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leon trout
Estimated Prophet



Registered: 09/13/12
Posts: 1,089
Loc: The Timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children 1
#19019513 - 10/23/13 01:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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so, last night... a little stoned, driving home from work... swung into the stop-n-rob for a deck of smokes & some munchies... picked up some Cracker Jack, i remember them shits being delicious... first thing i noticed was that they come in a bag now instead of the neat little box you gotta jab yr thumb through... kinda gay, but forgivable... while munching 'em, i came across the "toy surprise" in the bag... slipped it in my shirt pocket, thinking that it's neat they still do that... got home, forgot about it, crashed...
fast forward, this morning... that shirt, it's still cleaner than the rest, so on it goes... &, yay!, there's a surprise in the pocket... i pull the package out, smile & open it... i'm hoping for something like the little kaleidoscope/magnifying glass thing that they say someone is supposed to have started a fire with once, or maybe the little lick-n-stick tattoo thingy that yr supposed to keep away from the kids because yr girlfriend's roommate had a sister whose mother-in-law knew a guy whose kid licked one of those once & it had some droogz on it... but no, i am to be denied... a little, shitty piece of paper with an invitation to download the free cracker jack app on my smartphone... what the blue fuck is that bullshit?.. a smartphone app is not a goddamned toy, & the little piece of paper isn't even big enough to fold into a fucking airplane...
what the fuck, cracker jack?.. no wonder kids are so fucked up these days, when the bastions of american feel-goodery like cracker jack are lying to them about "toy surprises" almost from birth... that's it, i'm moving to zimbabwe & raising pygmies... there is no hope left on this continent...
fwiw,the cracker jacks were still delicious...
tl;dr: eat Crunch & Munch, at least they don't lie...
-------------------- “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” ~ St. Jerome of Marin
the bus come by & i got on, that's when it all began
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: leon trout]
#19019628 - 10/23/13 02:21 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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its been like that for about 10 years now, minus the smartphone thingy
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: Salomon]
#19019649 - 10/23/13 02:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Deplorable, OP. How will you continue your life under these extreme circumstances?
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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leon trout
Estimated Prophet



Registered: 09/13/12
Posts: 1,089
Loc: The Timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: mpd]
#19019655 - 10/23/13 02:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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i'll go to zimbabwe, & give all my pygmies real toy surprises... it seems the only option... the fuckery here runs too deep...
-------------------- “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” ~ St. Jerome of Marin
the bus come by & i got on, that's when it all began
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B_BOY
Phuck Ewe



Registered: 07/17/11
Posts: 2,819
Loc: O
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: mpd]
#19019659 - 10/23/13 02:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I got ripped by cracker jack a couple days ago
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jewunit
Brutal!


Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: leon trout] 1
#19019660 - 10/23/13 02:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Did you just basically go on a rant about not getting a fake tattoo?
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leon trout
Estimated Prophet



Registered: 09/13/12
Posts: 1,089
Loc: The Timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: filthy lying bastards destroying the hopes of little children [Re: jewunit]
#19019671 - 10/23/13 02:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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i kinda did...
-------------------- “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” ~ St. Jerome of Marin
the bus come by & i got on, that's when it all began
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