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Anonymous #1
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Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives
#19076488 - 11/02/13 06:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
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dodgem
Learner



Registered: 08/04/11
Posts: 2,683
Last seen: 6 months, 13 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19076508 - 11/02/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
Because they are not completely happy with their relationship.
--------------------
Walk where you like your steps
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076522 - 11/02/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!!
I understand that it is reduced compared to when you're single or just alone at the time.. but the urge or instinct to look at an attractive woman is still there for you in small part? Or is it totally gone? A significant problem in my relationship right now is when I notice other women when I am with my lover. I look at a lot of things out in the world, guys, plants, dogs, cars, women, etc. so it is not all sexual impulse but.. it is causing conflict no less. I wish I weren't as "observant" but a lot of the time it just happens.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076524 - 11/02/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I am going to look for a quote. Some genius explanation for this. I gotta find it. Anyways, people want variety in thier sex lives.Theres no reason behind it except raw horniness. Its pretty sad but desire causes someone to sleep with a girl despite there is a perfectly beautiful girl at home. We always want MORE. More sex, more variety, etc.
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Frizzie
Muskiebanger



Registered: 12/03/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Coral Castle
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19076531 - 11/02/13 06:43 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sad if you ask me. Multiple levels of sadness. Funny how our screwed up society has got us so crosswired to be afraid to speak our minds on an issue as important as this for the fear of being labeled "judgemental".. BULSHIT!
Anytime any of my friends ever revealed something like this I spake my mind. That is the pathway of pain. In all cases I was always congratulated for having the courage to say something, and usually met with a sincere remorse and acknowledgement that they knew it was wrong to be dishonest to their partner and that they wanted to come clean and stop living a lie. Sure I know some people with sexual morals not better than dogs and they usually could care less who they hurt or what diseases they pass around yada yada yada.
How could you not be a friend by giving someone the encouragement to be honest and abandon doglike behavior? How could you not be a friend for having the courage to be a posative voice and an encouragement for good?
This world has got us all mixed up.
Speak your mind, dont be afraid of what you are called or labeled by doing so. Truth needs a voice much more than lies.
Good luck. Frizz
-------------------- What is this place The Truman Show!...
 
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc:
Last seen: 1 year, 10 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19078715 - 11/03/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Maybe they're in an open relationship and so their wives/girlfriends are ok with them banging other people
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19078771 - 11/03/13 03:56 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Obviously you are some kind of alien, spent most of your life on another planet?
What your friends are doing is the proof that the concept of monogamy fails in most cases and causes tremendous emotional damages on both sides.
As it was stated above, you are wrong in assuming they are happy with their partners. This is why they do the cheating. The don't lose the urge to look after hot chicks at the mall, like you do. Most people don't, most females don't. If you do so, you are blessed, because you are one of the few human beings who can be pushed into that marriage/fidelity concept without suffering. From a scientific point of view, this is biologically dysfunctional, but I'd love to feel that way, would spare me lots of trouble and rejection by people who can't be honest with themselves or by the lucky minority that truly feels different.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19078774 - 11/03/13 03:58 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy. If they're modern women doing their own thing then they're most likely cheating on their men too. Monogamy sucks anyway. Its selfish. My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19078782 - 11/03/13 04:07 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19078788 - 11/03/13 04:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
Even though you might be considerably sarcastic, a very good friend of mine had to leave his girlfriend of 5-6 years a few days ago. Met him at a halloween party this weekend, he was devastated. My girlfriend was with me, she always had a thing for him. So I told him I'm perfectly fine with them having a little fun and they did so.
Afterwards he said it was probably the best sex of his life and there might be benefits to the end of his relationship. I could see he was very happy, so was my girlfriend.
I feel very good about that.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19078825 - 11/03/13 04:49 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Her husband appreciates her and respects her natural role of mother. He does not help her with baby because she is devoted to and fulfilled by his manliness, husband is not blobbing in front of a screen, but keeping busy with his tools or taking the boys hunting. If he starts doing womanly things like housework she'll be repelled. The home and house front is allot more thankful, rewarding and less stressful than any job. She loves her kids unconditionally and takes their antics in her stride. He takes his sex seriously, keeps is body in top shape and makes passionate love to her everynight. She always eagerly consents to sex. Her man is so strong, she feels very secure and protected, all other men look like little boys with small penises.
Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: My friends should share their women with me. They know I'm not getting laid and their women want to fuck me, but they just don't have that level of generosity.
Even though you might be considerably sarcastic, a very good friend of mine had to leave his girlfriend of 5-6 years a few days ago. Met him at a halloween party this weekend, he was devastated. My girlfriend was with me, she always had a thing for him. So I told him I'm perfectly fine with them having a little fun and they did so.
Afterwards he said it was probably the best sex of his life and there might be benefits to the end of his relationship. I could see he was very happy, so was my girlfriend.
I feel very good about that.
You and your partner are very good people. I was not being sarcastic at all. I hope to have some good friends one day soon.
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Frizzie
Muskiebanger



Registered: 12/03/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Coral Castle
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19078839 - 11/03/13 05:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I guess I'll have to stand up and be the one rare voice to defend marriage and fidelity.
My wife and I have a beautiful Monogomos relationship. We've been married over seven years and still banging all the time and still madly in love. We have several kids and believe me, although other women still look nice at times, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compares to the real, full, eternally devoted expressions we share. That is our happy place! No one else knows or goes there. We abound in joy happy union free of remorse and free of barriers. Its an all in(no pun intended but definately appropriate)experience!
Believe me there is NOTHING better than the real thing. Sex/Intercourse is symbolic of a complete and total union of souls (Past, present, future, all of ones self is shared and souls become one! To share those symbols and expressions so cheaply with strangers or passing each other around is sad. It is complete and utter chaos and confusion, and it rips peoples hearts apart until there's nothing left. Sharing these symbols of total union but then walking away as if no commitment was ever made is like emotional suicide. When I make and share that symbolic and beautiful expression i mean every bit of it. I'm giving all to her, for now and forever and there is no greater feeling I've ever experienced than to know that is mutually true.
I know there are not many people here who share my views and so be it. I'm sure some will attack me for sharing my mind and my experiences but whatever, I've said the truth. I just want it to be known from someone who has it (The Real Thing). there is Nothing so great, so complete, so fulfilling, so satisfying and edifying than to make and share love in the bonds of complete and total fidelity. I dont have to wonder if there's disease in our relationship, if my children our really mine, if I'm having seconds, or yada yada yada. I think you all get the point. Cal it rare call it unusual but I've found it, and I've worked my but off for it and you know what, I will die a very happy man, surrounded by a family that loves me as well as I love them. Ahh I can see it now, and thats a death worth dying.
Peace you all, Frizz.
-------------------- What is this place The Truman Show!...
 
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CokeNasmilee
BONKERZZZZZ



Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 237
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Frizzie]
#19079042 - 11/03/13 07:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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All relationships should be totally uninhibited and open in my opinion. More often than not in monogamous relationships you find imbalances that are hardly ever equal and lead to built up animosity and spite. My girl doesn't like to swallow (something I will never live without), so she lets me find girls who enjoy it. They do her dirty work for her lol. She is allowed the same freedom as me.
It's a matter of perspective and context. If done with purely physical intentions in mind and with the consent of both parties, I believe it is a beautiful and fulfilling way to live.
If you are pro monogamy, great. The odds are you were raised in such a way that has heavily influenced your perspective to believe such reasoning. That is fine. Again, it is all a matter of perspective.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19079092 - 11/03/13 07:24 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So I was gettin drunk with one of my closest friends... We dont see each other as much anymore ever since I moved. Hes been happily dating this girl for 2-3 years now and he told me how there is an Asian girl on the side that he screws! Hes known this Asian girl for 5-6 years now and they have been screwing around ever since... I also found out that my OTHER close friend had sex with multiple women... and hes MARRIED!!! I didnt want to tell my friend, but I found this slightly disturbing. I am not judgmental, I was just VERY surprised to hear this. Im am the type of guy that if I am dating a girl, I would NOT have sex with another girl. Even the urge to look at a hot chick who walks by just dissipates when Im with someone I love!!! Im no innocent person... But when it comes to cheating, thats a line I would NEVER EVER cross. Both of my friends have very nice partners, they love their GF/wives and sex is not an issue.
I just do not see why they cheat, I guess its a difference of opinion? It just makes me think that it gives guys a bad reputation! In a million years, I would never guess that either of them would do this!
So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships? I once had sex with one of my friends girlfriends...For years the guilt I had from that TORE ME APART, and I wasnt even the one who cheated on anybody... So Im not perfect! And thats why I do not look down upon my friends for cheating on their women... I just have no clue as to WHY.
Can anyone shed some light on the situation?
People cheat because they don't have the capacity for intimate relationships with their partners and they are just plain cowards and liars. It's quite simple but don't be surprised if their wives are up to the same shit.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: CokeNasmilee]
#19079148 - 11/03/13 07:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Her husband appreciates her and respects her natural role of mother. He does not help her with baby because she is devoted to and fulfilled by his manliness, husband is not blobbing in front of a screen, but keeping busy with his tools or taking the boys hunting. If he starts doing womanly things like housework she'll be repelled. The home and house front is allot more thankful, rewarding and less stressful than any job. She loves her kids unconditionally and takes their antics in her stride. He takes his sex seriously, keeps is body in top shape and makes passionate love to her everynight. She always eagerly consents to sex. Her man is so strong, she feels very secure and protected, all other men look like little boys with small penises.
Who the hell are you talking about? I had no idea we were actually talking about a specific person.
Quote:
CokeNasmilee said: All relationships should be totally uninhibited and open in my opinion.
Not all people are into polyamory. Some people feel quite terrible about doing it, even when their partner is right there in front of them and gives the approval. It's not for everybody. Especially relationships that are not secure should ever be involved in polyamory. I'm pro-poly, but an insecure and untrustworthy relationship being open often ends up quite badly.
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CokeNasmilee
BONKERZZZZZ



Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 237
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19079157 - 11/03/13 07:46 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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That is why I said "In my opinion" and "it is all a matter of perspective."
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: CokeNasmilee]
#19079339 - 11/03/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19079793 - 11/03/13 11:02 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Who the hell are you talking about? I had no idea we were actually talking about a specific person.
I'm not talking about a specific person, I described an alternative scenario for a common housewife.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TheWiz]
#19079835 - 11/03/13 11:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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When I am in a relationship and see a hot girl walking down the street.. Its not like I feel like I am repressing any feelings about the hot chick, its more that I have self-control when it comes to looking at other women. When I am dating a girl I am completely content with her and only her. But on the other hand... if I had a girl who wanted to get into a 3-some with another girl, I would do it in a heartbeat!!! There have been times where I REALLY REALLY had to hold back my sexual urges at the time. When I was younger and dating my highschool sweetheart, I had the chance to get in a 3-some with 2 of the hottest damn girls in school!!! The 2 girls were bi and already hooking up, and they both drunk at the time and wanted me very badly. Looking back on it, I kinda feel that I SHOULD have done it... But thats ONLY because the girl I was dating was unfaithful. Even then I had a lot of self-control, because I really respected the girl I was with (even though I had reason not to). Another more recent time was when my best friends girlfriend of over 10 years was hitting on me. Of all the women in the world, this one is by far one of the most attractive girls I have known... Not only because of her looks, but because I always had a crush on her and we got along SO SO well. When I was single for several years at one point, she was hitting on me SO MUCH for at one point in time. My sexual frustration was bursting at the seams(amongst other things).
I just cared about my friendship over getting laid, even though I have not been SO attracted to another human being in my entire life. So I guess these past events tested my limits. I have enough self control to hold in an orgasm! I can have sex all night if the circumstance were to arise. But with this girl, I would probably cum in seconds... Just thinking about her makes me hornier than ever. Sometimes I even try to convince myself that we should just do it... If we both are THAT sexually attracted to each other, then why should we hold back those urges? But with this girl, my friendship with her and my best friend are just WAY too deep to allow that to happen. I can see from his reaction and other peoples reactions when me and this girl are simply talking to each other that he does NOT trust us. Honestly I think he trusts me but not her. She is not a slut or anything... He trusts her going out with her slutty friends to go out dancing without him. But he feel VERY uncomfortable when she is around me.
ARG, I just need a girlfriend!
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Frizzie]
#19079842 - 11/03/13 11:14 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Frizzie said: I guess I'll have to stand up and be the one rare voice to defend marriage and fidelity.
My wife and I have a beautiful Monogomos relationship. We've been married over seven years and still banging all the time and still madly in love. We have several kids and believe me, although other women still look nice at times, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compares to the real, full, eternally devoted expressions we share. That is our happy place! No one else knows or goes there. We abound in joy happy union free of remorse and free of barriers. Its an all in(no pun intended but definately appropriate)experience!
Believe me there is NOTHING better than the real thing. Sex/Intercourse is symbolic of a complete and total union of souls (Past, present, future, all of ones self is shared and souls become one! To share those symbols and expressions so cheaply with strangers or passing each other around is sad. It is complete and utter chaos and confusion, and it rips peoples hearts apart until there's nothing left. Sharing these symbols of total union but then walking away as if no commitment was ever made is like emotional suicide. When I make and share that symbolic and beautiful expression i mean every bit of it. I'm giving all to her, for now and forever and there is no greater feeling I've ever experienced than to know that is mutually true.
I know there are not many people here who share my views and so be it. I'm sure some will attack me for sharing my mind and my experiences but whatever, I've said the truth. I just want it to be known from someone who has it (The Real Thing). there is Nothing so great, so complete, so fulfilling, so satisfying and edifying than to make and share love in the bonds of complete and total fidelity. I dont have to wonder if there's disease in our relationship, if my children our really mine, if I'm having seconds, or yada yada yada. I think you all get the point. Cal it rare call it unusual but I've found it, and I've worked my but off for it and you know what, I will die a very happy man, surrounded by a family that loves me as well as I love them. Ahh I can see it now, and thats a death worth dying.
Peace you all, Frizz.
I absolutely agree, but its not going to happen for me. I'd be better off with 3 to 4 available friends. Non of them living with me. I'm somewhat damned. Cursed. Stupid. Messed up. Losing like a loser with nothing to lose if you know what I mean.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19079903 - 11/03/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Obviously you are some kind of alien, spent most of your life on another planet?
Wait. More likely he was raised by his mother and the usual retarded western institutions and no intelligent father figure.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19080102 - 11/03/13 12:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Dude holy shit. When you paint it out like that. I mean, western intitution of marriage pretty much inclines housewifes for affairs
Thats really sad
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TheWiz]
#19081621 - 11/03/13 05:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheWiz said: I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
I agree monogamy is kinda silly when it comes down to it, but the real issue is trust. If you want to have sex with many people then great, just don't take someone along for the ride who isn't interested in that. You're only hurting them
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: topdog82]
#19081628 - 11/03/13 05:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have no delusions about ever being monogamous long term. My whole plan relies on finding a nice girl that will have the same taste in women that I do, so that we can bring some nice young guest into the bedroom to play with once in a while. I'm pretty sure it's the only way I'll ever stick with the same person for all those decades.
If that doesn't work, then endless chain of new women it is
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TheWiz]
#19081787 - 11/03/13 06:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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TheWiz said: I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
I'm on the "one love" bandwagon. IMO, polygamy is a farce to begin with.
Wait a minute, everyone is different. Neither are a farce. Certain people prefer one while others people prefer the other. Others prefer neither. It's as simple as that.
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Atrium
Cunt Tickler

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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19082052 - 11/03/13 07:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore
I think the only women who should feel that way ARE fat unlovable women who are no longer attractive. But then why the fuck did you marry a girl who wouldn't take care of herself after a few years or is unlovable in the first place?
Shit I don't know, it's just the women I have had the pleasure of giving all of my attention to, for the short time I've been alive, seem to then have an affixed gaze for me only from thereon out. Infidelity does not then come to mind but I'd rather entirely break it off than break a heart.
-------------------- The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it. The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry.
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JacksonMetaller
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19082670 - 11/03/13 09:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
TheWiz said: I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
I'm on the "one love" bandwagon. IMO, polygamy is a farce to begin with.
Wait a minute, everyone is different. Neither are a farce. Certain people prefer one while others people prefer the other. Others prefer neither. It's as simple as that.
Yes, but it's true that our perception of monogamy is ridiculous. Society tends to view it as it is the "way things should be" rather than accepting both roads. I believe that if two people are drawn together in a way that they don't want to share that love with others, that's fantastic. But if two people still find themselves sharing feelings with others then why bother? It would be healthier for them to acknowledge that and be okay with it. But there's too much pressure to just break up with the person now rather than accept a sort of open relationship. So in the end, love gets wasted and both parties end up butt hurt
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: JacksonMetaller]
#19082794 - 11/03/13 09:35 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
JacksonMetaller said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
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TheWiz said: I'm on the "free love" bandwagon. IMO, monogamy is a farce to begin with.
I'm on the "one love" bandwagon. IMO, polygamy is a farce to begin with.
Wait a minute, everyone is different. Neither are a farce. Certain people prefer one while others people prefer the other. Others prefer neither. It's as simple as that.
Yes, but it's true that our perception of monogamy is ridiculous. Society tends to view it as it is the "way things should be" rather than accepting both roads. I believe that if two people are drawn together in a way that they don't want to share that love with others, that's fantastic. But if two people still find themselves sharing feelings with others then why bother? It would be healthier for them to acknowledge that and be okay with it. But there's too much pressure to just break up with the person now rather than accept a sort of open relationship. So in the end, love gets wasted and both parties end up butt hurt
Perhaps. I don't really think the issue is with society though. Personally I have no desire to be in a polyamorous / open relationship. That is the case for the vast majority of people. Sure, some people are not accepting of polyamorous relationships, but some people are also not accepting of homosexuality. I think the percentage of people who are into the idea of polyamory is similar to the percentage of people who are homosexual. In other words, they are a minority. Now you could argue that the beliefs are pushed onto people due to society and culture, and while that may be true, the fact of the matter is it is how most people feel.
The issue in your scenario most of the time I believe is due to both partners not being on the same page about their desires (ie one wants an open relationship whereas the other does not), not that polyamory is not accepted.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19084501 - 11/04/13 08:34 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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pwnasaurus said: I think the percentage of people who are into the idea of polyamory is similar to the percentage of people who are homosexual. In other words, they are a minority. Now you could argue that the beliefs are pushed onto people due to society and culture, and while that may be true, the fact of the matter is it is how most people feel.
There is a thing called tradition. It forces people to stick to really stupid behaviour for decades no matter the what the majority actually thinks. I think you are wrong.
But your comparison to homosexuality has a good point: most people are afraid to say what they really feel because of tradition and the following repression.
Being able to happily stick to one partner for a lifetime is being successfully fucked in the head by western society - in a most enjoyable way with no reason to change that. For sure, most people are not that lucky and still follow the only sense in life: spreading their genes as widely as possible.
I wouldn't need one second to choose one of the two paths. If only there were open to me.
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deadwk
00101011


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Loc: Canada, eh?
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19085701 - 11/04/13 02:35 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So everytime I hear people talk about polyamory and monogamous relationships, the people advocating polyamory always say monogamy is some ideology forced upon us by society, and that the people in monogamous relationships are doomed forever. Then they end their posts by saying "it's just opinion and perspective though"
But they always criticize other people for being monogamous and acting as if they are enduring some terrible plague, which is ironic because they say "It's just opinion and perspective though" anyone else find that ironic? anyways....
If polaymory works for you, great! If monogamy works for you, great! It's just about finding what works. IMO I think that people in a polyamorous relationship can be in love, but I feel like there are some underlying perosnality traits in both parties making them behave in a polyamorous way.
People say monogamy creates tensions between people, but polyamory does as well. What if one partner is havign sex with others more so than the other partner.
What if one partner wants to have sex with the other, but the other partner decided to bang a different person that day?
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Thayendanegea
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19085882 - 11/04/13 03:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So why do people cheat on their partners if they are completely happy with their relationships?
Because, in most cases, they are insecure about themselves in some way and use fucking around as some sort of validation of their manhood. It is simply a "conquest" and once the act is complete, guilt usually takes over.
To me, there is very little "peace of mind" in this behavior...and, I am speaking from a perspective of one who has lived this way. M
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: deadwk]
#19088670 - 11/05/13 04:49 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Try getting your expressions together, monogamy comes from gamos, greek for marriage. That's different from monoandry/monogyny.
There is also a huge difference between having sex with other people than your partner once in a while (polygyny/andry) and polyamory.
I don't think polyamory will ever work for me. I want to be as close as possible to one certain person, without making the mistakes of ignoring my/our urges. So polygyny works like a charm for me.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: topdog82]
#19089058 - 11/05/13 08:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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topdog82 said:
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Crystal G said:
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usulpsychonaut said: So these women that are being cheated on, do they stay home, keep the house clean, raise kids, cook food for family, never go out drinking at all ever? This I think is the other side of monogamy.
I actually think the common housewife would be more prone to cheating, wouldn't you? I mean think about it. She's at home all the time, probably bored out of her mind doing thankless tasks, and if she has toddlers at home they are probably stressing her out and making her life hell. Then her husband comes home and doesn't pay any single attention to her and doesn't help her at all with the baby and doesn't appreciate her. She probably feels like the fat unlovable housewife that's always being taken for granted and is no longer attractive to her husband anymore. There's no romance in her life. Women in this situation would be inclined to seek love and attention from a third party. At least that's my assessment of the situation.
Dude holy shit. When you paint it out like that. I mean, western institution of marriage pretty much inclines housewife's for affairs
Thats really sad 
Hey what the hell is so bad about being a fucking house wife and what the fuck is so common about it? Crystal G is a damned fine individual, a fun hellbetty making pleasure but she has no right to run down a woman's natural function. True feminism would empower a woman's role, not masculize the female and emasculate the male. Whats bad about being a housewife is the government anti women policies attacking the family with schools and women being forced to work. The state steals the children into brainwashing programs and forces women into unemployment and shitty demeaning jobs that drive them to drink. This is fully supported by so called feminism. Seems to me that feminists really hate women. The problem is to do with politically minded people being psychopaths. Psychopath women are inventing psychotic social engineering projects and inflicting them on society. This social engineering is working, everyone is too pussy whipped to stand up to the corruption.
True pro women policies, pro child policies, pro happy family policies would only give benefits to the most rewarding, privileged, important, sacred, spiritual point of being a woman - motherhood.
I propose a smorgasbord of financial, health and housing rewards for fidelity, the ideal number of children, home schooling and stay home mum, yay. The happiest old women have grandchildren, that have food, harmony and a mum and dad. The happiest old women are content with the memories of family, children being children, men being men, women being women, life being life, food, celebration, tragedy.
Women who go out drinking are not monogamous. At least they lay their fidelity on the line. Alcohol is a seriously hard drug. Consciously or subconsciously people go to bars to get to engage in procreating activities.
Personally I'm going to get me some fuck mates. Not everyone is up to the task of high culture. I'll play folk guitar at your weddings.
Edited by usulpsychonaut (11/05/13 08:45 AM)
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19089174 - 11/05/13 09:22 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Hey what the hell is so bad about being a fucking house wife and what the fuck is so common about it? Crystal G is a damned fine individual, a fun hellbetty making pleasure but she has no right to run down a woman's natural function. True feminism would empower a woman's role, not masculize the female and emasculate the male. Whats bad about being a housewife is the government anti women policies attacking the family with schools and women being forced to work. The state steals the children into brainwashing programs and forces women into unemployment and shitty demeaning jobs that drive them to drink. This is fully supported by so called feminism. Seems to me that feminists really hate women. The problem is to do with politically minded people being psychopaths. Psychopath women are inventing psychotic social engineering projects and inflicting them on society. This social engineering is working, everyone is too pussy whipped to stand up to the corruption.
True pro women policies, pro child policies, pro happy family policies would only give benefits to the most rewarding, privileged, important, sacred, spiritual point of being a woman - motherhood.
I propose a smorgasbord of financial, health and housing rewards for fidelity, the ideal number of children, home schooling and stay home mum, yay. The happiest old women have grandchildren, that have food, harmony and a mum and dad. The happiest old women are content with the memories of family, children being children, men being men, women being women, life being life, food, celebration, tragedy.
Women who go out drinking are not monogamous. At least they lay their fidelity on the line. Alcohol is a seriously hard drug. Consciously or subconsciously people go to bars to get to engage in procreating activities.
Personally I'm going to get me some fuck mates. Not everyone is up to the task of high culture. I'll play folk guitar at your weddings.

