So the last time I took a psychedelic it was blotter. This was the first time I did one that wasn't pure white but I ate it anyways. Subsequently it tasted pretty terrible unlike any blotter I had before this experience, it was nasty. I was with a friend and figured marijuana would help slide into the experience and quite the opposite had happened. I took this giant rip and went to smoke a cigarette and halfway there a heavy sense of doom came over me. I hadn't tripped for about a year and a half and this stuff was telling me "you can't handle whats coming". I went back inside and had to sit down. The first thing I noticed, and my friend saw the same exact thing. He was seeing exactly what I saw. There was this pattern on the wall and it looked like a huge collage of dead actors and musicians. At this point I was definitely out of my element and I had to turn on something to watch because I couldn't handle movement. We watched Pink Floyd Pulse and the graphics in the top center of the stage were so heavy that it felt like I was living in someones memories just by watching it. It was beautiful but at the same time it was hard to deal with. Time was definitely useless at this point because it didn't matter what the clock said. I thought very deeply of my marijuana use in this experience and vowed to myself that I wouldn't smoke pot for the sake of my family. I needed to be there for them and not in seclusion away from them. I really realized how important my relationship was with my family and it did change my ways very quickly. While I did have some good laughs with my friend, the whole time I was thinking about my family and how much I loved them. I felt almost like a child this day, like everything about being a adult sort of melted away and I was innocent again. After about 5 or 6 hours we watched Life of Siddhartha which the beginning made me laugh hysterically because it said "he would have to face his most inner demons" and that was exactly what I was going through. It was a beautiful documentary in this mind frame and I felt somehow connected to this even though I smoke cigarettes. After this my friend wanted to go to his place so I had to drive him there and I was still pretty under although it was winding down. My friend said "there are still some fumes" and I laughed at that but was pretty apprehensive about driving. I made sure to hang out with my dad and appreciated how intelligent he is (he didn't know I had tripped). I got home after hanging with him and my mom came home and I broke down in tears and told her I was going to be there and was going to stop smoking pot to make her happy and I knew that stopping smoking pot is what I truly wanted. I also wanted to make her happy though because she had been through some heavy shit with me. Anyways that is my experience with what I think was 25i or some shulgin chemical. Even though it was rough, it turned out to be a very learning experience.
-------------------- "As I walk on through troubled times my spirit gets so downhearted sometimes so where are the strong and who are the trusted? And where is the harmony? Sweet harmony. Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry. What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?" - Nick Lowe "Psychedelic drugs don't change you - they don't change your character - unless you want to be changed. They enable change; they can't impose it...” - Sasha Shulgin
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