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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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To go along with the other thread about poop...
#19081027 - 11/03/13 03:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So I was on the road today eating a McDonalds cheese burger and drinking a double espresso macchiato from Starbucks (we can see where this is heading).
Next thing I know I'm pulling into the nearest rest stop to use a bathroom. SURPRISE there's only a row of porta potties! 
I run in and miss judge the height of the seat and slam down real hard...then I jerked up because it hurt. Basically when I jumped up I pooped in a projectile fashion and.....I....I pulled a hip muscle 
So what I'm saying is I pulled a muscle pooping....and its not the first time either. I just felt like sharing.
To keep this from getting rule 4d share the most embarrassing/stupid thing you've done while pooping if you think we can stomach it
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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PLOWTO



Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 740
Loc: Dodongo's Cavern
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19081107 - 11/03/13 03:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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i can't comment cuz i don't have an embarrassing poop story
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stimpson
a superhero buddha



Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,336
Loc: ny
Last seen: 10 days, 8 hours
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: PLOWTO]
#19081275 - 11/03/13 04:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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SORRY LONGWINDED POST
i have been weight lifting for a little over 6 years now, for about 1. hours to 2 hours per day. lots of squats, which work ur abs, because i luuuuuuuv legs . i know i should be working my biceps, but... i'm a total perv i can't help it.
anyway, i recently graduated from college. i was a little late to discover the laxative effects of coffee... but this came as a byproduct of being stuck in an office every single day for 8 hours. but once i figured out a couple cups of coffee could clean out ur colon every day, i became addicted!!!!!!!!
unfortunately, i worked a 40 hour office position alongside a part time 20 hour grocery story job. this mean that on fridays, i had to rush home from the office at 5pm, try and poop, change clothes, and then rush to the grocery story to work 6pm til 11pm.
one day i was pressed for time, and came FLYING home in a rush to try and poop and change. if u practice "coffee therapy" you'll know that some days, no matter how much you at the day before or how much coffee you drink, there just ain't any poop comin'. well, it was one of those days but i tried my hardest anyways.
too hard. i was gripping the toilet below me and flexing my whole body trying to squeeze one out as fast as possible. i flexed and flexed, and then felt one side of my abdominal muscles start to spasm and felt like a POP. fuck, i got so worried.
it didn't hurt that bad at first, but when i returned to the gym the next day it started to go downhill really fast. after about a week, it felt like someone had shot me in the ribs with a canon and i couldn't even lift a gallon of milk.
i went to the emergency room and got checked out. i thought i had caused a really problematic hernia or something, and i had ripped muscles away from my bones or ripped sinew or something...
they took a bunch of xrays and eventually told me to "relax" and that i was acting hysterical over nothing. but man, it really hurt.
so... i took a bunch of days off from work, and limited my exercise to the exercise bike and the krank machine for a couple of months... and eventually i healed pretty good.
this all happened in march, and it's now november.
funny thing about this thread is, i just pulled it AGAIN the other day! not as bad as before, but i got a spasm and thought "whoa whoa whoa, stop". it hurt reaaaaaally bad the other day, but i quit doing squats and now it feels a bit better.
anyway... people always talk about how u can hurt urself in the gym. it's funny i have never done that, but i hurt myself TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT!!!!
-------------------- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ... ok.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: stimpson]
#19081325 - 11/03/13 04:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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that was pretty good.
Dear plow: you already commented 
Come on you guys....I know you have something to share.
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,812
Loc: Ottawa
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19081448 - 11/03/13 05:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Shit happens
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: Patlal]
#19081458 - 11/03/13 05:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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OP you're my new hero.
Also, nicotine does this for me and a lot of others.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: Patlal]
#19081486 - 11/03/13 05:18 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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That it does, that it does
Thanks st1il,man you have a story to share?
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19081518 - 11/03/13 05:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: That it does, that it does
Thanks st1il,man you have a story to share?
I might actually. Give me 5 minutes here.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: st1llnox]
#19081586 - 11/03/13 05:39 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Okay story time...
Our awesome shroomerite goldcaphunter asked if I had a story, and I went out and smoked 2 cigarettes and then I took a shit. 
Even though I already took like 2 shits today. (My smoking has really ramped up since actually starting again recently).
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: st1llnox]
#19081676 - 11/03/13 05:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I wish I could poop that frequently. I always try to poop when I get up but I never can until late morning when I'm driving....its annoying as fuck!
Cool story bro 
You reeled me in with an attention grabbing intro then BAM! You closed with an exhillerating plateau !
seriously though two a day is impressive.
