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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Happy in a relationship? * 5
    #19024708 - 10/24/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I feel like this forum is full of too much of the dark side of relationships. I guess maybe once we find a good one, we're too busy with the light & love to post about it on the shroomery - :tongue2: or maybe we feel like we would be bragging if we did?

I don't know, anyway, just wanted to open the floor for discussing your happy long term relationships! maybe it will give the rest of you hope, and inspiration to NEVER SETTLE!

I've been with my guy for a little over a year. We met online & started out as long distance (about 5-6 months) and then moved in together last february. He. is. amazing. I never knew I could share so much with a partner, and connect on so many levels. We teach each other, challenge each other, read books together, love music together and laugh together SO much. Co-created love magic.

:yinyang2:

tell me about your good love & how it works!




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InvisibleK1ngSp4de
CHUT UP!!!
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Registered: 01/16/12
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19024811 - 10/24/13 10:23 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

My wife and I will have been together for 6 years in February and married for 5 in December. Very happy, we are the definition of yin and yang. I the logical scientific mathematician, and she the fantasy imager. Music brought us together, and our life goals keep our bond tight. Even though there are rough spots just like any other relationship, we would fight, kill, and die for one another. We do everything together, and when its not possible (i.e. work/school) we count the moments until we can be. Everytime I trip it feels like we've been together for all of eternity in past lives. It truly is her and I versus the world.

Thank you for this thread pika*. S&R really needs more threads like this one.



Edited by K1ngSp4de (10/24/13 10:36 AM)


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InvisibleLuuuCid
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Registered: 09/27/13
Posts: 900
Loc: Rivendell
Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: K1ngSp4de]
    #19024923 - 10/24/13 10:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Very happy. I see us as a team. whatever i can't do he can and vis versa. We are both young adventuring souls. We're ready to go see and do as many things together in life as we can. We complete each other. Never thought their was such a thing as soul mate..

our souls have entwined.

Very good happy feeling.
:heart:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?


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InvisibleSillyMe
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Posts: 278
Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: LuuuCid]
    #19025499 - 10/24/13 12:51 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LuuuCid said:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?





Yes. I have this strange thing happen sometimes...I'm looking at him and feel overwhelmed with love and then he kind of glows. It's hard to explain and never happened before him.

We celebrate 3 years together tomorrow. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover. He is the comfort in my world.


--------------------
Oh, wind and rain they haunt me. Look to the North and pray.
Send me, please, his kisses. Send them home today.
I'm begging, Jesus, please. Send his love to me.


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19026020 - 10/24/13 02:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Pika* I love your avatar. Is that your cat? If I still had a cat I think I would join this cat-in-bread craze.

On to the topic of the thread:
I think this is a cool idea for a thread. Especially since it can give people who are in sub-par relationships some additional thought as to what a relationship could be. I think relationships should be the icing on the cake of life - not holding the other person down in any way - and this is a good way for people to see how that is manifested in various healthy relationships.

I have been in an amazing relationship for over three years now - years and years ago I was in a relationship that mirrored many of the common relationship complaints that seem to consistently spring up in this forum. It wasn't really either of our faults - we both had issues and just were not right for each other. Breaking up was really hard - and it took some time to come to terms with what exactly I wanted in a relationship. And then I met the girl I am with now. We have the perfect relationship, imo. No jealousy, no fighting (I can count on my hand the number of fights we have had in the years we have been together, and all about silly things), and we each give each other the necessary room to live our own lives, while growing together. And we have been living together for over a year now and it's amazing. It's why not settling is so important - because once you determine what is important to you in a relationship, you are better poised to find that person who you work amazingly with. It's easy to settle - but it causes a great deal of hurt and breaks down at your confidence and well being.

:peace:


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


Edited by Cyclohexylamine (10/24/13 02:27 PM)


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Offlinemisterjingo
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Cyclohexylamine] * 3
    #19026138 - 10/24/13 02:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Chatted online way back in 2001 and became friends. Met up a year later and we sort of drifted into a relationship, it strengthened, became best friends and got engaged. Married in 2008, and still very happily married now with children.

My previous relationships were pretty terrible and filled with high drama. I could never imagine myself in a long term relationship, especially not being married.

What sets my current relationship apart from the others is that I can be myself, no mask, no acting - for good or bad I am myself. My wife is the same. We love spending time together, but respect each partners space and time for hobbies/social occasions etc.

