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Invisibleevenbreak
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Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
im not having sex and im ashamed
    #19007663 - 10/21/13 09:48 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Is this normal? I'm not even ugly or hideous, i'm kind of average looking but i just never put myself out there. I've been stuck in this social hole where I don't really meet any new people or go out that much so I don't really get laid that much.

But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again. I find it extremely depressing that i'm 25 years old and i'm kind of a social shut in who doesn't get laid :frown:.

I want to change really bad and I know the solution is to talk to more people but i don't know where to start.

So basically i'm asking how i'm supposed to establish a new social circle and meet new people so i can be a happier person and not be a horrible over-sensitive mess that i am right now.

because right now i'm hating life :frown: ...


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 2
    #19007672 - 10/21/13 09:53 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. If it's happiness you are seeking, then stop seeking and just be happy. It's the seeking that is making you unhappy.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: nicechrisman] * 1
    #19007692 - 10/21/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

chris is right..

next time one someone says something about you not getting laid, you should make it priority to go hook up with their gf, or ex.  Thats what I would do


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Posts: 583
Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: sprinkles]
    #19007706 - 10/21/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
chris is right..

next time one someone says something about you not getting laid, you should make it priority to go hook up with their gf, or ex.  Thats what I would do




that's not in my capabilities...

the issue is i have this huge glaring weakness that anyone can see. And all they have to do to completely break me down is to exploit that weakness... it's so emasculating and humiliating. I can't help it. I realize i'm not being rational, but i just feel those emotions despite that realization.


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19007718 - 10/21/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

What is this huge glaring weakness? The fact that you aren't getting laid? I haven't been getting laid lately either. It's no biggie. Just go do the things you enjoy. Maybe check out meetup.com to find some groups of people who are passionate about the same things you are. Sooner or later you'll meet someone.

Or you can go the other route and go out to meatmarket bars and clubs and force yourself to interact. Honestly doesn't work that great for me, I prefer to just be patient.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19007728 - 10/21/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

don't be ashamed of it, instead be proud of the fact. admit to yourself and be comfortable with it.


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz]
    #19007740 - 10/21/13 10:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

how can a guy be comfortable with the fact that he isn't getting laid? For me, not getting laid isn't a choice. It's because I have some emotional issues and anxiety issues that are preventing me from getting close to people. So when people make fun of me for being bad at dating, it's really striking a nerve and it kills me. They're basically calling me a loser and making me feel like less of a man. Because it's the truth, and the truth hurts.


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19007751 - 10/21/13 10:14 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Sounds like you could use to make some new friends, or just try to not take it so seriously. You are really just stuck in a particular vantage point where sex seems like the most vital thing in the universe. Honestly, I'm usually happier when I'm single. I guess I just haven't met the right lady yet.

I guess if it's really sex that is SO important to you, maybe you should consider going to a prostitute or something. Or try online dating.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19007754 - 10/21/13 10:15 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

well then accept the truth that you may be a loser, but don't let it discourage. use it to your advantage and let it be your motivation to try harder.


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Invisiblethelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz]
    #19007777 - 10/21/13 10:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

what do you have to lose by approaching a female?
stop jerking off completely and you will be far more motivated to approach a girl.  Testerone does some wonderful things.  Overcome fear, which is not a tangible force in your life.


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InvisibleEdibleStereos
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz] * 2
    #19007785 - 10/21/13 10:24 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm 26. Don't get laid much since my last ex. Been through a couple girls since then, but none of them worth the time. Not too concerned.

Don't focus on getting laid or not, sort out your own issues first, get your confidence back, then try to find a girl who helps bring out your confidence and good traits.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 5
    #19007796 - 10/21/13 10:26 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again.



What the fuck man? Chill out sheesh lol damn dude


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
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Invisiblethelanzii

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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Sheekle]
    #19007807 - 10/21/13 10:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You have to be grounded have a confidence and strength in yourself to be able to approach and pursue a female.  If not you will either be friend zoned or turned the fuck down.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 2
    #19007819 - 10/21/13 10:31 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
making me feel like less of a man.



