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Anonymous #1
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Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives
#19076488 - 11/02/13 06:31 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
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dodgem
Learner



Registered: 08/04/11
Posts: 2,683
Last seen: 7 months, 7 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19076508 - 11/02/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
Because they are not completely happy with their relationship.
--------------------
Walk where you like your steps
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076522 - 11/02/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!!
I understand that it is reduced compared to when you're single or just alone at the time.. but the urge or instinct to look at an attractive woman is still there for you in small part? Or is it totally gone? A significant problem in my relationship right now is when I notice other women when I am with my lover. I look at a lot of things out in the world, guys, plants, dogs, cars, women, etc. so it is not all sexual impulse but.. it is causing conflict no less. I wish I weren't as "observant" but a lot of the time it just happens.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 3 days, 14 hours
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076524 - 11/02/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I am going to look for a quote. Some genius explanation for this. I gotta find it. Anyways, people want variety in thier sex lives.Theres no reason behind it except raw horniness. Its pretty sad but desire causes someone to sleep with a girl despite there is a perfectly beautiful girl at home. We always want MORE. More sex, more variety, etc.
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Frizzie
Muskiebanger



Registered: 12/03/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Coral Castle
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076531 - 11/02/13 06:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sad if you ask me. Multiple levels of sadness. Funny how our screwed up society has got us so crosswired to be afraid to speak our minds on an issue as important as this for the fear of being labeled "judgemental".. BULSHIT!
Anytime any of my friends ever revealed something like this I spake my mind. That is the pathway of pain. In all cases I was always congratulated for having the courage to say something, and usually met with a sincere remorse and acknowledgement that they knew it was wrong to be dishonest to their partner and that they wanted to come clean and stop living a lie. Sure I know some people with sexual morals not better than dogs and they usually could care less who they hurt or what diseases they pass around yada yada yada.
How could you not be a friend by giving someone the encouragement to be honest and abandon doglike behavior? How could you not be a friend for having the courage to be a posative voice and an encouragement for good?
This world has got us all mixed up.
Speak your mind, dont be afraid of what you are called or labeled by doing so. Truth needs a voice much more than lies.
Good luck. Frizz
-------------------- What is this place The Truman Show!...
 
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc:
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19078715 - 11/03/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe they're in an open relationship and so their wives/girlfriends are ok with them banging other people
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 2 months, 21 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19078771 - 11/03/13 03:56 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Obviously you are some kind of alien, spent most of your life on another planet?
What your friends are doing is the proof that the concept of monogamy fails in most cases and causes tremendous emotional damages on both sides.
As it was stated above, you are wrong in assuming they are happy with their partners. This is why they do the cheating. The don't lose the urge to look after hot chicks at the mall, like you do. Most people don't, most females don't. If you do so, you are blessed, because you are one of the few human beings who can be pushed into that marriage/fidelity concept without suffering. From a scientific point of view, this is biologically dysfunctional, but I'd love to feel that way, would spare me lots of trouble and rejection by people who can't be honest with themselves or by the lucky minority that truly feels different.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19078774 - 11/03/13 03:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy. If they're modern women doing their own thing then they're most likely cheating on their men too. Monogamy sucks anyway. Its selfish. My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19078782 - 11/03/13 04:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 2 months, 21 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19078788 - 11/03/13 04:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
Even though you might be considerably sarcastic, a very good friend of mine had to leave his girlfriend of 5-6 years a few days ago. Met him at a halloween party this weekend, he was devastated. My girlfriend was with me, she always had a thing for him. So I told him I'm perfectly fine with them having a little fun and they did so.
Afterwards he said it was probably the best sex of his life and there might be benefits to the end of his relationship. I could see he was very happy, so was my girlfriend.
I feel very good about that.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19078825 - 11/03/13 04:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Her husband appreciates her and respects her natural role of mother. He does not help her with baby because she is devoted to and fulfilled by his manliness, husband is not blobbing in front of a screen, but keeping busy with his tools or taking the boys hunting. If he starts doing womanly things like housework she'll be repelled. The home and house front is allot more thankful, rewarding and less stressful than any job. She loves her kids unconditionally and takes their antics in her stride. He takes his sex seriously, keeps is body in top shape and makes passionate love to her everynight. She always eagerly consents to sex. Her man is so strong, she feels very secure and protected, all other men look like little boys with small penises.
Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
Even though you might be considerably sarcastic, a very good friend of mine had to leave his girlfriend of 5-6 years a few days ago. Met him at a halloween party this weekend, he was devastated. My girlfriend was with me, she always had a thing for him. So I told him I'm perfectly fine with them having a little fun and they did so.
Afterwards he said it was probably the best sex of his life and there might be benefits to the end of his relationship. I could see he was very happy, so was my girlfriend.
I feel very good about that.
You and your partner are very good people. I was not being sarcastic at all. I hope to have some good friends one day soon.
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Frizzie
Muskiebanger