Previous relationships were more in the mood of finding someone to "complete me." My current one is more being with someone who compliments my life, sharing the journey together.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Registered: 11/01/09
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #19026305 - 10/24/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
Pika* I love your avatar. Is that your cat? If I still had a cat I think I would join this cat-in-bread craze.






haha, yes, that is my cat. my bf & i collaborated on that one last night, one of the many ridiculous things we'll do together and then laugh like children until we cry!

:happyheart:


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InvisibleLuuuCid
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Loc: Rivendell
Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: SillyMe]
    #19026424 - 10/24/13 03:36 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

SillyMe said:
Quote:

LuuuCid said:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?





Yes. I have this strange thing happen sometimes...I'm looking at him and feel overwhelmed with love and then he kind of glows. It's hard to explain and never happened before him.

We celebrate 3 years together tomorrow. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover. He is the comfort in my world.





that's exactly it!!! its so spiritual (i guess that would be the right word) just overwhelms you like nothing else. time some how freezes. i melt. every time. :love:

we celebrate almost 2 years. i feel like i would be lost with out him. hes my rock, my comfort, everything. its well sublime

isnt it great to share something like this with someone? we are lucky compared to most id say. im so greatful for it.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: misterjingo]
    #19026917 - 10/24/13 05:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

misterjingo said:

Previous relationships were more in the mood of finding someone to "complete me." My current one is more being with someone who compliments my life, sharing the journey together.





QFT


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #19026957 - 10/24/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I met my fiance in junior high. Going on 9 years now.
Hes such an amazing man. Hes so calm, intelligent, sexy and just..awesome.

I knew from the first date that we would be together forever, how cliche' I know lol

Life wouldn't be worth living without him. I wouldn't want to live without him.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 2
    #19027486 - 10/24/13 06:53 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

pika* said:
I feel like this forum is full of too much of the dark side of relationships. I guess maybe once we find a good one, we're too busy with the light & love to post about it on the shroomery - :tongue2: or maybe we feel like we would be bragging if we did?

I don't know, anyway, just wanted to open the floor for discussing your happy long term relationships! maybe it will give the rest of you hope, and inspiration to NEVER SETTLE!

I've been with my guy for a little over a year. We met online & started out as long distance (about 5-6 months) and then moved in together last february. He. is. amazing. I never knew I could share so much with a partner, and connect on so many levels. We teach each other, challenge each other, read books together, love music together and laugh together SO much. Co-created love magic.

:yinyang2:

tell me about your good love & how it works!






18 years with my second wife.  We had one date.  When I was leaving the next day she looked so sad and I told her that it wasn't the end, it was the beginning.  Here's the thing.  I come off as what she is in private and she comes off as what I am in private.  We complete each other and take care of each other in completely different ways and you would never guess how that works.  I doubt either of us will live much longer than the other.

I am so happy for you.  I knew you were struggling with that shit and couldn't figure out why.  You are pretty and smart and sweet.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19027511 - 10/24/13 06:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

By the way, I have 3 cats who follow me everywhere and I cannot imagine them sitting still one second for the bread treatment.  How do you do that?  Do you dope them?


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #19028317 - 10/24/13 09:00 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

My cats freaked out when I tried to inbread them.


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InvisibleLuuuCid
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #19028502 - 10/24/13 09:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i dont know if dopping them up would help them fuck.

they might just lay their all day....

maybe vigra lmao.

kidding... or am i?

:drevil:


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: LuuuCid] * 2
    #19028586 - 10/24/13 09:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I meant ....putting bread ...on their heads.

Not sex, LOL


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Invisibledeadwk
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #19028701 - 10/24/13 10:26 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

End of october will be dating my current girlfriend for 7 months. It's been absolutely wonderful so far; We have fights occasionally, but tend to resolve them rather quickly, with no hard feelings afterwards. I don't think that's a bad thing though.

I cheated on her once though :doublefacepalm: never doing that again.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #19029151 - 10/25/13 12:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
By the way, I have 3 cats who follow me everywhere and I cannot imagine them sitting still one second for the bread treatment.  How do you do that?  Do you dope them?




she is remarkably laid back for a cat...i held her and pet her while my bf cut the hole in the bread, put it on her face and took the photo. talk about a great team! :tongue2:


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InvisibleshLong
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #19029268 - 10/25/13 01:06 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So yeah...I'll throw my positivity cap in on this thread.