What's up with the whole "feeling like a "man"" thing in society an shit

Just b urself bro it's all good :awesomenod:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineLSDreams
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz] * 1
    #19007828 - 10/21/13 10:32 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

How do people even know that your not sleeping with anyone?? Having sex regularly makes people depend on someone. Its just a primitive urge to make you reproduce. In other words it isnt essential. Maybe you should just work on being sociable first, and making new friends.


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Offlinegulper2323
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19007892 - 10/21/13 10:48 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You shouldn't be ashamed, you're just having a dry spell. No biggie, everyone goes through it.

The dry spell you're probably going through is probably nothing, I once didn't have sex for 18 years :nonono:




















0-18 was a difficult time in my life :tongue:


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OfflineDeeBee
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: gulper2323] * 1
    #19008110 - 10/21/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Sex is not that big of a deal man.  I haven't worried about girls or hookups for awhile now.  Just fix yourself first, the sex will come later.


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Invisibletrampis
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: gulper2323] * 1
    #19008120 - 10/21/13 11:41 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Think of it like this OP, you could not be getting action and use that time to do other things that will build up your confidence like exercising more, taking up hobbies, going to school, etc. . .

OR you could get some action and perform terribly which would probably make you feel worse than if you just didn't get any in the first place. :cookiemonster:

I suggest using this time to grow in other areas of your life and when the time is right you will find someone. You will probably appear more attractive to the ladies if you grow in other aspects of life as well, which will make it easier to meet a lady.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: trampis]
    #19008332 - 10/21/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

fuck your friends. they sound like they use you to make themselves look cooler than you. go to a random party. Halloween is coming up. dance at said party with as many girls as possible and be as flirtatious as possible. if a girl looks at you like she wants to fuck you, then she probably does.


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InvisibleKhii Khwaay
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19008363 - 10/21/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Op, you should thake a trip to Brazil or Thailand or somewhere like that and get so much pu**y that you're sick of it.


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Offlinedrkkenny
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19008407 - 10/21/13 12:46 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I have a friend that is similar to you except he doesn't purposely ignore people but just pretends to to hide the fact he wishes to not ignore them. He will not seem to show any sign of wishing for you to indicate your dreams, for he hears that if you haven't seen a girl you may have saw one without having known.

Maybe you will meet someone who seems like someone that is much more beautiful than you could ever be, you feel this person whom means so much to you, someone you never wish to let go, someone that you can never see being someone  you'd wish to abandon for another, for you would never be able to resist the temptation associated with meeting them.

but if you never met them and met their half brother then you might have assumed that you saw not that person but someone else whom tried to look like him. But sometimes you can't seem to relate to anny of the attributes associated with someone much more beautiful than you, and since the beauty is so overbearing, the beauty so deep and real, that you can feel this beauty perfuming each of your moment. You cannot resist the urge to be apart of the beauty of this event, this glorious event in which you imagined yourself much more beautiful than you really ever could amount to, for you would have to be more beautiful than a Roman saint living in the Roman period while inhabiting the real world.

I know a circle you may wish to be invited to, its a circle which normally doesn't allow just anyone into its center, not everyone should be able to listen to things much more important than themselves, the fact that something more important than you exists makes you consider presenting yourself as more beautiful than something which has no match.

I'm talking to you as a person wishing for you to acknowledge the beauty in front of your eyes, the beauty which you have been kept unaware of for so long and which I'm revealing to you for your own benefit. Though some people cannot see beauty in themselves and will refrain from acknowledging it as a dominant role that has completely altered their foundations in life. For we know you must havea a sturdy foundation in order to attain to goals in which you have been left out and haven't discovered until recently, since some goals are not approachable in some aspects of the exchange of social intercourse, because you would have to regard the exchange as something which was not made to make you forget your own personal goals, but one which reminded you of those goals which  you have forgot all about. For instance you  might be unable to resist the urge to become associated personally with the goals of someone else in order to attain your own, since you can feel  that certain people have goals that they have already achieved and no longer regard anything that happens as anything, but something which had to happen but which we might never speak of again, since after we were done speaking it would perhaps never be brought up again, thus, the thought of speaking on something which has subsisted seems positively useless. I sometimes will have one of my circle members run out to get me a coffee, and they will see some people walking back from the beach and he would wonder when they would return back to them, for we invited nearly everyone who wished to attend, never not allowing anyone entrance into a circle in which they never had any connect except throuhg vague semi contact which didn't even seem to give anything but a sort of representation of how you should perform in life.

