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ch1ck3n.s0up
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Food combination for smelliest farts
#19075305 - 11/02/13 02:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Has anyone done any research on this?
Here's the best I've found: http://fartingisfun.tribe.net/thread/39f8baa4-2142-4f3d-b912-eb53d03400b9
Quote:
Farting is Fun said: Re: RECIPE FOR MOST SMELLY FARTS? Wed, September 8, 2010 - 3:49 PM OK - after years of experience I can assure you the following is guaranteed to produce the most noxious farts imaginable. This is not for the faint of heart.....
You will need the following:
4 brussell sprouts 8 cabbage leaves 1/4 cup of 'three beans' mix 12 dried apricots 2 prunes (only two otherwise you're going to end up with a case of 'follow through' on your farts!) 1 boiled egg 1/2 bottle of warm beer 1/2 clove of garlic and last but not least
1 xenecal tablet (this is a weight loss tablet available from the pharmacy. It causes your intestines to not absorb fats. It has amongst other things, a particularly nasty side effect of producing gas)
The procedure:
Start with the clove of garlic and glass of water. The clove of garlic should be of a size that you can swallow in one gulp with a large glass of water. Make sure it's sliced in half and there are no sharp edges. Swallow the clove with a full glass of water; then swallow the xenecal tablet.
Wait ten minutes. This is crucial.
Next, take the cabbage, and cook in the microwave. Don't over cook it. It needs to be about 3/4s cooked for maximum effect. You can let this cool. Cook the brussel sprouts by the same method, cooking them about 3/4's of the way.
Consume both together.
Next, the boiled egg. Salt to taste; consume with a 1/2 glass of water to wash it down.
now the three bean mix. This stuff is usually found in 'bean salad' You can cover this with a liberal coating of french salad dressing which will make it really tasty AND add to the effect as the oil in the salad dressing won't digest and will have the effect of turning your farts truly nuclear.
All right, finally; eat the prunes, and appricots and wash this all down with the 1/2 glass of warm beer.
For the next hour or so, drink a full cup of water every 15 minutes. This helps to force your concoction through your guts rather than letting it all backup and burp out.
Now --- wait. Give it about an hour or two. Three at most.
Then -- go to ikea. This part isn't necessary but I can assure you from personal experience, is highly rewarding!! Let me tell you about my experience in the childrens toy section: First, that 'bloated feeling' began to wash over me. As I was walking through the store (which as you probably know is one enormous maze) I had that distinct feeling that gas was going to pass..... In the childrens section i thought "Hmmm this looks like a good place to play 'evacuate the building' As the fart approached my anus, i swear to God it felt like it was on fire. I could literally feel this super heated gas pass.... and I immediately knew it was going to be deadly from the temperature alone.....
A nano second later I had to quickly leave the childrens section. The stench was unlike ANYTHING i have ever experienced! imagine sulphur, eggs, boiled cabbage and HOT DEATH with strong garlicy overtunes all mixed in one.... And this fart did NOT dissipate. It was almost as if it clung to the walls.
I watch in absolute delight as people would enter the childrens section and --- like running into an invisible brick wall -- Stop dead in their tracks
One guy yelled out "What the F*ck was that?!?"
You will continue to drop these little easter eggs for the next hour or so -- easily. I must warn you though... if you are sensitive to prunes you'll want to stay close to the facilities.
Good luck and happy farting
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
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r00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed



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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#19079328 - 11/03/13 08:48 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Valium gives me stinky assed farts mix that with some dried apricots or fresh peaches or plums throw in some pasta and you got it goin on Screw all the cabbage and broccoli and cauliflower.
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Corporal Kielbasa


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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#19079640 - 11/03/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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My friend experimented with making juices for this reason. I'll ask him about his recipe.
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Gorlax



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BEEF JERKY!
is the fucking worst! haha road trip farts!
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infected_2

Registered: 08/09/11
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: Gorlax]
#19109140 - 11/09/13 05:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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A high protein diet. Drink a load of protein shakes but don't do any working out.
I've cleared a living room before, 5 male students happy to wallow in their own filth ran from the room gagging as a result of excessive unused protein in my system. It was fairly putrid even to myself.
Morning after beer farts. Brewing a few myself now lol
Edited by infected_2 (11/09/13 05:57 AM)
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The Shape

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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: infected_2]
#19126025 - 11/12/13 12:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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For me its homemade hot wings and IPAs
My GF ends up on the couch by morning
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jomama
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#19354223 - 01/01/14 10:30 AM (10 years, 30 days ago) |
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I had a friend who was a fast food vegan. His ass stench was crippling.
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Acidic_Sloth
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#19355359 - 01/01/14 04:34 PM (10 years, 29 days ago) |
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you just have to be able to menstruate.
i've cleared rooms... on many occasions, even going so far as to clear the room myself only to bring it with me. they're pretty terrible.
-------------------- -- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
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AlienJesus
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#19391475 - 01/09/14 12:36 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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If you want to increase the frequency of your farts try some Calcium supplement pills. Combine that with some other things and you could become a walking biological weapon. 
Eggs sometimes make mine toxic.
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thedirtymac