I was in a toxic, bad relationship (8 years) that I ended way earlier this year. I couldn't find or see a way out for a long long time.
Suicide threats from her, general mental and emotional abuse, etc etc

I gathered the courage and left her...best thing I have ever done in my life.

Fast forward to July of this year.
I made a POF.com profile, browsed the gals and stumbled upon an absolute gem of a person.

I had always said (after the breakup) that if I were to try to "holler" at a random woman "on the street" that instead of asking her to dinner and a movie or whatever that I would invite her to play disc golf with me....as it's really fun and non-threatening and so forth.

Anyhow, I'm on POF and I see this woman who is a disc golfer (schwing!) (the 1st irony), so I further check her out and just about every "Interest" I listed, we matched. Hiking, camping, gardening, canoeing, animals, etc etc...

So I write her a message....I don't get a reply for several days.
In the meantime my friend sets me up on a sort of blind date at her house with her friend. I'm all nervous about it and shit.
A day or two later I get a text from my friend that girl had cold feet and the blind date wasn't happening. I was a little bummed and a little relieved since I was kinda nervous....
Anyways, not even 30 minutes after I get the text that girl had cancelled I get an email saying that "Disclady has sent you a message on POF" (many days after I sent the 1st message)  (irony #2).

We get talking and I find out she is an ABA therapist who works with children with Autism....Which is crazy since my only niece receives ABA therapy (Irony #3) I mean, what are the odds?

Get talking some more about random shit and she says that she really wants a Boxer (dog)... Well, as you may guess, my dog is a Boxer :smile: (#4).

The talks go well and we decide to have a disc golf date in Madison. We meet up and really hit it off well.
About an hour in (and although it is taboo) I tell her about my ex.
Wouldn't you know it, she was in the exact same situation as I was. 8 year relationship which ended when she gathered the courage to leave despite HIS suicide threats, just like me (#5). I mean, it was soooo nuts hearing her recite her tale. It was exactly the same as mine.
Long story short, we find a shit load of weird shit that we have in common.
From us both not being affected by poison ivy all the way to the fact the her and her sibling and me and my sibling's birthdays are exactly a week apart, just like the other.

It just kind of WOWED! us about how much we had in our favor.


Fast forward to current day. I have never in my life been happier. This woman is like a female me, just way cooler. Things are going so well. I never couldve guessed that I would've found a woman so compatible with me.
She is the kindest, sweetest, most amazing person I have ever met and wouldn't you know it, she actually wants to be my lady
:mindblown:

So yes, folks in unhappy relationships....There really is somebody out there for you....despite what you may think.

I am so happy


edit...and oh yeah, we both made our POF profiles on the same day :smile:


Edited by shLong (10/25/13 01:08 AM)


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Offlinelowbrow
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: shLong]
    #19029940 - 10/25/13 08:02 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm three years into a relationship with my girlfriend and things are great.  I love her with all my heart.  We're celebrating our first date anniversary today.


--------------------
Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: shLong]
    #19030366 - 10/25/13 10:21 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:omgawesome:

my sweetie & i also have a ton of super random things in common! i love it!


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #19030392 - 10/25/13 10:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i heard this quote the other day -

"A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl."


yeah, it's like that.

i love my man.

:heartpump:


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Offlinebrianstequila
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19038873 - 10/27/13 12:15 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I will put my 2cents in. I met my wife 18 years age and we got married 14 years ago. We both did some fucked up shit to eachother the last few months but we decided to get back together and stsrt over. She is everything to me and I love her more than anything, I feel lucky to have found my true love even though we almost grew apart. We are back together and we are better than wewas when we first met. The hard times just made us closer.


