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Anonymous #1
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how do you deal with this?
#19002155 - 10/19/13 11:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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how do you deal with other people that are creeping and hitting on your significant other? inappropriate comments and half naked pictures being posted on your significant others facebook etc. my first instincts are violent. i will try not to act on them because i know its wrong but thats just how it makes me feel.
as much as i dont want to admit it i sort of get mad at my significant other over this as well for even chosing to remain friends with creepers like that knowing how it makes me feel. im not the mad jealous type at all, respect is just very important to me and when i feel as though somebody disrespects me and crosses an obvious boundary it really pisses me off. whatever ill get over it.
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19002228 - 10/20/13 12:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's on your lady, she would get rid of those fools if she didn't want the attention. People that feed on other people wanting them don't make good long term partners. Enjoy the relationship, have fun, but don't be surprised when the inevitable happens. Just don't take anything personal.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Dudits]
#19002398 - 10/20/13 01:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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as much as i dont like it, its true. i thank you for your honesty
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19002641 - 10/20/13 03:54 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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if i knew the person personally i would confront them. not only because she's MY bitch , but for the fact that he's being a creeper. i also agree though that it is mostly on your girl.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Quote:
Anonymous said: im not the mad jealous type at all
Of course you're jealous to some extent. Nearly everybody is. Might as well acknowledge it; it makes it a little easier to deal with.
Quote:
how do you deal with other people that are creeping and hitting on your significant other?
They're primarily your significant other's to deal with. Why do you feel the need to deal with them, or to even pay attention to them at all? Do you trust your SO? Do you believe (s)he's with you because you're the one (s)he wants? If yes, then let him/her deal with it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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You've just gotten some excellent advice in the above posts.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: koraks]
#19003356 - 10/20/13 10:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: im not the mad jealous type at all
Of course you're jealous to some extent. Nearly everybody is. Might as well acknowledge it; it makes it a little easier to deal with.
Quote:
how do you deal with other people that are creeping and hitting on your significant other?
They're primarily your significant other's to deal with. Why do you feel the need to deal with them, or to even pay attention to them at all? Do you trust your SO? Do you believe (s)he's with you because you're the one (s)he wants? If yes, then let him/her deal with it.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Me and my girlfriend have a mutual agreement, first offense she handles it, second offense I handle it.
Some guys can't take no for an answer. Some only learn what no means through physical resolution.
I'm not telling you to resort to violence. As much as I hate verbal resolution aim for it first. However if that doesn't work and they're still doing it. Handle it how you deem appropriate. Just remember this isn't the good ol' days where people only pressed assault charges for serious shit. Now adays if you fight, the loser usually ends up bitching out even if they're at fault.
Im all for privacy but have you checked your girls messages to see what shes sending them
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Mescalean]
#19004243 - 10/20/13 02:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mescalean said: Some guys can't take no for an answer. Some only learn what no means through physical resolution.

Unless someone takes a swing at your or your partner violence is never the answer.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19004288 - 10/20/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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you have to be creative with retaliation. you can find his facebook or whatever and send the half naked photos to all his friends and family. or you can take half naked pictures and send the cock pics to all his friends and family.
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19004293 - 10/20/13 02:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Violence is sometimes the only thing that gets across to someone. Especially if someone has the "fuck this dude im gonna fuck his girl" mentality.
We live in a violent world. Humans by nature are violent. Denying this is denying some of the very emotions that make us human. Never really bought into the whole world peace thing or violence doesn't solve anything jargon because I rarely see pacifism work. Just my views.
Obviously the op should opt out for non violence before, but be realistic, sometimes violence does speak the loudest especially to individuals who already do not respect boundaries.
I actually like the above post idea for fb lol
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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Quote:
Anonymous said: you have to be creative with retaliation. you can find his facebook or whatever and send the half naked photos to all his friends and family. or you can take half naked pictures and send the cock pics to all his friends and family.
Hahaha,funny but that's not the right thing to do. Unless you want to start dating some fucking dogs you gunna have to put up with dudes wanting to fuck your lady, there is nothing you can do to prevent that, and if you try your just gunna waste your time. So either date an ugly bitch or find a cute one you can trust. Don't resort to that high school crap.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: pwnasaurus] 1
#19004573 - 10/20/13 04:04 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mescalean said: Im all for privacy but have you checked your girls messages to see what shes sending them
"I'm all for privacy but you should really break your partners privacy and check her phone messages"... 
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
Mescalean said: Some guys can't take no for an answer. Some only learn what no means through physical resolution.