That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19089674 - 11/05/13 11:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Lets break it down;
A mother keeping a home is a dignified role, she can be happy and proud. Crystal G is a damned fine individual. Feminism should empower women to be women. Governments force kids into school and mothers into work, this is bad. Jobs suck, the stay at home role is a real privilege. Politicians are psychopaths. Empowering women can only mean supporting a natural feminine roll. Drinking is unpredictable, a monogamous woman has no business going out and drinking. Husbands who think their wives can do this and never screw up are deluded. Procreation is the underlying intention behind all human activity. I don't have what it takes to be a family man, this requires strength and Honor.
I don't see anything ridiculous about any of this.
Edited by usulpsychonaut (11/05/13 11:54 AM)
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19089796 - 11/05/13 12:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I don't see anything ridiculous about any of this.
You've gotta be kidding me. You're making so many absurd assumptions it's actually mind-blowing.
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A mother keeping a home is a dignified role, she can be happy and proud.
Sure. Working can be a dignified role too. What are you trying to say?
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Crystal G is a damned fine individual.
How is that even remotely relevant to this thread?
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Feminism should empower women to be women.
By definition, feminism seeks to empower women as equal human beings
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Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.[1][2] This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women.[3]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism
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Governments force kids into school and mothers into work, this is bad.
The government absolutely does not force mothers into work. Women are human beings who get to decide whether or not they want to work. I would argue that forcing children to go to school is a good idea, although that is a debatable point. Even if your statement were true, how is this bad? You somehow jump from a (false) assertion to a conclusion with no argument.
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Jobs suck, the stay at home role is a real privilege.
That is another assumption. Many people enjoy their jobs. Many people dislike children. Many people don't have children.
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Politicians are psychopaths.
Really, politicians are generally psychopaths? Please provide me with the evidence that most politicians are psychopaths.
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Empowering women can only mean supporting a natural feminine roll.
What are you even saying? This is ridiculously sexist.
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Drinking is unpredictable, a monogamous woman has no business going out and drinking. Husbands who think their wives can do this and never screw up are deluded.
I have never cheated on a partner nor will I. I've also never started a fight in my life. I have been very drunk many times. Some people cheat. Some people are assholes. Only weak-minded individuals blame something else for their decisions. And how about a monogamous man? I guess it's fine for him to drink, because he's leading the "natural masculine roll" 
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Procreation is the underlying intention behind all human activity.
This may have been true hundreds of years ago but we have evolved far beyond that now. While it still may be true for some people it is an absurd claim that procreation is the underlying intention behind ALL human activity.
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I don't have what it takes to be a family man, this requires strength and Honor.
This one may well be true. I don't know you, so I will have to take your word for it. At least you made one irrefutable assertion.
So, "breaking it down", that was one of the most ridiculous, sexist posts full of assumptions I have ever read.
Edited by pwnasaurus (11/05/13 12:18 PM)
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Cubedude
Strange

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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19089838 - 11/05/13 12:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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My wife and I are in an open relationship. That is we can sleep with other people if we want, when we want. Only rules are we tell each other about it ahead of time, no mutual friends or coworkers, and use every precaution to prevent STDs. Funny thing is, we have been very happily married for six years, jealousy free, disease free. And our sex life together is great. There is no suspicion, no checkup phone calls or facebook stalking. Humans, like most animals, were never meant to be monogamous creatures. Our very biology urges us on to promiscuity and the sooner we recognize this the happier and more fulfilled lives we can lead.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19089889 - 11/05/13 12:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: a monogamous woman has no business going out and drinking
This for example is an extremely sexist statement. Calling this feminism is indeed ridiculous.
So basically you say, society should force individuals born with 2 X genes into staying at home, no matter what kind of life they wanna live.
You're a sexist and you do not understand the concept of equality at all. It's about becoming who you want to become and not being pushed into a role.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19091549 - 11/05/13 06:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Lets break it down;
A mother keeping a home is a dignified role, she can be happy and proud.
First of all, feminists also believe that being a mother and a housewife is a dignified role, that it is a role that society devalues and does not appreciate. It is however, also about the CHOICE to become a mother and a housewife. When you get women who never wanted to become mothers and secretly hate their children, that's when you end up getting moms who drown all 5 kids of their kids in the lake for insurance money.
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Drinking is unpredictable, a monogamous woman has no business going out and drinking. Husbands who think their wives can do this and never screw up are deluded.
Couldn't you say that drinking is unpredictable for EVERYBODY, and that men are inclined to cheat just as well as women when they are inebriated? I've seen tons of drunk guys at the strip clubs trying to pay women a extra bills to get them to meet in a hotel room later. Would they have done the same thing sober? Maybe some, but certainly not all.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19091609 - 11/05/13 06:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: a monogamous woman has no business going out and drinking
This for example is an extremely sexist statement. Calling this feminism is indeed ridiculous.
So basically you say, society should force individuals born with 2 X genes into staying at home, no matter what kind of life they wanna live.
You're a sexist and you do not understand the concept of equality at all. It's about becoming who you want to become and not being pushed into a role.
Exactly. Not to mention, a lot of guys in contemporary society don't WANT to financially support their wives all their lives. I've met guys (mostly younger guys) who would resent their wives if they had to be the sole financial supporter. Many guys also resent alimony when divorce comes, and the fact that they have to pay their wives EVEN THOUGH she depended on him financially and gave up her career to start a home with her husband.
Now, I personally wouldn't marry somebody like that, because what if I have a stroke or something in the future, are they going to treat me like shit while I'm immobilized because they resent having to take care of me? Or what if we have children and I have to stay at home, it just makes me think that somebody who has that type of greedy and selfish nature would resent his own wife and children for draining his money.
But regardless, I've met many men who complained that their live-in girlfriends or wives didn't work, and complained about the fact that they had to pay the rent. It's not something that makes both sexes happy necessarily.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19093178 - 11/05/13 11:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't give a shit what women hating feminists believe. I've got my own ideas about what real feminism is, somewhat inspired by Eva Perón's feminist manifesto's. I've been working on being more sexist. I've actually got a long way to go. That equality shit I was indoctrinated with fucked me up. Yeah anyone taking their fidelity seriously would abstain from drinking, I originally asked the OP if these women who are apparently being cheated on go out drinking, asserting that if they do then they are not taking fidelity too seriously anyway...
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19093327 - 11/05/13 11:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I don't give a shit what women hating feminists believe. I've got my own ideas about what real feminism is, somewhat inspired by Eva Perón's feminist manifesto's. I've been working on being more sexist. I've actually got a long way to go. That equality shit I was indoctrinated with fucked me up. Yeah anyone taking their fidelity seriously would abstain from drinking, I originally asked the OP if these women who are apparently being cheated on go out drinking, asserting that if they do then they are not taking fidelity too seriously anyway...
Wow. You have a sick, twisted, pathetic, and disgusting outlook on life.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19093337 - 11/05/13 11:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I don't give a shit what women hating feminists believe. I've got my own ideas about what real feminism is, somewhat inspired by Eva Perón's feminist manifesto's. I've been working on being more sexist. I've actually got a long way to go. That equality shit I was indoctrinated with fucked me up.
So, let me get this straight....... you think being taught about equality is what "fucked you up," and that turning into a sexist womanizer is what's going to "cure" whatever's wrong with you? 
...you don't have to be a psychologist to know how this one's going to end up. 
Reminds me of people who abuse other animals, children, and people to alleviate whatever inner turmoil they are going through. What they don't yet realize at the time, is that no matter how many living things they incur suffering upon, and no matter how much abuse they have inflicted, they will never feel complete. Something will always feel missing in their life, and it's not difficult to see why.
I get the feeling that you are somebody with no real power in society. You are probably blue-collar, or don't make very much money, and have almost no social or economic status in society.
Edited by Crystal G (11/06/13 12:21 AM)
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Frizzie
Muskiebanger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: deadwk]
#19093620 - 11/06/13 01:18 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
thedeadwalkk said:
...the people advocating polyamory always say monogamy is some ideology forced upon us by society, and that the people in monogamous relationships are doomed forever. Then they end their posts by saying "it's just opinion and perspective though"
But they always criticize other people for being monogamous and acting as if they are enduring some terrible plague, which is ironic because they say "It's just opinion and perspective though" anyone else find that ironic? anyways....
...People say monogamy creates tensions between people, but polyamory does as well. What if one partner is havign sex with others more so than the other partner.
What if one partner wants to have sex with the other, but the other partner decided to bang a different person that day?
I found this hilariously ironically true as well! I love how people attack goog strong, age proven princaples and insult them with the same ideology and evidence that has already proved thier opinion false...
Good way to illustrate what I couldnt or didnt have the energy to do..
Peace
-------------------- What is this place The Truman Show!...
 
