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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Do you see being single as some kind of failure?
#19025900 - 10/24/13 02:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I was listening to a radio show with a sexologist/psychotherapist as the host and the subject was celibacy and how people feel about it.
There was a part where people were happy to be with themselves alone to get to know themselves better, etc.
Then there was the segment of unhappy single people. She brought up social pressure from friends and family to get a lover and not be the third wheel. She was also talking about being ashamed of going to parties alone and being alone in general. Then she brought up that some people see being single as a social failure and that people might be judging them or telling them not to be too picky.
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal] 7
#19025917 - 10/24/13 02:05 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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just got out of a 4 year relationship
after the depression ended, the freedom was almost overwhelming.
I live alone too so I can literally do w/e the fuck I want, whenever I want, with whoever, wherever.
any time of day or night with nobody to answer to but myself.
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nannybooboo

Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 325
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19025927 - 10/24/13 02:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I love being single. Goin 6yrs and strong.
Sometimes i feel like it would be nice to be in a relationship again, then i hang out with a couple and change my mind. Maybe in a few years i'll date again but i don't think i'm ready yet.
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Set
candy colored clown


Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 6,383
Loc: right near da beach
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19025928 - 10/24/13 02:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I see it as holding out for someone I fully want to be with.
When I meet the right girl, I know.
I'm having fun being single at the moment. When you put pressure on yourself to get into a relationship you're missing the point, I think. It's healthy to be able to be content with your own company.
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classic LOVELINE
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19025940 - 10/24/13 02:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I find it's about 1000 times better than forcing oneself to stay in an unhappy relationship. I think many people force themselves to stay in relationships where they are unhappy because they are afraid of being alone.
There is some social pressure though. It's kinda weird hanging with a couple just by yourself sometimes. The 3rd wheel syndrome, but I just try to not concern myself with such things.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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kneesocks
Divineress



Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 870
Loc: Puget Sound/PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19025956 - 10/24/13 02:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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It's not a failure.
-------------------- "An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt; A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next." -Bhagavad-gita 4:40
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19025962 - 10/24/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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i aint judging.
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NotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: zZZz] 1
#19025995 - 10/24/13 02:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Being single is only a failure if your trying not to be single and failed
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NotTheDevil] 6
#19026010 - 10/24/13 02:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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EVERYBODYS TOGETHER EVERYTHING IS ONE
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Sheekle]
#19026035 - 10/24/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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you need more acid sheek
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight] 11
#19026170 - 10/24/13 02:50 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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being single kinda rocks..
i went to a wedding alone.. i was the best man.. his new found wife got all bitchy and said, why the fuck would you come to my wedding alone?
i told her because im going to bang your best friend tonight.
she got quiet.
i banged her friend.
thats my single story for the afternoon.
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Beefcakemighty
Carpetshark



Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 1,601
Loc: Midgar
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026218 - 10/24/13 02:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: being single kinda rocks..
i went to a wedding alone.. i was the best man.. his new found wife got all bitchy and said, why the fuck would you come to my wedding alone?
i told her because im going to bang your best friend tonight.
she got quiet.
i banged her friend.
thats my single story for the afternoon.
-------------------- "Hospitality is my house, That a traveler shall share, Warm meal on a hearth And my last horn of mead"
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Set
candy colored clown


Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 6,383
Loc: right near da beach
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026235 - 10/24/13 03:01 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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that's pretty awesome
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classic LOVELINE
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026249 - 10/24/13 03:03 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: i went to a wedding alone.. i was the best man.. his new found wife got all bitchy and said, why the fuck would you come to my wedding alone?
What a bitch. Why would she say that? What difference would it make to her whether or not you went to her wedding alone? No need to pester you over that.
It's good that you fucked her friend, it proves you're like hardcore and manly and stuff
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Sheekle]
#19026260 - 10/24/13 03:05 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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well shes still young.. 22
shes still salty over that though. my friend thought it was awesome though. hes 30
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026273 - 10/24/13 03:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why would you going to her wedding alone make anybody pissed off though? I just don't get what the problem in that would be
You're there at the wedding, there's other people at the wedding. You're all there together. What difference would it make if you drove there with another person or not?
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Sheekle]
#19026281 - 10/24/13 03:08 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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its a social standard type thing i guess.
i had just broke up with a really chill chiky and didnt feel like i needed to bring some other chick with me.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026288 - 10/24/13 03:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've never heard of that before, that's really interesting to me for some reason.
I can understand it being a sort of unspoken thing that goes on I guess, but why anybody would ever get annoyed because of that flies miles above my head.
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Sheekle]
#19026348 - 10/24/13 03:21 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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yeah i dunno dude..
lots of hocus pocus traditions and shit round weddings.. i dont understand it man.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026384 - 10/24/13 03:28 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: being single kinda rocks..
i went to a wedding alone.. i was the best man.. his new found wife got all bitchy and said, why the fuck would you come to my wedding alone?
i told her because im going to bang your best friend tonight.
she got quiet.
i banged her friend.
thats my single story for the afternoon.

