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Global_Roaming
purity of essence



Registered: 06/06/13
Posts: 300
Loc: over the fucking rainbow....
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: Mescalean] 1
#19047714 - 10/28/13 06:11 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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There's no reason why you can't be a nice guy while also giving off some seriously animalistic sexual vibes. All it takes is one look or a sensual touch and the girl knows you mean business.
Personally, I think the best way to get laid is to first allow the girl to like you (ie. nice, caring, self-assured, but not clingy or dependent, be interested in her) then at the right moment let her know in a non-threatening way that you're a sexual powerhouse who'd dominate her in bed (seriously, all it takes is a flash of eyes and a sensual brush of the hand across her cheek or back) - this can happen in the course of an hour, or over days/weeks.
IMHO, subtext is everything with women.
EDIT: For the record, I didn't understand any of this when I was a young buck (teens to mid-twenties). I'm not particularly handsome (objectively a 6.5/10, but in good shape) and somehow I ended up with a gorgeous girlfriend, but in the last few years (I'm now 35) and since I developed my confidence, I've had women make themselves available to me who I'd previously thought were waaaaay out of my league.
-------------------- /peace out brothers and sisters

Edited by Global_Roaming (10/28/13 06:26 PM)
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Magenta
I care!!



Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty
Last seen: 2 months, 6 days
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Quote:
RiderOnTheStorm said: It's all about human behavior. Nice guys don't get laid because they make themselves available to the woman they're after. Women, much like men, usually want what they cannot have, this is why they go after the player, alpha, whatever. If they could just get him tonight, maybe they could keep him, change him, and establish massive social value.
A study was done with a pidgeon.
The pidgeon would peck at a metal bar and receive a piece of food, but in different variations of the experiment the pidgeon would get the food at different rates.
When the pidgeon got the piece of food 100% of the time it pecked the bar, the pidgeon took the bar for granted and only returned to it when it needed food.
When the pidgeon never received food it gave up interest in the bar after only pressing it a few times.
When the pidgeon got the food 70% of the time and nothing 30%, it pecked the bar like it's life depended on it. It became a slave to the metal bar.
That is why your Friendzone Fiona sits there and bitches about her man but will never leave him. He makes her peck. You are the metal bar that is taken for granted.
I enjoyed that. Good read.
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: 245willow19] 10
#19081817 - 11/03/13 06:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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This is why I think that most people's social skills stop developing after high school.
This whole "nice guy" vs "alpha-male" idea is just as stupid as the "skater" vs "jock" stereotype; it's a high school mentality.
It's not real.
People live out roles that they create for themselves.
What's interesting, is that there seems to be a belief that whatever "role" you played in high school will stick with you for the rest of your life.
This is why you see 55 year old men wearing Letterman's jackets at high school football games.
It's fucking pathetic.
Real life is nothing like "The Breakfast Club".
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: Poor Boy]
#19081869 - 11/03/13 06:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poor Boy said: theres a code...
when you first meet a chick you must follow this.
ass hole... nice... ass hole... ass hole... ass hole... nice... nice... ass hole... nice...
from then on its your choice.
And you should always fallow this formula because their is no variance in humans or situation.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: Mr. Material] 2
#19081887 - 11/03/13 06:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. Material said: This is why I think that most people's social skills stop developing after high school.
This whole "nice guy" vs "alpha-male" idea is just as stupid as the "skater" vs "jock" stereotype; it's a high school mentality.
It's not real.
People live out roles that they create for themselves.
What's interesting, is that there seems to be a belief that whatever "role" you played in high school will stick with you for the rest of your life.
This is why you see 55 year old men wearing Letterman's jackets at high school football games.
It's fucking pathetic.
Real life is nothing like "The Breakfast Club".

Best post in the thread by far.
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spixce
Up, Up & Away



Registered: 06/29/13
Posts: 4,451
Loc: AZ
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: Mr. Material] 1
#19082127 - 11/03/13 07:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. Material said: This is why I think that most people's social skills stop developing after high school.
This whole "nice guy" vs "alpha-male" idea is just as stupid as the "skater" vs "jock" stereotype; it's a high school mentality.
It's not real.
People live out roles that they create for themselves.
What's interesting, is that there seems to be a belief that whatever "role" you played in high school will stick with you for the rest of your life.
This is why you see 55 year old men wearing Letterman's jackets at high school football games.
It's fucking pathetic.
Real life is nothing like "The Breakfast Club".
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Quote:
RiderOnTheStorm said: It's all about human behavior. Nice guys don't get laid because they make themselves available to the woman they're after. Women, much like men, usually want what they cannot have, this is why they go after the player, alpha, whatever. If they could just get him tonight, maybe they could keep him, change him, and establish massive social value.
A study was done with a pidgeon.
The pidgeon would peck at a metal bar and receive a piece of food, but in different variations of the experiment the pidgeon would get the food at different rates.
When the pidgeon got the piece of food 100% of the time it pecked the bar, the pidgeon took the bar for granted and only returned to it when it needed food.
When the pidgeon never received food it gave up interest in the bar after only pressing it a few times.
When the pidgeon got the food 70% of the time and nothing 30%, it pecked the bar like it's life depended on it. It became a slave to the metal bar.
That is why your Friendzone Fiona sits there and bitches about her man but will never leave him. He makes her peck. You are the metal bar that is taken for granted.
In my opinion, it's great to keep this in mind if you're dating more than one person at a time. However, if you are genuinely interested in one person, staying aloof and unattainable might just make it easier for them to forget about you. I think this is where honesty, boldness and confidence become crucial. You need to be honest with your intentions (you're not trying to be her friend); and you need to be bold enough to make your intentions known early on - while having the confidence to move on if necessary.
I'm positive that if you're honest, bold and confident - you'll never be in "The Friend Zone" again.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: broken] 1
#19082202 - 11/03/13 07:38 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
Poor Boy said: theres a code...
when you first meet a chick you must follow this.
ass hole... nice... ass hole... ass hole... ass hole... nice... nice... ass hole... nice...
from then on its your choice.
And you should always fallow this formula because their is no variance in humans or situation. 