Registered: 08/11/08
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: AlienJesus]
#19396228 - 01/09/14 10:18 PM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Cabbage, caramelized onions, broccoli, heavy cream, pre-cooked bacon(or anything full of preservatives), protein shakes, and eating too much protein in general, and any food that ferments in your stomach.
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freeofthought
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#19410514 - 01/12/14 10:52 PM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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Mine were pretty heinous the other day. dairy on the lactose intolerant does that, particularly goat cheese
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infected_2

Registered: 08/09/11
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: freeofthought]
#19412262 - 01/13/14 12:24 PM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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Produced gas the other night that even made me gag nevermind the GF. Think I had a dodgy sausage or something that morning. My farts are proper rancid when I've an illness coming on.
Had 1 full night of eye-wateringly bad farts every few minutes that filled the room with a dense cloud followed by a morning on the toilet with my arse like an upside fountain. I've never pissed out my arse so badly before. It defied the laws of physics and got to places in the bowl I didn't think possible.
Fucking hilarious though the night before, totally worth it although the GF certainly wouldn't agree.
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freeofthought
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: infected_2]
#19412334 - 01/13/14 12:53 PM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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I think opiates, and their action in slowing the digestive system make for really bad farts, because you got all that rancid fermenting crap inside of ya. SO opiates + dairy on someone who is lactose intolerant like myself makes it pretty bad, add in a little thai food and badda bing, shit's nasty.
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FlusH
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: freeofthought]
#19412588 - 01/13/14 02:03 PM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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I may have stumbled across a new smelly fart food combo.
About 2 months ago I changed my diet, not sure if this is an influencing factor, but my breakfasts consist of me blending up 1/4 cup raw cranberries, 1 cup shredded kale, frozen berries, ice, and 1/2 cup coconut milk, and then I toss in some chia seeds, psilium fiber, and flax seeds.
So I drank my normal breakfast drink described above.
Then for lunch I had tortilla soup with corn. Then 3 hours later I had a small plate of nachos with beef I had fried up with chillies and cheese.
For supper I then had 3 bowls of corn chowder.
Now this made me constipated for 24 hours since breakfast. BUT.. then I could not stop farting. and the most horrible farts. They smelled EXACTLY like when I would crack open my septic tank for cleaning. Ive been farting for over 36 hours since. the smell has been improving to be more tolerable. But the first few really were horrid
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thedirtymac


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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: FlusH]
#19413214 - 01/13/14 04:37 PM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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This thread is making me giggle a lot. Septic tank farts.
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matttt



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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: thedirtymac]
#19415367 - 01/14/14 12:45 AM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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Most of the time I can't smell my farts, but when I can, they're sulfuric. I don't know that the hell causes that but I can make my house into yellowstone if I'm gassy enough.
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matttt



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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: infected_2]
#19415377 - 01/14/14 12:48 AM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
infected_2 said: Produced gas the other night that even made me gag nevermind the GF. Think I had a dodgy sausage or something that morning. My farts are proper rancid when I've an illness coming on.
Had 1 full night of eye-wateringly bad farts every few minutes that filled the room with a dense cloud followed by a morning on the toilet with my arse like an upside fountain. I've never pissed out my arse so badly before. It defied the laws of physics and got to places in the bowl I didn't think possible.
Fucking hilarious though the night before, totally worth it although the GF certainly wouldn't agree.
It's funny cause your name is infected_2. Damn, I feel bad for her. Send my condolences.
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EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: matttt]
#19416281 - 01/14/14 08:05 AM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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I find the uncooked fermented summer sausages result in some nasty farts, especially if you throw some carbs in there too.
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KGB Is Go
Сталкер



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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: EdibleStereos]
#19424330 - 01/15/14 07:03 PM (10 years, 15 days ago) |
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Hahaha, that IKEA section of the story is funny as.
Chick peas with Garam Masala produces some rather potent inhalables. One time I had quite a lot of this and I was taking this weird 'medication' solution (MMS - chlorine dioxide) and my fumes were so dense, and the fart half-life so lengthy that I thought I must have been leaving skid marks in my undies. You know your farts are bad when even you can't endure them.
Also, while we're on the topic, I let one drop in an Italian class in Primary School one time. Prior to release, we were doing some activity which involved us (the students) walking around the room - I figured this was a good opportunity to let one go. Wow. It was a stinker. I started in one corner of the room and made my way around trying to escape the stench, eventually having travelled the four corners of the room and ending up where I began, with the room well-and-truly saturated with the toxic gas.
Meanwhile, people were holding their noses and trying to escape it themselves. I was trying to escape the trail and any accusations... I knew there was a guy in class, Steven, who let a huge one rip during a silent-test the week before which everyone knew about, so as a diversion I started murmuring, "I think it was Steven" - he had no defence, of course. The perfect crime...
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FlusH
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Re: Food combination for smelliest farts [Re: KGB Is Go]
#19426760 - 01/16/14 08:45 AM (10 years, 15 days ago) |
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Hahaha thats awesome
Last night while I was at the gym, I was the only one there so I was farting away on the tread mill with no worries at all. after 25 min of that, I got onto one of the squat machines, and I had one hell of a fart brewing up. So I let it rip, but with my headphones on I didnt notice that the owner of the gym had entered the building like 2 seconds before I fart. I see in the mirror his look of disgust and at the same time holding back laughing.
I took my head phones off, and appologized. Apparently I had stunk the place up good, he said he could smell what reminded him of crapped pants as soon as he stepped into the building.
Im thinking I should lay off the chia seeds in my morning smoothies
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