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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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I'm just a fucking robot
#19068816 - 11/01/13 08:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I always had this image in my head that life doesn't get boring until the age of 30.
Wrong.
I used to be so happy, social, loving, appreciating everything in the world.. I was always at events meeting new people, sharing thoughts and ideas. I don't know what I am now.
I feel blank, I work during the week and attend classes. My little free time I have I use to think about death, and what happens when I die. I sleep, and smoke marijauan everyday to help me eat and sleep, and just.. to feel content with being alive. I feel like im programmed to get up early, go to my classes, pound down an energy drink, work until late hours into the night, and repeat. then I get a day every here n there where I can do what I want and I pick to be alone by myself and sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with me, I want to feel alive again..
I was dating the love of my life for over 2 years and now I can't even hold a conversation with her, our relationship is coming to an end because I feel blank, and nothing she does or says makes me feel happy anymore.
Idk, Maybe drugs fucked me up. Not the drugs themselves, but them allowing me to realize things I might have been better not being opened up to. Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz] 1
#19069039 - 11/01/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said: Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
That's mostly an illusion, a front. Everyone suffers man.
You need to break this cycle. Do something different on your down time. Join a club or something. Get some time off and go on a trip with your girl.
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Sleepwalker]
#19069187 - 11/01/13 10:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sleepwalker said:
Quote:
ShroomyBudz said: Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
That's mostly an illusion, a front. Everyone suffers man.
You need to break this cycle. Do something different on your down time. Join a club or something. Get some time off and go on a trip with your girl.
I guess it's true, everyone suffers in their own way. Hopefully with time, my mind, my body, and my soul will heal. I miss being the energetic bundle of good vibes!
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19069232 - 11/01/13 10:45 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Niacin.
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: Niacin.
Are you suggesting I intake more Niacin?
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz] 1
#19069361 - 11/01/13 11:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said: I always had this image in my head that life doesn't get boring until the age of 30.
Wrong.
I used to be so happy, social, loving, appreciating everything in the world.. I was always at events meeting new people, sharing thoughts and ideas. I don't know what I am now.
I feel blank, I work during the week and attend classes. My little free time I have I use to think about death, and what happens when I die. I sleep, and smoke marijauan everyday to help me eat and sleep, and just.. to feel content with being alive. I feel like im programmed to get up early, go to my classes, pound down an energy drink, work until late hours into the night, and repeat. then I get a day every here n there where I can do what I want and I pick to be alone by myself and sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with me, I want to feel alive again..
I was dating the love of my life for over 2 years and now I can't even hold a conversation with her, our relationship is coming to an end because I feel blank, and nothing she does or says makes me feel happy anymore.
Idk, Maybe drugs fucked me up. Not the drugs themselves, but them allowing me to realize things I might have been better not being opened up to. Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
stop smoking weed and jackin off, report back in 2 weeks
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19069362 - 11/01/13 11:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: Niacin.
Are you suggesting I intake more Niacin?
I'm not too familiar with it.
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19069377 - 11/01/13 11:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: Niacin.
Are you suggesting I intake more Niacin?
I'm not too familiar with it.
i agree with anon, quit smoking weed and doing drugs. stop smoking cigarettes also. your burnin out all your happy thought receptors.
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Endure]
#19069409 - 11/01/13 11:20 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Endure said:
Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: Niacin.
Are you suggesting I intake more Niacin?
I'm not too familiar with it.
i agree with anon, quit smoking weed and doing drugs. stop smoking cigarettes also. your burnin out all your happy thought receptors.
I don't do drugs often anymore. I trip about once a month. Do you really think smoking weed is the cause? I'v found it's been nothing but beneficial for me..
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz] 1
#19069450 - 11/01/13 11:34 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't do drugs often anymore. I trip about once a month. Do you really think smoking weed is the cause? I'v found it's been nothing but beneficial for me..
i think you'd be suprised, right now it sounds like you've lost a 'set of feelings and thoughts' that everyone else has, feelings that produce 'warmth inside, like things are right', but this goes away when i smoke weed daily. my attention is focused on my night ritual of smokin weed. and then i feel like i didn't get as much done as i could of during the day. everything seems plain and dull. not even interested in talking to people/girls/guys
some common things people experience on weed: i notice a few things, i dont dream, i appreciate the small things a fuckload less, i appreciate things in general a fuckload less, i eat more (fastfood), i do alot less, i have a less energy, my vocabulary when talking to people is decreased, my eye contact is decreased, and i become Depersonalized, i dont have a great 'sense' of the moment and my own 'wealth' at all compared to other people who do/don't smoke weed. i become a pussy. i always think negative thoughts that are irrelevant, and i honestly wake up feelin 'cloudy' and that used to feel good but is now a total bummer. im taking quitting weed apon myself.
one similiar thing i think about is death, the universe, god, perhaps to much, it becomes depressing. im on youtube looking up 'god debates' with richard dawkins and christopher hitchens, even though i know the answer -.-, i won't know till i die!
thats just me, but this whole notion' that weed 'can't' be the problem, is gods gift, me and my friends love it, is just ignorant talk. a drug, is a drug. period, it has the ability to be used in ways it wasn't meant for, in my case, because i was depressed, i would smoke more, feel good temporarily and then need to smoke more because i felt 10x worse, live in this cycle of shame and drug abuse, along with real problems in life, your heading down a shitty path!
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Endure]
#19069567 - 11/01/13 11:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Endure said:
I don't do drugs often anymore. I trip about once a month. Do you really think smoking weed is the cause? I'v found it's been nothing but beneficial for me..
i think you'd be suprised, right now it sounds like you've lost a 'set of feelings and thoughts' that everyone else has, feelings that produce 'warmth inside, like things are right', but this goes away when i smoke weed daily. my attention is focused on my night ritual of smokin weed. and then i feel like i didn't get as much done as i could of during the day. everything seems plain and dull. not even interested in talking to people/girls/guys
some common things people experience on weed: i notice a few things, i dont dream, i appreciate the small things a fuckload less, i appreciate things in general a fuckload less, i eat more (fastfood), i do alot less, i have a less energy, my vocabulary when talking to people is decreased, my eye contact is decreased, and i become Depersonalized, i dont have a great 'sense' of the moment and my own 'wealth' at all compared to other people who do/don't smoke weed. i become a pussy. i always think negative thoughts that are irrelevant, and i honestly wake up feelin 'cloudy' and that used to feel good but is now a total bummer. im taking quitting weed apon myself.
one similiar thing i think about is death, the universe, god, perhaps to much, it becomes depressing. im on youtube looking up 'god debates' with richard dawkins and christopher hitchens, even though i know the answer -.-, i won't know till i die!
thats just me, but this whole notion' that weed 'can't' be the problem, is gods gift, me and my friends love it, is just ignorant talk. a drug, is a drug. period, it has the ability to be used in ways it wasn't meant for, in my case, because i was depressed, i would smoke more, feel good temporarily and then need to smoke more because i felt 10x worse, live in this cycle of shame and drug abuse, along with real problems in life, your heading down a shitty path!
I respect your opinion, and I see where your coming from.. But I don't think your hitting the nail on the head here.
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz] 1
#19069769 - 11/01/13 12:43 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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of course you don't
"smoke marijauan everyday to help me eat and sleep, and just.. to feel content with being alive."
thats what you just said, i personally think from what i've read, your wordchoice, sounds typical of someone in denial and your justifying your pot usage, and you would benefit from completely quitting weed entirely, but you won't see that until your not 2 feet in the ground but 10 feet in the ground.
weed shouldnt be helping you eat and sleep everyday, i already tried this, your doing more harm then good to your appetite and sleep in the long run, nowadays i believe weed is a truly a recreational drug and really shouldn't be used everyday. people who say theres nothing wrong with it have lowered there standards for living and and feelings for feeling alive, thats all, there living in a fog. everyone but YOU can see this, trust me.
goodluck
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
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osorus
Unfolding the Stone


Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 68
Last seen: 10 years, 3 days
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Endure]
#19070211 - 11/01/13 02:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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hey shroomybudz,
sounds like you're feeling a bit of existential angst man, I was in a similar position myself for most of this year. I know it's not practical for everyone, but what really seemed to help me was some traveling. I'd been on the road for a few weeks, still feeling pretty bummed out, until I met a handful of really great people, all just passing through the same town. We sat up all night talking, took a drunken late night bike ride through the city and got up to all kinds of madness. The key was that it was an opportunity to forget about what 'I should be doing', and just have fun. I woke up one day and had a sense of anticipation for the day ahead that i had not felt since school. It reminded me of how beautiful life can be. All the other issues I had been obsessing about weeks before paled into existence.
I know we all have obligations and taking time out can be difficult, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that these obligations are nothing more than the manifestation of our own personal choices, and if your current circumstances are not reminding you of how beautiful life can be often enough, perhaps its time for a change, or at least a break.
Shake things up a bit, take a trip, try something new or different, or something that's been on your to do list for too long. You'll find that the best of these things are at the edge of your courage, but not past it
If you have some time you might also want to think about your purpose here on this planet, regardless of your spiritual belief. Here's a great video that introduced and inspired me to evolve my own cultural mythology. I hope you enjoy
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Euphoric_rage
Stranger