Unless someone takes a swing at your or your partner violence is never the answer.
and it's a good way to end up in trouble.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Pretty sure I said there could be legal action. Especially in this day and age where everyone seems to be lawsuite trigger happy. Op doesn't have to take my advice. The fact she talks to these guys would have me asking alot of questions questions myself. The advice I have given is based off of my life experience and the people I have dealt with in those experiences. Maybe my age has to do with my views. I am 22 and have only experienced a fraction of what I will in life.
Here, let me change what I said to better fit the peaceful hippyesque vibe of everyone else advices.
Trust her indefinetly op. Don't do shit either. Show these other men a passive attitude and let them know there are zero consequences for their actions of showing your gf their dicks. Let them know they will continue to get away with the sending of dick pics. Peace.
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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[Mod edit: No misogyny allowed here. A statement such as "women like to emotionally cheat which is 95% of cheating as it leaves them plausible deniability " is not going to be allowed in S&R.
--------------------
And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
Edited by tymoteusz3 (10/20/13 04:27 PM)
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Mescalean]
#19004670 - 10/20/13 04:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mescalean said:
Trust her indefinetly op. Don't do shit either. Show these other men a passive attitude and let them know there are zero consequences for their actions of showing your gf their dicks. Let them know they will continue to get away with the sending of dick pics. Peace.
Trust is paramount for a healthy relationship. If you don't trust your partner the relationship is over imo. If the girlfriend didn't want dick pics then she can take care of it by saying stop sending them to me, and if it persists blocking them. But in the end it's up to her and hers to deal with, unless she asks for help.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Mescalean]
#19004674 - 10/20/13 04:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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[Mod edit: Treat people with respect.]
--------------------
And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
Edited by tymoteusz3 (10/20/13 04:31 PM)
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: JesusIsLord]
#19004689 - 10/20/13 04:29 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sarcasm man... Read the above posts.
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Quote:
tymoteusz3 said:
Quote:
Mescalean said:
Trust her indefinetly op. Don't do shit either. Show these other men a passive attitude and let them know there are zero consequences for their actions of showing your gf their dicks. Let them know they will continue to get away with the sending of dick pics. Peace.
Trust is paramount for a healthy relationship. If you don't trust your partner the relationship is over imo. If the girlfriend didn't want dick pics then she can take care of it by saying stop sending them to me, and if it persists blocking them. But in the end it's up to her and hers to deal with, unless she asks for help.

It has nothing to do with your age. I had the same view when I was 18 as I do now at 24.
Edited by pwnasaurus (10/20/13 05:41 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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this is not the first time it has happen, and the same people for that matter over time. the first few times i let it go. but when the same people keep doing it and it happens 3 times in 1 day its hard to ignore. it sort have stacked up and thats when i got pissed off. i dont plan to do anything violent. let me state for the record my approach:
im going to let it go for now but if this happens once more from any of them. im going to tell her that she has to block these people and judge her reaction afterwards. i know she doesnt like to be told what to do so i never try to, but if this person loves me like they say they do, then they will do it with out an issue. but if they get really pissed off and it becomes a big issue, i will be suspicious.
because last night i was mad at the creepers. now i keep thinking
Quote:
Anonymous said: i sort of get mad at my significant other over this as well for even chosing to remain friends with creepers like that knowing how it makes me feel.
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19004967 - 10/20/13 05:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I just figured age would have something to do with it. A lot of members seem to give off the holier than thou vibe either because their older now and "see the error of past views" or are more mature for this view.
I always saw it as not letting people push me around. I don't go around looking for fights. Confrontation is always uncomfortable. But having been engaged in physical confrontation throughout my young adult life I can honestly state that my way works. It has ended all confrontation in the past rather than settling shit "the matire way"
Let me ask all of you this.
Whos girl is going to be harrassed for her goodies more?
200+ lb man gorilla who has a temper or the guy who passivly asks to "please stop doing that"
And op gauging her reaction sounds like a good plan for the non violent route, whats been her reaction this far
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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Anonymous #1
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: Mescalean]
#19005092 - 10/20/13 06:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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fucking UPDATE!
i just went on and Creeper #1: the person who has sent numerous inappropriate comments in the past, and recently the half naked picture. has commented now basically asking why they havent "hung out.". the last thing i wanted to see. just when you started feeling better about it theres that feeling again im coming to the conclusion that Facebook is evil! and maybe i should have a break from the Painbook.
just for a little more background. my significant other knows i have a problem with Creeper #1 even before the comments. i checked Creeper #1's profile and my significant other does not talk to Creeper #1 or respond to the comments. then more comments followed by the half naked pic. i didnt see the pic, when i was told about it i told my significant other to delete it immediately. they did. and the reaction was, "the pic was a joke, if you seen it you probably wouldnt even be mad." a joke? my point of view is that a half naked pic, is a half naked pic. and now Creeper #1 is seeming wanting to hang out! i am agitated again. i suppose i have to let this play out
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread



Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 2,054
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People will always hit on the person you're dating, it depends on how your girl/boyfriend deals with it. If they tell them to stop and it continues, it's so disrespectful to both of you and your partner should squash the situation to the best of their ability.
-------------------- "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: how do you deal with this? [Re: keyohnah]
#19005944 - 10/20/13 09:03 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
keyohnah said: People will always hit on the person you're dating, it depends on how your girl/boyfriend deals with it. If they tell them to stop and it continues, it's so disrespectful to both of you and your partner should squash the situation to the best of their ability.
Exactly. It sounds like your partner enjoys it, or at the very least doesn't mind. It's not your place to go beat the guy up to stop it. It's her business. If you don't like the way she handles her business, you can talk to her about, and if you're still not satisfied with the response you can break up with her if you feel that is the appropriate action .
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