For the circle would actually never invited anyone into their group, they would never invite someone they just met, you would have to be invited into a different circle in order to have a circle to consist in. Since we have a certain ceremonial aspect related to each decision to prolong your social intercourse, which sometimes doesn't actually get prolonged and only seems that way, because in some ways you would feel that much time has really went by since becoming connected with something you had no knowledge of before it appeared to you.

Sometimes we will talk to people that want to get invited into our group for some reason, they, even after having left the group they just joined a minute ago, and in that minute deciding no longer to participate in any of their social equations, for you might not wish to be involved in something which revealed how you should act in life. If you are examining the situation in a nurses jacket on the top floor of a hospital in London which no longer exists there because it was torn down recently.


--------------------

No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19008416 - 10/21/13 12:49 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i haven't had sex in a minute either OP, but just realize that society puts undue pressure on you to have sex. If everyone would just chill out about it, it would probably be easier to get everyone laid (and isn't that the goal here lol). So do your part, OP. Chill the fuck out =)


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 2
    #19008431 - 10/21/13 12:53 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
how can a guy be comfortable with the fact that he isn't getting laid? For me, not getting laid isn't a choice. It's because I have some emotional issues and anxiety issues that are preventing me from getting close to people. So when people make fun of me for being bad at dating, it's really striking a nerve and it kills me. They're basically calling me a loser and making me feel like less of a man. Because it's the truth, and the truth hurts.




Who is doing this? Stay the fuck away from them, they're sapping your mojo.


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Offlinempd
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: psi]
    #19008469 - 10/21/13 01:00 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You got to get out more or use one of those online dating warez sites.


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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InvisibleA Day InThe Life
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: psi] * 1
    #19008498 - 10/21/13 01:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

psi said:
Who is doing this? Stay the fuck away from them, they're sapping your mojo.




I have/had a "friend" like this, I really don't talk to them much anymore.. And for good reason. They just act in a way belittles me and subtly points out all my faults and basically kills my confidence whenever women are around (when there are no women in the equation though, they're not so bad).. It took me a long time to realize this. I think it makes them feel better about themselves, they really are an emotional leech and I feel a lot more confident and am a lot better with women when they aren't around. To be honest though, this just shows me that its all in your head and that I should work on not feeding off of other peoples energy so much.. Still though, probably best to remove people like this from your life.


--------------------

:print:  Free Spore Ring Canada  :print:


Edited by A Day InThe Life (10/21/13 01:12 PM)


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InvisibleUnholyChild666
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19008526 - 10/21/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

nobody except God has sex in the matrix


--------------------



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OfflineDeeBee
The Cake is a Lie

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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: A Day InThe Life]
    #19008528 - 10/21/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

A Day InThe Life said:
y don't talk to them much anymore.. And for good reason. They just act in a way belittles me and subtly points out all my faults and basically kills my confidence whenever women are around.



Yeah I used to hang out with a guy that would do this pretty much all the time, even without women around.  Once you get rid of them it makes it alot easier to have self confidence.


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19010146 - 10/21/13 07:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Interesting related article. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/20/young-people-japan-stopped-having-sex

I find it interesting that the government views this as a problem. I would think lower population density would mean a higher quality of life. I guess that's capitalism for ya though.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19010157 - 10/21/13 07:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Me either, baby, me either :highfive:

Maybe we should just have sex with each other.


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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19010254 - 10/21/13 07:28 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm in the exact same boat op and it's devastating at least know you're not the only one feeling like this.:feelsbatman:


Edited by brokentv (10/21/13 07:41 PM)


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: brokentv]
    #19010311 - 10/21/13 07:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

if you don't want to change friend groups, then there is always the option of shoving their heads down the fucking toilet next time they try to rub your nose in shit.