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Frizzie]
#19093759 - 11/06/13 02:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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There's a fundamental difference I've found between polyamorous and monogamous people. I've found that monogamous people tend to be people who feel jealousy and territorial for those who they feel affection towards, and quite strongly I might add. People who are polyamorous, find it very difficult to get jealous when they watch their partners having extramarital sexual affairs.
I've also dated married men who have said that they feel the exact same way, that they personally have never felt jealous about their wife hooking up or having an affair with whoever. The way I see it, the person you marry is not necessarily your true love. The person that you marry is somebody that you select to be a good father and a supportive partner. He is somebody that you raise children with. They may do all these things wonderfully without necessarily being your TRUE love, or even somebody that you love at all.
I believe that I fall more into the polyamorous category. In any of my past relationships I have been in, I am certain I would have felt absolutely no jealousy if I were to find out my partner had been cheating. I've never been cheated on, that I know of, and a big part of that is because I never bothered to care whether to dig deep enough and find out if they had. I'm certain if I was the jealous type, I would have been going through their phone or their Facebook or their web history accounts and would have dug something up. Truth is, it simply wouldn't bother me if they were.
My biggest fantasy is to get married and have an affair with the sexy underaged poolboy.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19093913 - 11/06/13 03:24 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: anyone taking their fidelity seriously would abstain from drinking
anyone taking their fidelity seriously would simply not fuck other people and absolutely nothing else.
You are hilariously confused.
Edit: something I wanted to stress is that polyAMORY is about LOVE, that means having a relationship + an affair does not have to be polyamory, and I suppose in most cases it really isn't!
And by the way, I've never felt more than a tiny touch of jealousy. But I think that greatly depends on how you value yourself and how needy you are in social concerns.
Edited by Murzelpfrumpft (11/06/13 03:29 AM)
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19095561 - 11/06/13 02:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
The way I see it, the person you marry is not necessarily your true love. The person that you marry is somebody that you select to be a good father and a supportive partner. He is somebody that you raise children with. They may do all these things wonderfully without necessarily being your TRUE love, or even somebody that you love at all.
Love is just an idea. There is no such thing as a "true love".
It's all just a bunch of chemical reactions and under the right conditions, these reactions can be stimulated by just about anybody.
When I hear people talking about finding "true love" - I can't help but think about junkies chasing after their next high!
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19095597 - 11/06/13 02:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: anyone taking their fidelity seriously would abstain from drinking
anyone taking their fidelity seriously would simply not fuck other people and absolutely nothing else.
You are hilariously confused.
You are right. I've always been so completely and utterly confused about everything and I still am. Yeah they simply would not fuck other people.
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: I don't give a shit what women hating feminists believe. I've got my own ideas about what real feminism is, somewhat inspired by Eva Perón's feminist manifesto's. I've been working on being more sexist. I've actually got a long way to go. That equality shit I was indoctrinated with fucked me up.
So, let me get this straight....... you think being taught about equality is what "fucked you up," and that turning into a sexist womanizer is what's going to "cure" whatever's wrong with you? 
...you don't have to be a psychologist to know how this one's going to end up. 
Reminds me of people who abuse other animals, children, and people to alleviate whatever inner turmoil they are going through. What they don't yet realize at the time, is that no matter how many living things they incur suffering upon, and no matter how much abuse they have inflicted, they will never feel complete. Something will always feel missing in their life, and it's not difficult to see why.
I get the feeling that you are somebody with no real power in society. You are probably blue-collar, or don't make very much money, and have almost no social or economic status in society.
I do make it fucking obvious that I am powerless, poor and in a down position. My inner workings to become more sexist have nothing to do with hurting anyone, rather to bring pleasure and balance into my reality. I love reading books on psychology, these have helped me see that I need to develop my sexism.
I am not really making any assumptions here on this thread. I just put words together that outline some conservative traditionalist views, this is funny, cause I'm stoned and having a rocking raging time. Sure part of my down position is that I'm still not getting laid either, but this is due to my total lack of sexism. I can't even flirt yet. Things are actually looking up. As in I've figured out an angle for meeting women, I just need to stop being so slow and polite (too polite, not sexist enough to make her react), my stoic, cool and emotionless presence keeps everyone at a distance.
I feel that Crystal G presented an assumption that all stay at home mothers would be unappreciated, common, bored and discontent with their lot. I simply outlined a different way of looking at it. Is there really a right and wrong here?
Picking on someone for being low social status and powerless... sexist bad, classist good? Fucking hypocrit.
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Irfan
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19095638 - 11/06/13 02:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: I've also dated married men who have said that they feel the exact same way, that they personally have never felt jealous about their wife hooking up or having an affair with whoever. The way I see it, the person you marry is not necessarily your true love. The person that you marry is somebody that you select to be a good father and a supportive partner. He is somebody that you raise children with. They may do all these things wonderfully without necessarily being your TRUE love, or even somebody that you love at all. :
I don't really see a correlation between lack of jealousy and the idea of "true love". The way i interpret this paragraph is to say that if they had married their "true-love" they would get jealous?
I fall into the poly category as well, and as I get older my thoughts on the subject only become more pronounced and passionate. I also have a lot of trouble experiencing jealousy but I haven't always been that way. I just never saw anything good come out of the emotion so I quit participating. Now its hard for me to remember what it feels like, but i remember it feeling like kind of desperate and panicky.
I sleep with a variety of people but I do feel like i am with the true love of my life. I refer to her as my partner because we make an excellent partnership for many reasons, but that in no way makes me want to control her, I still don't experience jealousy when she is sleeping in someone elses bed.. But that's not to say i don't love her with all my heart.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19096949 - 11/06/13 06:40 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. Material said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
The way I see it, the person you marry is not necessarily your true love. The person that you marry is somebody that you select to be a good father and a supportive partner. He is somebody that you raise children with. They may do all these things wonderfully without necessarily being your TRUE love, or even somebody that you love at all.
Love is just an idea. There is no such thing as a "true love".
It's all just a bunch of chemical reactions and under the right conditions, these reactions can be stimulated by just about anybody.
When I hear people talking about finding "true love" - I can't help but think about junkies chasing after their next high! 
Certainly, it is a chemical reaction, but these reactions cannot simply be stimulated by just about anybody. It's actually quite rare to find somebody you are PASSIONATELY in love with, as opposed to feeling secure because they are a dependable guy. Again, chemistry easily explains this.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19096962 - 11/06/13 06:43 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: I do make it fucking obvious that I am powerless, poor and in a down position. My inner workings to become more sexist have nothing to do with hurting anyone, rather to bring pleasure and balance into my reality. I love reading books on psychology, these have helped me see that I need to develop my sexism.
I am not really making any assumptions here on this thread. I just put words together that outline some conservative traditionalist views, this is funny, cause I'm stoned and having a rocking raging time. Sure part of my down position is that I'm still not getting laid either, but this is due to my total lack of sexism. I can't even flirt yet. Things are actually looking up. As in I've figured out an angle for meeting women, I just need to stop being so slow and polite (too polite, not sexist enough to make her react), my stoic, cool and emotionless presence keeps everyone at a distance.
I feel that Crystal G presented an assumption that all stay at home mothers would be unappreciated, common, bored and discontent with their lot. I simply outlined a different way of looking at it. Is there really a right and wrong here?
Picking on someone for being low social status and powerless... sexist bad, classist good? Fucking hypocrit.
I'm not picking on you for being low social status, I am creating a profile of you based on some of the hateful words that you say (and quite accurately I might add).
Ever notice that people who are racist or sexist, such as members of the KKK or members of the military, tend to be uneducated, of low social status, with little to no real power in society? Well the reason that I mentioned that is because it's interesting to understand WHY somebody would psychologically resort to sexism and racism when they have no real power in society. It really doesn't take a genius to figure out why people of lower social statuses resort to racism and sexism to "feel better" about themselves.
It is not a crime to be ignorant. The real tragedy is when you act willfully ignorant, when you obviously know better. If you had a daughter I'm certain you wouldn't be spewing this vile.
"Nothing is worse than active ignorance." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Edited by Crystal G (11/06/13 06:49 PM)
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19098253 - 11/06/13 11:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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The only hateful words I've used here are 'fucking hypocrit'. I like cursing, but I'm always aware of my own hypocrisy. I'm getting painted with racist, sexist, KKK, militant, uneducated slander and being accused of spewing vile. Your secular piety is making you feel better about yourself.
Words just are not so black and white for me. I do my best not to quickly identify emotionally with the collective pain streams of social issues like a common simpleton (often fail). I really don't know what makes you think I've any more hate than yourself. Sexism is only really frowned upon on an intellectual and psuedo emotional level. In reality women love sexist men. The more sexist the man the more he is adored by women. William Shatner is still a popular philanthropist, is this not definitive proof that sexism is fun?
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut] 1
#19098638 - 11/07/13 01:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: In reality women love sexist men. The more sexist the man the more he is adored by women.
Um. No. Ascribing to a gender role is not synonymous to the word sexist. As I said earlier, there are feminists who are feminine and choose to be housewives or stay-at-home moms. A man choosing a particular identity is not the same thing as a man who chooses to oppress an entire sex. There is nothing inherently oppressive about a "man's man" who likes to work on cars and drink beer. A man does not have to exhibit any "girly" characteristics in demeanor or behavior to be considerate for equal treatment of women.
I really have no idea what is so sexist about William Shatner, although I don't know anything about the guy. Maybe you should explain what's so sexist about him. Interestingly enough, doing a quick search, I found this article about him: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2276882/William-Shatner-slams-Reddit-allowing-racism-homophobia-sexism.html
Edited by Crystal G (11/07/13 01:16 AM)
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19098836 - 11/07/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I didn't read this whole thread, but I have noticed that pretty much everyone I know cheats, not even just the males, although I know more males, so I know more males that cheat.
I find it disqusting honestly, I would never cheat under any circumstance.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G] 1
#19099289 - 11/07/13 08:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ever notice that people who are racist or sexist, such as members of the KKK or members of the military
WTF Crystal?....you're comparing people in KKK to people in the military. Holy shit....did my opinion of you take a radical dive!
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Thayendanegea]
#19099314 - 11/07/13 08:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
baltimark said:
Quote:
Ever notice that people who are racist or sexist, such as members of the KKK or members of the military
WTF Crystal?....you're comparing people in KKK to people in the military. Holy shit....did my opinion of you take a radical dive!
I'm not comparing the two. I wasn't even saying that all members of the military are the way that I described (although I can see how you read it that way). What I meant to say was that sexism and racism are rampant in the military, and I was explaining the reason for this. Around 80% of my friends are in the military (marine corps and navy, and one army friend, I've only met two people in the air force, I have only met them once and they were still both incredibly racist, talking shit about towelheads and niggers quite often and even took a few cracks at me). The marine and navy friends that I am acquainted with have also taken me on base and to the barracks and invited me to the military balls. Racism and sexism definitely run rampant in the military. That is not to say that everybody in the military is either of these, however.
But I was saying that the reason it runs rampant in the military, is because most of them are uneducated, they believe religious doctrine that says woman is inferior to man, and they hold virtually no power or status in society. Oh, and because most of them are from Texas.
I guess I should really be talking shit about people who come from Texas (outside of Austin) and from podunk nowhere areas of America.
Edited by Crystal G (11/07/13 08:38 AM)
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19101303 - 11/07/13 03:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Every member of the US Military I have ever met have been racist, literally every one of them.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19101364 - 11/07/13 03:38 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mjmihalov said: Every member of the US Military I have ever met have been racist, literally every one of them.
I have one friend who is in the marine corps who is not racist, is a liberal and a Democrat, is pro-feminist, and a scientific-thinking atheist. He talks mad shit about Bill O'Reilly and George Bush, and also talks shit about how dumb the military is, and how much he hates religious Texans in the military. He is definitely a rarity. He is more the scholarly and academic type, scored 99% on the ASVAB, and I wonder to this day why he ever joined the military.
Oh, and he also loves to take ecstasy and mushrooms and whippets.
Edited by Crystal G (11/07/13 03:44 PM)
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19101380 - 11/07/13 03:43 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
mjmihalov said: Every member of the US Military I have ever met have been racist, literally every one of them.
I have one friend who is in the marine corps who is not racist, is a liberal and a Democrat, is pro-feminist, and a scientific-thinking atheist. He is definitely a rarity. He is more the scholarly type, scored 99% on the ASVAB, and I wonder to this day why he ever joined the military.
Yeah, that is most definitely a rarity, at least IME.
I once thought about joining the military, I'm so glad I changed my mind.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: TrentBoyett] 1
#19101400 - 11/07/13 03:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mjmihalov said: Yeah, that is most definitely a rarity, at least IME.
I once thought about joining the military, I'm so glad I changed my mind.
When I told him I was considering joining the military his exact words were: "No!!!! Don't!!!! Just imagine... THE DUMBEST GUY YOU HAVE LITERALLY EVER MET... being in command of you telling you what to do every single day. THAT is what the military is like."
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Enlil
OTD God-King