I literally laughed out loud at that one. Made my day.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026404 - 10/24/13 03:31 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't understand things like that either don't think many people would notice I like being single its good haven't had a girl friend in a few years
unless I meet someone that I really like preferable not in a bar but you never know
Edited by watermelon mon (10/24/13 03:32 PM)
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: watermelon mon]
#19026418 - 10/24/13 03:34 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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tradition and superstition.
i was more happy to see his side of the family that i hadnt seen sense high school.. i couldnt care less if i brought a chick along..
ive met some really down to earth chicks at a bar... mostly the bar tenders.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026438 - 10/24/13 03:38 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sounds like a really strange young lady. If anyone got angry with me for going somewhere without a date, they probably wouldn't be seeing much of me anymore.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman] 1
#19026454 - 10/24/13 03:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't think i'm some kind of failure being single, but sometimes i do miss the company of a significant other. especially at night, when im feeling all kinds of fucked up, and just need a hug.
--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19026466 - 10/24/13 03:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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like i said, shes young, she had hopes of glamour and what not..
but she really didnt know me that well.. we had met only like 3 or 4 times before they got married..
if she would have known me prior to, it would have been a non-issue im sure, cause she would have been used to my antics.
she now knows what to expect when hanging out with me.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026659 - 10/24/13 04:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Can you guys believe that I've never been to a wedding in my entire 28 years of life?
The only benchmark I have is what I see in the movies and on TV. Is that how it actually happens?
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19026684 - 10/24/13 04:32 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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give it time mate..
your getting closer to that age where your friends and shit are doing it.
and for the movies.. only the weddings where a shitload of monies are involved.
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nannybooboo

Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 325
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19026709 - 10/24/13 04:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: Can you guys believe that I've never been to a wedding in my entire 28 years of life?
The only benchmark I have is what I see in the movies and on TV. Is that how it actually happens?
You're not really missing out on much.
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nannybooboo]
#19026726 - 10/24/13 04:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes, being single is a failure.
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nannybooboo]
#19026727 - 10/24/13 04:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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beer, cake, and bitches.... your right he aint missing much
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jboredone
Money-The root of all evil....



Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 4,783
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19026770 - 10/24/13 04:51 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: being single kinda rocks..
i went to a wedding alone.. i was the best man.. his new found wife got all bitchy and said, why the fuck would you come to my wedding alone?
i told her because im going to bang your best friend tonight.
she got quiet.
i banged her friend.
thats my single story for the afternoon.
Thats crazy....that happened to me at 3 different weddings......
-------------------- Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!! In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!

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itz4allofus
Stranger
Registered: 07/11/13
Posts: 14
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: zZZz] 3
#19026803 - 10/24/13 04:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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No, I would prefer to be involved. However I realize that the Government, has engineered a society, wherein alliances, friendship, love, is actively discouraged.The LEO enclave Be aware that Racist fascism has come to power. ironically under a Democratic "minority" President, hang on to your asses folks. Hate crime,corruption, ethnic discrimination are at an all time high. Remember America? The greatest nation on earth? People that are kind, loving, and loyal? Remember that great nation?
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: itz4allofus]
#19026815 - 10/24/13 05:01 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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We all choose our own reality
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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T-Rex



Registered: 04/05/08
Posts: 4,185
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 days, 6 hours
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19026825 - 10/24/13 05:04 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I am alone and single and thoroughly enjoy it. At this point in my life I have no room for a significant other at the moment. I enjoy answering to no one.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19026829 - 10/24/13 05:05 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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On another subject. These dating website algorithm actually work.
POF customer service just sent me the profile of a girl I banged twice in university a few years back lol.
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T-Rex



Registered: 04/05/08
Posts: 4,185
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 days, 6 hours
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19026868 - 10/24/13 05:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: On another subject. These dating website algorithm actually work.
POF customer service just sent me the profile of a girl I banged twice in university a few years back lol.
Oh they work alright. I met a girl in Connecticut who I've had sex with multiple times. And she was Jordanian
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: T-Rex]
#19026876 - 10/24/13 05:15 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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i live in Connecticut
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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T-Rex



Registered: 04/05/08
Posts: 4,185
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 days, 6 hours
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Sheekle]
#19026897 - 10/24/13 05:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Very Cool Sheekle. Here's a Cookie
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: T-Rex] 2
#19026904 - 10/24/13 05:21 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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itz4allofus
Stranger
Registered: 07/11/13
Posts: 14
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19026909 - 10/24/13 05:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: We all choose our own reality
In a sense, yes, we choose our subjective mindset. However, social and economic conditions, are obviously run by the rogue defacto elements of(racist) law enforcement. Be aware of whats going to happen soon in America. There are more poor minority people in the states than white wealthy. The rich, absolutely do not stand a chance. Eventually those people that they think will protect them, racist LEO, will turn tail, people with real integrity are rare in LEO, as they are in all walks of life. Think about it.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: itz4allofus]
#19026918 - 10/24/13 05:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sounds like not a very fun reality to choose
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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itz4allofus
Stranger
Registered: 07/11/13
Posts: 14
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19026959 - 10/24/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Agreed, however, on the bright side, we still select our own rewards and punishments, Thats how soft drugs help us. We realize objectively,that our own experiences, are all there really is, and all that really matters. Now add an element of conscience. kindness and compassion, then you can find a life partner whose mind set is congruent with yours.
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HasherMcBudz
I like pretty colors



Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 17
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: itz4allofus] 1
#19027012 - 10/24/13 05:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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No. Reason? EVERYONE IS SINGLE!
PS. This is my first post! XD
-------------------- Some of us look at the stars and wonder..... Some of us send satellite's to the stars........ Some of us take LSD....
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: HasherMcBudz]
#19027066 - 10/24/13 05:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have a hot female teacher in her early 40s who is single. I look down on her a tad. I can't help but ask myself what her problem is. Does she just wanna whore it up? Is she a complete bitch? Is she so progressive she needs to be an insecure overly successful single female? What does she have to prove?
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Almond Flour]
#19027069 - 10/24/13 05:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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What a strange way to look at it. Why do you assume she's trying to prove something to you?
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Almond Flour] 1
#19027081 - 10/24/13 06:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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maybe she is just a psycho crazy lunatic outside of her profession.
or maybe something happened to make her single.
why would you look down on a smokin hot teacher.. you should be hitting that man.
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NotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman] 1
#19027095 - 10/24/13 06:05 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: What a strange way to look at it. Why do you assume she's trying to prove something to you?
Cause she's a woman
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19027096 - 10/24/13 06:05 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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nothing wrong with that. not eveeryone is cut out for the white picket fence. saulgoodman
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19027250 - 10/24/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: I was listening to a radio show with a sexologist/psychotherapist as the host and the subject was celibacy and how people feel about it.
There was a part where people were happy to be with themselves alone to get to know themselves better, etc.
Then there was the segment of unhappy single people. She brought up social pressure from friends and family to get a lover and not be the third wheel. She was also talking about being ashamed of going to parties alone and being alone in general. Then she brought up that some people see being single as a social failure and that people might be judging them or telling them not to be too picky.
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
I don't see it as a failure per se, but my parents stayed together (even through some rough patches in their relationship) throughout my childhood and remain so today, so I have come to see it as the norm-- and my inability to find a suitable/adequate partner throughout my adult life has been the source of much frustration. It's not a sex thing; I've never had problems getting laid, but my libido doesn't direct me toward people I am able (or willing) to spend my life with, and vice-versa.
People aren't on my ass about it, but I do really wish I could find a good partner, and I do tend to feel isolated and even jealous when I see my friends finding their way into durable and fulfilling intimate relationships.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
Edited by Sophistic Radiance (10/24/13 06:18 PM)
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HasherMcBudz
I like pretty colors



Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 17
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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I don't know how to make post:( I want to ask a Q
-------------------- Some of us look at the stars and wonder..... Some of us send satellite's to the stars........ Some of us take LSD....
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: HasherMcBudz]
#19027340 - 10/24/13 06:29 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
HasherMcBudz said: I don't know how to make post:( I want to ask a Q 
You just made a new post
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HasherMcBudz
I like pretty colors



Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 17
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19027367 - 10/24/13 06:34 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
HasherMcBudz said: I don't know how to make post:( I want to ask a Q 
You just made a new post
I mean like make a thread. (I think)
-------------------- Some of us look at the stars and wonder..... Some of us send satellite's to the stars........ Some of us take LSD....
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19027374 - 10/24/13 06:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
HasherMcBudz said: I don't know how to make post:( I want to ask a Q 
You just made a new post

I like your question threads, Patlal.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: HasherMcBudz]
#19027383 - 10/24/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
HasherMcBudz said:
Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
HasherMcBudz said: I don't know how to make post:( I want to ask a Q 
You just made a new post
I mean like make a thread. (I think)
There's the Getting Started forum
Click Here: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/83
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Shortknight



Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nannybooboo]
#19027423 - 10/24/13 06:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
nannybooboo said:
Quote:
Patlal said: Can you guys believe that I've never been to a wedding in my entire 28 years of life?
The only benchmark I have is what I see in the movies and on TV. Is that how it actually happens?
You're not really missing out on much.
I like weddings Everyone really shines at them lol Shorty
-------------------- Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,050
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 16 minutes, 21 seconds
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Shortknight]
#19027425 - 10/24/13 06:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods]
#19027434 - 10/24/13 06:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
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CidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG



Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NotTheDevil]
#19027516 - 10/24/13 06:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
NotTheDevil said: Being single is only a failure if your trying not to be single and failed
This was my immediate thought as well. However, after a bit more thought, that doesn't seem entirely true either. Perhaps in a strictly literal sense, yes-- if you're trying for something, and don't succeed, you've "failed."
However, in the sense of being responsible for the "failure" not necessarily. I mean, relationships and interpersonal chemistry can be very complicated things. You can be the nicest, most agreeable person in the world, and that still doesn't mean you could work in a committed romantic relationship with just anyone.
It's got to be the right person, and even the right time.
So no-- I do not see being single as a personal failure, necessarily. However, to that I will add: if you are trying to not be single, and failing constantly / repeatedly, you might want to consider whether you're doing something wrong.
-------------------- ------------------------ I am me. We are You.
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight]
#19027562 - 10/24/13 07:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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here is me 3 years ago:
Quote:
NWlight said: ...after the depression ended, the freedom was almost overwhelming.
bad ideas & good times, brother. i'm happy being single, so how is that possibly failure?
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19027611 - 10/24/13 07:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: I was listening to a radio show with a sexologist/psychotherapist as the host and the subject was celibacy and how people feel about it.
There was a part where people were happy to be with themselves alone to get to know themselves better, etc.
Then there was the segment of unhappy single people. She brought up social pressure from friends and family to get a lover and not be the third wheel. She was also talking about being ashamed of going to parties alone and being alone in general. Then she brought up that some people see being single as a social failure and that people might be judging them or telling them not to be too picky.
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
My parents kind of gently nag me about it, but not really - they know how I feel, I got out of a 4 year relationship about a year and a half ago, and realized I would rather be celibate and single for life.
There will be no waiting for "the right one to come along" for me - that implies that I'm willing to be vulnerable and trust again, to be intimate with what amounts to a stranger. Not gonna happen.
Unless you're into pump and dump, long term relationships I.E. marriage, and cohabitation, are a fool's errand. Odds are likely you'll end up thinking you are the exception with the traditional ideal wife and shit only to realize you are legally fucked now freshly sandwiched between an ever decreasing amount of money, freedom, and self respect and an ever increasing likelihood of child support, nagging/bitching eating away at your soul, divorce, alimony, and endless debt to pay off all the pointless diamond rings/shoes/bullshit.
Fuck relationships. Being single is tits
--------------------
And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem]
#19027620 - 10/24/13 07:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
But what if koods is a failure? 
Are you trying to tell me that it is desirable, in one's life, to never fail?
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,050
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 16 minutes, 21 seconds
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: rackem] 1
#19028284 - 10/24/13 08:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
rackem said: koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
No, I'm telling you that I'm a failure.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods]
#19028301 - 10/24/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
rackem said: koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
No, I'm telling you that I'm a failure.
That was obvious from the start. How could rackem ever think otherwise???
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,050
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 16 minutes, 21 seconds
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal] 1
#19028325 - 10/24/13 09:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
rackem said: koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
No, I'm telling you that I'm a failure.
That was obvious from the start. How could rackem ever think otherwise???
No kidding. 9,000 posts in one year is a pretty good hint I spend a lot of time alone.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods]
#19029656 - 10/25/13 05:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
rackem said: koods your telling me that no matter what happens in life you will not ever be single. at any one moment?
No, I'm telling you that I'm a failure.
That was obvious from the start. How could rackem ever think otherwise???
No kidding. 9,000 posts in one year is a pretty good hint I spend a lot of time alone.
Hey, at least you spend your time alone being social. I generally spend my time alone busy with the beast that cannot be fed.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,050
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 16 minutes, 21 seconds
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That's what's great about the Internet... You can do both at the same time. You have no idea how many loads I've had to clean off the screen just to read your posts, BS.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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NotTheDevil
Transhuman


Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 5,436
Loc: US
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods] 1
#19033884 - 10/26/13 12:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: That's what's great about the Internet... You can do both at the same time. You have no idea how many loads I've had to clean off the screen just to read your posts, BS. 
I'm calling BS on that one
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods]
#19033891 - 10/26/13 12:59 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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im slow....
so sue me
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19033925 - 10/26/13 01:20 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
I think that people are single for a reason.
Being single does put pressure on me because of my age and lack of experience. I'm amazed that some of my peers began having sex by the time they were 15.
So the way I see it, I have a lot of catching up to do.
Yes. People I have grown up with have been asking me if I am planning to get married soon. I always respond with the truth. No, I do not plan to get married - ever.
I usually tell them that if I was going to get married, I would have done so by now.
No, I'm not ashamed of being single. I'm working on a higher quality of life. I'm not waiting for "the right person" - because there is no such thing. It's all ones and zeros.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Shroomism
Space Travellin



Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19033947 - 10/26/13 01:40 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'd say it depends entirely on the person/relationship.
If you are a relationship type person that goes from relationship to relationship, and then you are single for a period of time due to you sucking ass as a person, when you WANT to be in a relationship, and meet people of the opposite sex all the time, but constantly get rejected because you are a douche or whatever.,.. then yeah I guess that's a failure.
But this society's notion of you are a failure just because you are single? I don't agree with that at all.
Being single and independent is always better than being in an unhealthy or unhappy relationship. 100% of the time. Or being in a relationship just because it's "expected" of you, or because of peer or family pressure.. fuck that. Being single and being able to live and develop on your own terms is 100x better than being chained down to something you hate or don't totally vibe with, or getting/staying in shitty relationship, just to "be in a relationship"... fuck that.
I guess I could see some single people at like a couples party or something could feel kind of left out. But on that same token, I know most of my single friends are HAPPY to be single, that they can fuck who they want, only answer to themselves, don't have all these expectations put on them, do whatever they want when they want.. etc etc. When I was single throughout a lot of my 20s, I enjoyed myself. I was not in a rush to get back into a relationship unless I found the right person that vibes with my personality and way of doing things. I enjoyed every second of being single and didn't try and stress finding someone..
I think it's stupid for people to put pressure or judge someone just based on if they are single or in a relationship. Be single if that's what makes you happy.. if you find the right person cool, if not.. then hey at least you're still happy! If you are in a happy relationship, then cool. If you are single because you are just an asshole piece of shit, then that's a different story.
But there are also people that are single for a long time, because they are simply waiting for the right person. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else.....
It's people that can't be happy UNLESS they are in a relationship, that have problems. Chronic relationshipers. They will break up with someone and instantly find someone else, sometimes the same day. They can't stand to be single for even a day. That's like a mental sickness of some kind. After a relationship, you need to spend some time being single in order to recollect your thoughts and re-center yourself, re-find yourself..
TL;DR: You should be able to be single and be perfectly happy and content living with yourself. If you aren't happy with yourself single, then being in a relationship isn't going to help you and your partner isn't going to be happy with you either. You have to be perfectly content being single before you can truly fully commit yourself to a relationship and another person, IMO.
So do what the fuck you want. If you see single as a failure then it's failure. If you see it as winning, then you.. my friend, are winning.
Nothing is really good or bad, positive or negative until you assign a value to it, it simply is.
--------------------
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passifloracaerulea



Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Shroomism]
#19034160 - 10/26/13 03:43 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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marriage failure, yes.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 30 days
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: TheMovement]
#19034300 - 10/26/13 05:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheMovement said: Yes, being single is a failure.
may i ask for your reasoning in this assertion?
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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: CidneyIndole]
#19034490 - 10/26/13 07:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't see myself as a failure for being single.
Quote:
CidneyIndole said:
Quote:
NotTheDevil said: Being single is only a failure if your trying not to be single and failed
This was my immediate thought as well. However, after a bit more thought, that doesn't seem entirely true either. Perhaps in a strictly literal sense, yes-- if you're trying for something, and don't succeed, you've "failed."
However, in the sense of being responsible for the "failure" not necessarily. I mean, relationships and interpersonal chemistry can be very complicated things. You can be the nicest, most agreeable person in the world, and that still doesn't mean you could work in a committed romantic relationship with just anyone.
It's got to be the right person, and even the right time.
So no-- I do not see being single as a personal failure, necessarily. However, to that I will add: if you are trying to not be single, and failing constantly / repeatedly, you might want to consider whether you're doing something wrong.
That sums up my feelings pretty well.
I do however feel like I'm doing something wrong by not getting sex when I want sex. I guess I feel like a bit of a failure in that regard. No, not "I guess". I do. I do feel like a failure in that regard.
Can't always get what you want though.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: birdland] 1
#19034519 - 10/26/13 08:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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ever since my friend got a girlfriend he never wants to hang out any more he just wants to be with his stupid girl friend what a dick lol
Edited by watermelon mon (10/26/13 08:57 AM)
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Shroomism]
#19034553 - 10/26/13 08:23 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomism said:Nothing is really good or bad, positive or negative until you assign a value to it, it simply is.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: koods]
#19034638 - 10/26/13 08:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: That's what's great about the Internet... You can do both at the same time. You have no idea how many loads I've had to clean off the screen just to read your posts, BS. 
Nice to know I have that effect on you.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19034639 - 10/26/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said:
Quote:
Shroomism said:Nothing is really good or bad, positive or negative until you assign a value to it, it simply is.
That's the kind of hippie shit that keeps me around. I'm sorry but I don't buy the "simply is" eastern propaganda. There is some shit in this world that is dead wrong. And none of your new age song and dance is changing that or helping anyone.
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: watermelon mon] 2
#19034641 - 10/26/13 08:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
watermelon mon said: ever since my friend got a girlfriend he never wants to hang out any more he just wants to be with his stooped girl friend what a dick lol
Maybe if you started sucking your friends dick, he would come back to you.
--------------------
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Almond Flour]
#19034645 - 10/26/13 08:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah, being single sucks, especially when your friends aren't. I don't think that's gonna change and I don't think I can magically make myself be happy about something that sucks.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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fapjack
Title



Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19034664 - 10/26/13 08:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't know anyone that has gotten into a relationship because their parents or friends wanted them to, that's a really lame reason to be with someone. It depends on the person, I don't see it as any type of failure though. Relationships are tough, not everyone does well in them.
--------------------
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Almond Flour]
#19034673 - 10/26/13 09:00 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Almond Flour said:
Quote:
nicechrisman said:
Quote:
Shroomism said:Nothing is really good or bad, positive or negative until you assign a value to it, it simply is.
That's the kind of hippie shit that keeps me around. I'm sorry but I don't buy the "simply is" eastern propaganda. There is some shit in this world that is dead wrong. And none of your new age song and dance is changing that or helping anyone. 
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19034680 - 10/26/13 09:02 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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hey guis whats going on?
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fapjack]
#19034686 - 10/26/13 09:03 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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think I will pass but I think its funny how things like that happen don't really care  am sure some of you know what I am saying
Edited by watermelon mon (10/26/13 09:04 AM)
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x Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: watermelon mon]
#19035003 - 10/26/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've been single for years now.
I'm just waiting for the right person. Someone who I could be with, say for a week straight in a secluded area, and not wanting to get away from them.
I'm very open to making friends and meeting new people. I love it. but that spot is reserved for someone special.
--------------------
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eira
i am excited to be here


Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 1,031
Loc: L.A.
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: x Ju x]
#19035278 - 10/26/13 11:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Different reactions based on gender. I've got a lot of female friends that absolutely hate being single.
Recently getting out of a one year relationship--and a five year relationship before that--I think I'd like to be single my entire life. It will suck dealing with societal pressures, but that won't be anywhere near as stressful as dealing with severe attachments to a significant other (no matter how awesome they are).
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Uzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: eira]
#19035299 - 10/26/13 11:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
eira said: I've got a lot of female friends that absolutely hate being single.
That is because they are insecure, haha.
I like being single but I also like being in a relationship. Both have their ups and downs.
I like the total freedom of being single though. Maybe if I meet the right girl who doesn't want to hold me back but most girls I've dated wanted me to do this or that and stop doing this or that. Gets old pretty quick.
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Uzziel]
#19036032 - 10/26/13 02:48 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Uzziel said:
Quote:
eira said: I've got a lot of female friends that absolutely hate being single.
That is because they are insecure, haha.
I like being single but I also like being in a relationship. Both have their ups and downs.
I like the total freedom of being single though. Maybe if I meet the right girl who doesn't want to hold me back but most girls I've dated wanted me to do this or that and stop doing this or that. Gets old pretty quick.
Aside from insecurity, women have a relationship/sexual market value that plummets when they get over 30 (ESPECIALLY if they are single moms) so they have added pressure to lock down a man (a wallet) before their looks fade and they are invisible to men hunting for a young, fertile, curvy babe.
Whereas men are not as restricted by their biological clocks and actually increase in value as a potential partner as they age because of increased status in career/money/prestige/whatever.
Time is on the side of men
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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
Edited by JesusIsLord (10/26/13 02:53 PM)
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Set
candy colored clown


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: JesusIsLord]
#19036039 - 10/26/13 02:50 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's a pretty solid point.
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classic LOVELINE
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MystiqueMushroom

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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight]
#19036063 - 10/26/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
NWlight said: just got out of a 4 year relationship
after the depression ended, the freedom was almost overwhelming.
I live alone too so I can literally do w/e the fuck I want, whenever I want, with whoever, wherever.
any time of day or night with nobody to answer to but myself.
Amen brother
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19036210 - 10/26/13 03:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: I was listening to a radio show with a sexologist/psychotherapist as the host and the subject was celibacy and how people feel about it.
There was a part where people were happy to be with themselves alone to get to know themselves better, etc.
Then there was the segment of unhappy single people. She brought up social pressure from friends and family to get a lover and not be the third wheel. She was also talking about being ashamed of going to parties alone and being alone in general. Then she brought up that some people see being single as a social failure and that people might be judging them or telling them not to be too picky.
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
I have the utmost respect for monks in celibacy that spend all their time to the last breath writing books. I want to become this dedicated aswell to a certain subject and i'm afraid a wo(man) isn't going to furfill that need so why would I bother and keep looking?
i'm only 20 though.
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broken
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: Yeah, being single sucks, especially when your friends aren't. I don't think that's gonna change and I don't think I can magically make myself be happy about something that sucks. 
it doesn't suck for me, and i don't have many single friends. i actually have avoided getting into several relationships the last couple years.  your looking at all the down sides of being single.
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MarijuanaBoy
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: nicechrisman]
#19038841 - 10/27/13 12:04 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Definitely.
One of the most eye opening truths that psychedelics made me realize is that absolutely everything that exists is a mere symbol, nothing more. The car you drive, the way you style your hair, the jacket you wear, the food you eat, the brand of cigarettes you smoke, the way your room looks, and so forth all represent an integral aspect of the person's ego. Having an SO works the exact same way and often the lack of a SO can appear as a symbol of insecurity and shyness.
Edited by MarijuanaBoy (10/27/13 12:09 AM)
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: MarijuanaBoy]
#19038846 - 10/27/13 12:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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it can also be a symbol of many other things too, but good point, nonetheless.
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Crystal G



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: akira_akuma] 1
#19038850 - 10/27/13 12:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Most people never marry their true love. They simply settle out of fear of being alone. What a victory.
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NWlight
Just look


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Crystal G] 1
#19038944 - 10/27/13 12:45 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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are you implying that there is such thing as your one true love out there somewhere?
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Set
candy colored clown


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight]
#19038957 - 10/27/13 12:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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nah
true love is possible with a plethora of people
the catch is finding and connecting with one of those people in a sea of others
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classic LOVELINE
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Synth Ethics
substitution


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19038981 - 10/27/13 01:00 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: I was listening to a radio show with a sexologist/psychotherapist as the host and the subject was celibacy and how people feel about it.
There was a part where people were happy to be with themselves alone to get to know themselves better, etc.
Then there was the segment of unhappy single people. She brought up social pressure from friends and family to get a lover and not be the third wheel. She was also talking about being ashamed of going to parties alone and being alone in general. Then she brought up that some people see being single as a social failure and that people might be judging them or telling them not to be too picky.
What do you guys think about it?
Does being single put pressure on you? Are your family and friends on your ass asking you if you met somebody everytime you see them? Are you ashamed of being single?
Discuss
didn't read any reply but here's what I think
it's only a failure if you are actively looking to be in a relationship, otherwise it's only a failure to the eye of the sheep brainwashed by the society.
how is it a failure to be single if you're not in love with anyone? it also has nothing to do with beign too picky or not, you can't choose to be in love yet that's exactly what many people do and I think it's one of the reason there is so many couple breaking up/divorcing.
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Konyap

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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Synth Ethics]
#19038998 - 10/27/13 01:09 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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The emotion for love though is really just an instinct we evolved with so pregnant women and infants had someone to look after them.
The chemical only pumps out for so long and it isn't exclusive to one person.
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Crystal G