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Offlineshortpork
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: passifloracaerulea] * 1
    #19010346 - 10/21/13 07:53 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Hey man why are you so set on getting laid? Yea its nice but why are you letting yourself believe youre not acceptable with who you are? Just chill man, i know its easier said then done but truly, just forget what other people think and be yourself. Girls like a genuine, goofy awkward guy more that a fake macho man. Atleast IME. Sex shouldnt be what completes happiness for you


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It's all a lie. Everything's alive.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: shortpork]
    #19010368 - 10/21/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

sex is everything!


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OfflineSupernova77723
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #19010473 - 10/21/13 08:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Read "Magic Bullets" and just focus on your innergame.


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: passifloracaerulea] * 1
    #19010487 - 10/21/13 08:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

passifloracaerulea said:
sex is everything!



it's so not man, and it's kind of sad to think so imo.

OP, I haven't been laid in MONTHS since my last relationship and you know what? It really isn't that big of a deal. I certainly don't want another girlfriend anytime soon, and while it would be nice to get laid, my happiness is certainly not dependent upon it. Learn to love yourself. :hippie:


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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InvisibleTrentBoyett
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19010567 - 10/21/13 08:34 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm not having sex, in fact I'm alsost positive I never have.

I'm not ashamed, I don't give a fuck.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: TrentBoyett]
    #19010582 - 10/21/13 08:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Learn to talk. It isn't hard. If you want something go get it.

Too many of these threads on the shroomery. If you want a girl go find one. Simple enough.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

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InvisibleA Day InThe Life
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: mushroom_sandwich] * 1
    #19010673 - 10/21/13 08:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Learn to love yourself. :hippie:




..And you will attract love.


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Offlinementalpatient
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: A Day InThe Life]
    #19010679 - 10/21/13 09:01 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I havnt had sex in about 6 years. Porn gets me through. Love that porn.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: A Day InThe Life] * 1
    #19010683 - 10/21/13 09:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

A Day InThe Life said:
Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Learn to love yourself. :hippie:




..And you will attract love.




This accompanied with my post honestly.

How can you love someone else when you can't even love yourself?


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

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"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Enjoywho]
    #19010792 - 10/21/13 09:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Im in a similar situation as you...






except I'm perfectly happy beating my dick a few times a week...

so not really


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19010818 - 10/21/13 09:29 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

A few suggestions -

1. Start working out, taking proteins and creatine. Getting ripped will make you more attractive, give you confidence and relieve your anxiety and depression

2. Try using alcohol or benzos to give you the courage to go to a bar and approach women

3. Contact a prostitute or escort for sex, if possible go on a vacation to somewhere where prostitution is legal and go wild

4. Offer your butthole to gay men for casual sex

5. Become a Buddhist and embrace celibacy in favor of a spiritual life of meditation . Join a monastery and become a monk .

6. Join a dungeons and dragons group and forget about sex in favour of imagination driven fantasy adventures in a world that never was

7. Take some MDMA and have a talking therapy session with a trusted friend or family member , or do it alone and use the medicine to learn to love yourself

8. Start doing crystal meth and join the party and play community , you will be having endless sex before you know if.

9. Take an ayahuasca ceremony and get some perspective

10. Get a flesh light , blow up sex doll or Japanese sex robot.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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Offlinemathieu
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #19010867 - 10/21/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Someone said Meetup.com, I 2nd that: there's peeps all over the place. Take care of your social wellbeing before worrying about the nookie


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Exemplify.


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Offlinekneesocks
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19010912 - 10/21/13 09:50 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
Is this normal? I'm not even ugly or hideous, i'm kind of average looking but i just never put myself out there. I've been stuck in this social hole where I don't really meet any new people or go out that much so I don't really get laid that much.

But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again. I find it extremely depressing that i'm 25 years old and i'm kind of a social shut in who doesn't get laid :frown:.

I want to change really bad and I know the solution is to talk to more people but i don't know where to start.

So basically i'm asking how i'm supposed to establish a new social circle and meet new people so i can be a happier person and not be a horrible over-sensitive mess that i am right now.

because right now i'm hating life :frown: ...



You shouldn't be ashamed, since you're not really missing out on much. If you really want to change your life and be more sociable, then start today, or tomorrow or even right now. Can't get anywhere without taking that first step you know. If you've never put yourself out there then you haven't tried, and without making an attempt you can't exactly expect to succeed. Of course you're going to fail a bit too, but pick yourself up every time and move on and learn. That's life.