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Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Thomas Jefferson

Not My trade list i aint got shit anymore
:drunkdriver:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19161913:drunkdriver:


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OfflineFunkyBuddha
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: brianstequila]
    #19039315 - 10/27/13 03:59 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I have been with my current girlfriend for nearly 3 years and she is the best thing in my life. She helped me discover myself and I love her to death. She is my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. We met through a school rockband and as soon as I saw a girl as beautiful and funny and sexy as she is rocking out a bass, I knew she was the one. I asked her out the next day and haven't looked back since :smile:


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: FunkyBuddha]
    #19040050 - 10/27/13 10:14 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:psychsplit:


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19040110 - 10/27/13 10:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and we literally couldn't be happier.  I've never had some much fun and so little stress as I have done the past 3 1/2 years.  Until I met him I didn't think this kind of relationship was possible. We have so much in common. We both love music and spend half of our lives going to gigs and festivals. And luckily we both love psychs too!  We spend a lot of time together, and during the summer we often go travelling around for a month or more and are quite happy in each other's pockets.  But we can also have our own space and the freedom to do our own thing.  We have never argued about anything serious, and only bicker about silly things rarely, and even though neither of us are very good at expressing our feelings we somehow manage to communicate quite well :smile: 

What became really apparent to me in previous relationships is the way people try and control each other. They think because they are in a relationship they have the right to say what you can or can't do, or to subtly manipulate with disapproval etc.  But one of the things I love so much about this relationship is that we can both do whatever we want without that fear.  We have trust.


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Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir


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OfflineSimms
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19076549 - 11/02/13 06:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pika* said:


I've been with my guy for a little over a year. We met online & started out as long distance (about 5-6 months) and then moved in together last february. He. is. amazing. I never knew I could share so much with a partner, and connect on so many levels. We teach each other, challenge each other, read books together, love music together and laugh together SO much. Co-created love magic.







I wish relationship with my girlfriend was the same >(

I have broken up with her on many occasions, but she keeps coming back and is generally so good. Has done nothing wrong and I respect her. Se is basically the nicest person I have ever known.

But under that niceness I don't see much depth, sometimes we don't have anything to talk about. Whenever I propose something, she would agree.

Recently I had a life experience with her and made a deal with myself to try and work on this ups and downs. Of course, I am a bit stressed because of work, this is affecting relationship too.


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Simms] * 3
    #19077122 - 11/02/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

29 years for Mrs. MPD and me.  We are perfect for each other and that is why our relationship works so well.  I can't explain it, it just is one of those things.


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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Offlineshimmeringtrance
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: mpd]
    #19077206 - 11/02/13 09:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Great thread idea, Pika. :smile:

I've been married 15 years very happily. My wife & I only dated for a month, then went and eloped in Las Vegas.

I think a huge amount of what makes people happy in relationships is respect for each other. Name calling and treating someone poorly isnt the way to go.
Sometimes in relationship threads on this site I see guys calling women hoes or saying they're all evil and self absorbed. To those people I would say take a good look at yourself first.

Happiness is out there but it takes a bit of effort.. :smile:


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: shimmeringtrance]
    #19094444 - 11/06/13 09:04 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

thanks!  it's definitely making me smile to read all these posts.


:hippie:


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19107300 - 11/08/13 07:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

hey happy shiny people!

curious what you all think about the terms commonly used to refer to your significant other - boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, "partner", etc.

my sweetie & i were just talking about how we feel boyfriend/girlfriend is too casual for what we are to each other, but we can't really figure out any alternate terms. i like "my beloved" but that's too....pretentious for conversation with a co-worker...ya know?


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19107482 - 11/08/13 08:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pika* said:
hey happy shiny people!

curious what you all think about the terms commonly used to refer to your significant other - boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, "partner", etc.

my sweetie & i were just talking about how we feel boyfriend/girlfriend is too casual for what we are to each other, but we can't really figure out any alternate terms. i like "my beloved" but that's too....pretentious for conversation with a co-worker...ya know?




I know what you mean about boyfriend/girlfriend sounding too casual - when talking to other people I usually say partner.


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Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

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There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

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OfflineM_Glenn_M
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #19109538 - 11/09/13 08:46 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

44.5 years now.
We can discuss anything.
We are habitually philosophical.
We both try to be the best we can be.
We are not afraid to say I'm sorry.
We are aware of the day to day workloads and share them.
We have passion in hobbies(my music, her painting, our motorcycles)
We loved our work (My home design, her bookstore)
In the end, perhaps a large dose of good luck and gratitude.


Edited by M_Glenn_M (11/09/13 10:22 AM)


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #19109910 - 11/09/13 10:58 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
Quote:

pika* said:
hey happy shiny people!

curious what you all think about the terms commonly used to refer to your significant other - boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, "partner", etc.

my sweetie & i were just talking about how we feel boyfriend/girlfriend is too casual for what we are to each other, but we can't really figure out any alternate terms. i like "my beloved" but that's too....pretentious for conversation with a co-worker...ya know?