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight]
#19039021 - 10/27/13 01:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
NWlight said: are you implying that there is such thing as your one true love out there somewhere?
I implied that it exists, by saying that "most people never marry their true love."
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fbi365
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Patlal]
#19039065 - 10/27/13 01:33 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I didn't read any of the posts in between, but yes, op, I feel like being single is a failure. Just like I think having no job/a shitty job is a failure. But i desire a relationship so i have set that as a goal. If I don't meet that goal I have failed.
Some people don't want relationships, but there are a lot of people who tell themselves that because they simply can't get a girl. "Im the shit, i don't need a girlfriend" said your eternally pathetic buddy. Yeah, keep telling yourself that dude if it makes you feel better.
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039083 - 10/27/13 01:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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that sounds like a very narrow point of view, and extremely judgmental. so, all of your friends who aren't in a relationship are "eternally pathetic"
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NWlight
Just look


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365] 2
#19039088 - 10/27/13 01:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said: "Im the shit, i don't need a girlfriend" said your eternally pathetic buddy. Yeah, keep telling yourself that dude if it makes you feel better.
man could you project your own insecurity any louder 
being secure in yourself without a significant other is essential to actually having one
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Konyap

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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: NWlight]
#19039100 - 10/27/13 01:51 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Pathetic implies sympathy
usually those types of people are kind of self righteous smucks.
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Crystal G



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039115 - 10/27/13 01:57 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said: I didn't read any of the posts in between, but yes, op, I feel like being single is a failure. Just like I think having no job/a shitty job is a failure.
Why is being with somebody considered better than being single? If you constantly strive and desire to be with somebody, it's because you lack independence and rely on somebody else for your fulfillment.
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Synth Ethics
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Konyap]
#19039118 - 10/27/13 01:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Illyabo said: The emotion for love though is really just an instinct we evolved with so pregnant women and infants had someone to look after them.
The chemical only pumps out for so long and it isn't exclusive to one person.
probably, I believe in "real" love tho, a rare feeling so intense you feel it physically. and the "second-degree" love that is more like a very strong attachment to someone that you really appreciate.
personnaly I only felt real earth shatering love 2 times, once in elementary school and more recently in a dream, when I woke up and realized I would never see that girl ever I almost cried. it's pathetic but it reminded me what love was like. I also understood why all my relations to date ultimatly failed, they were doomed from the start. not making this mistake again unless she's The One I'm not getting emtionally involved.
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Crystal G]
#19039124 - 10/27/13 02:04 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: If you constantly strive and desire to be with somebody, it's because you lack independence and rely on somebody else for your fulfillment.

Some people can't stand their own company; so they try to fill that void with other people.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039131 - 10/27/13 02:06 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said: that sounds like a very narrow point of view, and extremely judgmental. so, all of your friends who aren't in a relationship are "eternally pathetic"
You don't have a friend who thinks he's the shit but isn't? That was my point.
And when did I say all of my friends who aren't in relationships are eternally pathetic? I guess i used more powerful words than I intended.
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Megatrondon
NEW*



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Synth Ethics]
#19039135 - 10/27/13 02:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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in regards to the original poster. you might be seeing your situation as negative. that's fine being in a relationship has its perks, sex being a given and your getting it every day of the week if not that very often. also you have a girl to share you inner thoughts to. girls like a guy that has his emotions in order. but look do you really wanna be buying a girl things dealing with her shit "rules" like dont do this dont do that. being single is fucking topnotch dog shit. most guys in relationship are whipped. ive been in over 10 relationships and none of them i would go back with. honestly being single is how it should be. having one nights and having girls as friends is all i need. keep my job and priorities in order there is no need to bring a girl in to world. so to awser your question my man no its not a bad thing. and if your having a hard time getting a girl. fuck it dog eventually you'll get some girl thats down to earth. and dont look for a girl they come to you dog
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039142 - 10/27/13 02:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said:
You don't have a friend who thinks he's the shit but isn't? That was my point.
no. i know people like that. but they aren't my friends.
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fbi365
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Crystal G]
#19039148 - 10/27/13 02:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
fbi365 said: I didn't read any of the posts in between, but yes, op, I feel like being single is a failure. Just like I think having no job/a shitty job is a failure.
Why is being with somebody considered better than being single? If you constantly strive and desire to be with somebody, it's because you lack independence and rely on somebody else for your fulfillment.
Its just a personal opinion. Because that's what I want.
I'm sorry that doesn't fit into your world view. It's possible that people have different desires in life than you. Different strokes for different folks, as someone always said...
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fbi365
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039149 - 10/27/13 02:17 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
fbi365 said:
You don't have a friend who thinks he's the shit but isn't? That was my point.
no. i know people like that. but they aren't my friends.
okay. lol but you get my point
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Enthrall
Mr ?



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Megatrondon]
#19039159 - 10/27/13 02:21 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'd like to chime in on this. I have no problems what so ever. I think maybe I could be picky because I know what love feels like. I very rarely share that experience with someone it doesn't happen often. So I've mostly decided. That if I'm not trying.. which I'm not than I better be completely happy with myself and who I am. Then be constantly asking myself why I'm single. Theres a lot of ways to justify your actions. Many are false.
One tough issue is when your this far along in you emotional security people will always be surprised that your single. I notice when this happens its girls asking. Then all of a sudden they avoid me or don't talk to me. Or If I display any confidence what so ever they act scared. I don't even think I'm hot or anything despite what they say. They'll admit it and walk off. Yeah I'm just not going to deal with that. Then theres the ones who come on so strongly they'll just be asking for my cock. Great.. but does anyone else think of anything else?
It leaves me feeling as though I'm to much. Then when the surprise happens. They'll be like why? why? It feels way too superficial to me. I default to not over thinking it. Thoughts can be toxic.
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Crystal G



