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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/03/02
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Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Current situation - move in with parents, go to university?
    #18997901 - 10/18/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Hello Pub, I haven't posted here in awhile, but am seeking your advice.

So here's my situation:

Since I quit my fulltime job in the spring my life has improved significantly. Instead of the sense of hopelessness and drudgery, I have decided to take some steps in the right direction and get my shit together. As such, I am currently upgrading with plans to attend to University, hopefully this Fall.

Working only part time, and going to school 2 evenings a week has left me with alot of time which i get to allocate meaningfully, and it has substantially improved my lifestyle/diet/exercise. Because of this I feel a renewed meaning and confidence about my life. It is absolutely wonderful.

I am wanting to go to, and have been planning on apply to a program at UNBC.... Although it would be a leap of faith, and probably an uphill battle financially. I have my reservations, or (realistically) realize I have better options. While I was recently home for Thanksgiving and my parents offered for me and my longtime girlfriend to move in with them.

They built a big house on-a-hill-semi-rural, which I lived in briefly 4 years ago - they have a full 2 bedroom basement, with a living room, unfurnished storage room, Massive patio with view, and everything else I could possibly want. They even offered to put in a kitchenette (the house was built with the plan on adding an "inlaw" suite.

My relationship with my parents is good, although I don't feel we have a typical relationship as we don't get together with extended family much. We get along and mutually respect each other. I would have a high level of autonomy in their house, basically living in my own space, but sharing a meal more often than not.

The thing is - My mom has chronic pain and is a bit of a shut in. She is making baby steps to getting better, I can deal with that. However, My step dad has recently had several surgeries to remove cancerous tumours, and now it is in his blood and will spread throughout his body, he has been given 12-18months to live. He is working part time just to keep busy and wants to go travelling with my mom and with me and my girlfriend when we have the time.

They are basically offering to provide us with food and accomodation while we go to school, there is a local university in town although it is fairly low tier. I don't see it being much of a problem to do my first 2 years of science courses there and then transferring to UNBC.

I am 28, and it hurts my pride to move back home.

Here's my thoughts on the matter:

-My life is quite hectic right now just trying to do 2 courses upgrading and pay the rent and put food on the table. (although I am not a starving student by any stretch, we maintain a high quality of life.)

-It would be stupid to unnecessarily struggle anymore than I have to, when they are willing to be so accomodating.

-I moved out when I was 17 and I have my days of partying behind me, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by living with my parents. I am where I am, and the choice is bleak: Deadend job or university. Debt or move in with parents.

-I would be good to be there for my mom, to be a positive influence on her. And when my stepfathers cancer takes over, It would be good to be there with him emotionally and to step in where needed.

-All of this would be strange for my girlfriend. She says she'd be ok with it - but I don't really know how she'd cope if my mom is lethargic and sleep deprived and whatever... Her parents live in town aswell, I wonder if they'd prefer for her to move in with them and/if/or that would create any problems.

Anyways, if anyone has any similar experiences or comments, please share.

Thanks for reading.


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OfflineMush4Brains
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Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18997917 - 10/18/13 11:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Do it.


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18997922 - 10/18/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Holy shit dude a fucking basement, can I move in?


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18997923 - 10/18/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

hell im 30 and im moving back home...

doesnt hurt my pride at all..

ive been out of the house for so long i see it as a positive.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18997924 - 10/18/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

it sounds like you'd have a pretty sweet deal living with your parents. are you leaning towards that? don't worry about your pride, there's more important things. just do what feels right to you, follow your gut.


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OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: rackem]
    #18997934 - 10/18/13 11:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

There is nothing shameful in moving back in so long as you moving forward with your life. It'll save you a bunch of money and stress... just do it man.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18997952 - 10/18/13 11:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I think the universe is trying to tell you something, all the signs point to your parents. They are in need, you are in need, the table is all set and waiting on you.

I would go with what is best, not just for you, but for everyone.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU] * 2
    #18997958 - 10/18/13 11:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You have brought dishonor to your family, only seppuku can clear your name.


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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: zZZz]
    #18997973 - 10/18/13 11:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I suspected as such. Mature responses. Thank you.

I am actually not preoccupied with my pride, although I had been over the past couple years trying to put this situation out of the equation. Like you all, I am above all, rational.

Before I started rebuilding my life, I was hesitant to move back because I used to be pretty involved with drugs and kinda fucked my life up there. Now I am at a point where I am distanced from my past and I am no long fearful of having to face it.

I am heavily leaning on this, and have pretty much made up my mind. Will be speaking to an advisor at the university on Monday and go from there.


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Offlinebearlion
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Registered: 10/17/13
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Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18997975 - 10/18/13 11:23 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Im 27 and moved in with my mom today after a really hard divorce

Yes it hurts my pride but like you said, my party days are behind me and now I want to have  a balanced healthy life

As much as I love college, I have no college friends I still keep in real touch with, the key people in my life are family and childhood friends

Im also beating myself up over this new step in my life so its amazing reading your story, it has helped me

:thumbup:


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Invisibleunknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18997990 - 10/18/13 11:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

She's fucking someone else, bro

Move in, save money, go to uni, ???, profit


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Offlinemellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18998001 - 10/18/13 11:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

If I had a choice between working a job that ruins my life or move in with my gf at parents house to study at low tier uni I'd take the 2nd option without a millisecond of doubt.

One advice from me. When(if) you go that low tier uni do anything you can and I mean anything, use amps, sleep with the teacher whatever only to give you some advantage over the rest of the scum. You want to transfer as soon as possible and try to set your life on the right track.


