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NotLiving
Stranger

Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 52
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? 1
#19087347 - 11/04/13 08:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey guys, I've been dealing with depression for quite a while now. My depression isn't necessarily the depression where I feel sad, but it's where I feel numbness (anhedonia) and apathetic. I feel nothing with anyone and everyone. I feel no pleasure out of the activities I used to do, that includes music and all that.
There's a whole lot more to it. I don't wanna make this a long post or anything so I'll just try to get to the point.
I've been exercising for well over 10 months now. Nothing I have done have really done much for my anhedonia. I've done MDMA, DXM (low dose), salvia (also low dose), weed, and alcohol. It's not much, I know, but just putting it out there for those who are interested in what I have already tried.
But a little background info about myself: I've always seen myself as a happy, cheerful person. I've been energetic around the people I know and the past few years, I've been getting more social and stuff. So during the time I wasn't depressed, I actually got better at socializing (I owe it to my job). It felt great, and I thought life was only gonna get better from there.
Unfortunately, the depression has hit me and I feel really lost in touch with everyone and everything. I feel so disconnected from my emotions and while I could express them, I can't feel them.
I really dunno what it is. And I'm really hoping I can find the answer from a psychedelic. I don't want to get my hopes all up and all that but I'm at least just hoping it could do something for me. I'm already at a huge loss in my life that I feel that there's nothing left for me to do.
I can express my emotions but I cannot feel them. It's actually been getting a lot tougher expressing it. I don't really understand what's the cause for all this Is it that my emotions are getting to the point where it's becoming more and more suppressed and the more it stays that way, the worse it gets?
Is there a way I can finally get it back? Maybe a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Maybe get a little rope ladder to climb up out of this pit?
I don't know. I feel so lost in touch with it all I feel like there's not much I could do about it. Enough with the dieting/sleep/exercise/see a psychologist/psychiatrist kind of thing... I've been trying and I've been on medication before, too.
I just want to know and hear other people's stories and success... At least that will reassure me. I won't be taking any crazy dose because I know things could go wrong but I'm just hoping that things do get better in the end.
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Brain Melter



Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 48
Loc: planet earth
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving]
#19087365 - 11/04/13 08:56 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I posted this in another thread :
(I hate to get personal and corny but you sound like you need a little help)I felt the same way as you when I was around 15. Nothing was going right for me I got locked up, all my friends were turning into heroin addicts, my family was deep in poverty, my father was out of work and hopped up on painkillers because of his injury, girl problems etc. I felt truly alone and everyday I woke up I would think just about getting through my day so I could fall back asleep and ignore the pain and shit. The one thing that helped me was contributing to society honestly. I was forced to do community service at first by the law, but then I started to do things to help people on my own and it took away my lonely feeling. Things really took a turn for the best when I left the city to go work at a summer camp in the woods with kids of all ages. The kids looked up to me so much and just playing sports with them or giving them advice on life meant the world to them and made me feel like I was apart of the rest of society. They were just kids from other parts of the city who didnt know me as anyone other than a their counselor for 2 weeks. They didnt know that the previous year I was a robbing and fighting punk who didnt give a shit about dying or anything other than drugs and money. Honestly I had even forgotten who I had been not long before going away...it was like a clean slate and when I got home I felt like a new person and I actually felt like a man for once who could handle responsibility. Moral of the story, the reason you feel lonely is because you are living for yourself, and thats not how a perfect world functions
but yeah man I love helping women carry strollers down stairs or helping elderly people off the bus and with heavy items. Feels good
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Brain Melter



Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 48
Loc: planet earth
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Brain Melter]
#19087384 - 11/04/13 09:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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you will not cure depression from doing a drug hahaha nothing is that easy.
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NotLiving
Stranger

Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 52
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Brain Melter]
#19087412 - 11/04/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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-sigh- I never said that I planned on doing psychedelic to "cure" my depression. I already know that it's not there to cure my depression and if I'm looking at it that way I have already set myself up for disappointment...
I'm really asking to see if anyone has any experiences of their own with depression and psychedelic. The thing about "being helpful" to others don't feel "rewarding" at all to me. I just don't feel it, really. I'm still a kind and nice person to people most of the time but I don't really feel that reward for doing it. And I know you say that you shouldn't care about whether or not you feel rewarded, but in the sense of being "rewarded", I'm not talking about being rewarded from the person I'm helping at all.
There's this thing in your brain that just makes you feel good for accomplishing shit. I don't get any of that. And I don't know why.
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Brain Melter



Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 48
Loc: planet earth
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving]
#19087440 - 11/04/13 09:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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maybe doing bad things will make you happy. One bad habit ill never kick is graffiti its a sick addiction and no sex, drug or anything feels better to me than walking through subway tunnels and rooftops with paint for some reason. find your thing braj
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Sanpedrox
North of the wall


Registered: 08/25/13
Posts: 198
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving]
#19087452 - 11/04/13 09:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think mushrooms bring on a sort of understanding about the world and the way it operates, makes me realize the things that happen around you that you don't usually notice "sober"
Helps me understand the world we live in and make me feel more connected.
--------------------
Edited by Sanpedrox (11/04/13 09:22 PM)
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Jesus Cristo
High on Drugs



Registered: 07/25/11
Posts: 739
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Sanpedrox]
#19087509 - 11/04/13 09:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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take a low dose, to start off and then take a larger dose. you'll get a lot out of it, and taking a larger dose could maybe give you the answers you're looking for to get out of your depression. you'll just have to put in a bit of work, but it's almost a surefire way with the right set setting and intentions to get through it.
good luck man.
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Brain Melter



Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 48
Loc: planet earth
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Sanpedrox]
#19087517 - 11/04/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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yeah shrooms will make you feel incredibly happy and content with the world. Lsd never really made me happy just overwhel;med by visuals
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Jesus Cristo
High on Drugs



Registered: 07/25/11
Posts: 739
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Brain Melter]
#19087589 - 11/04/13 09:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Brain Melter said: yeah shrooms will make you feel incredibly happy and content with the world. Lsd never really made me happy just overwhel;med by visuals
yeah i'd recommend mushies more for something like this over lsd, but i can see lsd being just as therapeutic if not more so in some ways. stan grof's book on lsd therapy is a good read if you're interested in that OP. I also tried MDMA not too long ago and i can definitely see that being just as helpful as any psych, and with a lot more ease. with lsd and mdma though, if you're looking for that type of experience, you'll want to get the purest stuff you can get, so that's another reason why i'd recommend shrooms since you don't have to worry about that.
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NotLiving
Stranger

Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 52
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Brain Melter]
#19087646 - 11/04/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Brain Melter said: maybe doing bad things will make you happy. One bad habit ill never kick is graffiti its a sick addiction and no sex, drug or anything feels better to me than walking through subway tunnels and rooftops with paint for some reason. find your thing braj
Thanks bro, but I don't think it'd work like that. Whatever used to make me happy no longer makes me happy. Nothing makes me happy. I know it's hard to believe that someone lives in the world without any joy or excitement but that's really how I feel right now.
And I get that a lot about exercising or just looking for something new to do. It isn't easy when you find NOTHING gives you pleasure. Not even listening to new music and such. You can express it like you're having a whole lot of fun but in reality, you don't have any fun.
It just doesn't feel possible in your brain or something. Thanks buddy, trust me, I would if I could.
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NotLiving
Stranger

Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 52
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Jesus Cristo]
#19087658 - 11/04/13 10:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jesus Cristo said:
Quote:
Brain Melter said: yeah shrooms will make you feel incredibly happy and content with the world. Lsd never really made me happy just overwhel;med by visuals
yeah i'd recommend mushies more for something like this over lsd, but i can see lsd being just as therapeutic if not more so in some ways. stan grof's book on lsd therapy is a good read if you're interested in that OP. I also tried MDMA not too long ago and i can definitely see that being just as helpful as any psych, and with a lot more ease. with lsd and mdma though, if you're looking for that type of experience, you'll want to get the purest stuff you can get, so that's another reason why i'd recommend shrooms since you don't have to worry about that.
Thank you! I'd like to know more about psychedelic books (specifically ones that talk about psychedelic healing). I just want to make sure I can go into my "trip" (even though I'll be taking a low dose) with a good intention of understanding myself and why I feel the way I do.
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s240779

Registered: 12/07/10
Posts: 12,880
Last seen: 2 months, 9 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving]
#19087679 - 11/04/13 10:10 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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In my experience, low doses of psychedelic drugs are very helpful.
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: s240779]
#19087724 - 11/04/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Psychedelics have been the best thing for my depression so far. I didn't even know how to feel joy before them
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Jesus Cristo
High on Drugs



Registered: 07/25/11
Posts: 739
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: s240779]
#19087736 - 11/04/13 10:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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the first time i did mushrooms i did only one gram. i quickly realized there was nothing to fear and took two sometime later. i was experiencing depression at that time, but it was almost as if in the trip i felt that everything was okay. i realized what love meant and what it meant to be happy. there was absolutely no negative effects either, it was just a perfect experience.
so yeah like people have said you can't go wrong with low doses even though some people say to go all out your first time.
Edited by Jesus Cristo (11/04/13 10:25 PM)
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NotLiving
Stranger

Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 52
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Jesus Cristo]
#19088890 - 11/05/13 07:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thank you guys for your responses. I'll look forward to tripping this Saturday. I just want to have more reassurance that things will be alright (as I read everybody saying that the better your mindset is as you go into it the better it will be overall).
I don't want there to be any bad vibes (but if it happens, I'll just let it flow to the best of my abilities).
And I do plan on tripping with a friend or two. I'm hoping they'll be able enjoy the experience as well.
Also, as far as I'm concerned, I probably know the most about psychedelics among my friends. So I was wondering what are some stuff I could show them that'd require not too much reading but enough to get them prepared for a trip. You know, things like "Just let it go" and trying your best not to think of bad shit, but if it happens, well, it happened. Just let it go.
And how bad vibes and environment (set and setting) can play a huge role in your trip.
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billy95
Stranger
Registered: 08/30/13
Posts: 33
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving]
#19089101 - 11/05/13 08:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I am in the same boat as you and I highly recommend LSD or if you cannot get hold of it LSZ or AL-LAD. It literally changes my whole thought patterns and makes me have a deep think about life. After the trip has finished it gives me a good afterglow and teaches me to appreciate life again for a while.
Also for the depression part I used to think about suicide every day until I met someone that really understands me and has almost everything in common with me. We help eachother with our depression lots. Try to find someone that understands you and don't be afraid to tell them anything and be yourself around them it will help with depression lots.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Brain Melter]
#19089429 - 11/05/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Brain Melter said: I posted this in another thread :
(I hate to get personal and corny but you sound like you need a little help)I felt the same way as you when I was around 15. Nothing was going right for me I got locked up, all my friends were turning into heroin addicts, my family was deep in poverty, my father was out of work and hopped up on painkillers because of his injury, girl problems etc. I felt truly alone and everyday I woke up I would think just about getting through my day so I could fall back asleep and ignore the pain and shit. The one thing that helped me was contributing to society honestly. I was forced to do community service at first by the law, but then I started to do things to help people on my own and it took away my lonely feeling. Things really took a turn for the best when I left the city to go work at a summer camp in the woods with kids of all ages. The kids looked up to me so much and just playing sports with them or giving them advice on life meant the world to them and made me feel like I was apart of the rest of society. They were just kids from other parts of the city who didnt know me as anyone other than a their counselor for 2 weeks. They didnt know that the previous year I was a robbing and fighting punk who didnt give a shit about dying or anything other than drugs and money. Honestly I had even forgotten who I had been not long before going away...it was like a clean slate and when I got home I felt like a new person and I actually felt like a man for once who could handle responsibility. Moral of the story, the reason you feel lonely is because you are living for yourself, and thats not how a perfect world functions
but yeah man I love helping women carry strollers down stairs or helping elderly people off the bus and with heavy items. Feels good
It does my heart good to hear someone finding the real way to help oneself feel better! Helping someone less fortunate than ourselves or even more fortunate....always helps to make us feel better ....this is tried and true. ...5 shrooms to you my friend!
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Sagescruffy
CH



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 2,011
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 6 months, 12 days
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Thayendanegea]
#19089534 - 11/05/13 11:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Love.  
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: Sagescruffy]
#19089571 - 11/05/13 11:18 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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The best way of being happy is making others happy/seeing them happy
that includes your pets too
shrooms/lsd cured my long lasting depression
nature,houseplants,guitar,seeing pets happy/making them happy , everyday there are no bad days
I can get happy from the rain raining or the sun shining , or nature everyday now ;-) new miracle everyday from houseplants when I wake up, new surprise everyday same love everyday from nature same love everyday for my pets when I wake up, even if sick same love from seeing / making others happy
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banned207
Stranger

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Re: Positive stories/experiences with shrooms and depression? [Re: NotLiving] 1
#19092254 - 11/05/13 08:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NotLiving said: My depression isn't necessarily the depression where I feel sad, but it's where I feel numbness (anhedonia) and apathetic. I feel nothing with anyone and everyone. I feel no pleasure out of the activities I used to do, that includes music and all that.
I totally identify with your story. When I get depressed I don't get sad, but tired and apathetic, mostly dropping my social life and getting behind on work. I scored borderline clinically depressed and the doctor thought it would be better for me to adjust my work and relationship status than taking medication.
The depression went away after my first trip in May. Then I got a girlfriend in June and the feelings didn't return until we broke up early October. I think the current depression is normal end of relationship depression however.
There are studies indicating mushrooms positive effect on mood for 1.5 years or more post trip.
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