I know what you mean about boyfriend/girlfriend sounding too casual - when talking to other people I usually say partner.



I also like partner.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19164139 - 11/20/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

was talking in another thread with tymoteusz about fighting in relationships.

where do you all stand on this. do you fight with your partners? if you don't fight do you consider that a reason why your relationship lasts?

this was my response to him in the other thread -

@tymoteusz3 - I just want to point out that NOT fighting is not an ultimate sign of a great relationship. I think the way a couple fights and what about is more the indicating factor of a healthy relationship or not. I also think it's good to be able to express a full range of emotions with your partner. I know GREAT couples that fight pretty regularly and others not so much. I guess it also depends on the individuals.....


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InvisibleK1ngSp4de
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19164420 - 11/20/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This hits the nail on the head pika*. Arguing is a part of a relationship, you're bound to not agree on something. Compromise is usually part of the solution. My wife and I don't argue too much, partly because if it isn't that big of a deal she will just bite her tongue, which I would rather she bring it up, because I always speak my mind to her, whether it is going to be received well of not. That's how a relationship grows, you get to know each other much more.

I'm going to post a quote that may not be on this "fighting" topic, but I always thought it was a great excerpt.

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
― Louis de Bernières, Corelli's Mandolin


--------------------
                                    PC Repair and Troubleshooting Forum

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so.
                                                - Thomas Jefferson

                    Si peccasse negamus fallimur et nulla est in nobis veritas.


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InvisibleshLong
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: K1ngSp4de] * 1
    #19164482 - 11/20/13 10:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My lady and I haven't fought yet, nor really had any stark disagreements.
We're both pretty easy going..
I know it'll happen eventually, but I am enjoying the honeymoon while it lasts, for sure.

Truth be told, I'm sorta looking forward to our 1st argument to see how we handle it...


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny]
    #19164692 - 11/20/13 11:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I wouldn't say I fight with my partner, but we certainly bicker from time to time, but always allow each other to express our feelings.  We disagree, but there is never the notion that either one of us doesn't care or is mean to the other person and says nasty things.  Often there is quite a jovial atmosphere to our arguments. 

I've been in relationships previously where full on fighting was a regular thing, where I would often be reduced to tears and feel so hurt (or even say hurtful things myself to get my own back).  We would scream at each other, and that definitely wasn't healthy.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: PocketLady]
    #19170453 - 11/21/13 02:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

It took me years to get to the point where I am now. I think that I had to grow up myself...younger years I was very selfish/ self-centered....today I am very comfortable with who I am, and that is the most important thing in any relationship. I also have ceased trying to change anyone...that dooms things from the get-go.
Tried the online dating thing and thought I found someone, but after 5 years, they revealed their true self and failed to address ongoing addiction probs...that is still a mess in my rear view mirror (having bought a house together)....Anyway, I thought that I was just destined to be single the rest of my life, which I was ok with,by the way.

Then, while visiting my sick mother in the town I grew up in (not where I currently reside) I met an old friend from high school....she looked absolutely amazing!....she glowed! Anyway, I asked her to dinner to catch up the following week and basically unloaded my messed up life story on her...she didn't flinch....told me some of her own stuff (we hadn't seen each other for 32 years!)LOL...there was alot to tell.:grin: Long story short....I felt then and still feel 1-1/2 yrs later an amazing feeling...that we were destined to be together....like it was arranged in some sort of spiritual way. This is something I have never before experienced....We are a amazing love.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #19184636 - 11/24/13 09:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

me and my boy have been off and on for over a year, mainly because when i had birth control in my body giving me constant hormones made me batshit crazy, but now that ive had that removed, things have been perfect again. he's always by my side. we get into our bickers but in the end we just love being with each other.. im positive i can see myself marrying him in 8 9 years. its crazy when you start dating your best friend. but :feelsgoodman:


--------------------
"what do you call Discovery?
I call it rape of the natural world."

"In the end
the choice is all yours."


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: LuuuCid]
    #19185333 - 11/25/13 02:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

LuuuCid said:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?




