Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
I'm just a huge mess
    #19011016 - 10/21/13 10:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I know I need to leave my ex alone.
I have a boyfriend, who knows about this ex, and LOATHES him for perfectly good reasons.
Reasons I should hate him
but I don't

Instead, I worry about him constantly. Wondering if his homeless (by choice) ass is okay. If his delusional, angry state of mind has caused him to get into any trouble. Worrying.

I know I shouldn't think about him, but I can't help it. I don't want to forget about him, but I want this feeling of attachment to go away!

Or do I...?

Any advice on what I should do? I mean, I know I haven't given that much information, but you're more than welcome to ask me anything. Any input is welcome.


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekneesocks
Divineress
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 870
Loc: Puget Sound/PNW Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19011078 - 10/21/13 10:29 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You're wasting emotional energy by worrying about someone no longer relevant to you. Are you even friends? I think you should leave the past in the past.


--------------------
"An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt;
A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next."
-Bhagavad-gita 4:40


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19011079 - 10/21/13 10:29 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Whats your current boyfriend like?

Sounds like you may have a bit of a messiah complex from the little bit of information you've given


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBeside the Garden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: bloodsheen] * 2
    #19011101 - 10/21/13 10:34 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Old flames die hard.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: bloodsheen]
    #19011136 - 10/21/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Whats your current boyfriend like?

Sounds like you may have a bit of a messiah complex from the little bit of information you've given





Messiah complex?


He's wonderful actually.
I have never been with anyone else who has treated me as good as he does.
Every relationship does have it's problems, however.


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: kneesocks]
    #19011180 - 10/21/13 10:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

kneesocks said:
You're wasting emotional energy by worrying about someone no longer relevant to you. Are you even friends? I think you should leave the past in the past.





We are on speaking terms. I'm actually trying to make the decision on whether or not Ishould go see him tomorrow. He wants to talk and settle things. I'm assuming he wants to either try to get me back, or he's wanting to completely end things. Cut all ties. I could never take him back. ever. EVER. Because you're right, the past is the past. And our relationship was...one of the craziest rollercoasters I've ever been on.

You'd think he'd no longer be relevant to me, right? A part of me feels responsible for making sure that he's not going to kill himself or get himself killed. He needs someone to look out for him.

It could be my desire to help that keeps me here.


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCounterCulturest
-Positive Mental Attitude-

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19011187 - 10/21/13 10:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

why do you care so much, what was he like ? you must really dig him.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19011300 - 10/21/13 11:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kittybear said:
Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Whats your current boyfriend like?

Sounds like you may have a bit of a messiah complex from the little bit of information you've given





Messiah complex?


He's wonderful actually.
I have never been with anyone else who has treated me as good as he does.
Every relationship does have it's problems, however.



Messiah complex, meaning you sort of get off on being the person (girl) who saves someone (man). You like the idea that you are so great (no egotism required) as a girlfriend/human that you are able to save somebody from themselves.

Its a theory as to why so many women like to date fucked up men but grow bored with good, kind men. They need to feel like they are truly needed, not just wanted and appreciated


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: bloodsheen]
    #19011608 - 10/22/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Eh
it's not so much that i want to save him, or anybody for that matter.
I just want some freakin passion! Something that says "Hey you! Yeah you! I love you. and you are the most important thing to me...etc mushy-romantic-shit"

my ex shows more desire to be with me.
He shows me that he wants me

Where as my boyfriend...pretty much acts like I'm here to stay, so he doesn't have to even try. ya know?


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBeside the Garden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear] * 1
    #19011637 - 10/22/13 12:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I feelzzz ya. Lots of relationships get like that. Sometimes its a stage sometimes its a sign. Talk to him.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: CounterCulturest]
    #19012888 - 10/22/13 10:10 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CounterCulturest said:
why do you care so much, what was he like ? you must really dig him.



i care so much because of the connection that we had. maybe. i really don't know.


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineitsthedank
The Dude
Male

Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 5,980
Loc: The Gray Tapes
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19013471 - 10/22/13 12:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kittybear said:
Eh
it's not so much that i want to save him, or anybody for that matter.
I just want some freakin passion! Something that says "Hey you! Yeah you! I love you. and you are the most important thing to me...etc mushy-romantic-shit"

my ex shows more desire to be with me.
He shows me that he wants me

Where as my boyfriend...pretty much acts like I'm here to stay, so he doesn't have to even try. ya know?



Damn girl, you sound like me cept I'm the dude. And you're my ex...