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19081774 - 11/03/13 06:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: So I was on the road today eating a McDonalds cheese burger and drinking a double espresso macchiato from Starbucks (we can see where this is heading).
Next thing I know I'm pulling into the nearest rest stop to use a bathroom. SURPRISE there's only a row of porta potties! 
I run in and miss judge the height of the seat and slam down real hard...then I jerked up because it hurt. Basically when I jumped up I pooped in a projectile fashion and.....I....I pulled a hip muscle 
So what I'm saying is I pulled a muscle pooping....and its not the first time either. I just felt like sharing.
To keep this from getting rule 4d share the most embarrassing/stupid thing you've done while pooping if you think we can stomach it 
i cried laughing while reading this, thank you so much
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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: JesusIsLord]
#19081850 - 11/03/13 06:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Haha no problem man!
Care to share any.....experiences....?
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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mikeisapro
Pro
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 3,206
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19081922 - 11/03/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't have anything that epic, but one time on opiates I had the worst constipation I've ever experienced. There was a lot of shit in there, trying to come out in bursts. Each burst was like a dry heave, except with a lot more pressure, as I gripped the seat and kept adjusting positions to no avail.
I was involuntarily moaning in pain (you know, that HHHHNNNNGGGGGG sound) at regular intervals for quite a while. I was sweating pretty bad.
When it was over, my friend said it sounded like I was having labor pains. I concurred.
It did feel like I'd given birth in there..
-------------------- Life without drugs lacks substance(s).
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: mikeisapro]
#19082067 - 11/03/13 07:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter]
#19082093 - 11/03/13 07:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: Haha no problem man!
Care to share any.....experiences....?
nothin special really. i mean i shat myself when i was real little. i remember shattin meself at the end of my street when i was like 5, i was just tryin so hard to make it home and hold it in to no avail. i was balling my head off with shit runnin down my leg. THAT sucked.
other than that i can think of one insane story. i was a freshman at WSU. i was on the crew team, and we were doing an ergathon (working the rowing machine). Well if I recall correctly I did 30 kilometers on the rowing machine on very little breakfast. I was FAMISHED. My metabolism was running on hyperdrive. I literally inhaled a meal of some mongolian beef somewhere and my stomach digested it instantly. I mean like within 10 minutes I had to shit out the same thing I ate 
I went to a public bathroom and thank my lucky fucking stars it was empty. What came next I can only describe as explosive partially digested spit shits. It was terrible. A plume of toxic gas accompanied it. It, too, was terrible. I was only SO SO SO relieved to have that pressure out of me insidey parts and that not a soul could hear the disgusting rupture of evil I had unleashed upon that poor, poor toilet.
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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
Edited by JesusIsLord (11/03/13 07:15 PM)
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: JesusIsLord]
#19082155 - 11/03/13 07:30 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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that's impressive man! I hate taking shits in public restrooms especially when I know what's coming
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: mikeisapro]
#19083337 - 11/03/13 11:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: I wish I could poop that frequently. I always try to poop when I get up but I never can until late morning when I'm driving....its annoying as fuck!
Cool story bro 
You reeled me in with an attention grabbing intro then BAM! You closed with an exhillerating plateau !
seriously though two a day is impressive.
Bitch that shit I took for you was shit #3, thank you very much  Quote:
mikeisapro said: I don't have anything that epic, but one time on opiates I had the worst constipation I've ever experienced. There was a lot of shit in there, trying to come out in bursts. Each burst was like a dry heave, except with a lot more pressure, as I gripped the seat and kept adjusting positions to no avail.
I was involuntarily moaning in pain (you know, that HHHHNNNNGGGGGG sound) at regular intervals for quite a while. I was sweating pretty bad.
When it was over, my friend said it sounded like I was having labor pains. I concurred.
It did feel like I'd given birth in there..
Was it a boy or a girl tho?
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: To go along with the other thread about poop... [Re: goldcaphunter] 1
#22691438 - 12/23/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
goldcaphunter said: So I was on the road today eating a McDonalds cheese burger and drinking a double espresso macchiato from Starbucks (we can see where this is heading).
Next thing I know I'm pulling into the nearest rest stop to use a bathroom. SURPRISE there's only a row of porta potties! 
I run in and miss judge the height of the seat and slam down real hard...then I jerked up because it hurt. Basically when I jumped up I pooped in a projectile fashion and.....I....I pulled a hip muscle 
So what I'm saying is I pulled a muscle pooping....and its not the first time either. I just felt like sharing.
To keep this from getting rule 4d share the most embarrassing/stupid thing you've done while pooping if you think we can stomach it
May this be a lesson, to avoid poop injuries in the future. Pooping is serious people!
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