YES! from the very first minute we met, it just hit me.. and he felt the exact same way. he told our mutual friend after i left, that i was his dream girl. ive never felt so comfortable and content with anyone in my life before.. i love it <3


--------------------
"what do you call Discovery?
I call it rape of the natural world."

"In the end
the choice is all yours."


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: acidxprincess] * 1
    #19185880 - 11/25/13 08:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:noargument:


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #19194413 - 11/26/13 09:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pika* said:
I feel like this forum is full of too much of the dark side of relationships. I guess maybe once we find a good one, we're too busy with the light & love to post about it on the shroomery - :tongue2: or maybe we feel like we would be bragging if we did?

I don't know, anyway, just wanted to open the floor for discussing your happy long term relationships! maybe it will give the rest of you hope, and inspiration to NEVER SETTLE!

I've been with my guy for a little over a year. We met online & started out as long distance (about 5-6 months) and then moved in together last february. He. is. amazing. I never knew I could share so much with a partner, and connect on so many levels. We teach each other, challenge each other, read books together, love music together and laugh together SO much. Co-created love magic.

:yinyang2:

tell me about your good love & how it works!


[flash=480,81]http://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=
[/flash]




I was friends with my current girlfriend for over one and a half to two years before we started dating.  Now she's both my best friend, and the best sexual partner/girlfriend/soulmate I could have.

All things are impermanent, but I'm enjoying this for as long as it lasts.  :grin:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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InvisibleHalfLight
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #19253007 - 12/09/13 10:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've officially been with my girl for 17 months (we were involved for eight months before that) and couldn't be happier :smile:

She's working on a degree in nursing, I'm working on degree in Psychology, then I'll go through med school, then get my PhD in Psychiatry medicine. She wishes to be a nurse in a hospital, and I wish to conduct research at my state university.

She goes to school an hour and a half from where I live and stays in the dorms, yet we still manage to see each other nearly every weekend, and talk on the phone/skype all the time.

We have conflicting views spiritually (I have a spiritual side but it's based nearly entirely in science, she's Christian who abides by the New Testament, not the old), we have conflicting views politically (I'm an anarchist, she's a communist though we are both avid human rights supporters), have slightly different timelines for our desires involving marriage and children, yet with all these differences we still love each other enormously and actually enjoy them.
Our arguments aren't typically arguments, rather intellectual debates and they don't get hateful either.
She's also pansexual. I don't identify with any sexuality or gender much, though we do remain monogamous.

My woman is the most beautiful person I've ever been in contact with, and she makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I definitely want to be with her for the rest of my life, though I'd be alright opening our relationship sexually once we're living together.

:inlove:


--------------------
dead man walking


Edited by HalfLight (12/09/13 10:33 PM)


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #20463025 - 08/23/14 01:51 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Just thought I would bring this thread back...always good to hear some uplifting relationship news amidst all the confusion, frustration & drama.

:heartpump:

I'm still with my same partner, my sexy, brilliant, amazing man. we just got through setting up the office in our new house. we finally unpacked all our books and organized them onto three shelves. they look so sexy, hehe, we're such nerds for book porn. we've had some ups and downs around our recent move, but all in all we make a perfect team and are still co-creating magic moment to moment.

how bout y'all?


--------------------


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 5
    #20464100 - 08/23/14 11:05 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks for resurrecting this thread; it is a good one. :sun:  I think everyone pretty much knows about my relationship, but I wanted to contribute anyway.  So, for those of you who don't already know:

My fiance and I have known from the moment we met (5 years ago) that we wanted to be together.  Of course, initially it was a physical attraction, but it quickly developed into a real connection that has lasted and deepened over the years.  We're not perfect, and our relationship isn't "perfect" either, but we are perfect for each other.  Yes, we disagree sometimes.  We get angry sometimes.  We're human.  But we truly love and respect each other, and that's what makes our relationship work.  The majority of our time is spent enjoying each other's company, no matter what we're doing.  When we disagree, we talk it out.  If we can't come to a common ground on something, we agree to disagree with the understanding that both our opinions are valid & deserving of respect.

We're currently expecting and couldn't be happier.  The "party phase" of our relationship is over, but we don't miss it.  We're happy to have the wonderful memories, and we're looking forward to the adventures ahead.