If you want to go out and talk to more people then do it. Obviously don't be a creeper. If you're wondering how, then you could ask around to find a party to go to. Or you could meet someone due to a common interest or hobby. Or go to a bar or club, or just talk to someone who looks like they're open to conversation. You have a lot of options!

But you shouldn't be ashamed or hating your life just because you're not having sex as much as you think that other people are. And you shouldn't have sex with just anyone. Or if you don't care about that then find a hooker or something. But I think you should save it for someone special. I haven't had more than two different partners in my life and I'm about your age.


--------------------
"An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt;
A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next."
-Bhagavad-gita 4:40


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InvisibleUnifloo
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19012064 - 10/22/13 03:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
Is this normal? I'm not even ugly or hideous, i'm kind of average looking but i just never put myself out there. I've been stuck in this social hole where I don't really meet any new people or go out that much so I don't really get laid that much.

But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again. I find it extremely depressing that i'm 25 years old and i'm kind of a social shut in who doesn't get laid :frown:.

I want to change really bad and I know the solution is to talk to more people but i don't know where to start.

So basically i'm asking how i'm supposed to establish a new social circle and meet new people so i can be a happier person and not be a horrible over-sensitive mess that i am right now.

because right now i'm hating life :frown: ...




1 - Stop beating yourself up about something that doesnt fucking matter

2 - The more you think about trying to get laid, the more you will get desperate - chicks can smell that shit a mile away

3 - Stop beating yourself up about something that doesnt fucking matter

realise - that there are always going to be chicks out there that are on the same level as you in terms of interests and compatibility,

4 - And this is possibly the most important point - your social circle can make or break your chances of getting laid, if you have a limited social circle or you find that youre not meeting new girls through friends or co-worker well then branch out. Check out the internet for online dating or pick an interest or hobby of yours and attend social gatherings in your city.

There are countless women out there that want to get fucked, and many are looking for a guy like you. Its all about exposure - you need to expose yourself to like minded women as much as possible and you WILL get laid. Make no excuses such and being shy or having anxiety - plenty of women are shy and have anxiety too, find a chick who you can talk to about whatever you have in common and everything else will fall into place


--------------------
--------------------------------------------


Edited by Unifloo (10/22/13 03:08 AM)


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Offlinebuest
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Unifloo]
    #19012069 - 10/22/13 03:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

confidence in yourself and knowing that you are the party regardless of whether there is anyone else around will get you far!

Girls are backwards bro, don't ever trip on them.


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Offlineelborito
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Unifloo]
    #19012114 - 10/22/13 03:48 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Unifloo....top post :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2: for you, I've been stuck in a shitty head space all day and that post cleared it up.


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InvisibleUnifloo
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: elborito]
    #19012174 - 10/22/13 04:46 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

elborito said:
Unifloo....top post :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2: for you, I've been stuck in a shitty head space all day and that post cleared it up.




Stay positive dude :rockon:

Just noticed this

Amazon Shop for: Ayahuasca, Fleshlight

Wonder if amazon have a two for one deal at the moment


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Invisiblecez
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19012210 - 10/22/13 05:13 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm a 24 year old virgin who doesn't masturbate....


Don't talk about not getting laid :kingcrankey:


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Offlineelborito
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: cez]
    #19012222 - 10/22/13 05:23 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

lol dude have a tug.


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Invisiblecez
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: elborito]
    #19012233 - 10/22/13 05:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

At this point I'd rather just keep the streak alive :shrug:
Been about 2 months.


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Offlineshroommonkey
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: thelanzii]
    #19012473 - 10/22/13 08:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Speaking of which, perhaps some testosterone boosting methods could help get your "man" on? Perhaps maybe look up some conversation starting tips? Sounds like about anything would make you feel better than you do right now. Good luck


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Offlinekneesocks
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: shroommonkey]
    #19012648 - 10/22/13 09:00 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

By "testosterone" you mean "confidence", right?


