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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Too quiet
#18997543 - 10/18/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I could have posted this in PSP or the health board but I decided to put this here.
For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.
Why is it anyone's problem that I'm not a loud talkative person? Why is it such a bad thing to be quiet?
Is it a sign of deviance? Spiritual weakness? Am I an evil person?
I feel like trying to be more talkative or loud would be a wasted effort, like trying to change my very nature.
On the other hand I feel like I've made a lot of progress with this. Although I am a pretty quiet guy I'm much more comfortable now holding a conversation. I guess I still have a long way to go though.
Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated!
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Am I an evil person?
Most definitely.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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I feel like people think I'm scheming or I have bad intentions.
I think I'm a decent person.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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You're likely imagining that. Most people are too busy thinking about how they are coming off to worry about what you seem like.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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But why do people not like that I am quiet, why do they judge me for that?
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ


Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 10 months, 9 days
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Check out my 'Coffee and Conversation' thread in PSP.
Do you find you're "too quiet" more-so in groups or do you also experience this in one-on-one conversation?
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Re: Too quiet [Re: WScott]
#18997680 - 10/18/13 09:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stay quiet man, no need to force yourself to spew bs and small talk. Keep it simple, and keep it real.
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K1ngSp4de
CHUT UP!!!




Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1,680
Loc:
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Re: Too quiet [Re: WScott]
#18997698 - 10/18/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.— ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
-------------------- PC Repair and Troubleshooting Forum If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson Si peccasse negamus fallimur et nulla est in nobis veritas.
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: I feel like people think I'm scheming or I have bad intentions.
Quote:
Icelander said: You're likely imagining that. Most people are too busy thinking about how they are coming off to worry about what you seem like.
Yeah, they probably don't think you are scheming, rather they are worried about what you are thinking about them while they keep jabbering on.
I'm naturally not very talkative and lots of people bring it up. Sometimes if people ask me and I don't particularly care what they think of me, I just won't say anything at all in response. Really freaks them out.
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Beanz



Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 668
Loc: dirty south
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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There once was a wise owl that lived in a oak the more he heard the less he spoke. the less he spoke the more he heard so heed the word of this wise bird.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
Icelander said: You're likely imagining that. Most people are too busy thinking about how they are coming off to worry about what you seem like.

People don't care that you're quiet. Maybe they just want you to vent your problems to them..Make them feel better about themselves.
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Withinity
Untitled


Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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You might be intimidating them a little as you are putting yourself in a position where you become harder to read. So that being said from the social aspect they find it harder to relate to you as you offer less social cues in terms of likes and dislikes so its harder for them so talk to you. That being said its all relative to the people you are around i don't think its so black and white I'm mostly talking from where heavily extroverted individuals are concerned.
There is nothing wrong with you but be careful to not manifest a problem by comparing yourself to others, remember in the west we are often taught bigger is better and that includes ones personality.
I personally love when i counter the silent types as once the shell is released they end up being interesting people though in some other cases very disturbed individuals.
If you feel comfortable with your silent nature then you shouldn't have to change for anyone , and IMO there are still people out there who would want to get to know you assuming you want to get to know them. To sum it up people are afraid of what they don't understand.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: But why do people not like that I am quiet, why do they judge me for that?
I dont' know. Don't even know if that's true or just your perception?
Choose friends that will be open with you and then just ask.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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snoot
look alive ∞



Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 9,641
Loc: 45º parallel
Last seen: 6 days, 21 hours
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Quote:
Sleepwalker said:
Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: I feel like people think I'm scheming or I have bad intentions.
Quote:
Icelander said: You're likely imagining that. Most people are too busy thinking about how they are coming off to worry about what you seem like.
Yeah, they probably don't think you are scheming, rather they are worried about what you are thinking about them while they keep jabbering on.
I'm naturally not very talkative and lots of people bring it up. Sometimes if people ask me and I don't particularly care what they think of me, I just won't say anything at all in response. Really freaks them out. 
I think quiet types can come off as a mystery to some people, and possibly making them uneasy. I can be seen as quiet, but I'm more content then anything, I wont hesitate to talk when I have things to say or someone worth saying them to. But like Iclander points out, most people are far too busy thinking about whether or not they did their hair right or if they smell too much like pineapple cocostink or whatever goes on threw most peoples heads to distract them from really thinking anything.
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∞ I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity. - Simone de Beauvoir -
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 1 month, 19 days
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: I could have posted this in PSP or the health board but I decided to put this here.
For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.
Why is it anyone's problem that I'm not a loud talkative person? Why is it such a bad thing to be quiet?
Is it a sign of deviance? Spiritual weakness? Am I an evil person?
I feel like trying to be more talkative or loud would be a wasted effort, like trying to change my very nature.
On the other hand I feel like I've made a lot of progress with this. Although I am a pretty quiet guy I'm much more comfortable now holding a conversation. I guess I still have a long way to go though.
Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! 
You would think that in today's world with the internet and facile instant communication with people from everywhere in the world, people would grow deeper and broader in their adaptation. But no! The opposite is true, people now assume everyone everywhere is just as shallow as they themselves. They think if you can't type out a text in a split moment then you're dull or retarded. People have long forgotten that you're a considerate buddy if you actually stop to think before replying.
In silence therefore, in other people, is doubt. They want an instant mirror of their jabberwokkiness, and they are quick to judge rather that take a moment to still the tide of surfacy silliness to get to something deeper.
My Friend, you are dealing with flakes. They cannot stand the T-gel of your personality. I suggest you don't try to make yourself different for the satisfaction of the shallow, but rather uphold your integrity and hold fast to what you know is real. That silence is life itself and is goodness. When that silence goes there will only be jibberjabber left, like the rest of dem chumps.
The mantra of the gigolo: fuck em all and let God sort em out.
-------------------- ...or something
Edited by eve69 (10/19/13 06:34 AM)
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: Too quiet [Re: eve69]
#18998683 - 10/19/13 07:16 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you all for the responses! I will reply tonight when I have time, though just reading through the responses has been helpful.
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: Too quiet [Re: WScott]
#18998686 - 10/19/13 07:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
WScott said: Check out my 'Coffee and Conversation' thread in PSP.
Do you find you're "too quiet" more-so in groups or do you also experience this in one-on-one conversation?
I don't really find myself to be quiet, it's others who put that label on me.
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Chronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
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The only way to truth is to keep quiet, so in my opinion you can not be too quiet
Let people judge you if they will, to truly be quiet you can't be concerned with thoughts, be it your thoughts or other peoples thoughts, so let people judge, don't judge them for judging you
The way i see it is that whatever people can judge is not me, whatever they see can not be me, to see me they have to turn within themselves, that's where I Am
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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On an experiential level, I've always been too quiet to get a job or get laid. In other words, I'm very disconnected. The tides of my life may be shifting out of this dismal shadow. I seem to have a job and yes I am just over broke.
Quote:
eve69 said:
Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: I could have posted this in PSP or the health board but I decided to put this here.
For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.
Why is it anyone's problem that I'm not a loud talkative person? Why is it such a bad thing to be quiet?
Is it a sign of deviance? Spiritual weakness? Am I an evil person?
I feel like trying to be more talkative or loud would be a wasted effort, like trying to change my very nature.
On the other hand I feel like I've made a lot of progress with this. Although I am a pretty quiet guy I'm much more comfortable now holding a conversation. I guess I still have a long way to go though.
Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! 
You would think that in today's world with the internet and facile instant communication with people from everywhere in the world, people would grow deeper and broader in their adaptation. But no! The opposite is true, people now assume everyone everywhere is just as shallow as they themselves. They think if you can't type out a text in a split moment then you're dull or retarded. People have long forgotten that you're a considerate buddy if you actually stop to think before replying.
In silence therefore, in other people, is doubt. They want an instant mirror of their jabberwokkiness, and they are quick to judge rather that take a moment to still the tide of surfacy silliness to get to something deeper.
My Friend, you are dealing with flakes. They cannot stand the T-gel of your personality. I suggest you don't try to make yourself different for the satisfaction of the shallow, but rather uphold your integrity and hold fast to what you know is real. That silence is life itself and is goodness. When that silence goes there will only be jibberjabber left, like the rest of dem chumps.
The mantra of the gigolo: fuck em all and let God sort em out.

Yeah there are strategies for the quiet to get connected. I need to stay put and slowly build long term contacts of value. My transient past kept me isolated.
Edited by usulpsychonaut (10/20/13 05:13 AM)
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viktor
psychotechnician



Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.
I'd put the information to use by ignoring people who thought I was too quiet.
In my experience, the kind of person who complains about others being too quiet is usually the sort of person who is not comfortable with their own thoughts and wants a distraction.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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