Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
bad friends
    #18980367 - 10/15/13 08:08 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I have had the same group of friends since we were kids. We stuck together but there are a couple people in the group that I have developed a disliking for. One of them is very manipulative, and throughout our lives, hes caused SO MUCH pain in my life. He was always quick to talk trash about me and comment negatively over EVERYTHING I said. I still have social anxiety to this day because of this person. I have lost friends because of things hes said about me. I cant even talk about him because it swirls me into a deep depression... But in short. I HATE him and I can not pretend to like him anymore. I always had trouble bringing up issues with other people (because of how I let him treat me throughout my entire childhood). So bringing it up to him is difficult.

Hes brought the very worst out in me and its reached WELL beyond a tipping point. I HATE myself. I feel like the WORST scum on this planet and have 0 self esteem and 0 confidence. I get paranoid about how people talk about me behind my back. These issues have could SERIOUS trouble in my life... Getting a job for one. Whenever we met a new girl, he would bring up things and point out every little thing I did... SO I could never be myself. Over the past few years I have lost my self identity. Right now I cant even type because it causes SEVERE confusion. I dont know what to do, if I bring it up to him.. he just denies it and somehow turns it around on me. I was never good at arguing with people. In turn I let people walk all over me.

The feelings I have are seriously bad and NEED to be brought up, or its gonna kill me. I dont know why I let it bother me so much but it does. Im sorry about bringing this up, but i feel like I have no other choice because it overwhelms me on a daily basis.


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3]
    #18980375 - 10/15/13 08:11 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I have even had to watch what I said on this forum because I KNOW at one point, he was reading my posts and telling people about it. And this is the ONLY place I have been able express myself.


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 3 days, 12 hours
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3]
    #18980605 - 10/15/13 09:37 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I would stop hanging out with this person, cut him out of your life.  If he's in your big group of friends, stop hanging out in a big group, if you want to socialize with your other friends, do it one on one or in a small group.

At a certain age, the "group of friends" theme ends in very short order, so don't be afraid to exit that type of socializing today.

It's about acting independent, you don't need that type of socialization, you are better off alone and then meeting new friends.

Forget about this guy, move on and leave it, the best revenge is to live a great life. As people get older, they become much more selective who they hang out with, life is too short to waste on losers.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineclaraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: bad friends [Re: qman]
    #18980700 - 10/15/13 10:12 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah like qman said, just cut him off. there's no need for this person to be in your life, he's just a toxic influence. i've had a similar friend, dude. i still think about some of the stuff he's said/done about me and it hurts my feelings.

sometimes i wish i could confront him about it but he's just out of my life at this point. when we hung out he would judge everything i said and did and try to make me feel stupid. he would do this in front of other people too and one time when he left my house, he didn't know my windows were open and i could HEAR him making fun of me as he got in his car :frown: it hurts (especially because at one point we were really good friends), but you have to just try to let it go. i'm pretty sure he's talked shit and made other people not want to be friends with me, but if those people are lame enough to develop their opinions based on what other people say, then fuck 'em!


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: bad friends [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #18980919 - 10/15/13 11:19 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Drop said friends -> Find new friends.

If its causing you that much anguish, just move on. Really, its not easy, but its better than listening to someone talk shit to you all the time. :shrug:

I think a lot of us have had to deal with shitty friends like that. It takes time to find good friends but they are 100% worth it when you find a good one.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCpt.Crunch
Humanitarian


Registered: 08/09/13
Posts: 353
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: bad friends [Re: Uzziel]
    #18981034 - 10/15/13 11:52 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

My man, I have been in pretty much the exact same situation you just described.. There is nothing more humiliating than constantly having this belittling done to you..


I for one, think you are scared of the person doing this to you, other wise you would have spoke up or fought him.

This guy is CLEARLY not a friend, i think he is trying to get you to "leave" the group of friends you grew up with.

He is extremely manipulative , possibly even power hungry, The only way he will stop is if you put him in his place by calling him out on his ways, or leave the group.

Either way, you have to be strong, don't be afraid, he's human like you and me, and trust me, if it were to come down to a fight, all of that anger would explode and he would not have a good time.

Don't let your self esteem or lack of confidence stop you from acting.

Take action now or forever hold your peace..

My advice.. Take action .


p.s. If I was in your "circle of friends" I would have called him out for you, people like him are the scum of the earth, and he knows it too.  And don't even think of him as your friend for one minute more, he is NOT your friend, he does not like you. He is trying to be little you and he knows the pain he is causing you. Why is he doing it? I'm not sure, but I have met several people like this through out my life. And these are very cruel, cold hearted, manipulative, two faced, phony, people.

Like I said before you have to either put him in his place or just leave the group and never hang out/ talk to him again.  if other members in this "circle of friends" are truly your friends, they will understand..

If not, move on.. I've had to do it, you can too. I know how hard it is and how frustrating it is, but you have to save yourself at all costs.