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 13
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Endure]
#19072262 - 11/01/13 09:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I second what Endure is saying about weed potentially being the cause of, or at the very least exacerbating the problem. I have similar issues with regards to smoking weed everyday. I notice that I become less social and outgoing, and my mood in general becomes rather dull and grey, among other things.
After a week or so of not smoking, I find I return to my usual expressive self. However, I still love weed, and my housemates smoke weed nearly every day, so when I feel fine after a period of abstainance I tend to cycle back into a habit of smoking daily. After five or so straight days, sure enough the feelings return.
I'd recommend not smoking weed for a month, at the very least about two weeks. I think that you'll be suprised about how you feel after a few days. And even if it doesn't aliviate your feelings, at least you'll get a tolerance break so the next time you smoke will be awesome.
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Spacerific
- - - >


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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OP, there's this book and audiobook called The Now Habit, by Neil Fiore. Read it or don't read it, depending on your time, or you may have time to listen to it on your player going to and from classes.
Basically it talks about the concept of Guilt Free Play, which is highly important to happiness. Schedule that shit. Massage with the lovely girl. Sleep over. Sports Sunday, whatever. When tired as fuck on a day off, don't just crash indoors. Go outside crash in a tent somewhere, backpacking in a forest. Actively relax, don't crash indoors.
Take your Omega 3, supplements, maybe try running 10-15 mins first thing in the morning, it goes a LONG way.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19074772 - 11/02/13 11:47 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said:
Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: Niacin.
Are you suggesting I intake more Niacin?
Yep.
Quote:
Niacin (Nicotinic Acid)
Niacinamide (Nicotinamide)
Niacin functions in the body as a component in the coenzymes NAD and NADP which are involved in over 50 chemical reactions in the body.
Niacin containing enzymes play an important role in energy production; fat, cholesterol, and carbohydrate metabolism; and the manufacture of many body compounds including sex and adrenal hormones.
Niacin is essential in the production of energy. It is also involved in blood sugar regulation, antioxidant mechanisms, and detoxification reactions. Niacin supplementation exerts a favorable effect on several health conditions, especially high cholesterol levels. http://www.orthomolecular.com/?ctr=supplement&act=show&id=15
I currently take 3000 to 9000mg everyday and I've noticed a difference in my overall vitality.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Endure is right on.
Op just try giving up weed for a week or two (or 3 if you can)
It really can fog your light if your a habitual smoker.
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Simms
Fuckwit


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,109
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19078802 - 11/03/13 04:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said: I always had this image in my head that life doesn't get boring until the age of 30.
Wrong.
I used to be so happy, social, loving, appreciating everything in the world.. I was always at events meeting new people, sharing thoughts and ideas. I don't know what I am now.
I feel blank, I work during the week and attend classes. My little free time I have I use to think about death, and what happens when I die. I sleep, and smoke marijauan everyday to help me eat and sleep, and just.. to feel content with being alive. I feel like im programmed to get up early, go to my classes, pound down an energy drink, work until late hours into the night, and repeat. then I get a day every here n there where I can do what I want and I pick to be alone by myself and sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with me, I want to feel alive again..
I was dating the love of my life for over 2 years and now I can't even hold a conversation with her, our relationship is coming to an end because I feel blank, and nothing she does or says makes me feel happy anymore.
Idk, Maybe drugs fucked me up. Not the drugs themselves, but them allowing me to realize things I might have been better not being opened up to. Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
I know....
For some people 9 to 5 jobs are not the way. I work a boring ass but stressful job with responsibility. It lacks creativity. And when I don't get it, life turns to hell.
Come home, tired as shit. Try to sleep but can't because of stress.
--------------------
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Simms]
#19119470 - 11/11/13 08:55 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I appreciate everyones opinion, I took what everyone had to say into consideration.
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz]
#19120135 - 11/11/13 11:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've watched my life go that way when I was working full time for a year. My relationship seemed to lose it's worth, I lost interest and hobbies and when I had some spare time I couldn't even use it.
Stopped working, it took me half a year to recover and now I'm back.
I know the answer for me: stupid work depresses the shit out of me.
I started going to a university.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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I'll just be the one to suggest it could be a physical brain problem, since I've had two, schizophrenia and a head injury.
Antidepressants have been said to help brain regeneration, there may be other supplements that help the brain. Research.
Such sadness, such pain, and such monotonous days for me... but especially in the last 6 months my brain has for some reason or another regenerated, I've also switched medications more recently that that.
All the advice in the thread looks good I'm just reminding you the brain can physically shit itself.
And after being all hopeful and being so focused on psychological explanations, it's become obvious to me it's just the brain, and the brain can regenerate, and you can get back to it.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Everything
(~} ;-}



Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: ShroomyBudz] 1
#19134829 - 11/14/13 05:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomyBudz said: I don't know what I am now.
I feel blank, I work during the week and attend classes. My little free time I have I use to think about death, and what happens when I die. I sleep, and smoke marijauan everyday to help me eat and sleep, and just.. to feel content with being alive. I feel like im programmed to get up early, go to my classes, pound down an energy drink, work until late hours into the night, and repeat. then I get a day every here n there where I can do what I want and I pick to be alone by myself and sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with me, I want to feel alive again..
Being a sheep sounds ok right about now.. they seem oh so happy :/
I cut some things out of what you said to make you notice something.
To me it seems like you have become the very sheep you speak of without realizing it, you also say you don't know who you are anymore, I didn't leave that In there.
You have a schedule that your seeming to allow restrict your life. You also may not be on the best diet. I'm not sure of that but I am sure energy drinks are not good for you.
The worst part is you think being a sheep sounds okay right now. You are what you don't want to be but you don't even know it and are constantly in a negative cycle because you want to be this symbol of what you already are and DON'T want to be.
Accept that you are the symbol of the sheep, understand that is NOT what makes you happy.
I recommend to help in aiding you
- stray from your natural routine no matter how much you resist at first.
- love your girlfriend, sex sex sex more sex, talk about your feelings and how you want to change and you love her (it sounds like you do)
- eat healthy, stop eating processed food and cook food with your girlfriend. It's fun and will help you both bond and connect and have things to talk about. Coconut oil, rice, veggies, beans, fish, all types of nuts, fruits eat it all!!!!
- get excersize, go on a run before work or school of you can or bike instead of drive. The excersize will wake you up better than energy drinks and make you feel better...NO CRASH
- accept you don't want to be a sheep, do something you have always wanted to do.
I don't want to push religion on you, please understand I am merely recommending an ideology of a religion to you. It is a Buddhist ideology called "mindfullness". Please do yourself a huge favor and read up on it.
Mindfullness is about thinking consciously in the moment, it's helpful friend meditation can tag right along and guide you, completely through your own thinking to Being happier.
A huge part of mindfullness is thinking in the now, everything is merely an experience whether its good or bad doesn't matter, it's just an experience. Listen to the birds chirp, the wind blow, take in whatever is around you and just be for a moment.
Question why you think and do what you do. When you think negatively or act negatively to someone ask yourself why you do this. Ask yourself why you don't know who you are
ask yourself why you are a sheep
Ask yourself who you are, and give yourself time to think.
Remember it's all good brother
Edited by Everything (11/14/13 05:35 AM)
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Spacerific
- - - >


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Everything]
#19135385 - 11/14/13 09:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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It doesn't have to be Buddhist mindfulness, regular mindfulness works just as well 
See Eckhart Tolle, plenty of vids on yt.
With the girl, massages man, massages are the shit. Give them, get them, oil up all the way to slippery squishy goodness. Put on candles and get those massages going. Don't talk about school, don't talk about anything if there's nothing good to talk about, just get naked and get massaging. Take turns, one evening at a time.
More talking is NOT what you need, you need positive sensory experiences to unwind fully. In one week you'll be a different person, in fact you'll both be 
Don't be a pussy OP, buy some massage oil TODAY and show your girl a good time, before she finds someone else who will
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Everything
(~} ;-}



Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Spacerific]
#19138063 - 11/14/13 08:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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He's right messages are awesome!
Coconut oil is really good lube and massage oil and healthy! You should get some!
Also, do you have any nature in your area? It's really Nice to unwind in the woods, and it's also a great place to Have sex with your girlfriend!
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ShroomyBudz
지혜



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 4,494
Loc: Space Cadet
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I'm just a fucking robot [Re: Everything]
#19195645 - 11/27/13 09:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thank you guys so much for all the help you have been offering me!
The shroomery really is full of great, wise people. I have been thinking a lot more positively lately and taking time to do things I enjoy.
Unfortunately, Me and the girlfriend are no longer together. Sex felt a chore, and I feel we may have grew apart too much. I went with the approach of starting new.. Everything that is.. New attitude, new friends, and hopefully a new and final love in my life!
Again, thank you so much everyone, these have been some of the darker days in my life and you guys bring me the light !
-------------------- . Explore the unknown! Love forever & always..
me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily!
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