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OfflineSpacerific
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Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Need advice. :( [Re: Enjoywho]
    #19085833 - 11/04/13 03:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

OP, do you have any physical contact with this girl at all, like ever? Not sexual or erotic, but physical skin on skin touch?

Even now on a clear head, what exactly do you hope that this girl (or any girl) will do after you tell her, verbally, that "you have feelings" for her? I for one don't see that going anywhere at all at this stage.

Get fucking in there, start physically doing something and get some feedback, take her out on awesome adventures, learn to break the ice and break the distance, get her used to you and you get used to her and you will have a shot. No you didn't blow it, if you did she would have said "I don't feel the same way" or "I just like you as a friend" or some other clear friendzone message.

Right now you are in limbo, headed for friendzone or creep zone, but by no means there, so you do have time to play your cards right and get the girl.

Play your cards right.

Oh and what exactly has been going on in these past 5 years? Wishful thinking and masturbation? Were you in some other relationship? Was she? If you did nothing constructive these 5 years then one drunken slip won't really matter, it's all down the drain anyway. I'm surprised she's still talking to you. Since she is, get in there and make the best of it :biggrin:

:stayfunky:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Need advice. :( [Re: Spacerific]
    #19085934 - 11/04/13 03:36 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
Oh and what exactly has been going on in these past 5 years? Wishful thinking and masturbation? Were you in some other relationship? Was she? If you did nothing constructive these 5 years then one drunken slip won't really matter, it's all down the drain anyway. I'm surprised she's still talking to you. Since she is, get in there and make the best of it :biggrin:

:stayfunky:



Why would she not still be talking to him just because they've never gotten physical in the 5 years they've known each other? Is our society really so shallow that people don't see value in anything beyond that?


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleTheShroomingAtheis
He's gone....


Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 2,734
Re: Need advice. :( [Re: Sheekle]
    #19086161 - 11/04/13 04:29 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Oh shit. I had a relationship in between, yes. Was soooo shitty though. No true love or anything. Thing is, If i didn;t know he as well, i would be much more eager to get really personal with her. I feel like I can't though. She said she wants time to decide and I still didnt get a reply. It is kinda difficult to approach her circle sober too  :scat: . Only way I can easily approach her is on facebook. Without having to deal with her friends that is.


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You gotta face the music!


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OfflineSpacerific
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Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Need advice. :( [Re: TheShroomingAtheis]
    #19088151 - 11/05/13 12:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TheShroomingAtheis said:
Only way I can easily approach her is on facebook. Without having to deal with her friends that is.



Mate, with all due respect, this is PRECISELY what would make you a complete dickless nerd in her eyes. This is exactly how fearful insecure nerds act. Female to male attraction works (among other things) based on things like a guy being OK with himself, his personal space, his breathing, being able to physically walk up to a girl, be chill and playful and not lose his shit when having a normal convo, etc. even if the girl is smoking hot. Acting diametrically opposed to this will put you in the friend zone.

Watch some nerd body language while they try to talk to girls, you'll see a lot of hands in pockets, hands going across the center of the body (instinctively protecting / hiding vital zones), one meter distances, stiff legs and back, chaotic eye movements and insecure eye contact, shallow nervous voice, the works.

Sure one way to get anything done is with alcohol, it will loosen you up, but then if the only way you can function around her is slightly buzzed, you're now reinforcing a cycle that goes anxiety -> alcohol -> reward. Even if you end up in a relationship with her you're likely to use that cycle more and more, as you WILL get anxious from time to time. Find a solution that works, not booze. Try mush micro-dosing for instance, it will give you the same loosening effect, but with more attention involved, not just mindless ignorance of social cues.

If you feel this girl is out of your league at the moment, then get one that isn't. Get a short cheapo rebound relationship, fuck your brains out for a few days / weeks, then your body will be much more secure and chill, you yourself will be much more able to approach her and calmly ask how she's doing, etc. From there you can build something lasting, but put in the work to do it right.

Oh and take a bunch of Omega 3 for about a week, I've found it to help tremendously :thumbup:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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