Registered: 12/03/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Coral Castle
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19078839 - 11/03/13 05:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I guess I'll have to stand up and be the one rare voice to defend marriage and fidelity.
My wife and I have a beautiful Monogomos relationship. We've been married over seven years and still banging all the time and still madly in love. We have several kids and believe me, although other women still look nice at times, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compares to the real, full, eternally devoted expressions we share. That is our happy place! No one else knows or goes there. We abound in joy happy union free of remorse and free of barriers. Its an all in(no pun intended but definately appropriate)experience!
Believe me there is NOTHING better than the real thing. Sex/Intercourse is symbolic of a complete and total union of souls (Past, present, future, all of ones self is shared and souls become one! To share those symbols and expressions so cheaply with strangers or passing each other around is sad. It is complete and utter chaos and confusion, and it rips peoples hearts apart until there's nothing left. Sharing these symbols of total union but then walking away as if no commitment was ever made is like emotional suicide. When I make and share that symbolic and beautiful expression i mean every bit of it. I'm giving all to her, for now and forever and there is no greater feeling I've ever experienced than to know that is mutually true.
I know there are not many people here who share my views and so be it. I'm sure some will attack me for sharing my mind and my experiences but whatever, I've said the truth. I just want it to be known from someone who has it (The Real Thing). there is Nothing so great, so complete, so fulfilling, so satisfying and edifying than to make and share love in the bonds of complete and total fidelity. I dont have to wonder if there's disease in our relationship, if my children our really mine, if I'm having seconds, or yada yada yada. I think you all get the point. Cal it rare call it unusual but I've found it, and I've worked my but off for it and you know what, I will die a very happy man, surrounded by a family that loves me as well as I love them. Ahh I can see it now, and thats a death worth dying.
Peace you all, Frizz.
-------------------- What is this place The Truman Show!...
 
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CokeNasmilee
BONKERZZZZZ



Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 237
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Frizzie]
#19079042 - 11/03/13 07:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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All relationships should be totally uninhibited and open in my opinion. More often than not in monogamous relationships you find imbalances that are hardly ever equal and lead to built up animosity and spite. My girl doesn't like to swallow (something I will never live without), so she lets me find girls who enjoy it. They do her dirty work for her lol. She is allowed the same freedom as me.
It's a matter of perspective and context. If done with purely physical intentions in mind and with the consent of both parties, I believe it is a beautiful and fulfilling way to live.
If you are pro monogamy, great. The odds are you were raised in such a way that has heavily influenced your perspective to believe such reasoning. That is fine. Again, it is all a matter of perspective.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19079092 - 11/03/13 07:24 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
People cheat because they don't have the capacity for intimate relationships with their partners and they are just plain cowards and liars. It's quite simple but don't be surprised if their wives are up to the same shit.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: CokeNasmilee]
#19079148 - 11/03/13 07:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Her husband appreciates her and respects her natural role of mother. He does not help her with baby because she is devoted to and fulfilled by his manliness, husband is not blobbing in front of a screen, but keeping busy with his tools or taking the boys hunting. If he starts doing womanly things like housework she'll be repelled. The home and house front is allot more thankful, rewarding and less stressful than any job. She loves her kids unconditionally and takes their antics in her stride. He takes his sex seriously, keeps is body in top shape and makes passionate love to her everynight. She always eagerly consents to sex. Her man is so strong, she feels very secure and protected, all other men look like little boys with small penises.
Who the hell are you talking about? I had no idea we were actually talking about a specific person.
Quote:
CokeNasmilee said: All relationships should be totally uninhibited and open in my opinion.
Not all people are into polyamory. Some people feel quite terrible about doing it, even when their partner is right there in front of them and gives the approval. It's not for everybody. Especially relationships that are not secure should ever be involved in polyamory. I'm pro-poly, but an insecure and untrustworthy relationship being open often ends up quite badly.
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CokeNasmilee
BONKERZZZZZ



Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 237
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19079157 - 11/03/13 07:46 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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That is why I said "In my opinion" and "it is all a matter of perspective."
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: CokeNasmilee]
#19079339 - 11/03/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19079793 - 11/03/13 11:02 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Who the hell are you talking about? I had no idea we were actually talking about a specific person.
I'm not talking about a specific person, I described an alternative scenario for a common housewife.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TheWiz]
#19079835 - 11/03/13 11:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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When I am in a relationship and see a hot girl walking down the street.. Its not like I feel like I am repressing any feelings about the hot chick, its more that I have self-control when it comes to looking at other women. When I am dating a girl I am completely content with her and only her. But on the other hand... if I had a girl who wanted to get into a 3-some with another girl, I would do it in a heartbeat!!! There have been times where I REALLY REALLY had to hold back my sexual urges at the time. When I was younger and dating my highschool sweetheart, I had the chance to get in a 3-some with 2 of the hottest damn girls in school!!! The 2 girls were bi and already hooking up, and they both drunk at the time and wanted me very badly. Looking back on it, I kinda feel that I SHOULD have done it... But thats ONLY because the girl I was dating was unfaithful. Even then I had a lot of self-control, because I really respected the girl I was with (even though I had reason not to). Another more recent time was when my best friends girlfriend of over 10 years was hitting on me. Of all the women in the world, this one is by far one of the most attractive girls I have known... Not only because of her looks, but because I always had a crush on her and we got along SO SO well. When I was single for several years at one point, she was hitting on me SO MUCH for at one point in time. My sexual frustration was bursting at the seams(amongst other things).
I just cared about my friendship over getting laid, even though I have not been SO attracted to another human being in my entire life. So I guess these past events tested my limits. I have enough self control to hold in an orgasm! I can have sex all night if the circumstance were to arise. But with this girl, I would probably cum in seconds... Just thinking about her makes me hornier than ever. Sometimes I even try to convince myself that we should just do it... If we both are THAT sexually attracted to each other, then why should we hold back those urges? But with this girl, my friendship with her and my best friend are just WAY too deep to allow that to happen. I can see from his reaction and other peoples reactions when me and this girl are simply talking to each other that he does NOT trust us. Honestly I think he trusts me but not her. She is not a slut or anything... He trusts her going out with her slutty friends to go out dancing without him. But he feel VERY uncomfortable when she is around me.
ARG, I just need a girlfriend!
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Frizzie]
#19079842 - 11/03/13 11:14 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Frizzie said: I guess I'll have to stand up and be the one rare voice to defend marriage and fidelity.
My wife and I have a beautiful Monogomos relationship. We've been married over seven years and still banging all the time and still madly in love. We have several kids and believe me, although other women still look nice at times, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compares to the real, full, eternally devoted expressions we share. That is our happy place! No one else knows or goes there. We abound in joy happy union free of remorse and free of barriers. Its an all in(no pun intended but definately appropriate)experience!
Believe me there is NOTHING better than the real thing. Sex/Intercourse is symbolic of a complete and total union of souls (Past, present, future, all of ones self is shared and souls become one! To share those symbols and expressions so cheaply with strangers or passing each other around is sad. It is complete and utter chaos and confusion, and it rips peoples hearts apart until there's nothing left. Sharing these symbols of total union but then walking away as if no commitment was ever made is like emotional suicide. When I make and share that symbolic and beautiful expression i mean every bit of it. I'm giving all to her, for now and forever and there is no greater feeling I've ever experienced than to know that is mutually true.
I know there are not many people here who share my views and so be it. I'm sure some will attack me for sharing my mind and my experiences but whatever, I've said the truth. I just want it to be known from someone who has it (The Real Thing). there is Nothing so great, so complete, so fulfilling, so satisfying and edifying than to make and share love in the bonds of complete and total fidelity. I dont have to wonder if there's disease in our relationship, if my children our really mine, if I'm having seconds, or yada yada yada. I think you all get the point. Cal it rare call it unusual but I've found it, and I've worked my but off for it and you know what, I will die a very happy man, surrounded by a family that loves me as well as I love them. Ahh I can see it now, and thats a death worth dying.
Peace you all, Frizz.
I absolutely agree, but its not going to happen for me. I'd be better off with 3 to 4 available friends. Non of them living with me. I'm somewhat damned. Cursed. Stupid. Messed up. Losing like a loser with nothing to lose if you know what I mean.
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