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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19101665 - 11/07/13 04:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yet he was stupid enough to join in the first place.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19103489 - 11/07/13 11:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: In reality women love sexist men. The more sexist the man the more he is adored by women.
Um. No. Ascribing to a gender role is not synonymous to the word sexist. As I said earlier, there are feminists who are feminine and choose to be housewives or stay-at-home moms. A man choosing a particular identity is not the same thing as a man who chooses to oppress an entire sex. There is nothing inherently oppressive about a "man's man" who likes to work on cars and drink beer. A man does not have to exhibit any "girly" characteristics in demeanor or behavior to be considerate for equal treatment of women.
I really have no idea what is so sexist about William Shatner, although I don't know anything about the guy. Maybe you should explain what's so sexist about him. Interestingly enough, doing a quick search, I found this article about him: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2276882/William-Shatner-slams-Reddit-allowing-racism-homophobia-sexism.html
A program called Boston Legal. I only ever saw the show because of women I was living with. Now I'm thinking of downloading it so that I can learn sexism from the master.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19103651 - 11/08/13 12:33 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said:
A program called Boston Legal. I only ever saw the show because of women I was living with. Now I'm thinking of downloading it so that I can learn sexism from the master.
I don't understand how it's sexist. But what's your point? People play racist and sexist roles all the time in acting without actually being those things themselves. Why wouldn't they? Racism and sexism exist in the real world, and it would be accurate to portray it when it's necessary. I really don't understand what point you are trying to make right now and how William Shatner is indicative of sexism.
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Absolem0918
the wise fool