--------------------
"An ignorant man is lost, faithless, and filled with self-doubt;
A soul that harbors doubt has no joy, not in this world or the next."
-Bhagavad-gita 4:40


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: cez]
    #19013186 - 10/22/13 11:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

cez said:
I'm a 24 year old virgin who doesn't masturbate....


Don't talk about not getting laid :kingcrankey:




Damn bro you must have some awesome vital force chi build up .

I envy you, I can't help but ejavulate every day but the taiists say once a week is best


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflinePureless
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Moonshoe] * 2
    #19013685 - 10/22/13 01:04 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm gonna say this, most people who blabber about how much ass they get, are usually liars. Seriously OP dont sweat it. Just put yourself out there


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OfflineWoodsyMermaid
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 2
    #19014566 - 10/22/13 04:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I know exactly how you feel op. What you need to do is to find yourself and be comfortable with yourself first. Seriously, get the fuck off the computer and go for a long walk in nature. Think about where you are in life and where you wanna be. Get some new hobbies, start up some projects, brainstorm ideas etc. Once you find yourself, you must find what you want..then go get it op! Thats all it takes!

And about your anxiety and poor social skills...go buy some lemon balm, it really really helps with social anxiety and general anxiety.(also lay off the weed,caffiene,cigs etc) Eating healthy and getting exersize really helps too. Also remember that everybody you talk to is a human too! Everybody has been in your place and everybody has the same wants and needs. Heck op theres probably a girl out there that is thinking the exact same way you are.

The only thing that is stopping you is your own mind.


--------------------
Psychoactive Drugs and Plants experienced:
Caffeine,Cannabis,Alcohol,Tobacco,Hydrocodeine,Psilocybin Mushrooms,LSD,25i-nbome,Kratom,Etizolam,DXM,Salvia,Amphetamine,DMT<3, Nitrous Oxide, Cocaine


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OfflineLSDreams
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: WoodsyMermaid]
    #19016552 - 10/22/13 09:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Ive never heard of lemon balm... just looked it up, is it more effective than kava kava?? Because so far, i took 5 times the suggested dose today and it still did not ease my anxiety.


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: LSDreams]
    #19017390 - 10/23/13 01:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

thank you for the replies everyone. i'm a bit surprised actually. Even skeptical, sorry i hate to doubt people who are trying to help me but i can't help feeling this way.

You guys are seriously saying that you won't think I'm a loser if we're friends or acquaintances in real life and you find out i can't get laid because i'm avoidant and don't have the necessary social skills and charm to sexually attract women?

I just feel this is a major flaw. I want to fix it, and I have the hope that someday I'll be good with girls, but in my current state I can't help but feel deficient.

I'm pretty good at surface conversations now I think, but I just suck at actually taking risks like being sexual or asking for her number or to hang out with me.


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Invisiblecez
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19017400 - 10/23/13 02:03 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Your friends suck if they judge you for such a misperceived and petty social flaw.

BTW I have a friend that sounded just like you...A year ago he couldn't get laid for the life of him..Now he's banging a plethora of girls and he still hasn't found what he's looking for.


Edited by cez (10/23/13 02:06 AM)


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OfflineLSDreams
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #19017417 - 10/23/13 02:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I dont have sex, and im completely fine with it. And again... if your ashamed of this that much, than dont tell anyone. Thats like if you pee the bed and really ashamed/embarrassed about it, you dont let people know.

I suck with girls too, because I like to become friends with them first to see just who they actually are, and then they only want to be friends.
I start to get in a funk to sometimes if I stop and think about how different my life is from others. But you just have to enjoy the simplicities that you already know are really exciting to you.

If you want to help your social anxiety, get out and be in public the majority of the time instead at home. Goto restaurants and coffee shops etc. more often to get comfortable being around other people.


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Invisiblethelanzii

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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: cez]
    #19017898 - 10/23/13 08:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

cez said:
I'm a 24 year old virgin who doesn't masturbate....


Don't talk about not getting laid :kingcrankey:



An ankle would make me Jizz in my pants if I were in your situation. 
that takes commitment


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Offlineshroommonkey
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: kneesocks]
    #19017983 - 10/23/13 08:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

kneesocks said:
By "testosterone" you mean "confidence", right?