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Enthrall]
#19039169 - 10/27/13 02:27 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enthrall said: One tough issue is when your this far along in you emotional security people will always be surprised that your single.
I get that all the time. Whenever I move to a new place and meet neighbors, or whenever I meet random people at the gym or wherever else I'm at, people are always like, "Wow, I can't believe you're actually single!"
Yup, I'm too sexy...
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039170 - 10/27/13 02:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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yes. but here is my point: i have chosen to stay single for the last two years. and i will admit having regrets about that from time to time, but not often.
so, if i want to be single, and i am single, then i'm not failing at anything.
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fbi365
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039174 - 10/27/13 02:32 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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okay, but why can't you assumedly openminded people wrap your heads around anything different? It's a larger question than what's cooler; single or married...
oh and PS "so, if i want to be single, and i am single, then i'm not failing at anything." that's a fallacy
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Edited by fbi365 (10/27/13 02:35 AM)
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039180 - 10/27/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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it's not about what is "cool" it's about keeping my life as simple, low drama and stress free as possible.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039194 - 10/27/13 02:40 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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you are moving the point. THE point, for me, is that there are people who find happiness in life in different ways. not about the fact that I used the word "cool"
Which is still cool to do dude.
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039200 - 10/27/13 02:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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i'm not moving the point, i'm making mine, which has to deal with the OP. i know different people find happiness in different ways in life, i'm stoned not fucking retarded.
and you are right, i fail at plenty of things. but i'm very successful at staying single.
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Synth Ethics
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365] 1
#19039210 - 10/27/13 02:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said: I didn't read any of the posts in between, but yes, op, I feel like being single is a failure. Just like I think having no job/a shitty job is a failure. But i desire a relationship so i have set that as a goal. If I don't meet that goal I have failed.
you have it all wrong. a relationship and a job is nothing by itself and setting your goal as that will make you miss the real target. a job is only a way to get money, even money is not an end in itself it'S just the way we chosed to use to get what is really important wich is having food and a place to stay. if every human on earth was to posses lifetime suplly of food and supply money would be useless and working would be pointless.
it's the same thing with a relationship, it's just what happen when you find your soulmate. let's go further, why do you aim to find your soulmate? because it unlock a "special level of happines" trhough the synergy otherwise impossible to experience without the soulmate.
you want a job, I want food and a roof. you want a relationship, I want to live happy and I'm way more happier alone than with someone who's not made for me.
I hope you understand what I mean.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039212 - 10/27/13 02:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said: i'm not moving the point, i'm making mine, which has to deal with the OP. i know different people find happiness in different ways in life, i'm stoned not fucking retarded.
and you are right, i fail at plenty of things. but i'm very successful at staying single. 
lol. I hope you fail and love it
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Synth Ethics]
#19039213 - 10/27/13 02:57 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Synth Ethics said: you want a job, I want food and a roof. you want a relationship, I want to live happy and I'm way more happier alone than with someone who's not made for me.
I hope you understand what I mean.
perfectly said.
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039226 - 10/27/13 03:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039230 - 10/27/13 03:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe my priorities are all fucked up. But my priorities are food and a roof, and love, and happiness. Im not sure I know where to find these things at the moment. But I know that I want them. No. I know they are essential to my wellbeing. A job is extremely important to me. And it doesn't have anything to do with my food intake, or the level of shelter i have from the outdoors.
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broken
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039247 - 10/27/13 03:17 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said: Maybe my priorities are all fucked up.
who knows, maybe mine are? i'm in my 30's and have a child from a past relationship. shouldn't i want to find someone to settle down with? share my shelter, income, food, entire life with? these are perfectly normal desires for a person. yet i don't have them.
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fbi365
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039257 - 10/27/13 03:24 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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No you shouldn't, unless you want to bro. I can Identify with wanting to be alone. I'm 30, most days I want to be left alone. But I dont want it to be left to something out of my hands. Recluses can have relationships too
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Synth Ethics
substitution


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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: fbi365]
#19039401 - 10/27/13 05:15 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said: Maybe my priorities are all fucked up. But my priorities are food and a roof, and love, and happiness. Im not sure I know where to find these things at the moment. But I know that I want them. No. I know they are essential to my wellbeing. A job is extremely important to me. And it doesn't have anything to do with my food intake, or the level of shelter i have from the outdoors.
it's hard to figure out what will make you happy when the society impose it's corrupted definition of happiness such efficiently.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Synth Ethics]
#19039592 - 10/27/13 07:43 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Wow you guys really made this thread interesting, I didn't thoink I'd get 20 replies.
Keep it up
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i like cow poo
Nature Lover


Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 4,041
Loc: Mother Nature's Vagina
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: broken]
#19039651 - 10/27/13 08:11 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I do miss having a nice woman to calm me down and play with on an emotional and physical level. Right now its not a priority. But it's almost always fun to smoke weed with a hot nature loving chick.
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Megatrondon
NEW*



Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 269
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Re: Do you see being single as some kind of failure? [Re: Enthrall]
#19046199 - 10/28/13 01:51 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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yea i get you but some girls want a guy they can control in a way so if your overly confident they know they cant get much out of you.
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