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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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gots jokes
#19012711 - 10/22/13 09:20 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Im in the mood for some fucked up jokes. Race, religion, whatever you got.
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Mush4Brains
LOOL HACKED!!!

Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits] 1
#19012736 - 10/22/13 09:27 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So you don't gots jokes, you wants jokes.
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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jokes, i could really use some tokes right about now, but alas i dont got any. . . .
anyways. . .
how many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0, they just beat the room for being black!
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Yes want jokes, but ill throw one out there.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Re: gots jokes [Re: buest]
#19012747 - 10/22/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
buest said: jokes, i could really use some tokes right about now, but alas i dont got any. . . .
anyways. . .
how many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0, they just beat the room for being black!
Never heard that one, that's hella funny.
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Shroomhunter510
Fussy Eater



Registered: 04/03/12
Posts: 408
Loc: Bahamas
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
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Re: gots jokes [Re: buest]
#19012770 - 10/22/13 09:39 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Just what came to mind
America begs for ]change , just like the homeless.
I put a dollar in the change machine and nothing changed.
: What's one thing that will never get old ? Those kids from sandy hook elementry
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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A farmer went down to his pond to get a pail of water to feed his cows. At the pond he found three naked women swimming who immediately covered themselves up and told him they wouldn't let him have a peek. In fact, they told him to leave. He replied, "That's okay. Stay as long as you like." Lifting the pail he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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the mad machinest
Medicine Man



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 4,249
Loc: parallel universe #420
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Re: gots jokes [Re: mpd]
#19012795 - 10/22/13 09:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a pizza doesn't scream in the oven
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Pizza don't scream
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Shroomhunter510
Fussy Eater



Registered: 04/03/12
Posts: 408
Loc: Bahamas
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
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When your young , you don't know, but you don't know you don't know, so you take some chances. In your 20"s and 30"s you don't know, and you know you don't know, and that tends to freeze you, less risk taking, In your 40"s you know, but you don't know you know, so you may be a little tentative. But then as you pass 50, if you've been paying attention, you know and you know. TIME FOR SOME FUN!!
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for woman to be streetwalkers.
How can the crash course and collision course have 2 separate meanings ?
Why don't they have rye pancakes ? Grapefruit cookies? Fig icecream ? Can'teloupe pie ?
Alot of the people who keep guns at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seatbelt
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Telumbe Maur
Stranger

Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 102
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19012803 - 10/22/13 09:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.
You know you're a good rapist when she gets on top.
How many Jews can fit in a car? 100; 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 95 in the ashtray.
There will be a raindance on friday night, weather permitting.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapuss.
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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all good
why do black men always have red eyes after sex?
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19012842 - 10/22/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
saviorsam said:
all good
why do black men always have red eyes after sex?
Crack rocks?
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jewunit
Brutal!


Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Quote:
the mad machinest said: what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a pizza doesn't scream in the oven
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? A black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
-------------------- !
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19012854 - 10/22/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
saviorsam said:
all good
why do black men always have red eyes after sex?
The pepper spray
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Re: gots jokes [Re: jewunit]
#19012862 - 10/22/13 10:03 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
jewunit said:
Quote:
the mad machinest said: what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a pizza doesn't scream in the oven
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? A black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
What?
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jewunit
Brutal!


Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits] 1
#19012870 - 10/22/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Shitty one line jokes usually aren't worth explaining. Either you get a cheap laugh or you don't.
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The Ecstatic
Chilldog Extraordinaire


Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 33,365
Loc: 'Merica
Last seen: 31 minutes, 52 seconds
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Re: gots jokes [Re: jewunit] 1
#19012901 - 10/22/13 10:13 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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a priest and rabbi are walking past a playground when the priest says "hey lets go fuck those kids." The rabbi excitedly replies "out of what?!"
--------------------
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hidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19013037 - 10/22/13 10:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
saviorsam said:
Quote:
buest said: jokes, i could really use some tokes right about now, but alas i dont got any. . . .
anyways. . .
how many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0, they just beat the room for being black!
Never heard that one, that's hella funny.
and then they shoot the dog
-------------------- You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right -------------------------------------------------------------------------- pons asinorum -------------------------------------------------------------------------- lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever
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hidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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whats the workers at a dog shelters biggest fear?
a police raid
-------------------- You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right -------------------------------------------------------------------------- pons asinorum -------------------------------------------------------------------------- lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever
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Nimpo
Big Black