Whatever works for you! :laugh: I was in a similar slump to this at one time. I didn't get anything done about it though because I had rather sit around and be depressed. Then I realized that nothing would change until I did. When I changed that, everything fell into place :smile:


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InvisibleSjaman
Registered: 10/02/13
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: shroommonkey]
    #19018121 - 10/23/13 09:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

sex is overrated... it stinks!


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Invisiblethelanzii

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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Sjaman]
    #19018304 - 10/23/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

to an extent sure.
can be mediated by diet choices such as veganism.
If the food you eat stinks, ya probably stink in general.

The wonderfulness of the experience highly outweighs the unforunate smell that can occur.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: LSDreams]
    #19018320 - 10/23/13 10:24 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LSDreams said:
I dont have sex, and im completely fine with it. And again... if your ashamed of this that much, than dont tell anyone. Thats like if you pee the bed and really ashamed/embarrassed about it, you dont let people know.

I suck with girls too, because I like to become friends with them first to see just who they actually are, and then they only want to be friends.
I start to get in a funk to sometimes if I stop and think about how different my life is from others. But you just have to enjoy the simplicities that you already know are really exciting to you.

If you want to help your social anxiety, get out and be in public the majority of the time instead at home. Goto restaurants and coffee shops etc. more often to get comfortable being around other people.



you should try and realize that you don't know a girl until you have sex together. then trust starts building. friendship walls are a joke and will get you nowhere except friends with girls you want to fuck. at least you can burn them down easy.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
    #19019206 - 10/23/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

If you define your self worth based on how much sex your having that is an arbitrary choice you are making and you can just stop making it.

You could just as easily be proud of never having sex, or indifferent.

In and of itself having or not having sex is neither good nor bad, its all up to how you value it.

There is nothing wrong with not having sex unless you decide there is.

But you will probably feel better if you have some sex and most people really enjoy it.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineNotTheDevil
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #19019410 - 10/23/13 01:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

passifloracaerulea said:
Quote:

LSDreams said:
I dont have sex, and im completely fine with it. And again... if your ashamed of this that much, than dont tell anyone. Thats like if you pee the bed and really ashamed/embarrassed about it, you dont let people know.

I suck with girls too, because I like to become friends with them first to see just who they actually are, and then they only want to be friends.
I start to get in a funk to sometimes if I stop and think about how different my life is from others. But you just have to enjoy the simplicities that you already know are really exciting to you.

If you want to help your social anxiety, get out and be in public the majority of the time instead at home. Goto restaurants and coffee shops etc. more often to get comfortable being around other people.



you should try and realize that you don't know a girl until you have sex together. then trust starts building. friendship walls are a joke and will get you nowhere except friends with girls you want to fuck. at least you can burn them down easy.



Did you really just say you don't know someone till you've had sex with them?


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: NotTheDevil]
    #19019428 - 10/23/13 01:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I did. I've thought about it and played back and forth with the idea and I think it's true. I never would have admitted it before but I go to burning man. I've learned to be more open about sexuality.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: NotTheDevil]
    #19019445 - 10/23/13 01:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

NotTheDevil said:
Quote:

passifloracaerulea said:
Quote:

LSDreams said:
I dont have sex, and im completely fine with it. And again... if your ashamed of this that much, than dont tell anyone. Thats like if you pee the bed and really ashamed/embarrassed about it, you dont let people know.

I suck with girls too, because I like to become friends with them first to see just who they actually are, and then they only want to be friends.
I start to get in a funk to sometimes if I stop and think about how different my life is from others. But you just have to enjoy the simplicities that you already know are really exciting to you.

If you want to help your social anxiety, get out and be in public the majority of the time instead at home. Goto restaurants and coffee shops etc. more often to get comfortable being around other people.



you should try and realize that you don't know a girl until you have sex together. then trust starts building. friendship walls are a joke and will get you nowhere except friends with girls you want to fuck. at least you can burn them down easy.



Did you really just say you don't know someone till you've had sex with them?



and for me I mean a girl. that could be different for anyone. honestly though, you see a girl again and again in a bar for months and get nowhere making small chat. the instant you make a move and she accepts, then all of a sudden you are getting to know her. sure it doesn't have to be sex, but at least some form of sensuality that causes desire.


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