This is why I think a lot of people fail at relationships because they are stuck in a rut "playing games" - and don't know how to do much else.
I think this is why we see so many women who only respond to negativity, and so many guys who only know how to treat women like shit.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Magenta
I care!!



Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty
Last seen: 2 months, 6 days
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: Mr. Material]
#19083950 - 11/04/13 01:54 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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The example you give of a 55 year old wearing a football jacket is completely irrelevant to this conversation. The poor guy continues to wear that jacket because he was obviously a player back in high school, and after school he wasn't good enough to advance further and pursue a football carer. Unfortunately he directed all his attention on football while at school and lacked any other skills, knowledge or interest to pursue a different carer. He got a shitty job and constantly says 'if only i could go back and know what i know now.' This is the critical point, instead of growing in an unexpected direction, he keeps looking back on the past, and refuses to grow, and ultimately become quite miserable person. His son took up football, (probably pressured to do so) and the father relives his glory days through him.
I agree that people do live out the roles they create for them selves. Each woman is different, but the aim in my instructions was inform the op of a way to behave that will be attractive to the majority of women. There exist gender roles, and people are always (there may be some exceptions) attracted to a person that is playing the opposite gender role. Woman usually play the female gender role, and men usually play the male gender role. With this in mind, if a man decides to play the female gender role, he will obviously have a lot less opportunities to have sex. The 'nice guy' the one that falls into the friend zone time after time does so because he wants the sex so bad, he's willing to do anything for her. By doing anything the girl wants, the 'nice guy' inevitably ends up playing some of the female gender roles, and the woman never gains any attraction for him.
I do not recommend people becoming an asshole, because there is a middle ground that works even better, but 'the asshole' or 'jerk' is able to get woman because he isn't afraid to push the woman away a little bit. He makes the women crave him. It works because he forces the women to do one of three things, either walk away, argue, or become supplicative. If a woman is one of the first two, he's lost out, but if the woman supplicates, then she will also be forced to play some parts of the female gender role. It will make her feel feminine and if the guy knows what he's doing, he can be in.
My instructions were given to instruct the op how to act to play the male gender role, to get maximum positive results. There are a lot of other things to take into consideration that could affect the op's success, but i'm participating on message board, not writing a book.
For the record, I am not a psychologist, and do not claim to be. I am simply a person who used to have poor social skill. I have studied several social dynamics books, and put many of the things into practice. I have pulled my skills up to just above the standard of most individuals, but i also still have a lot of things to learn and many more to perfect.
By the way, i'm pretty sure Poor Boy was joking around.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: 245willow19] 2
#19083987 - 11/04/13 02:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Because 'nice guys' are often not half as nice as they consider themselves to be. They are exactly the same as the bad boys, but more insecure and imbued with a false sense of moral superiority. There's nothing nice about that. The *really* nice guys do get laid, no problem.
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NotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: koraks]
#19083994 - 11/04/13 02:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: Because 'nice guys' are often not half as nice as they consider themselves to be. They are exactly the same as the bad boys, but more insecure and imbued with a false sense of moral superiority. There's nothing nice about that. The *really* nice guys do get laid, no problem.
Id say number six of this cracked article way is another good way of saying this http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ Hers the part for those of us to lazy to click the link
Quote:
#6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You
Getty
Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.
Getty "OK, which one is the injured one?"
You ask, "Are you a doctor?"
The guy says, "No."
You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."
At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.
Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my (wife/husband/best friend/parent) is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"
Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?
In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."
Getty "I don't get it. Would it help if I put on a lab jacket? Here, one sec, let me just ..."
So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.
If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.
Getty "Here's that shit you needed. Now fuck off."
Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.
Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ...
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/#ixzz2jfOFHGNX
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: Why nice guys can't get girls/laid? [Re: koraks]
#19084279 - 11/04/13 06:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: Because 'nice guys' are often not half as nice as they consider themselves to be. They are exactly the same as the bad boys, but more insecure and imbued with a false sense of moral superiority. There's nothing nice about that. The *really* nice guys do get laid, no problem.
This is true.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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