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OfflineGoldenEye
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1st world fruit troubles... * 2
    #18991710 - 10/17/13 04:17 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Don't you hate it when your fruit is giving you a hard time?
It's just so Goddamn difficult, isn't it?
Can't it just cooperate?
You're trying so hard to do the right thing, but nature just doesn't reward you...
Juices flying everywhere. Sticky as all fuck.
Especially kiwi's.
Kiwi's are bastards.


Edited by GoldenEye (10/17/13 04:42 PM)


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18991722 - 10/17/13 04:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)



Apricots. Gotta hate apricots.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18991731 - 10/17/13 04:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)



Soooooooooo photoshopped! At least 5 hours worth of retouching.
It's that, or the watermelon is fake.


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Offlinemnj
Rad Visuospatial Sketchpad
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18991738 - 10/17/13 04:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

dude, you just tore all of its skin off, of course it's a little bitter.

fruit is a give-take relationship


--------------------
LAGM 2024

:sagetrip:

Thank yoU
please come again
FrienD


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Offlinedokunai
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: mnj] * 1
    #18991774 - 10/17/13 04:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Mangoes fucking piss me off!  Fuck your seed or pit or whatever the fuck that shitty thing is!


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: dokunai]
    #18991796 - 10/17/13 04:41 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

dokunai said:
Mangoes fucking piss me off!  Fuck your seed or pit or whatever the fuck that shitty thing is!




Hell yeah. I forgot about them because I quit buying the clingy bastards a long time ago. They can never let go can they? Uptight attached fucks, loosen the hell up. Pretending to be all sweet and shit. Pfffff.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18991809 - 10/17/13 04:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Banana's are also evil. They make all the other fruits ripen 10 times faster when they are close to them. They are basically force feeding you your entire fruit stash. Evil.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18991992 - 10/17/13 05:34 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

It seems like there is very little hate against fruit here.

How awfully predictable.

Don't let your fruit dominate you.


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18992024 - 10/17/13 05:41 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

my mouth started watering reading this thread.  :bananadance:


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Folding@home Statistics
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Posts: 18,757
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: NWlight]
    #18992042 - 10/17/13 05:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)



--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18992056 - 10/17/13 05:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

NWlight said:
my mouth started watering reading this thread.  :bananadance:




OMG you are falling prey to their secret agenda. That's doing exactly what they want you to do! Don't let your fruit dominate you!

I am going to sleep and dream of fruit ninja...

I will hopefully awaken to a wealth of fruit hate so I can start my day with a smile.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18992077 - 10/17/13 05:52 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomopotamus said:





Yes, yes, the geniousness of this signature in this particular place did not escape me! :biggrin:


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OfflineReginaldPMcpoop
The Colour Out of Space


Registered: 06/30/13
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18993020 - 10/17/13 08:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Sometimes my oranges are too chewy and I throw them away


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:bananadance:


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Offlinerew736
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: ReginaldPMcpoop]
    #18993075 - 10/17/13 09:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You know how to defeat the banana at its own game? Put unripe fruit in a paper bag with the banana. As the banana ripens, it releases ethylene gas. This gas causes other fruits to ripen faster too. SO next time you grab some green bananas or mango or even avocado, you can use the banana to ripen the other fruits.


--------------------
My trade list
malicom said:
"Banana's emit radiation. In fact banannas are the standard in detecting solar radiation. The radiation read from a bananna tells scientists how active the sun was during the growing season. Make sure to steer clear of bananas too."
seekaytea said:
"I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin."
Wiccan_Seeker said:
"Your knowledge on male-on-male rape and willingness to engage in fantasy regarding the matter is commendable."
eminemvs.slimshady said:
"I want to know if they are active and magic or not. And if they are not active, can i pick them before they are active and then they will become active or do they have to grow till they activate?"


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: rew736] * 1
    #18993086 - 10/17/13 09:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Pomegranates.

They can kiss my ass.


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist
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Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18993224 - 10/17/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I hate how watermelon is so good but gets stuff all over.

I also hate when you're eating grapes and you get a mushy one.

I also hate brown spots on bananas. Another thing I dislike about bananas is I can't spell it without saying "this shit is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s" then that song gets stuck in my head forever, fuck you Gwen Stefani!!!