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19110036 - 11/09/13 11:33 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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they'll fuck your girlfriend.
--------------------
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19110942 - 11/09/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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More classist hate. I describe -poorly- some traditionalist view points in one paragraph, you felt obliged to insult all stay home mothers as unhappy and common, even though some of them are your friends. Then you profile me as an ignorant, uneducated bigot that can only cause harm. William Shatner probably got paid millions of dollars fully exploring the full extent of a man's potential to be sexist and he gets a pass. 5 seasons of tv episodes reveling in sexism for the entertainment of women is cool so long as the man is rich and powerful. But if a man is broke and powerless he better kiss feminist ass or at least keep his mouth shut.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19114675 - 11/10/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: More classist hate. I describe -poorly- some traditionalist view points in one paragraph, you felt obliged to insult all stay home mothers as unhappy and common, even though some of them are your friends. Then you profile me as an ignorant, uneducated bigot that can only cause harm. William Shatner probably got paid millions of dollars fully exploring the full extent of a man's potential to be sexist and he gets a pass. 5 seasons of tv episodes reveling in sexism for the entertainment of women is cool so long as the man is rich and powerful. But if a man is broke and powerless he better kiss feminist ass or at least keep his mouth shut.
Holy crap dude, I can't enough at every post you have made in this thread.
Do you know what "acting" means? It's when somebody gets paid to fit into a certain character and play out a story. Just because somebody accepts a job to be a bigot on a television series does not say ANYTHING about their character outside of that show. I don't know the show, but a lot of times a the writers will put in a racist character to act as a foil to another character or to make a statement about some of the flaws of society through that character's portrayal.
You're only digger yourself deeper. You haven't made a single logical, defensible comment yet.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19116962 - 11/10/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Women don't want what they think they do.
I'm simply pointing to the popularity of Boston Legal. The feminist women I knew were really turned on by it, much like some rather popular books called 50 Shades Of Grey. One feminist I knew brought the movie Irreversible around to re-watch with me because the rape scene turned her on so much.
After I'd been making her cum for a few weeks I let her manipulate me into being a stay home dad for her convenience. All those dishes I did and the cooking and baby sitting basically disgusted her, even though she had thought that was what she wanted from me. So she booted me out of her life.
If I'd focused on what was good for me, not her, and honed an masculine dominance persona, not an ass kissing nice man persona, perhaps I'd still be making her cum... She did not want to stop loving me, I did not want us to separate. Swallowing uptight lefty do-gooder dross is not going to help me make these inner changes that I need to make.
You guys are keeping me on edge, thanks.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117427 - 11/10/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Let me get this straight. You are basing your entire view on all women based of an experience that you had with a single person who broke up with you and you believe unequivocally that you are correct. Makes a lot of sense.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19117672 - 11/10/13 10:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I did not say that my entire view of all women is based on this one experience, don't know where you got that idea from. I've never claimed that I believe unequivocally that I am correct.
Edited by usulpsychonaut (11/10/13 10:19 PM)
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117693 - 11/10/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said: I'm simply pointing to the popularity of Boston Legal. The feminist women I knew were really turned on by it, much like some rather popular books called 50 Shades Of Grey. One feminist I knew brought the movie Irreversible around to re-watch with me because the rape scene turned her on so much.
Actually there was a lot of feminist criticism about the book 50 Shades of Grey. Namely, about the materialism and the sexual violence in the book that was supposed to be portrayed as "hot" and appealing to people in society.
As for the rape scene, watching rape scenes has actually been reported to be therapeutic among actual rape victims. Watching these scenes helps them to recognize and process exactly what has happened to them. Am I going to go blame somebody who enjoys watching this kind of stuff? No, because I recognize that they may very well have been a victim of sexual trauma, either as a child or as an adult.
In any case, what one likes sexually has nothing to do with whether they believe women should be given equal opportunity in society. Equal opportunity means right to vote, right to work, right to choose, etc. not right to a certain type of sex. 
Quote:
After I'd been making her cum for a few weeks I let her manipulate me into being a stay home dad for her convenience. All those dishes I did and the cooking and baby sitting basically disgusted her, even though she had thought that was what she wanted from me. So she booted me out of her life.
She was probably disgusted by you because it was clear that you were using her, and didn't have any genuine intentions for taking care of her.
Edit: Or, did it ever occur to you, that she didn't want you because your personality or your image or you yourself is a bore, and not what she's looking for? It's very common for people who are narcissistic to be in denial about their own shortcomings and in denial about rejection. Yes, blame all women, 50% of the population is what's wrong, clearly it couldn't possibly be you.
Edited by Crystal G (11/10/13 10:35 PM)
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19117814 - 11/10/13 10:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Actually there was a lot of feminist criticism about the book 50 Shades of Grey.
Yes this is interesting isn't it. There is no male patriarchy forcing feminists to read this stuff. My own female feminist friends love these books. Women love these books. The feminist commentators are completely out of touch with women. Criticising these books is simply not intelligent or productive.
It does not seem too far fetched to me to at least talk consider the implications of what a woman wants and what she is drawn to in art. If reality is so black and white, so right and left, then why don't women get into stories about nice men who are just helpful and always kiss ass? If some 60% of divorces are initiated by women out of shear dissatisfaction, and most of the husbands were nice men who were just helpful and always kissing ass (they are, because that is how society shapes them) and these women are captivated by fantasies of submission and sexism, it seems reasonable to consider that perhaps women would just be allot happier if men stood up for themselves.
Writing is pure entertainment. My intention is to simply not be emotionally involved in any of this, other than to celebrate my own irrationality.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117843 - 11/10/13 10:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Yes this is interesting isn't it. There is no male patriarchy forcing feminists to read this stuff. My own female feminist friends love these books. Women love these books. The feminist commentators are completely out of touch with women. Criticising these books is simply not intelligent or productive.
Do you even know what the definition of critiquing is, in academic terms? Critiquing is done often to reveal underlying political, sociological, and widespread societal problems.
Saying that people shouldn't criticize them because it is popular is like saying that people shouldn't criticize people's abundance on thoughtless and offensive TV shows simply because they are popular.
Quote:
It does not seem too far fetched to me to at least talk consider the implications of what a woman wants and what she is drawn to in art. If reality is so black and white, so right and left, then why don't women get into stories about nice men who are just helpful and always kiss ass?
That's because stories about nice men are for fairy tales, they are for Disney movies, and often do not depict reality. Art is intended to portray all aspects of life, including the ugly and the violent and the tragic. It does not always have to appeal to the happy. Your misunderstanding of art also appears to be very shallow.
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If some 60% of divorces are initiated by women out of shear dissatisfaction, and most of the husbands were nice men who were just helpful and always kissing ass
What makes you think that these husbands were nice men? They more likely divorced because of cheating or abuse or constant fighting. If you look at the statistical numbers of domestic abuse or infidelity, does it seem like those 60% of couples divorce because of each other's "niceness?"
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(they are, because that is how society shapes them)
Apparently you believe TV shows about how men and women are depicted. You are the first person I have ever "met" who fails to distinguish the difference between reality and fiction. TV shows depict men as kissing ass, doofus, dummies who are inept at common sense and taking care of their kids, because it is FUNNY. It is supposed to be a COMEDY. Men are not REALLY like Homer Simpson and not all women are like Marge.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19117847 - 11/10/13 10:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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She was probably disgusted by you because it was clear that you were using her, and didn't have any genuine intentions for taking care of her.
Edit: Or, did it ever occur to you, that she didn't want you because your personality or your image or you yourself is a bore, and not what she's looking for? It's very common for people who are narcissistic to be in denial about their own shortcomings and in denial about rejection. Yes, blame all women, 50% of the population is what's wrong, clearly it couldn't possibly be you
I clearly stated that it was entirely my own fault. I simply was not sexist enough. I took care of her in the way that she clearly indicated that she wanted me to. Had I been raised to be sexist I would have known how she really needed to be taken care of. I have not blamed women for anything at all in this thread. I have the best interests of woman at heart.
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117854 - 11/10/13 10:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said:
Quote:
She was probably disgusted by you because it was clear that you were using her, and didn't have any genuine intentions for taking care of her.
Edit: Or, did it ever occur to you, that she didn't want you because your personality or your image or you yourself is a bore, and not what she's looking for? It's very common for people who are narcissistic to be in denial about their own shortcomings and in denial about rejection. Yes, blame all women, 50% of the population is what's wrong, clearly it couldn't possibly be you
I clearly stated that it was entirely my own fault. I simply was not sexist enough. I took care of her in the way that she clearly indicated that she wanted me to. Had I been raised to be sexist I would have known how she really needed to be taken care of. I have not blamed women for anything at all in this thread. I have the best interests of woman at heart.
Are you being intentionally obtuse, because it really seems like it. You have not addressed a single argument that has been brought against you, many of which have been made BY a woman who is disagreeing with you.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117883 - 11/10/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Do you even know what the definition of critiquing is, in academic terms? Critiquing is done often to reveal underlying political, sociological, and widespread societal problems.
Saying that people shouldn't criticize them because it is popular is like saying that people shouldn't criticize people's abundance on thoughtless and offensive TV shows simply because they are popular.
That's because stories about nice men are for fairy tales, they are for Disney movies, and often do not depict reality. Art is intended to portray all aspects of life, including the ugly and the violent and the tragic It does not always have to appeal to the happy. Your misunderstanding of art also appears to be very shallow.
I was thinking of uptight eggheads wringing their hands and screaming "it is so wrong! it is all wrong"! This is not intelligent. When art is brought to relevance by philosophising and mythologising, this is intelligent. Being affected by art is my religion. I'm surrounded by so much art and I'm entranced by some piece of art most of the time. My posts on this forum art works of art.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19117893 - 11/10/13 10:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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pwnasaurus said: Are you being intentionally obtuse, because it really seems like it. You have not addressed a single argument that has been brought against you, many of which have been made BY a woman who is disagreeing with you.
Apparently this is a guy that does not distinguish between fact and fiction, and alpha and sexist.
I am drawn to alphas, and this guy would most likely use his standard of thinking to prove, "See! Women like sexist guys!"
But he fails to consider that the reason that I like alphas, is because I MYSELF AM ALSO AN ALPHA. I also prefer women who are alphas. I am drawn to men and women who are strong physically and mentally, people who refuse to be easily bullied by others, people who exude good looks and charm and a daring quality to them. Nowhere in my definition of alpha would I be drawn to men who are sexist.
Actually any time I have ever noticed even an inkling of sexism on a date, I have broken it off with the guy. Because to me, sexism is usually a big red flag that they are insecure and very controlling, and it would be indicative of marital problems in the future. I don't want to spend my years fighting for my freedom and the right to do what I want to do.
Maybe usul should consider marrying a traditional Muslim woman to fit his views.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117908 - 11/10/13 11:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Are you being intentionally obtuse, because it really seems like it. You have not addressed a single argument that has been brought against you, many of which have been made BY a woman who is disagreeing with you.
Are you saying that if a woman disagrees with me I should kiss her ass? I've addressed plenty of arguments. There are a few too many to keep up with.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19117920 - 11/10/13 11:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I was thinking of uptight eggheads wringing their hands and screaming "it is so wrong! it is all wrong"! This is not intelligent. When art is brought to relevance by philosophising and mythologising, this is intelligent. Being affected by art is my religion. I'm surrounded by so much art and I'm entranced by some piece of art most of the time. My posts on this forum art works of art.
I am convinced now you have never attended an academic conference or read an academic journal. As a matter of fact, you probably got your view of "these eggheads" from some movie that was supposed to be a comedy. Your rendition of academia reminds me of those mad mom groups on South Park. Is that where you get your information from? 
When "these eggheads" have critiqued 50 Shades of Grey, they discuss topics such as intersectionality, multicultural inclusion, hegemonic masculinity, gender performativity, and identity politics.
Here is a sample of one research paper I have found critiquing 50 Shades of Grey. I'm sure you won't be able to understand it. http://www.academia.edu/attachments/30233410/download_file
Edited by Crystal G (11/10/13 11:19 PM)
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19120453 - 11/11/13 12:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: Are you being intentionally obtuse, because it really seems like it. You have not addressed a single argument that has been brought against you, many of which have been made BY a woman who is disagreeing with you.
Apparently this is a guy that does not distinguish between fact and fiction, and alpha and sexist.
I am drawn to alphas, and this guy would most likely use his standard of thinking to prove, "See! Women like sexist guys!"
But he fails to consider that the reason that I like alphas, is because I MYSELF AM ALSO AN ALPHA. I also prefer women who are alphas. I am drawn to men and women who are strong physically and mentally, people who refuse to be easily bullied by others, people who exude good looks and charm and a daring quality to them. Nowhere in my definition of alpha would I be drawn to men who are sexist.
Actually any time I have ever noticed even an inkling of sexism on a date, I have broken it off with the guy. Because to me, sexism is usually a big red flag that they are insecure and very controlling, and it would be indicative of marital problems in the future. I don't want to spend my years fighting for my freedom and the right to do what I want to do.
Maybe usul should consider marrying a traditional Muslim woman to fit his views.
I want artistic, fun, uncomplicated women. Which came first, sexist or alpha? Does it require higher education to make basic observations about reality? Why is it sexist to make a truthful statement that states the obvious? This simple article about covers it. http://takimag.com/article/this_country_was_not_built_by_beta_males_gavin_mcinnes#axzz2kMjsvNDQ Fact, the majority of women would be happier if they focused on fulfilling their natural purpose for being alive. I did not choose the word sexist, it was hurled at me, I'm just owning it. The failure to distinguish between alpha and sexist is not mine. I don't really have a sexist bone in my body.
Elitist intellectuals impose their strange superstitions on what they see as the lesser humans, clearly you state that I am a lower creature, cause I've never read an academic paper. This secular religion is just as annoying as traditional Islam.
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19120481 - 11/11/13 12:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
usulpsychonaut said:
Quote:
Are you being intentionally obtuse, because it really seems like it. You have not addressed a single argument that has been brought against you, many of which have been made BY a woman who is disagreeing with you.
Are you saying that if a woman disagrees with me I should kiss her ass? I've addressed plenty of arguments.
....no. I am saying that if you make an absurd statement that gets refuted, you should defend your position logically. Making non sequitur remarks is not "addressing the argument". It is a logical fallacy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non_sequitur_(logic)
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19121968 - 11/11/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Does it require higher education to make basic observations about reality?
There is no reality for you. Everything that you've said in this thread is based off TV and media depictions of men and women. Like William Shatner and all that BS about how men kiss their wives' asses all the time on TV and in movies that are intended to be comedies. None of your beliefs that you are basing this stuff on is supposed to be true. 
Quote:
Elitist intellectuals impose their strange superstitions on what they see as the lesser humans, clearly you state that I am a lower creature, cause I've never read an academic paper. This secular religion is just as annoying as traditional Islam.
You are a lower creature for attempting to talk about academic "eggheads" as if you've actually talked to them or about topics studied in academia as is you were some kind of authority on it.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19135923 - 11/14/13 12:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I do not watch television, aside from my Fringe and Doctor Who DVDs. I've been thinking about the alpha/sexist thing. Feel pretty certain that Alpha's get away with sexism, it works for them. They know when to avoid inappropriate comments/behaviour, but if they want to they can be as sexy as they like with their sexism.
You make allot of assumptions about me. I don't even know me as well as you think you know me.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19138786 - 11/14/13 10:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I've been thinking about the alpha/sexist thing. Feel pretty certain that Alpha's get away with sexism, it works for them. They know when to avoid inappropriate comments/behaviour, but if they want to they can be as sexy as they like with their sexism.
You make allot of assumptions about me. I don't even know me as well as you think you know me.
Name a few examples that you think that alpha males get away with sexism. Personally, I don't think you have the faintest idea what sexism means.
And the main reason that women don't speak out against feminism (edit: I meant sexism) amongst groups of guys when they see it, is because they are afraid of being labeled "the bitch" or "stuck up and anal and butt-hurt" and outed in the entire crowd.
Edited by Crystal G (11/15/13 04:29 AM)
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lunarpiscean
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19138991 - 11/14/13 11:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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i feel like almost everyone cheats
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: lunarpiscean]
#19140405 - 11/15/13 10:36 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Tell yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. I never have and never will.
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topdog82
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: lunarpiscean]
#19140928 - 11/15/13 01:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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lunarpiscean said: i feel like almost everyone cheats 
lol seiously. I will try my best not to cheat but I will never put myeslf above other who do cheat. Its kind of a close minded way to look at it
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: topdog82]
#19140964 - 11/15/13 01:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Just dont be a douche and get your ass beat by telling them hahaha thats what they would say to you sir but a true friend would at least be like what are you doing. Just the married guy tho his bitch will take half his shit and part of his paycheck for a long time if shes smart.
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topdog82
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Anonymous #3]
#19141035 - 11/15/13 01:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Anonymous said: Just dont be a douche and get your ass beat by telling them hahaha thats what they would say to you sir but a true friend would at least be like what are you doing. Just the married guy tho his bitch will take half his shit and part of his paycheck for a long time if shes smart.
well thats not fair either
What if the wife was fuckin the plumber? or the husbands best friend? Or refusing to fuck her husband?
You really cant look at these situations so simply like that
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19141227 - 11/15/13 03:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Certainly, it is a chemical reaction, but these reactions cannot simply be stimulated by just about anybody.
So you agree that "love" is just a simple chemical reaction?
I agree that it can't be stimulated by anybody.
However, if somebody was able to stimulate your chemical reactions (or push your buttons the right way) you would be inclined to believe that you are "in love" with them.
There is nothing special about this idea called love.
It's all 1's and 0's and ultimately, NOTHING in the end.
Quote:
Crystal G said:
It's actually quite rare to find somebody you are PASSIONATELY in love with, as opposed to feeling secure because they are a dependable guy. Again, chemistry easily explains this.
Again, it's all button pushing.
If you were a piano, and he was a keyboardist that only knew how to play "The Celebrated Chop Waltz" -
You would stick with him until you found a guy that could play Rachmaninov! 
Let's play pretend for a little bit.
Pretend I created the "Perfect Mate Machine®" that featured somebody you thought was sexually attractive and pushed all of your buttons the right way.
I think that you would eventually start to develop feelings for that person.
Now, if that machine could implant years of false memories of "passion" and "intimacy" - I think that you would believe that you are "in love" with that person.
We're nothing special.
As unique as we'd like to think we all are, our brains are just wires in a box.
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19141278 - 11/15/13 03:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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And in what way would that NOT be love? You are describing the experience of love - someone who knows you intimately, and also the reverse, in such a way that you push each others buttons just the right way.
It's one thing to talk about this theoretical machine, but it simply doesn't exist. Everything we experience is "just a chemical reaction". I think you're seriously understating the issue and it's complexity.
Edited by pwnasaurus (11/15/13 03:20 PM)
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19141289 - 11/15/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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For some reason when I tell people that I don't believe in love, or that love is just an idea - they think I'm some angry bitter person.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
My disbelief in "love" has been positive, even liberating.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19141298 - 11/15/13 03:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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You completely missed my point. You're oversimplifying "love" to come to a conclusion that is disingenuous to actual experience of love.
I'm not saying you're bitter or anything of the sort, but you have committed some logical fallacies by making simplifying assumptions that do not hold true for the majority of people.
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19141308 - 11/15/13 03:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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pwnasaurus said: And in what way would that NOT be love?
I'm not debating Crystal G - I'm just trying to explain my point of view.
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
I think you're seriously understating the issue and it's complexity.
No, my example was simple; that is all.
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19141339 - 11/15/13 03:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You completely missed my point. You're oversimplifying "love" to come to a conclusion that is disingenuous to actual experience of love.
I'm not saying you're bitter or anything of the sort, but you have committed some logical fallacies by making simplifying assumptions that do not hold true for the majority of people.
No.
I'm saying that love is just an idea, and nothing more.
I'm not saying that this idea is true or false, I simply do not believe in it.
My "assumptions that do not hold true for the majority of people" hold the same amount of "truth" as the rest of the world.
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19141359 - 11/15/13 03:33 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Love is a fucking opinion!
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Enlil
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Mr. Material]
#19141464 - 11/15/13 04:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Love is an idea in the same way that pain is. That doesn't make it any less of an experience. All feelings are brought on by chemical reactions. Every thought we have is a chemical reaction.
That doesn't make the experience any less real. On the contrary, since we only experience reality through chemical reactions, that puts love on par with every other experience we have.
I do believe that love is treated like it's some kind of mystical thing that rarely happens, and that probably does more harm than good. I've been in love dozens of times.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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lunarpiscean
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Enlil]
#19141613 - 11/15/13 04:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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i feel like cheating in marriage is wrong.
BUT if you're not married, i'm pretty indifferent to it. everyone has desires. its not like youre killng somebody by doing it. shit happens man.
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Crystal G



