I bought two tabs(or w.e they're called) of Ecstasy but after I took them I started acting contrary to how someone "should" act under the influence of it...Well apparently E makes you become much more euphoric, sympathetic, kind, but it actually did the complete opposite. I became enraged, I started to pace around in an absolute fury, I was challenging the laws of nature, I called random people out on the spot as if we were at Hogwarts and I drew my wand before they could pull it out and pointed it at their head and indicated I wished to duel. Ofc, I probably came off as a complete joke with my intense stare which signified that I was a hound awaiting his next piece of meat and eagerly pursuing it as if it was the last meat on the face of the earth.
Someone said they wished to punch me. Now, indeed, I wasn't the kind of person inclined to "fight" in that manner, but instead, with words, which ofc can be quite penetrating as we all know. Words are weapons, they can inflict terror upon others by them revealing the source where they sprung up from(which sometimes actually, *shock* have meaning and aren't just produced because they just "had to be produced". Now, I was blatantly acting like an overbearing imperial Roman militant whom would force people to listen to him, for if they didn't he would compel their attention to the fact that he was controlling them...
I kind of liked this superhuman feeling, but I thought it felt more like a speed or coke high for I didn't think you got angry on E, actually, last time I did E I was so friendly and nice that it actually was strange because I was overly "lovey dovey" (to random people too lol as if, them being alive was some miracle I had to rejoice in..)
Well lets just say it got ugly fast. I went outside and I started pacing back and forth for atleast 20 minutes as if preparing to proceed to the ritual to assassinate everyone. I could tell this whole "hey look at me, emotional roused up, menacing aspect which signified that he was about to cut someones head off was probably something people easily mocked, tho, if they did laugh at me they had something else coming for I was quite intensely seriously on obliterating them.)
I became extremely emotional. Everything I said was with a vehement desire to convey the meaning of some vague suggestion to reduce the forces of others to near zero. Whatever source to presented to me would instantly be mocked in such precision that it was blatantly obviously I was just there to cause trouble. Well it all went pretty well at first, I felt at the top of the world, as if I could do anything, challenge anyone, talk to anyone, interrupt anyone even if they were strangers, I had it all.
I even engaged in a battle of wits against a group of nerds playing chest and came out on top (imo since they don't have the gift of gab such as myself its hard not to be enchanted by the ancient tongue that produces golden adjectives and pronounces the word Tiger with two t's...Also I don't regard saying curse words as correlating to any amount of intelligence I should like to extract for future reference. Myself, being blessed with such a massive source of crops which produce such major offsprings knew I'd have more than adequate enough resources without having to stoop so low as saying things such as "I want to punch him in the face, I hate him".
Now after this showdown ended I went around the college campus(I know college not the best idea? Well honestly I'm pretty well desperate for a gf and I thought E would finally allow me to attain it much more easily, however, I soon found that I was quite wrong in my prediction.) Well let's just say I completely lost it. No literally, I lost it. I was a rambling madman bursting out with the most random words which didn't even come out coherent, I would put together words that shouldn't even be next to each other, as if just purposely putting them their to mindfuck people or to just annoy them, or perhaps just being under a drug that didn't enable me to form a clear sentence. I'll try to create an example of what I would say. This is about 2 hours I dosed, for some reason after that I couldn't control myself from saying these things, noone could stop me, and I felt like a complete retard because I had no control over what I said despite knowing I'm quite acute. Oh god... I started to change my voice in a manner that suggested that I was a loony, no, literally, have you ever known some crazy way of making a noise? Well, think of that high pitch sound you hear mad people say, it was something similar to that.
Its kind of that sound you would make when playing with your cat when you knew noone else around you would hear it...Or...not even a "high pitched sound" but like, almost that sound that's half gremlin half human...all I can say is jesus dude I cannot imagine how people saw me that day but they must have found me indeed entertaining.
Anyways I was crazy. I looked like a madman that just came out of an asylum and was wandering around the campus scaring people. I started following this girl...telling her not to leave me saying I knew her mother was looking for me...that I knew her before she first atlked to me...all these crazy assertions lool...people could tell Iwasn't right, that I was on something for I'm usually quite inclined to assume a haughty reserved disposition. I followed her to her car and tried to prevent her from leaving with her mom....when they drove off I started running after the car...I thought I was going to get in trouble but for some reason they didnt call the police perhaps they felt me more funny than scary lol...hmmm.
Whatever its over with, done, erased from my memory as far as I'm concerned (hey everydays a new day huh?) If people want to hold it against me, well, I'm not inclined to regard it as a matter of importance. It most likely will just be talked about by everyone who saw me go insane without anyone being able to stop me... I literally didn't stop talking for 3 hours, and I wasn't talking to anyone particular, just anyone who was willing to "listen" anyone that was "nearby", so, it was pretty strange afterwards(I actually was in the lobby walking to the front to the end talking to myself while looking at people who probably didn't wish to get involved bc obv reasons. I'm extremely upset that someone would mix some other chemical into my drug, but its what I deserve for not getting it from a dealer that I knew could secure me a legit drug. Its okay though, despite making a fool out of myself there it always tomorrow, for I dare them to defy my imperial command for them to halt all their events for indeed I shall reek havoc on them, I shall sacrifice their bodies to the moon, I shall do things that noone knew the name to, I shall inherit the Earth and rule my Imperial rule as gods command, I shall become what they could not, I shall summon Lethe, I shall conjure up the world of the Underword and lest they know a magician as singular as I I indeed don't regard them as a trifle important in comparison to such an influential (albeit, yesterday that influence was more for retarded education for I was repeating myself at times, others times not so much.)
I actually was walking in circles and saying the same things at times, but in subtle variations, but usually it was about the same thing...Paris...Pro Tennis...London indeed. Aristocratic circles, exclusiveness, parties, invites...You know me(if you read my posts alot & indeed you know how snobbish I can become especially when a Roman Emperor is forced to compel his attention to plebeians whom know not his name, and indeed do not deserve to be in the company of such a prestige figure.)
I want to get some more for the sheer fact that I felt much more courageous than usual, all my shyness nearly disappeared and I was a much more confident person, albeit, I am usually quite confident in myself(once I get "comfy" with someone) but with it I felt I could do anything so... Well I've been single for 22 years and as(some of you maybe) a virgin also and I'd rather take some drug and get a girl than miss out. I know its kind of cheating but really I deserve it. I can take the easy way out for ONCE. I mean, you see my posts...my mind is a complete torture chamber. I write all these paragraphs and for what? Why shouldn't I be crowned with love? I don't even want so much the sex, just someone that you can feel genuinely relates and loves you. But then the sex is also just as important. This time instead of taking 2 I'll just take one and see what happens but damn that was a nightmare I actually thought I was going to die for a second because I would feel my entire mouth was dry and felt I was suffocating. Only reason I didn't was because my sister came and saved my life. She would remind me to drink(I wouldn't even acknowledge that she was next to me, just walking around and ignoring her while saying all these random things, y'know how I get). Sis also recorded it (damn her. She will share it with her friends lol. And I know she will because I'm usually the quietest person ever. Prob wish to see me in my "unstoppable mad rage". Eh nice feeling tho. Sorry for the "long" post.
Edited by drkkenny (10/29/13 12:26 PM)
|