To the single folks reading this thread: 
-Real love exists, and it's totally attainable. 
-Don't attach yourself to preconceived notions of what a happy relationship looks like; each one is unique. 
-Be honest with yourself and others about who you truly are, and above all, love and respect yourself. 
-You've got to be happy with yourself before you can really be happy with someone else.  THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT, whatever your definition of that is.  It simply means that you have to accept yourself and be comfortable with your own company.

It's nice to see so many happy couples on the Shroomery.  I'm definitely in an optimistic mood now.  :inlove3:


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: sun_spots] * 1
    #20464180 - 08/23/14 11:26 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

That was well said


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Offlinesun_spots
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: zappaisgod] * 1
    #20464272 - 08/23/14 11:53 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Thank you :hatsoff:


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: sun_spots] * 1
    #20469192 - 08/24/14 10:10 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Yes, very well said sun_spots!!!

When I said perfect, that's how I meant it too. We're definitely not perfect and our relationship isn't perfect, but that's just perfectly "us", if that makes any sense.....

:hippie:


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #20469632 - 08/24/14 11:46 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)



--------------------


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: LuuuCid] * 1
    #20469710 - 08/24/14 12:05 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

LuuuCid said:
Quote:

SillyMe said:
Quote:

LuuuCid said:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?





Yes. I have this strange thing happen sometimes...I'm looking at him and feel overwhelmed with love and then he kind of glows. It's hard to explain and never happened before him.

We celebrate 3 years together tomorrow. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover. He is the comfort in my world.





that's exactly it!!! its so spiritual (i guess that would be the right word) just overwhelms you like nothing else. time some how freezes. i melt. every time. :love:

we celebrate almost 2 years. i feel like i would be lost with out him. hes my rock, my comfort, everything. its well sublime

isnt it great to share something like this with someone? we are lucky compared to most id say. im so greatful for it.




Personally, i can look into the soul of anyone who arent completely deffensive or detached from reality.. hard to find others who can aswell though.. how did you learn, before or after, with only that person or several?

That spiritual connection with a personal form for love, with such closeness.. it is what Ive allways been looking for.. how long did it take before you were able to do this? Or was it instantanious?


--------------------
And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.


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InvisibleSillyMe
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Re: Happy in a relationship? [Re: Icyus] * 1
    #20473405 - 08/25/14 05:11 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Icyus said:
Quote:

LuuuCid said:
Quote:

SillyMe said:
Quote:

LuuuCid said:

anyone else feel the same with their partner?

that you look into each others eyes and see deep down, the soul of the other?





Yes. I have this strange thing happen sometimes...I'm looking at him and feel overwhelmed with love and then he kind of glows. It's hard to explain and never happened before him.

We celebrate 3 years together tomorrow. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover. He is the comfort in my world.





that's exactly it!!! its so spiritual (i guess that would be the right word) just overwhelms you like nothing else. time some how freezes. i melt. every time. :love:

we celebrate almost 2 years. i feel like i would be lost with out him. hes my rock, my comfort, everything. its well sublime

isnt it great to share something like this with someone? we are lucky compared to most id say. im so greatful for it.




Personally, i can look into the soul of anyone who arent completely deffensive or detached from reality.. hard to find others who can aswell though.. how did you learn, before or after, with only that person or several?

That spiritual connection with a personal form for love, with such closeness.. it is what Ive allways been looking for.. how long did it take before you were able to do this? Or was it instantanious?





I never learned, it just happened - and pretty quickly into the relationship. I don't believe in love at first sight but he certainly made me question the possibility. It was the strangest thing, the way he glowed - a soft golden light around him and during those moments he just somehow looked different. The way I felt connected to him in an unearthly manner. Maybe it had something to do with him being the only person who I ever let in  - who I really opened myself up to - as my heart is pretty reserved.

Sadly, we are no longer together. It's been months and I long for the day that the tears stop flowing.

I did experience one other strange occurrence a long time ago. A guy I worked with who I didn't know well at all - he kept to himself. He was a very spiritual person - his life seemed to only consisted of work and his religion. I think he was a buddhist - not sure - he was vegan and often took vows of silence. But one day I looked up from my computer as he was walking across the room and there was a blue light surrounding him.


--------------------
Oh, wind and rain they haunt me. Look to the North and pray.
Send me, please, his kisses. Send them home today.
I'm begging, Jesus, please. Send his love to me.


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