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Offlineshroomseng
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Registered: 01/20/06
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Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus
    #19010050 - 10/21/13 06:52 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So here goes with some storytelling :smile:

First I must say, it is an honor to participate in such a nice forum, I've been looking for a forum to participate in and meet new people for a long time, I didn't realize it was just under my nose until today.

A while back, I used to take hallucinogens quite regularly.. So as I reached the point of no return, a few strange things happened, circling around a man who shall only be referred to as Jesus.

Jesus looked like Biblical Jesus, White guy (though some might argue that he was in fact black,) beard and long hair. Tall but not too tall. Perfectly Jesus tall. He also smoked lots of bud, and we all know Jesus smoked bud to keep his cool. Jesus was a graduate physics student, and knew and could explain all kinds of shit. One time I helped him move into a new apt, and he dragged with him all sorts of technological physics shit that was very heavy, and he did not disclose the purpose of. I reasoned with myself that it was for mass mind control. He was a very turn the other cheek kind of guy, and I was mean to him a few times and he just let me have it. Then I'd feel bad and apologize.

He performed 3 miracles.

One day, he sat cross legged on a workout ball, one of those inflatables that I owned. I had tried to sit on the ball not cross legged, and that was hard enough. I asked him if I could kick the ball to test his balance, and he said sure. So, I kick the ball. He does not fall. I proceed to kick the shit out of the ball with all of my strength, laying flat on my back to get more muscle in there, and he still did not fall. Kind of like walking on water don't you think?

So the second miracle is related to the first. Amazed by Jesus' performance, I called for backup. My room mate, we'll call her the Virgin Mary, came and lied down with me, and kicked the shit out of Jesus's ball together. He did not fall.

His last miracle was the modern breaking of bread, or gathering of fish. We went to the supermarket, and Jesus wanted to get some Tilapia. So I assume since it's for my house that I'm going to pay for it, and he didn't mention the price at all, so I just got a good boxful. At the counter he surprises me and pays for the fish. So there, another modern miracle.

Jesus also was amazing at Soulcalibur.

Finally, Jesus is stabbed in the side.. By me. As my condition developed into complete schizophrenia, I began tattooing. I told people I would only tattoo the images that God let me hallucinate onto your skin. On Jesus I tattooed a bunch of random lines that made absolutely no sense and were of negative aesthetic value.

So there-
To this day, I believe I met- Jesus, from my own perspective. Cheers.
Do you believe I met Jesus?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (10/21/13 05:51 PM) to (No end specified)
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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: shroomseng]
    #19010079 - 10/21/13 06:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:freshwtf:

:feelsweirdman:


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Invisiblecez
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Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #19011227 - 10/21/13 10:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Ya u definitely saw Jesus :thumbup:
Way to go!


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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: cez]
    #19012097 - 10/22/13 03:32 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You will certainly be born as a pig in American industrialized pig farms for your next 27 lives at the very least, for tattooing bad shit on Jesus' side and other assorted disrespectful acts.

Good news is that pigs have 30 minute orgasms :thumbup:  :thumbup:  :thumbup: :nyan:
Bad news is that they don't have orgasms at all in industrialized farms.

Just lay back and enjoy the rest of your human existence :satansmoking:


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Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Invisiblecez
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Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: Spacerific]
    #19012173 - 10/22/13 04:45 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So are you Jesus now?


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OfflineYogi1
Squatchin
Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 1,015
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: cez]
    #19012913 - 10/22/13 10:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

cez said:
So are you Jesus now?




:yes:


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Offlineeve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
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Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte Flag
Last seen: 24 days, 16 hours
Re: Shroomseng's Run-in with Jesus [Re: Yogi1]
    #19013621 - 10/22/13 12:49 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'd always wat Djethez!


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