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: lunarpiscean]
#19143666 - 11/16/13 12:37 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enlil said: Love is an idea in the same way that pain is. That doesn't make it any less of an experience. All feelings are brought on by chemical reactions. Every thought we have is a chemical reaction.
That doesn't make the experience any less real. On the contrary, since we only experience reality through chemical reactions, that puts love on par with every other experience we have.
Precisely. Love is as real as pain, fear, anger, or sadness. Of course it's a reaction in your brain, if your brain weren't reacting at all you would be DEAD.
On a side note, damn, what is up with us agreeing all of a sudden?
Quote:
lunarpiscean said: i feel like cheating in marriage is wrong.
BUT if you're not married, i'm pretty indifferent to it. everyone has desires. its not like youre killng somebody by doing it. shit happens man.
That's... interesting. So if somebody cheats with the stripper on their bachelor/bachelorette party the evening before the wedding, that's totally cool to you?
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lunarpiscean
princess



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19143679 - 11/16/13 12:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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hey. if it's in someone's nature to cheat and be a piece of shit, that just is what it is.
human nature is human nature. if a person decides to be with a cheater, they should know they're being cheated on way before their wedding day.
marriage is a really big commitiment and i think you can get sued for money if theres proof you've cheated thats why its wrong
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Mr. Material
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Enlil]
#19143689 - 11/16/13 12:45 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Do people read posts anymore?
Quote:
Mr. Material said:
I'm saying that love is just an idea, and nothing more.
I'm not saying that this idea is true or false, (real or unreal) I simply do not believe in it.
I guess people like the sound of sucking their own dick!
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19143837 - 11/16/13 01:31 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
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usulpsychonaut said: I've been thinking about the alpha/sexist thing. Feel pretty certain that Alpha's get away with sexism, it works for them. They know when to avoid inappropriate comments/behaviour, but if they want to they can be as sexy as they like with their sexism.
You make allot of assumptions about me. I don't even know me as well as you think you know me.
Name a few examples that you think that alpha males get away with sexism. Personally, I don't think you have the faintest idea what sexism means.
And the main reason that women don't speak out against feminism (edit: I meant sexism) amongst groups of guys when they see it, is because they are afraid of being labeled "the bitch" or "stuck up and anal and butt-hurt" and outed in the entire crowd.
The word 'sexism' is utterly meaningless. There is no sexism, only natural order. The only pathology inflicting unhappiness on the innocent is left wing academia and their vile filth of feminist lies. The happier woman flows with the natural order.
I don't know much about being an alpha. But I have never once gotten away with being a gentle natured, helpful equal. While all my far less gentle, helpful equal friends always get away with who they are and their women radiate happiness. When find the stones to test my theories, I'll let you know how it goes.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G] 1
#19143919 - 11/16/13 02:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Wait, I'm finding examples.
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I can tell you all this is true from experience. When I was a smart-ass little college freshman I would (unwittingly) draw women in with this stuff. I didn’t know better. I thought it was funny. So, apparently, did the girls, judging by my notch count from ages 17-19.
Sample freshman year dorm convo: “So you plan on having kids?” “Yes.” “Wanna practice?” “You’re disgusting!” Maybe so, but she was the one back in my room later on.
And then I got involved in college “issues” and got “educated.” I began to engage women intellectually (gag!) as “equals” instead of making my usual semi-disrespectful comments in the margins.
Anyone wanna guess what happened to the old notch count after that?
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Reminds me of a little story from last year. Friends of my wife, Jewish couple, he’s got a successful accounting business, she’s a surgeon, and pretty hot looking – hour glass figure, all tits and ass, beautiful face, bluest blue eyes – probably an 8. She mentions that she’s taking ballroom dancing lessons as a way to stay fit,and likes it a lot so far.
Hearing this I chime in: Me: “I think it’s a wonderful thing for a girl to take ballroom dancing lessons!” Hottie: “Right, it’s good exercise and it gets you out of the house” Me: “NO. That’s not what I meant at all. Ballroom dancing forces a girl to follow the lead of her male partner. So she learns how to properly follow and bend to a man’s will…” (smirk) Hottie: “What the hell!” (rabbit punches me in the gut) Me: (Deadpan) “It’s true” Hottie: (Walks off indignantly… slightly sashaying her hips)
An hour or more passes, and we’re parting company, but out of earshot of her hubby or my wifey.
Hottie: “Goodbye” (Hugs me, mashes her big titties into my chest) Me: “See ya soon!” Hottie: (Hushed voice) “You know, you should really think about taking up ballroom dancing… I’m looking for a new partner (Raises eyebrows suggestively)
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Every time I’m tempted to open a can of emergency rations game, I’m reminded of all the fun and amazing times I had with my girl, and I can’t bring myself to hit on someone new. Then again, leaving was necessary. I was starting to be treated as a beta schlub on a more and more frequent basis. Yelling and screaming when I’d forget to clean up something in the house, yelling and criticism when I wouldn’t buy her what she wanted at the store, or if it was not EXACTLY the brand and make she wanted.
My stop-loss order kicked in and I couldn’t take another second of it. Broke up that evening and let her know it was final and that I would never be contacting her again.
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We’ve grown up in a society today where there is a proper way a guy is supposed to address a female he just met that he hardly knows. Ms. or Mrs. In a formal setting and if you just met a girl in a bar/ casual setting it’s less formal than that, just her first name. But there is a select group of truly alpha males who get to flip the switch around and pet name call women he just met within minutes of meeting them, sometimes before even getting their first names. When the same scenario is switched and a beta does it or man who doesn’t have experience/ self confidence of talking to thousands of women says the same thing he’s yelled at and called sexist. Here’s an example
You’re walking up to a crowded bar trying to get a drink. There’s a semi attractive girl that already has one but is blocking your way.
The alpha- Walks up confidently with a purpose towards the girl with slight smirk on his face and say,
“Excuse me sweetheart let me get by you and get a drink” (absolutely dead pan and no hint of irony)
She looks him up and down and immediately can tell he’s an alpha male and about that life, she smiles, says; “no problem” slides over and lets him get a drink.
The beta-less experienced man- walks up looks around nervously then decides to walk to the same girl
“Um… I’m sorry baby… can I get by you to get a drink” (not making eye contact, voice wobbling)
She responds, “Baby.. BABY! I don’t know you like that, ima a grown woman! I’m nobody’s baby! What do you think this is 1950, nobody puts baby in the corner.. you fucking jerk!”
In both situations the men referred to the girl with a pet name even though she was a complete stranger. By society’s standards the way both of them referred to her was completely sexist and ill advised. But just like office harassment and street harassment… alpha males get to get away with it. This is something I started playing with about a year ago. Trust me it’s one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to do, refer to a woman with a pet name in such an intimate way. It took practice but the more I did it the more comfortable I felt doing it. It was like breaking some kind of law and not getting caught so I grew bolder to keep committing the crime.
I walk through a crowded bar or dance floor and an attractive girl is in my way, I’d put my hand on her lower back and whisper, “excuse me beautiful and gently keep on moving past her”. I walk up to the bar and it’s a female bartender I start my order off with “Hey darling let me get a…..”. This moved to me opening women in the same way, “Hey gorgeous is there a place that plays good hip hop around here”.
Edited by usulpsychonaut (11/16/13 02:08 AM)
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topdog82
Death Spirit