I mean I guess we worry about each other equally. Apparently I've been a big issue in the relationships she has had after me. But we never stopped talking...and our relationship WAS a fuckn rollercoaster too. CRAZY!

I'm single though. And my girl would never take me back, even though we are really good friends now. I still kinda want her though:shrug:

Dude, we put each other in JAIL and we still talk!! WTF OP! I feel you girl, shit's weird but the universe will make everything the way it's supposed to be.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: itsthedank]
    #19013737 - 10/22/13 01:15 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

What you resist persists. Your attempts to not worry will probably result in more worrying, and also wondering and over-analyzing stuff.

If you feel like thinking about him, think about him, let it come, let it pass by itself and then go on with your regular business once it's done.

Is there a problem for you, do you feel like you're sort of cheating or not giving your man your full attention, or what's the problem with you thinking of said ex? It's not like you're screwing him or anything.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Spacerific]
    #19013799 - 10/22/13 01:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

That's why they call them old flames; they are impossible to get over and you will carry them in your heart and head forever.  Move on and live your life in gratitude for what was and how you made it special for you and for him.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibletrekie
Metal man
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities Flag
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19013847 - 10/22/13 01:44 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kittybear said:

my ex shows more desire to be with me.
He shows me that he wants me

Where as my boyfriend...pretty much acts like I'm here to stay, so he doesn't have to even try. ya know?





Well of course the homeless dude is all about ya. He needs a place to stay.


No one is homeless on propose unless they are a trust-fund baby or/and have one hell of a drug problem.

Maybe you should stay out of relationships till you get over your ex or  fugue out why you want him .

Dont use relationships to define you.  You can be single and showered with affection from many different men if that is what you desire


--------------------
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.



Edited by trekie (10/22/13 01:47 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Spacerific]
    #19014199 - 10/22/13 03:24 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:


Is there a problem for you, do you feel like you're sort of cheating or not giving your man your full attention, or what's the problem with you thinking of said ex? It's not like you're screwing him or anything.




I do feel like I'm cheating. Emotionally. I am not screwing him; however, today, I almost let that happen...
i'm a bad girlfriend :cryaboutit:


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19014303 - 10/22/13 03:43 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kittybear said:
Quote:

Spacerific said:


Is there a problem for you, do you feel like you're sort of cheating or not giving your man your full attention, or what's the problem with you thinking of said ex? It's not like you're screwing him or anything.




I do feel like I'm cheating. Emotionally. I am not screwing him; however, today, I almost let that happen...
i'm a bad girlfriend :cryaboutit:



So what exactly is going on there? You're SEEING this guy? Is he homeless but comes over for lunch or how does that work? Where does a homeless guy even fuck a woman, location-wise? :lol:

Your boyfriend is probably just having a good time, sounds pretty chill. Most men, when compared to the desperate dangerous homeless ex, will fall short in terms of enthusiasm.

Say you know about the ovulation and attraction to other men thing? Should be required reading for all women no exception, but so many either don't know or act like they didn't, thus sleeping around much more than they'd like, then go :facepalm: wtf was I doing, I have a good man at home etc. You know that whole deal?


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKittybear
Distroyed
Female


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Kansas, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Spacerific]
    #19014386 - 10/22/13 04:00 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yes yes I know this. This is the first time in a while that I've actually seen him in person. We talk off and on here and there. We just went for a walk, down a trail. and things just got really intense. It started off fine, he told me about his fiance and a few of the stupid things that he's done "because of me". but then he started to tell me something that I would be fucking INSANE to believe, but I think I might believe him...it's hard to say too much without giving away his identity,

I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend. And I don't really want to break up with him.

I think I just need a nice hard smack in the face.


--------------------
:getstoned:No day but today:heart::rail:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19014503 - 10/22/13 04:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kittybear said:


You'd think he'd no longer be relevant to me, right? A part of me feels responsible for making sure that he's not going to kill himself or get himself killed. He needs someone to look out for him.

It could be my desire to help that keeps me here.




Get over this.  Sometimes a drowning man drags his rescuer down into the depths with him.  Homeless by choice?  Fuck that.  Sounds like a world class flake.  If he needs taking care of it is somebody else's turn.  You fulfilled your sentence.  Move on.  Ditch him completely.  If necessary move a thousand miles away.  Never see him again on purpose.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: I'm just a huge mess [Re: Kittybear]
    #19014509 - 10/22/13 04:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Was that hard enough?  Because I can do better if you like.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
809 topic views. 2 members, 0 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 15 queries.