I love myself.  In summation, I feel like I've found the right "path" and I have the courage to go down it.  This makes me love myself yet I simultaneously know that it is an endless journey for stagnation is antithetical to my love of myself as it is the continuing journey down that path combined with knowing that I am on the right path which generates my self-love.

Hope that makes sense.  Probably doesn't.  It was very cathartic for me though.  :sunny:


Edited by All We Perceive (11/06/13 10:47 PM)


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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner
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Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19102999 - 11/07/13 09:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:congrats:


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: tito123] * 1
    #19104179 - 11/08/13 06:59 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

tito123 said:
I feel like you have to strike a balance between loving yourself but also realizing you have lots of room for change and growth.

How do you begin to love yourself?  How do you love yourself but also find the drive to change and grow?




Learning from mistakes is how I did it :-)

Stop doing what makes you unhappy

Soon you will love the food you eat, what you do, the rain that rains, the sun that shines, nature, every part of yourself, everything you see

Had to reduce stress a bit, nature helped with that

learning from mistakes is a continious path, removing most of your mistakes doesnt mean you stop making mistakes
thats the only thing that is certain, were here to learn ;-)  we all make mistakes throughout all our lives

acceptance is learned, acceptance is love, and it must be learned over and over again
continuous path for self improvement

if we are frustrated about others we are frustrated about ourselves
so we dont love ourselves anymore

we need to get rid of most frustration,fear,doubt,worrying to fully love ourselves
but that is a continuous path, one might succeed for a year and be back to start next year
takes dedication and hard work

nature,meditation,simple lifestyle I will recommend
nature everyday


Edited by lessismore (11/08/13 07:07 AM)


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InvisibleMyco_Militia
Farmer
Registered: 11/08/12
Posts: 108
Loc: Flag
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: lessismore]
    #19108043 - 11/08/13 10:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Awesome read my friend.  :thumbup:


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OfflineMicroppose
Things Maker
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Registered: 11/30/10
Posts: 849
Loc: Amongst you...
Last seen: 3 hours, 16 minutes
Re: You Should Date An Illiterate Girl [Re: Myco_Militia]
    #19194767 - 11/27/13 12:02 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Absolutely beautiful.


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