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Invisible4runner
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18993285 - 10/17/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Especially kiwi's.
Kiwi's are bastards.




Some people eat them with the skin... that sounds horrible to me.

I just cut them in half and use a spoon to scoop out the wonderful goodness, kind of like an avocado.

Easy peasy.


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: 4runner]
    #18993296 - 10/17/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

anunnakian said:
Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Especially kiwi's.
Kiwi's are bastards.




Some people eat them with the skin... that sounds horrible to me.





That sounds disgusting, the skins all hairy and shit... eww.


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Invisible4runner
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: dokunai]
    #18993303 - 10/17/13 10:04 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

dokunai said:
Mangoes fucking piss me off!  Fuck your seed or pit or whatever the fuck that shitty thing is!





Use a potato peeler.
Then just start slicing down along side that weird ass center part.

It's simple.

Now if you want to talk a pain in the ass.

I present to you the


What a messy son of a bitch.


Oh so good though.


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: 4runner]
    #18993320 - 10/17/13 10:07 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Them are so good though... they're worth the pain in the ass they are to eat.


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OfflineViol
sassy frassy lassie
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Registered: 10/16/13
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: TrentBoyett]
    #18993796 - 10/18/13 12:41 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I think I'll have a bowl of grapes tonight in honor of this thread.


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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18993811 - 10/18/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm eating an apple right now and it's giving me zero hassle.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: 4runner]
    #18994151 - 10/18/13 05:18 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Pomgranates are just a joke right?

I mean come on, really God? Imagine having to eat that thing without utensils!

Also, the only reason it is listed as an aphrodesiac is probably because Eve had a fetish for the things and enjoyed licking sticky juices of Adams sharp jawlines.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18994156 - 10/18/13 05:19 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Grapes take a piss at the whole creation.

Seedless grapes? Come on. Ridicolous.

Where do they find the seeds to grow seedless grapes then?


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18994157 - 10/18/13 05:20 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Are fruitflies any healthier than normal flies?


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Invisiblevolcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18994162 - 10/18/13 05:24 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Are fruitflies any healthier than normal flies?



No their just alittle more flamboyant.


--------------------

HAIL SATAN

Vas donc jouer dans le traffic


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InvisibleIndividual
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: volcomstoner]
    #18994169 - 10/18/13 05:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Grapefruits are truly evil!

They make you go blind by squirting acid in your eyes when you try to peel them.


--------------------
THE PHILOSOPHY OF LIBERTY <---                                               



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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: Individual]
    #18994173 - 10/18/13 05:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Why bother brother? They don't even taste nice!


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Invisiblevolcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18994181 - 10/18/13 05:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Grapefruit is fucking delicious

AndI never have an issue eating them or kiwi, you gotta get those spade shaped spoons with the serrated edges



--------------------

HAIL SATAN

Vas donc jouer dans le traffic


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InvisibleIndividual
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: GoldenEye]
    #18994186 - 10/18/13 05:37 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

sweet grapefruits are quite good, the usual bitter ones taste terrible


--------------------
THE PHILOSOPHY OF LIBERTY <---                                               



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InvisibleTrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: volcomstoner]
    #18994235 - 10/18/13 06:18 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Pomgranates are just a joke right?

I mean come on, really God? Imagine having to eat that thing without utensils!

Also, the only reason it is listed as an aphrodesiac is probably because Eve had a fetish for the things and enjoyed licking sticky juices of Adams sharp jawlines.





It wasn't god it was nature, they're not designed to be eaten by humans.

Quote:

volcomstoner said:
Grapefruit is fucking delicious

AndI never have an issue eating them or kiwi, you gotta get those spade shaped spoons with the serrated edges







What a brilliant utensil, whoever came up with that is a genius!


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: 1st world fruit troubles... [Re: TrentBoyett]
    #18994247 - 10/18/13 06:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Haha the first suggested similar thread:

"Anyone else love the taste of pomegranate, but can't stand all the stupid fucking seeds?"

Quote:

They get stuck in my molars. I need to get some sealant put on them or something. POMEGRANATES!:mad2:




YES!!!


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