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evenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
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im not having sex and im ashamed
#19007663 - 10/21/13 09:48 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Is this normal? I'm not even ugly or hideous, i'm kind of average looking but i just never put myself out there. I've been stuck in this social hole where I don't really meet any new people or go out that much so I don't really get laid that much.
But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again. I find it extremely depressing that i'm 25 years old and i'm kind of a social shut in who doesn't get laid .
I want to change really bad and I know the solution is to talk to more people but i don't know where to start.
So basically i'm asking how i'm supposed to establish a new social circle and meet new people so i can be a happier person and not be a horrible over-sensitive mess that i am right now.
because right now i'm hating life ...
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 2
#19007672 - 10/21/13 09:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Don't put so much pressure on yourself. If it's happiness you are seeking, then stop seeking and just be happy. It's the seeking that is making you unhappy.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: nicechrisman] 1
#19007692 - 10/21/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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chris is right..
next time one someone says something about you not getting laid, you should make it priority to go hook up with their gf, or ex. Thats what I would do
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evenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: sprinkles]
#19007706 - 10/21/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: chris is right..
next time one someone says something about you not getting laid, you should make it priority to go hook up with their gf, or ex. Thats what I would do
that's not in my capabilities...
the issue is i have this huge glaring weakness that anyone can see. And all they have to do to completely break me down is to exploit that weakness... it's so emasculating and humiliating. I can't help it. I realize i'm not being rational, but i just feel those emotions despite that realization.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 1
#19007718 - 10/21/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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What is this huge glaring weakness? The fact that you aren't getting laid? I haven't been getting laid lately either. It's no biggie. Just go do the things you enjoy. Maybe check out meetup.com to find some groups of people who are passionate about the same things you are. Sooner or later you'll meet someone.
Or you can go the other route and go out to meatmarket bars and clubs and force yourself to interact. Honestly doesn't work that great for me, I prefer to just be patient.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 1
#19007728 - 10/21/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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don't be ashamed of it, instead be proud of the fact. admit to yourself and be comfortable with it.
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evenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz]
#19007740 - 10/21/13 10:12 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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how can a guy be comfortable with the fact that he isn't getting laid? For me, not getting laid isn't a choice. It's because I have some emotional issues and anxiety issues that are preventing me from getting close to people. So when people make fun of me for being bad at dating, it's really striking a nerve and it kills me. They're basically calling me a loser and making me feel like less of a man. Because it's the truth, and the truth hurts.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 1
#19007751 - 10/21/13 10:14 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sounds like you could use to make some new friends, or just try to not take it so seriously. You are really just stuck in a particular vantage point where sex seems like the most vital thing in the universe. Honestly, I'm usually happier when I'm single. I guess I just haven't met the right lady yet.
I guess if it's really sex that is SO important to you, maybe you should consider going to a prostitute or something. Or try online dating.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 1
#19007754 - 10/21/13 10:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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well then accept the truth that you may be a loser, but don't let it discourage. use it to your advantage and let it be your motivation to try harder.
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz]
#19007777 - 10/21/13 10:22 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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what do you have to lose by approaching a female? stop jerking off completely and you will be far more motivated to approach a girl. Testerone does some wonderful things. Overcome fear, which is not a tangible force in your life.
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EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz] 2
#19007785 - 10/21/13 10:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm 26. Don't get laid much since my last ex. Been through a couple girls since then, but none of them worth the time. Not too concerned.
Don't focus on getting laid or not, sort out your own issues first, get your confidence back, then try to find a girl who helps bring out your confidence and good traits.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 5
#19007796 - 10/21/13 10:26 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
evenbreak said: But i'm extremely ashamed of that fact, to the point where if anyone ever makes any remark to me that I am lacking in my sex life, I instantly get extremely butthurt and can't ever be friends with that person again.
What the fuck man? Chill out sheesh lol damn dude
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: Sheekle]
#19007807 - 10/21/13 10:29 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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You have to be grounded have a confidence and strength in yourself to be able to approach and pursue a female. If not you will either be friend zoned or turned the fuck down.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak] 2
#19007819 - 10/21/13 10:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
evenbreak said: making me feel like less of a man.
What's up with the whole "feeling like a "man"" thing in society an shit
Just b urself bro it's all good
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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LSDreams
Contemplative Stoner



Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 1,184
Loc: Stuck in 3rd Dimension
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: zZZz] 1
#19007828 - 10/21/13 10:32 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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How do people even know that your not sleeping with anyone?? Having sex regularly makes people depend on someone. Its just a primitive urge to make you reproduce. In other words it isnt essential. Maybe you should just work on being sociable first, and making new friends.
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc:
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
#19007892 - 10/21/13 10:48 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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You shouldn't be ashamed, you're just having a dry spell. No biggie, everyone goes through it.
The dry spell you're probably going through is probably nothing, I once didn't have sex for 18 years 
0-18 was a difficult time in my life
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DeeBee
The Cake is a Lie

Registered: 08/07/13
Posts: 469
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: gulper2323] 1
#19008110 - 10/21/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sex is not that big of a deal man. I haven't worried about girls or hookups for awhile now. Just fix yourself first, the sex will come later.
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trampis
mad hatter


Registered: 01/01/06
Posts: 3,545
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: gulper2323] 1
#19008120 - 10/21/13 11:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Think of it like this OP, you could not be getting action and use that time to do other things that will build up your confidence like exercising more, taking up hobbies, going to school, etc. . .
OR you could get some action and perform terribly which would probably make you feel worse than if you just didn't get any in the first place. 
I suggest using this time to grow in other areas of your life and when the time is right you will find someone. You will probably appear more attractive to the ladies if you grow in other aspects of life as well, which will make it easier to meet a lady.
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passifloracaerulea



Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: trampis]
#19008332 - 10/21/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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fuck your friends. they sound like they use you to make themselves look cooler than you. go to a random party. Halloween is coming up. dance at said party with as many girls as possible and be as flirtatious as possible. if a girl looks at you like she wants to fuck you, then she probably does.
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Khii Khwaay
black tooth grin

Registered: 04/16/12
Posts: 2,277
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Re: im not having sex and im ashamed [Re: evenbreak]
#19008363 - 10/21/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Op, you should thake a trip to Brazil or Thailand or somewhere like that and get so much pu**y that you're sick of it.
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