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Onlinestzacrack
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Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,869
Loc: United States
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Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread
    #19074733 - 11/02/13 11:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

so i was responding to someone's thread sayin how they were gonna get locked up.

i tried to give them some pointers, but more and more came to mind.

how to carry yourself, what to do, what not to do.

i thought it would be helpful to a community based around illicit activity to have preparedness when it comes to being incarcerated.

drug laws send the unprepared and "undeserving" to jail, or worse prison.

young people have to be careful in prisons.

i'll start.

don't shit in your cell while you're locked in with your bunkie. wait 'til you're all locked out of your cell, ask the CO, and MAKE SURE you continue to hit the flush button during your entire shit.

don't tell somebody you'll give them something, or do something, and then don't do it.
word is all you got.

never grab something from somebody's tray unless they specifically tell it is okay.

you don't give anything free to anybody but your bunkie.

don't show anybody you're scared, but don't look for trouble either. this is a respect game.

i could list a hundred more, but hopefully somebody somewhere gets something out of this if they find themselves in this unfortunate situation.


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OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: stzacrack]
    #19074760 - 11/02/13 11:45 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

don't drop the soap in the showers


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InvisibleMagicman69
All About the Benjamins
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Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: Uzziel]
    #19074769 - 11/02/13 11:47 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Sometimes you HAVE to FIGHT, when this happens don't back down. Take your ass whoopin and try your best.


Edited by Magicman69 (11/02/13 11:49 AM)


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InvisibleSet
candy colored clown
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Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 6,383
Loc: right near da beach Flag
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: stzacrack]
    #19074782 - 11/02/13 11:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)
Log in to view attachment

Check this out ^


--------------------
    classic LOVELINE


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Offlineqman
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Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 2 days, 59 minutes
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: Set]
    #19074794 - 11/02/13 11:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

What's with the obsession with flushing the toilet while one shits?  To keep the image up that their shit doesn't stink?


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 57 minutes
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: qman]
    #19074803 - 11/02/13 12:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

It helps with the smell a lot.. Doesn't completely eliminate it though so no, it's not about the illusion that one's shit doesn't stink. It's called a "courtesy flush", not "the magical my shit don't stink flush" :lol:


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (11/02/13 12:01 PM)


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Invisibleazur
God of Fuck
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Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: qman]
    #19074805 - 11/02/13 12:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Don't reach over anyone's tray.
Don't gamble.
Try to keep to yourself.
Read books you've been wanting to but haven't had time.
Don't start loving jesus if you didn't already-leave that to the tree jumpers.


--------------------


A cube is NOT a cube.

FALL IN LOVE WITH LC
FOTTSE!!!
ALL NOOBS READ THIS!!!



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OfflineMHbound
Ballin Out At All Cost
Male

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 6,512
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: azur]
    #19074818 - 11/02/13 12:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Act crazy. Black people and Mexicans are scared of crazy white people.

That or request protective custody and just read. And act crazy when they feed you.


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: MHbound]
    #19074835 - 11/02/13 12:10 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

MHbound said:
Act crazy. Black people and Mexicans are scared of crazy white people.





is this true :rofl:


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: stzacrack]
    #19074952 - 11/02/13 12:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

this will be interesting. im not that familiar with the "politics" of jail/prison. maybe i should watch some of those tv shows. anyway my friends and family dont make the thought any easier by telling me i will get eaten alive or have to become a neo nazi


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OfflineMHbound
Ballin Out At All Cost
Male

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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: NWlight]
    #19074979 - 11/02/13 12:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Mello Kitty said:
this will be interesting. im not that familiar with the "politics" of jail/prison. maybe i should watch some of those tv shows. anyway my friends and family dont make the thought any easier by telling me i will get eaten alive or have to become a neo nazi




you wouldn't go to prison anyway. anything under 2 years you serve in the county jails. you will get probation but lets assume you don't for saying fuck you judge or something then you still would only get 6 months and serve half of it or some bullshit like that.

Quote:

NWlight said:
Quote:

MHbound said:
Act crazy. Black people and Mexicans are scared of crazy white people.





is this true :rofl:



Fuck yea its true. Blacks more so than Mexicans but they are all scared of crazy white people. Rightfully so, white people are the craziest of them all. There are usually real laid back white people who they can take advantage of and then the white people who will eat your brain...At least that is the way they see it.


--------------------


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: MHbound]
    #19074985 - 11/02/13 12:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

VIVA LA REVOLUCION! AY YI YI YI YI YI!


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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Posts: 8,556
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: stzacrack]
    #19075233 - 11/02/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

im no stranger to institution life so i hope thats a plus. ive been put away in places for months but it wasnt jail. psych wards, detoxes, and rehabs are a breeze. i was put in a state mental institution once and that was a serious nightmare i wont even get into the details. as far as jail ive only been in holding and temporary lock ups like a day, and 3 days a few times and mostly i spent that time in a chemical induced psychosis.


--------------------


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
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Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #19075239 - 11/02/13 01:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Stzacrack, is your user named in honor of Stza from Leftover Crack?


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineBrewmaster
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Registered: 09/27/06
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #19075437 - 11/02/13 02:33 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

LEARN CARD GAMES BEFORE YOU GO!!!

Spades, Rummy and Casino are a must. You might not find anyone willing to teach a noob once you're in.  Someone else said not to gamble but sometimes that's all there is to do and if you have no money in the commissary then it might be entirely necessary.

Also, a good spades partner is an invaluable asset and you might find yourself making all kinds of "friends" or at least guys who have your back.

Don't take free hand-outs unless it's from someone you've gotten to know well. Nothing is free. You don't know what kind of favor someone will be expecting in return next week.

Throw nothing away! Everything has value and can be traded.


--------------------
On storing pedro tea...

Brewmaster: Well, the mescaline will still be in there, but I'd be afraid of it conjealing and trying to escape after it grew in size from eating all the other shit in my fridge, and possibly my dogs if it got out.

Pithlit: sentient drugs, now that is an idea ...

OneMoreRobot: Idea? It's a fuckin' reality. You know Salvia? Nigga stole my TV.


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Onlinestzacrack
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Posts: 3,869
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #19076159 - 11/02/13 05:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
Stzacrack, is your user named in honor of Stza from Leftover Crack?




mann, you know there ain't no such thing as leftover crack!!


....yes sir, yes sir it is. :manofapproval:


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Invisiblevolcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax
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Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 11,231
Loc: Minnesnowta
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: stzacrack]
    #19076186 - 11/02/13 05:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

stzacrack said:
Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
Stzacrack, is your user named in honor of Stza from Leftover Crack?




mann, you know there ain't no such thing as leftover crack!!


....yes sir, yes sir it is. :manofapproval:



:highfive:
Leftover crack is my shit!


--------------------

HAIL SATAN

Vas donc jouer dans le traffic


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Offlinetheburnoutkid
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Registered: 09/12/13
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Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: volcomstoner]
    #19086025 - 11/04/13 03:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

learn how to cook ramen noodles in a sandwich bag of hot tap water


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OfflineAndrew9115
Stranger


Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 75
Loc: 710
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: theburnoutkid]
    #19086099 - 11/04/13 04:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You gotta find your position, everyone has a role or a spot in jail. You just gotta find your nitch

I would personally hustle tobacco or some herb. Somethin not too serious but you know the niggas still want it :goodluckwiththat2:


--------------------


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Official Prepare for Jail/Prison thread [Re: Andrew9115]
    #19086107 - 11/04/13 04:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

that's like the easiest way to start a gang fight lol


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