Registered: 05/10/12
Posts: 2,375
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Not a single joke to even smirk at. Step it up
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drkkenny
Explorer

Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19013192 - 10/22/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well I'm unsure how to describe the feeling a joke gives me. So because of this slight concern about how it will effect me, or rather not have any effect on me, that would allow me to hear a joke without it seeming to bother me.
Somethings are just naturally funny, in my point of view if you can look at the world from a comic angle then you may cope better. For sometimes you will view a joke and wish to substitute a different method of expressing oneself.
Though at times you might wish to employ a joke to someone to incite laughter, if that is what you desire in the jokes texture, how the joke appears to you once revealed.
Sometimes I won't joke for atleast a month, or perhaps even longer. Last time I joked I was outside my house with someone I recently met, though they left me as soon as they talked to me, for some reason they didn't wish to speak to me. I then knew that I wouldn't have anyone to talk with for atleast another hour. So in a way a joke was played on me by attending to someone whom wasn't there, or in some ways gave the impression of being somewhere else other than the place he is. Later on I left my house and I wanted to find someone to tell a joke to, I was quite eager to send them the joke. Though they informed me that someone had told him this same joke a year before, but he heard it from someone that only told jokes on occasions. Some occasions he would wish to excuse himself from ever presenting a joke to someone that he may not acknowledge is there, and may even ignore them to the point it seems he is being rude, though without any outward signs of that rude manner of speaking.
I actually have a big book on jokes on my table in the kitchen, its been sitting there for the last week. The only benefit of keeping it there is it prevents dust from attacking the surface of the book, so without that dust there it comes off more presentable as a book you can turn to anytime. Since indeed, people will walk by my kitchen table and consult the book, sometimes fishing out a funny line produced by some comedic talent and inform everyone in the household. They actually don't rest until everyone knows the joke, and also knows it in every form it can appear. I was thinking of moving it into the table in the opposite room, my grandma said that the cat might find it amusing for awhile. Sometimes it did jump on the table and stare at the picture attached to the front, and for some reason her eyes would glow at this cover.
Well I've no longer have anymore jokes I can lend you, I think I may have ran out with my last remark, and perhaps I won't make a remark until someone speaks to me, then I shall impart the remark designated for you.
--------------------
No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away. God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages
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Poor Boy
Fuck'O The Clown



Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 7,473
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whats the difference between batman and a black man?
batman can go in the store with out robin.
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Poor Boy
Fuck'O The Clown



Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 7,473
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there was a little black boy out riding around on his bike when a drunk driver hit and killed him. as the boy came too he saw that he had wings and was so very excited. just then he sees god across the way. he flies over and asks,
"god, does me having wings mean im an angel?"
god simply replies,
"nah nigga, yous a bat!"
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Khii Khwaay
black tooth grin

Registered: 04/16/12
Posts: 2,277
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19013361 - 10/22/13 11:59 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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What is the warmest organ in a woman's body up to 48 hours after death?
....mine ......
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a corvette in my garage
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: gots jokes [Re: zee007]
#19014427 - 10/22/13 04:08 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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. Couldn't keep it in here and sleep well.
Edited by tyrannicalrex (10/23/13 10:29 PM)
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SoreSpore
Registered: 03/06/12
Posts: 7,481
Loc: Halfway there...
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Poor Boy said: whats the difference between batman and a black man?
batman can go in the store with out robin.
Quote:
The Ecstatic said: a priest and rabbi are walking past a playground when the priest says "hey lets go fuck those kids." The rabbi excitedly replies "out of what?!"
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Dutch-Master2890
Stranger

Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 377
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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Two black guys are walking down the street when they see a store with a machine that can turn you white for a dollar. The first guy walks in gets it done and walks out saying wow this is awesome. The second one says cool can I borrow a dollar so i can get it done? The first guy replies get a job nigger.
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spore baby



Registered: 07/30/13
Posts: 4,918
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: gots jokes [Re: Dudits]
#19463444 - 01/23/14 04:38 PM (10 years, 7 days ago) |
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.
Edited by spore baby (12/19/14 08:42 PM)
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Mush4Brains
LOOL HACKED!!!

Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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What do you call a short Mexican man?
A paragraph, he's too short to be an essay.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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