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FrankHorrigan
The Inquisition



Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 10,573
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: SpitballJedi]
#19237792 - 12/06/13 06:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
SpitballJedi said: I swear
By the moon and the stars in the sky?
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BittrBuffalo
Deaconica

Registered: 05/19/13
Posts: 1,729
Loc: Church of the SubGenus
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: FrankHorrigan]
#19237916 - 12/06/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
FrankHorrigan said:
Quote:
SpitballJedi said: I swear
By the moon and the stars in the sky? 

I'll be there, FrankHorrigan.
-------------------- Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction, provided for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, past or present, is strictly coincidental. All celebrity voices are impersonated. If you begin your ID request with, "I just ate a bunch of these mushrooms…should I not have done that?" I'm just gonna sit back and watch Darwin at work.
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SpitballJedi
Ancient Astronaut



Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 8,598
Loc: Nibiru
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: FrankHorrigan]
#19237917 - 12/06/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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LOL. Just continuing the Bon Jovi "Livin On A Prayer" joke.
-------------------- The Basics A little civility goes a long way The Noob Forum The Hammock Hangers' Forum
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BittrBuffalo
Deaconica

Registered: 05/19/13
Posts: 1,729
Loc: Church of the SubGenus
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19237930 - 12/06/13 06:44 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Which reminds me...Midwest has a 24/7 mushroom hotline, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. No shit, y'all.
So why do you guys think the kits come with such senselessly shitty teks? They're not that much less involved than doing it properly. I have a suspicion that it has something to do with assuring repeat business through plausible deniability. Since shit can feasibly go awry at any stage of the game, it might be easy to blame the contam on faulty syringes rather than, say, improperly pre-sterilized BRF jars that came with the kit. But that seems exceedingly stupid, if only because it would be a major customer service nightmare.
Midwest's business model relies primarily on using most of the information available here on the Shroomery (I guess they presume noobs do a little nominal research on the internet and find the ubiquitous PF tek) with the promise of having special insider tips and secrets the other guys don't want you to know, that you'll be privy to as soon as you purchase your kit. There are also special ingredients in their BRF jars, such as fairy dust and unicorn farts, that guarantee you better mushrooms. All of this sounds great and makes sense to someone who doesn't know any better.
-------------------- Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction, provided for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, past or present, is strictly coincidental. All celebrity voices are impersonated. If you begin your ID request with, "I just ate a bunch of these mushrooms…should I not have done that?" I'm just gonna sit back and watch Darwin at work.
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BittrBuffalo
Deaconica

Registered: 05/19/13
Posts: 1,729
Loc: Church of the SubGenus
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19237983 - 12/06/13 07:00 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Shit...my bad...it's not 24/7...it's only Monday through Friday 11-5 central. I could've sworn there was some 24/7 mushroom support action going on there. We should totally prank call them, though. We can tell them there was a big ass human turd that came in one of our jars.
-------------------- Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction, provided for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, past or present, is strictly coincidental. All celebrity voices are impersonated. If you begin your ID request with, "I just ate a bunch of these mushrooms…should I not have done that?" I'm just gonna sit back and watch Darwin at work.
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anne halonium
jaguarette


Registered: 05/07/13
Posts: 1,908
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19238005 - 12/06/13 07:07 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
BittrBuffalo said: big ass human turd that came in one of our jars.
..... omg , i cant say it
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FrankHorrigan
The Inquisition



Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 10,573
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19239121 - 12/06/13 11:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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BittrBuffalo
Deaconica

Registered: 05/19/13
Posts: 1,729
Loc: Church of the SubGenus
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: FrankHorrigan]
#19242618 - 12/07/13 09:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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You know you want to FrankHorrigan. Perhaps a flaming bag of poo on their doorstep would be more apropos. We shall go on a quest.
-------------------- Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction, provided for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, past or present, is strictly coincidental. All celebrity voices are impersonated. If you begin your ID request with, "I just ate a bunch of these mushrooms…should I not have done that?" I'm just gonna sit back and watch Darwin at work.
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twistedty
Forcefully Retired



Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 5,487
Loc: Middle
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19243461 - 12/08/13 02:38 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
BittrBuffalo said:
You know you want to FrankHorrigan. Perhaps a flaming bag of poo on their doorstep would be more apropos. We shall go on a quest.
flaming bag of poo tek is so billy madison
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SpitballJedi
Ancient Astronaut



Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 8,598
Loc: Nibiru
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: twistedty]
#19244276 - 12/08/13 10:11 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I think Billy prefers penguin poo.
-------------------- The Basics A little civility goes a long way The Noob Forum The Hammock Hangers' Forum
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Pastywhyte
Say hello to my little friend



Registered: 09/15/12
Posts: 37,810
Loc: Canada
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: SpitballJedi]
#19694487 - 03/14/14 08:34 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Been seeing a lot of "I bought a grow kit and its green" threads lately. Think this could use a bump.
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bodhisatta 
Smurf real estate agent



Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 61,889
Loc: Milky way
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: Pastywhyte]
#19694499 - 03/14/14 08:42 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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"how can I save it?"
Toss it out
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BittrBuffalo
Deaconica

Registered: 05/19/13
Posts: 1,729
Loc: Church of the SubGenus
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: bodhisatta]
#19700481 - 03/15/14 02:50 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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And the ubiquitous "How Do I Macgyver My Shitty Grow Kit Into Something Useable?" threads…
Hey, anyone reading this who's had the misfortune of getting nailed in the testicles through their wallet by using a grow kit and getting shit results and has thusly come to Jesus: post pics. We won't be dicks. Well, I won't be a dick. You'll be supporting the cause.
(It totally would take balls to do it, so everyone, don't rub their nose in it with the "shoulda" routine, unless it's something like, "Ew! You shoulda mailed the infested kit back to them wrapped in a sexy negligee that you purchased from a homeless tranny.")
-------------------- Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction, provided for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, past or present, is strictly coincidental. All celebrity voices are impersonated. If you begin your ID request with, "I just ate a bunch of these mushrooms…should I not have done that?" I'm just gonna sit back and watch Darwin at work.
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Pastywhyte
Say hello to my little friend



Registered: 09/15/12
Posts: 37,810
Loc: Canada
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: BittrBuffalo]
#19700506 - 03/15/14 02:58 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
BittrBuffalo said: (It totally would take balls to do it, so everyone, don't rub their nose in it with the "shoulda" routine, unless it's something like, "Ew! You shoulda mailed the infested kit back to them wrapped in a sexy negligee that you purchased from a homeless tranny.")

My response is always the same; Build a SGFC and pray for the best. Do some research and never buy a kit again. Course that is not often what people want to hear
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shocker
Stranger

Registered: 04/05/14
Posts: 73
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: Andrew9115]
#19805440 - 04/06/14 08:34 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Andrew9115 said: Okay so i saw this thread and instantly started laughing, it really was perfect timing ...Im going to admit to everyone im new to growing and actually purchased a grow kit from Midwest grow kits which arrive last monday( 10/21/2013, and i completely regret it
Once i finally opened the box i realized what i payed $100 for would only cost me around $40, and that i probably could have just ran to Walmart,pulled out the website on my phone and built the damn thing myself....I am not saying the quality of the kit is bad,or that the company themselves are bad, im just saying its very basic and definitely not worth the price
Ill end off on a good note though, Midwest's pre sterilized jars are fantastic however, and for a first time grow im showing some pretty promising signs of inoculation and no contamination ( knock on wood ) So for all you noobs like me out there....DONT BUY THE KIT PURELY FOR THE FINANCIAL ASPECT....take it from a someone who learned it the hard way and just pull up a TEK from this site
Cheers!
I bought the Mega kit. Like you, I was very dissapointed. You are correct about the jars though. And I must say. Seeing everything put together in front of my eyes really did make everything I had been reading come to life. I can't wait to build my own set up, now that I can officially say I have done it before.
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MudaFuka
Poppin bottles



Registered: 12/14/13
Posts: 18,648
Loc: Canada
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: shocker]
#19805490 - 04/06/14 08:45 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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There pre sterilized jars are the wrong size. You want short wide mouth 1/2 pints for BRF cakes.
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Lostkey
all eyes


Registered: 04/12/13
Posts: 133
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: SpitballJedi]
#19805525 - 04/06/14 08:52 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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Grow kits only suck because they take advantage of the uninformed consumer , yes the consumer does have the obligation to do some research to protect himself but some of the 100 to 200 dollar set ups are ridiculous. It kinda reminds me of the e-cig market and selling those 7 dollor batteries for upwards of 50 dollars.
Now at the same time I do like being able to buy pre made spawn bags or manure bags, that are done by experienced person's
Edited by Lostkey (04/06/14 08:54 PM)
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Myco_wizard
Let the magic begin...



Registered: 04/02/14
Posts: 209
Loc: Cosmos
Last seen: 7 years, 19 days
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: Lostkey]
#19805546 - 04/06/14 08:57 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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They look really promising with a bunch of gadgets and equipment, humidity generators and guarantees of AMAZING YIELDS and then shit all over you with overpricing, and shit all over you with ease of use, and shit all over you with low yields, and messed up fruits. Bottom line, kits make your balls shrink.
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MudaFuka
Poppin bottles



Registered: 12/14/13
Posts: 18,648
Loc: Canada
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: Lostkey]
#19805547 - 04/06/14 08:57 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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I hate the idea of pre made spawn and substrate. Why the hell would I trust a stranger to do soothing I know I can do myself.
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Lostkey
all eyes


Registered: 04/12/13
Posts: 133
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Re: The Official "Grow Kits Suck" Thread [Re: MudaFuka]
#19805701 - 04/06/14 09:30 PM (9 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
MudaFuka said: I hate the idea of pre made spawn and substrate. Why the hell would I trust a stranger to do soothing I know I can do myself.
True but it does serve a purpose for people with out a PC.
Edited by Lostkey (04/06/14 09:43 PM)
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