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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: mellowparty]
    #18998072 - 10/19/13 12:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mellowparty said:

One advice from me. When(if) you go that low tier uni do anything you can and I mean anything, use amps, sleep with the teacher whatever only to give you some advantage over the rest of the scum. You want to transfer as soon as possible and try to set your life on the right track.




Yeah, I wouldn't take for granted the opportunity offered to my parents, that's for sure.


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Offlinemellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18998075 - 10/19/13 12:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

BTW I'm in a very similar situation so you're not alone.


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Offlinebearlion
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Registered: 10/17/13
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: mellowparty]
    #18998185 - 10/19/13 12:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mellowparty said:
BTW I'm in a very similar situation so you're not alone.




yea Im totally in a similar situation


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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: bearlion]
    #18998906 - 10/19/13 09:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

So I was also wondering about transferring universities?

Has anyone done this? What are the +'s and -'s?

Is it fair to assume that it would be preferable to do a degree program start to finish at the same university? Are first and second year university science (biology, math, environmental) courses essentially the same, and only become more specialized and program specific in the 3rd years and beyond?

(all of this seemingly common knowledge is lost on me, it's been so long, and I know hardly anyone who went to university. The process of applying and confirming transfer credits is confusing to me, and the local university has a shit website and customer service. :S)


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
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Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: mellowparty]
    #18999027 - 10/19/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mellowparty said:

One advice from me. When(if) you go that low tier uni do anything you can and I mean anything, use amps, sleep with the teacher whatever only to give you some advantage over the rest of the scum. You want to transfer as soon as possible and try to set your life on the right track.




Good luck with that

:smuglook:


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Invisibleunknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: PDU]
    #18999164 - 10/19/13 10:50 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
So I was also wondering about transferring universities?

Has anyone done this? What are the +'s and -'s?

Is it fair to assume that it would be preferable to do a degree program start to finish at the same university? Are first and second year university science (biology, math, environmental) courses essentially the same, and only become more specialized and program specific in the 3rd years and beyond?

(all of this seemingly common knowledge is lost on me, it's been so long, and I know hardly anyone who went to university. The process of applying and confirming transfer credits is confusing to me, and the local university has a shit website and customer service. :S)



+'s your local uni should have a program with guaranteed admission to all your state colleges maybe more, that is it you do really well and take that plan.

Couple of my friends did this, took 2-3 years of community college then went on to a well known school. They did have 3.75GPA or higher.

-'s it'll prob take a lot more time only taking 4-8 credits per semester, you need to at least take 12 but 16 is optimal and 18 if you think you can. But decide what you are able to take and still get A's in all the classes.

It's a low tier uni, so you need to come out of it with a 4.0 GPA if possible, which is certainly possible.

The school you are eventually trying to get into should have a pdf on their site that shows you classes transfer and which do not. You are right that you take a general curriculum the first 2 years. So that's what you will probably should plan to do. But I would look at the low tier college to see if they have a guaranteed acceptance program.

Yes, your 3rd and 4th year is where you begin taking classes that are in your major, You can start early and end up with a easy senior year but thats if you started your degree at that uni.

Remember even though you need around a 4.0 at the low tier uni, those grades will not transfer, only the credit. So once you get the the uni you want, continue to try as hard as you can to get a 4.0.


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OfflineMush4Brains
LOOL HACKED!!!

Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: unknown1123]
    #18999235 - 10/19/13 11:06 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:


Is it fair to assume that it would be preferable to do a degree program start to finish at the same university?





Not really, especially if you don't plan on going on to grad school

Quote:

Are first and second year university science (biology, math, environmental) courses essentially the same, and only become more specialized and program specific in the 3rd years and beyond?




Correct, they're called "generals" for a reason.

Quote:

So I was also wondering about transferring universities?




I went to the local community college during High School to gain college credits, and then went to one University, and transferred after a semester to another University.

Almost all of the credits transferred.  I think I lost maybe six credits total in both transfers, and they were both really dumb credits like "theory of music" class I was required to take at the CC so that I could get the High School credits I needed to graduate high school.  If the Universities are in the same system, it's almost guaranteed you should be able to transfer credits, and if the credits don't transer right away, you usually can appeal.

The biggest thing is though: KEEP ALL YOUR COURSEWORK AND SYLLABI.  If they deny a transfer credit and you appeal, these will be essential to try and get your credits.

So lets say you're transferring from the University of New Mexico - C campus.  A division three, small state school located in or near your hometown.  If you're transferring to the University of New Mexico, the main, Division 1 campus, you can be confident that all your credits should transfer.  If you're transferring to some small liberal arts college to a large state school, there might be a little more work put into it.

You can even take upper division courses if you feel ready, and those should transfer too.

Unknown1123 says that grades don't transfer, only credits, and maybe that is how it works in his experience, but looking at my final transcript I have "Transfer GPA" and "Resident GPA" all of which are totaled into my "Total GPA."

Good luck.


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Invisibleunknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
Re: Current situation - move in with parents, go to university? [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18999292 - 10/19/13 11:23 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

hm weird. It might vary by college or state. But if you go on to Law School, Med School, ect.. they will look at all your GPA's.

For example, my outside credits that I took during summer break from a local community college didn't transfer the grade, just the credits to the 4 year I was attending. But if I was applying to law/med/other higher education, they would want all your transcripts for your total GPA.

Source:
Ex-gf is currently a 1L


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