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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
How many times a day do you toot?
    #19087740 - 11/04/13 10:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

About how many times a day do you fart? I swear, sometimes I can go for days without a fart, then sometimes I fart enough to blow up balloons for a birthday party.



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Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


Edited by Moorning Due (11/04/13 10:27 PM)


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19087773 - 11/04/13 10:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Kinda Personal, but about a hundred times a day. That means I'm healthy right?.. Hope so


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Offlinehidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: zZZz]
    #19087786 - 11/04/13 10:36 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

not to toot my own horn, but i fart plenty


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You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
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lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: hidenseek1]
    #19087812 - 11/04/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Farting is right up there with sneezing. Feels really good, unless you can't control it or do it too many times.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19087826 - 11/04/13 10:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

According to Dr. Oz, the average woman farts about 94 times a week.


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Offlinehidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 5
    #19087834 - 11/04/13 10:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

anyone up for a no-fart november?


--------------------
You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #19087839 - 11/04/13 10:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So about 15 times a day . Interesting


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OfflineJesus Cristo
High on Drugs
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Registered: 07/25/11
Posts: 739
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #19087840 - 11/04/13 10:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i never fart u guyz r gross


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Jesus Cristo] * 2
    #19087859 - 11/04/13 10:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Jesus Cristo said:
i never fart u guyz r gross



Yeah, gurlz don't fart, they queef.

Quote:

hidenseek1 said:
anyone up for a no-fart november?



This would be hard with Thanksgiving coming up.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


Edited by Moorning Due (11/04/13 10:55 PM)


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Invisibletealeaf
Just Touch It
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Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 2,907
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19087875 - 11/04/13 11:00 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

this vegan girl was trying to convince me to go vegan once by saying you will never burp or fart again.............

girl lost me at never fart again


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Offlinewatermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: tealeaf]
    #19087939 - 11/04/13 11:15 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:lol: it happens not much but at least its not like sharting I mean what do you do if that happens and your out or something 
run for the hills


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: watermelon mon]
    #19087963 - 11/04/13 11:21 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You haven't lived until you have shit your self in your sleep.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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OfflineNotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: hidenseek1]
    #19088164 - 11/05/13 12:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

hidenseek1 said:
anyone up for a no-fart november?



I am


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OfflineNotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: NotTheDevil] * 1
    #19088166 - 11/05/13 12:17 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

NotTheDevil said:
Quote:

hidenseek1 said:
anyone up for a no-fart november?



I am



I failed :unwanted:


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: NotTheDevil] * 1
    #19088232 - 11/05/13 12:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

NotTheDevil said:
Quote:

NotTheDevil said:
Quote:

hidenseek1 said:
anyone up for a no-fart november?



I am



I failed :unwanted:



I have failed so many times today.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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Invisible4runner
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Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19088252 - 11/05/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I's need one of those number counter clickers.

It really depends on my diet.

Also, what is a fart? If I have the gas I could force out a big long rumbler...  But I could also let it go naturally and have many small seismic attacks.

The only way to truly measure it is to capture the gas and measure its volume I think.  Kind of like survival and measuring your piss to make sure you have dranken enough. Or so they said on tha one show.


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: 4runner]
    #19088263 - 11/05/13 12:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

anunnakian said:
Also, what is a fart?



Sorry, "Human GE"...


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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Invisible4runner
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19088273 - 11/05/13 12:57 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Moorning Due said:
Quote:

anunnakian said:
Also, what is a fart?



Sorry, "Human GE"...





What? Human Gas Expenditure?

I mean, when does a fart end and when does it start.
One could sit on the toilet and fart for some good times. There will be pauses but at what interval does a fart happen. If you are forceing some crazy gas bubble it could go like



It that one fart controlled or is that over 9000?


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


Registered: 10/08/13
Posts: 8,061
Loc: ether jet of existence
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: 4runner] * 1
    #19088301 - 11/05/13 01:09 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Each flap of your butt cheek is 1/10 of a fart, so 10 flaps divided by 2 butt cheeks is 5 butt flaps from both cheeks.



BOULDER, CO -- Studies performed at the University of Colorado at Boulder have concluded that while most forms of flatulence are nasty to outright disgusting in smell, flatulence emitted by vegans can be borderline toxic and even deadly. The study highlighted that the vegan digestive tracts lacks certain enzymes needed to break down the molecules that cause the especially rank odors associated with methane gases produced by the human body.

Professor Tammy Andrews used the overwhelming amount of brain damage linked to outdoor festivals like Bonnaroo and Burning Man as a place to begin her research and she discovered that the amount of brain damage connected to the festivals was because of something more than just the drugs and various narcotics that were being ingested: "These people were being exposed to more than just drugs. There was some sort of gas in the air that was effecting them as though they were inhaling radon."

Professor Andrews eventually discovered the gas was the flatulence of thousands of people, but what was emitted by the vegan festivalgoers was the by far the most dangerous.

"The combination of soy cheese and cabbage is especially lethal," says Andrews.

According to Andrews, the best way to protect yourself at outdoor festivals is to drink plenty of nonalcoholic fluids and stay away from where the jam bands are performing.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: How many times a day do you toot? [Re: Moorning Due]
    #19088462 - 11/05/13 02:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

HA.

excellent choice of .gif OP


I think I remember reading that people fart on average 15 times a day, and it's a little under a liter of gas total


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