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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: lunarpiscean]
#19144967 - 11/16/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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lunarpiscean said: hey. if it's in someone's nature to cheat and be a piece of shit, that just is what it is.
human nature is human nature. if a person decides to be with a cheater, they should know they're being cheated on way before their wedding day.
marriage is a really big commitiment and i think you can get sued for money if theres proof you've cheated thats why its wrong
I disagree. but thats the beauty of it. We dont have to agree to get along
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19152696 - 11/18/13 01:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Wait, I'm finding examples.
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I can tell you all this is true from experience. When I was a smart-ass little college freshman I would (unwittingly) draw women in with this stuff. I didn’t know better. I thought it was funny. So, apparently, did the girls, judging by my notch count from ages 17-19.
Sample freshman year dorm convo: “So you plan on having kids?” “Yes.” “Wanna practice?” “You’re disgusting!” Maybe so, but she was the one back in my room later on.
And then I got involved in college “issues” and got “educated.” I began to engage women intellectually (gag!) as “equals” instead of making my usual semi-disrespectful comments in the margins.
Anyone wanna guess what happened to the old notch count after that?
Quote:
Reminds me of a little story from last year. Friends of my wife, Jewish couple, he’s got a successful accounting business, she’s a surgeon, and pretty hot looking – hour glass figure, all tits and ass, beautiful face, bluest blue eyes – probably an 8. She mentions that she’s taking ballroom dancing lessons as a way to stay fit,and likes it a lot so far.
Hearing this I chime in: Me: “I think it’s a wonderful thing for a girl to take ballroom dancing lessons!” Hottie: “Right, it’s good exercise and it gets you out of the house” Me: “NO. That’s not what I meant at all. Ballroom dancing forces a girl to follow the lead of her male partner. So she learns how to properly follow and bend to a man’s will…” (smirk) Hottie: “What the hell!” (rabbit punches me in the gut) Me: (Deadpan) “It’s true” Hottie: (Walks off indignantly… slightly sashaying her hips)
An hour or more passes, and we’re parting company, but out of earshot of her hubby or my wifey.
Hottie: “Goodbye” (Hugs me, mashes her big titties into my chest) Me: “See ya soon!” Hottie: (Hushed voice) “You know, you should really think about taking up ballroom dancing… I’m looking for a new partner (Raises eyebrows suggestively)
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Every time I’m tempted to open a can of emergency rations game, I’m reminded of all the fun and amazing times I had with my girl, and I can’t bring myself to hit on someone new. Then again, leaving was necessary. I was starting to be treated as a beta schlub on a more and more frequent basis. Yelling and screaming when I’d forget to clean up something in the house, yelling and criticism when I wouldn’t buy her what she wanted at the store, or if it was not EXACTLY the brand and make she wanted.
My stop-loss order kicked in and I couldn’t take another second of it. Broke up that evening and let her know it was final and that I would never be contacting her again.
Quote:
We’ve grown up in a society today where there is a proper way a guy is supposed to address a female he just met that he hardly knows. Ms. or Mrs. In a formal setting and if you just met a girl in a bar/ casual setting it’s less formal than that, just her first name. But there is a select group of truly alpha males who get to flip the switch around and pet name call women he just met within minutes of meeting them, sometimes before even getting their first names. When the same scenario is switched and a beta does it or man who doesn’t have experience/ self confidence of talking to thousands of women says the same thing he’s yelled at and called sexist. Here’s an example
You’re walking up to a crowded bar trying to get a drink. There’s a semi attractive girl that already has one but is blocking your way.
The alpha- Walks up confidently with a purpose towards the girl with slight smirk on his face and say,
“Excuse me sweetheart let me get by you and get a drink” (absolutely dead pan and no hint of irony)
She looks him up and down and immediately can tell he’s an alpha male and about that life, she smiles, says; “no problem” slides over and lets him get a drink.
The beta-less experienced man- walks up looks around nervously then decides to walk to the same girl
“Um… I’m sorry baby… can I get by you to get a drink” (not making eye contact, voice wobbling)
She responds, “Baby.. BABY! I don’t know you like that, ima a grown woman! I’m nobody’s baby! What do you think this is 1950, nobody puts baby in the corner.. you fucking jerk!”
In both situations the men referred to the girl with a pet name even though she was a complete stranger. By society’s standards the way both of them referred to her was completely sexist and ill advised. But just like office harassment and street harassment… alpha males get to get away with it. This is something I started playing with about a year ago. Trust me it’s one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to do, refer to a woman with a pet name in such an intimate way. It took practice but the more I did it the more comfortable I felt doing it. It was like breaking some kind of law and not getting caught so I grew bolder to keep committing the crime.
I walk through a crowded bar or dance floor and an attractive girl is in my way, I’d put my hand on her lower back and whisper, “excuse me beautiful and gently keep on moving past her”. I walk up to the bar and it’s a female bartender I start my order off with “Hey darling let me get a…..”. This moved to me opening women in the same way, “Hey gorgeous is there a place that plays good hip hop around here”.
You got those anecdotes from a blog that is titled "Happy Sexist is Happy" for Christsake's. 
I'm sorry, but you are wrong in saying that WOMEN AS A WHOLE are drawn to the same thing. Some women might like being put down, especially if they are accustomed to living a life of abuse. Some women like to be put on a pedestal and are very high-maintenance. All women are different and have their own unique tastes and preferences, so to say the same method works on every single woman as an entire gender is simply INACCURATE.
Men too have different tastes. Some men like the flamboyant, wild-child, dirty girl who's overtly sexual and aggressive personality-wise, while others prefer the homebody, shy, and innocent type who's more reserved. Just like women, some men are drawn to alpha women, while other men are drawn to beta women. Do you think the alpha woman is going to like the same type of man as a beta woman? Nope, she's not.
You remind me of one of those "pick-up artists" who claim to have THE SECRET that will lure every woman into a man's bedroom without fail. When in reality, their "big secret" is going up to girl after girl after girl, until they eventually get lucky and one eventually says. There is no fool-proof secret. That's what young boys like you with no experience need to know.
If all women were only drawn to alpha guys then we would only see alpha guys in relationships or getting married. But this is really not the case.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19153907 - 11/18/13 12:36 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I could not speak from experience so I searched for relevant information Women have always married betta men. The traditional marriage is organized so that beta men would be married and would stay married. Now that marriage is a sham, betta men don't get to stay married. Their strategies of being nice and good cause great dissatisfaction to women, which now a days is legal justification for divorce. Women marry betas these days because alphas don't want to be married.
Freely admitting, I know fuck all about any of this. So far I ain't found the stones to address any woman as sweaty, love or darling. It hardly matters if I'm over generalizing. My intent is not to inform anyone other than myself and you have got me thinking. Perhaps I should submit and stop using this word sexist.
My problem with word definitions. Their meanings change in my mind and I go about creating straw man arguments. But I'm certain the feminist camp frequently bends the definition of sexism too. I know that I'm a delta male and that this is unacceptable to me and all attractive women. It feels like I'm so far down the scale of sexism that its some kind of pathology - the reverse of sexism. Its limiting. Can you stop leering down at me long enough to hear that?
Edited by usulpsychonaut (11/18/13 12:37 PM)
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19155310 - 11/18/13 04:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: I could not speak from experience so I searched for relevant information Women have always married betta men. The traditional marriage is organized so that beta men would be married and would stay married. Now that marriage is a sham, betta men don't get to stay married. Their strategies of being nice and good cause great dissatisfaction to women, which now a days is legal justification for divorce. Women marry betas these days because alphas don't want to be married.
And under what conditions are you defining "alpha" and "beta?" Because there are different labeling methods when you use the terms alpha and beta. When YOU say alpha, do you mean PHYSICALLY alpha, as in strong and tough, military or police officer or bodybuilder types? Or when you say alpha, do you mean SOCIALLY alpha, as in alphas that have high social status in society, such as CEO's or politicians or celebrities? Because marriage is pretty common among both types of alphas.
I know the type of guy you are talking about that, those guys that are 45 and have never been married and are still constantly chasing 19 year old girls. To be honest, I don't even bother with those type of guys. I get approached by those guys all the time on POF. For some reason, they strike me as very slimy, untrustworthy, flaky, and insecure. I don't see them alphas. I see them as pathetic, kind of like the one guy that looks way too old to be hanging around in a nightclub. 
And no, historically speaking, due to the caste system that was prevalent in society, men and women have always married within their social class. Marriages were often arranged from early adolescence, and peasants married peasants, while royals married royals.
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Freely admitting, I know fuck all about any of this. So far I ain't found the stones to address any woman as sweaty, love or darling.
I've never met a woman that gets offended if you call them love or darling. As a matter of fact, it's an endearing term that is commonly used in England. I've been called love and darling by both men and women, and I consider it a term of endearment.
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My problem with word definitions. Their meanings change in my mind and I go about creating straw man arguments. But I'm certain the feminist camp frequently bends the definition of sexism too. I know that I'm a delta male and that this is unacceptable to me and all attractive women. It feels like I'm so far down the scale of sexism that its some kind of pathology - the reverse of sexism. Its limiting. Can you stop leering down at me long enough to hear that?
So you consider yourself inadequate. In what way do you consider yourself a delta male? What traits do you exhibit, either internally or externally that make you a delta male?
Are you unattractive, overweight, introverted, autistic, opposite of charming, unemployed, disabled, broke, nerdy, weak, have bad hygiene, poor fashion taste, and what else? I bet you anything if you took care of your appearance a little bit, and learned how to converse in a charming way with strangers, you would find women that found you appealing.
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: Crystal G]
#19157923 - 11/19/13 01:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've never met a woman that gets offended if you call them love or darling. As a matter of fact, it's an endearing term that is commonly used in England. I've been called love and darling by both men and women, and I consider it a term of endearment.
Thanks for the validation. Perhaps conscience was the limitation. If it is not the case that somewhere someone would call out terms of endearment as sexism, it would seem that being raised in feminized setting such as church (no hitting, cussing, smoking, music, adventure or manly role modals) causes much naivety. Life feels like endless naivety.
The correct definition for Sexism describes real oppression. Where do gooders have called out normal flirtatious relations as sexist, where no oppression exists, then the definitions have been blurred and some might be understand for intuiting they need to become sexist.
Personally, wider definitions, or varied definitions seem preferable. Narrow language limits expression. The word Sexism seems appropriate as applied to any contemplation of gender. This also applies to Racist. How can tight, emotionally charged definitions be anything but rigid limitation to communication?
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives [Re: usulpsychonaut]
#19158039 - 11/19/13 02:01 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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usulpsychonaut said: Thanks for the validation. Perhaps conscience was the limitation. If it is not the case that somewhere someone would call out terms of endearment as sexism, it would seem that being raised in feminized setting such as church (no hitting, cussing, smoking, music, adventure or manly role modals) causes much naivety. Life feels like endless naivety.
I feel like you are misusing the word naivety, or don't understand what the definition means.
With all due respect, restricting a boy from hitting, cussing, and smoking is not feminization. It is trying to turn boys into refined gentlemen of high social class. Ever notice that blue-collar guys are usually the ones that cuss in every sentence, chain-smoke, and get drunk and rowdy and get into fist-fights? High-class, white-collar guys do not brawl or riot or cuss people out in public. Do you want your sons growing up acting like Jersey Shore boys? Most people don't. That's why they teach them these things.
I can tell you never went to cotillion. It's okay, I never did either. But you ever notice that blue-collar guys even have different table manners from white-collar guys? And that blue-collar guys do things like spit on the sidewalk while white-collar guys don't? Frankly, there are certain restaurants that I can't bring some of my friends to, because they lack the table manners that are required for some dining experiences.
Again, what you are describing is not feminization. It's a class issue.
Smoking is something that statistically, the working class do. If you go to the ghetto in Long Beach, you will see maybe 1 out of every 10 people smoking cigarettes. Then when you go to the gated community of Newport Beach where all you will see are million dollar mansions, you will almost never ever see a smoker. Same with tattoos. Lower class people get them, upper class people don't. Thats why almost everybody in prison is a smoker with tattoos. If you go to the methadone clinic, everybody crowding around outside will be tattooed and smoking.
White-collar guys smoke cigars. I will even relay to you one experience I had in a cigar shop. I was shopping for cigars as a gift for my father. I saw 4 guys in the lounge smoking cigars, so I lit up a cigarette while browsing the aisles. The cigar lady came up to me and actually said, "I'm sorry, but you are going to have to put that out." I asked, why? She said, no fucking shit, "Cigarettes are actually considered something that lower class people do... we mostly cater to high-profile clientele, and they would be offended if a cigarette smoker were in here, because it's considered something only low-class people do."
I couldn't believe it! Of course, I was tattooed, and not wearing any brand-name clothing, so I'm sure that added to the prejudice. I had plenty of money to spend, I simply don't show it off like other people do. Suffice to say, I walked out of that store and didn't purchase a thing.
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Personally, wider definitions, or varied definitions seem preferable. Narrow language limits expression. The word Sexism seems appropriate as applied to any contemplation of gender. This also applies to Racist. How can tight, emotionally charged definitions be anything but rigid limitation to communication?
Sexism and racism can apply to many situations and they can be subliminal or they can be obvious. Things have progressed and gotten better, but to say it doesn't exist, is naive and means you are living in a bubble.
Edited by Crystal G (11/19/13 02:14 AM)
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