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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Do you have kids?!
    #19068834 - 11/01/13 08:39 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

And if so, do you regret it?

Be honest.

Those of you who are parents, tell us a bit about the pros and cons.

If you could do it all over, would you do it the same? Have less kids?

More?

Have them when you were older, or younger?

What are the joys and tribulations of parenthood, and would you advise those who don't have kids would you recommend it?



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Everything I post is fiction.


Edited by Moonshoe (11/01/13 08:39 AM)


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,373
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe] * 2
    #19068902 - 11/01/13 09:06 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I've said it before that I don't think I've ever met a parent that regrets having a kid.  It's not socially acceptable to do so.

There's got to be plenty of parents that made a mistake and hate their lives forever because of their kids.  I know it.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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OfflinePLOWTO
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: badchad]
    #19068924 - 11/01/13 09:14 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i don't have kids sorry


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InvisibleB_BOY
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Registered: 07/17/11
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: PLOWTO]
    #19068933 - 11/01/13 09:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:whathesaid:


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:tard:


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InvisibleGilgamesh18
Herbivore Man

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: PLOWTO] * 1
    #19068934 - 11/01/13 09:17 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I will not have kids simply due to the enormous costs associated with raising them.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Posts: 27,202
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: badchad] * 1
    #19068947 - 11/01/13 09:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
I've said it before that I don't think I've ever met a parent that regrets having a kid.  It's not socially acceptable to do so.

There's got to be plenty of parents that made a mistake and hate their lives forever because of their kids.  I know it.




I actually met one woman (she cut my hair) who freely admitted that she deeply regretted having children and was basically miserable because she had traded in her chance to get an education and travel and was now so financially hard pressed to do more than survive.

I think a LOT of people feel that way, but of course no one can say it.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineNelfington
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe]
    #19068963 - 11/01/13 09:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I don't ever plan on having kids since I have schizoaffective disorder and I'd hate to pass on any of my problems to future generations.


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Nelfington]
    #19069020 - 11/01/13 09:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm only 24 but at this point in my life I can't really see myself having kids.  There's many things I want to do with my life that I would not be able to do with kids.  I don't really see the benefit.


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InvisibleGilgamesh18
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Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: pwnasaurus] * 1
    #19069029 - 11/01/13 09:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
I'm only 24 but at this point in my life I can't really see myself having kids.  There's many things I want to do with my life that I would not be able to do with kids.  I don't really see the benefit.



Well if you like throwing money away then kids are great. 500,000 dollars from 0 to 18 is the average cost and thats just one kid. :eek:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Gilgamesh18] * 2
    #19069071 - 11/01/13 10:09 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Gilgamesh18 said:
Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
I'm only 24 but at this point in my life I can't really see myself having kids.  There's many things I want to do with my life that I would not be able to do with kids.  I don't really see the benefit.



Well if you like throwing money away then kids are great. 500,000 dollars from 0 to 18 is the average cost and thats just one kid. :eek:




My parents had four children. I like to think that by not having any I am saving a million dollars or more instantly.

I plan to use that time and money to get my black belt, get a PhD, travel the world and by a cottage in the woods by a lake.

Hopefully.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
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Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe] * 2
    #19069086 - 11/01/13 10:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I have 2 kids myself and have never regretted having kids once.  Yes kids can be expensive but worth it.


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[center


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InvisibleGilgamesh18
Herbivore Man

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe]
    #19069089 - 11/01/13 10:13 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Very nice I to will use the money I earn to improve myself instead of wasting it on a child.


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe]
    #19069090 - 11/01/13 10:13 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I don't think I'll ever have kids. One things that drugs have taught me, especially opiates, is that one shouldn't cling to anything. Having children and getting married is like people's solution to permanently delay the inevitable comedown after popping a molly or snorting some harry. And it's a very futile solution.

I look at my aunt, my parents, my neighbor, my high school teacher, and so forth (basically people who've committed themselves to each other for a long ass time and had children) and all I see are tired, miserable faces completely lacking passion.

When you do heroin or MDMA, during the peak you are often certain that you will be able to integrate the high into your sober life. You feel like that you have found "something" that you can use to put so much joy into your every day life. Love works the same way. While you're in love, you're pretty much on a drug. But the brain can't handle all that oxytocin and serotonin and dopamine and eventually you build up tolerance. It's kind of sad. Then you look at your bloated girlfriend, her laugh is now annoying as hell, her quirky personality is no longer cute but embarrassing, and you're basically fucked if you married her or had a kid.


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


Edited by Alexestalex (11/01/13 10:15 AM)


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19069103 - 11/01/13 10:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Alexestalex said:
I don't think I'll ever have kids. One things that drugs have taught me, especially opiates, is that one shouldn't cling to anything. Having children and getting married is like people's solution to permanently delay the inevitable comedown after popping a molly or snorting some harry. And it's a very futile solution.

I look at my aunt, my parents, my neighbor, my high school teacher, and so forth (basically people who've committed themselves to each other for a long ass time and had children) and all I see are tired, miserable faces completely lacking passion.

When you do heroin or MDMA, during the peak you are often certain that you will be able to integrate the high into your sober life. You feel like that you have found "something" that you can use to put so much joy into your every day life. Love works the same way. While you're in love, you're pretty much on a drug. But the brain can't handle all that oxytocin and serotonin and dopamine and eventually you build up tolerance. It's kind of sad.




I think that being in love and having a romantic partner is definitely worth while. Unlike children, which are basically an expense, a burden and a liability, the right romantic partner can be a powerful ally. My wife makes me life so much easier in every way. She works, earns money, is succesful in academics and career, helps with planning, budgets, household administration, travel itineraries, pet care, housework, shopping etc etc (not to mention being my best friend, lover, masseuse etc).

I think raising children puts a massive drain on ones finances, time, energy and resources, but having the right love partner can do the opposite.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
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Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe] * 3
    #19069163 - 11/01/13 10:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, cuz your money and drugs love you back.

im in my 30's and the happiest people I see are the ones with families.



moments like these make life worth living.


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[center


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InvisibleGilgamesh18
Herbivore Man

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: JohnnieYen] * 3
    #19069186 - 11/01/13 10:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

JohnnieYen said:
Yeah, cuz your money and drugs love you back.

im in my 30's and the happiest people I see are the ones with families.



moments like these make life worth living.



Na id rather take my drugs and cash


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Gilgamesh18] * 3
    #19069198 - 11/01/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I see the appeal of being loved by children but the amount of work I would have to do to support them (and therefore the amount of free time I can have if I don't have kids) outweighs it. If I dont have to work so much and so hard to raise kids I can do things like exercise, meditate, travel and relax, and not feel so much stress and pressure to provide. We can retire much younger, work less, travel more and pursue things like advanced education and hobbies more easily. Its also easier on the environment if we dont reproduce as much (too many humans already by far).

But of course if you want children in life, nothing wrong with that, you have to follow your heart.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: Moonshoe] * 4
    #19069225 - 11/01/13 10:44 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Hey, i'm not telling everyone to have kids. But there just seemed to be a lot of negative stigmas in this thread.

I'm just trying to show a brighter side. That not all parents are unhappy slaves just to give their kids a roof, food and education.

To me, kids are wonderful and I wouldn't regret it for a second.


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[center


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Offlinempd
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: JohnnieYen] * 3
    #19069235 - 11/01/13 10:46 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Mrs. MPD and I raised 6 kids and have 11 grandkids.  It was REALLY hard sometimes and sometimes we were so broke we qualified for every kind of aid there was to give, but we made it.  I love my kids more than anything and would gladly do it all again.  I wouldn't mind having some more, but Mrs. MPD is far too sick for that, so we have what we have and we are very satisfied.


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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InvisibleB_BOY
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Re: Do you have kids?! [Re: mpd]
    #19069240 - 11/01/13 10:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

best wishes to mrs mpd


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:tard:


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