Edited by Cpt.Crunch (10/15/13 11:57 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3]
    #18982005 - 10/15/13 04:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I agree with the others. Rid yourself of him totally and completely ASAP. People like that bring nothing but trouble.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3] * 2
    #18983770 - 10/15/13 10:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm sorry to hear you've had the misfortune of growing up with such a terrible person Dan. I think going through childhood and so forth with a manipulative person like that will definitely leave a bad imprint on the psyche, because you become so accustomed to being around that sort of shit.

When I was in High School I became friends with some scummer like that, and one day I eventually just wrote him a really long message on Facebook explaining that me and him couldn't be friends any more. I was afraid to do that initially because I didn't know how he would react to it, I was afraid he would just do everything in his power to make me feel bad. But the way I wrote it put him in a position where he pretty much didn't have any choice but to accept it for what it was, we even left on good terms.

The whole vibe of the message was like "you know man we've had some good times etc time to move on etc" like I basically told him I was "breaking up" with him. Our friendship was toxic so that's how it had to be.

I recommend doing something like that, break off with him as peacefully as possible. Or just never talk to him again in general, I dunno.

I love you Dan don't forget it, the whole Shroomery does :hug:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCrimpJiggler
Stranger

Registered: 08/28/11
Posts: 251
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: bad friends [Re: Sheekle]
    #18984728 - 10/16/13 03:13 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

This guy sounds like a piece of shit, and I bet you're not the only one who has a problem with him. Are you sure you can't work with other people who dislike him, to rid him from your circle of friends? If the majority of the group start ripping on him daily, he'll get the message and go find new "friends". If thats not an option, you could make him fear you. Make it obvious that every time he does something you don't like, he is going to suffer for it. For example, if hes the kind of person that takes over the joint, lace a joint with PCP and pass it to him. Then offer him no assistance at all in dealing with the trip, and if he gets violent, call the police on him and deny it was you that gave him the joint. Make it clear that you'd never do that to a friend, but since hes chosen not to be your friend, you don't care about him.

I think you should start doing ayahuasca, to gain a better understanding of yourself, as well as this "friend" you have a problem with.

Quote:

danlennon3 said:
I have even had to watch what I said on this forum because I KNOW at one point, he was reading my posts and telling people about it. And this is the ONLY place I have been able express myself.



Fuckin hell, make an account he doesn't know about. If hes reading this thread, then he will have an edge over you because he knows what you're thinking, and he knows the advice people here are giving you. i.e. what I said about the joint laced in PCP, if he knows thats coming, its not gonna work.

Make a new account before you make another thread like this.


--------------------
…...,~__________________, ,.
….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun
…../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank.
…..), —.(_(__) /
….// (..)),````
…//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world!
.//__/


Edited by CrimpJiggler (10/16/13 03:35 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3]
    #18984732 - 10/16/13 03:20 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Had many friends like this in my life.

Too many to count.

Nowadays I just walk away and dont let it get to me.

Many people will try to put others down, to make them feel better about themselves. Many of my friends like this would feed me drugs, get fucked up with me, and then make a mockery of me in front of other people to take the negative attention off of themselves, and then if I got upset they'd be like "hey man, I got you fucked up last night, lets do it again!". These people are no bueno. Id be hitting it off just fine with a girl or something and they'd go out of  their way to make me look bad. I even once had the girl pull me aside later and say "he really went out of his way to make you look bad".


Edited by Anonymous (10/16/13 03:26 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: bad friends [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18987124 - 10/16/13 05:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

He never did this to anyone else except me, so when I bring it up to people, they dont see it unless I tell them to pay attention to the she he says. I do not hang out with him anymore, ive seen him 2-3 times in the past few years.. but the aftermath of the things hes said and constantly pointed to people is still an issue to this day! I have lost friends recently because of something that happened almost 2 years ago!!

So basically I look like a burnout druggie lowlife to most of the people I hang out with and the people I went to school with. Many of the people from school stuck together as friends so if one person knows, everyone will eventually find out... And whenever Im around them, I always feel like I have to prove something to them- which is one of my biggest issues. Why should I care about what these people think? I dont know... But at times, like it did a couple days ago, causes me to spiral into seriously negative thought patterns. And another reason is that its hard to shake off the way people have been thinking about you for so long.

But because of this kid, even around strangers, I feel like I am being judged EVERYWHERE I go. I get these paranoid delusions and it causes me to avoid people at all costs. This past year, I spent the first 8 months in almost COMPLETE seclusion because of these irrational thoughts. So even though I do not hang out with this kid, I still have many of these confidence issues.

Luckily I am on the road to transformation. For the first time in ages, when I get these thoughts, I can catch myself before it spirals:thumbup:

I appreciate all the advice :heart:


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3] * 1
    #18988242 - 10/16/13 09:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

OP, I don't think you need a pity party.

I think you really need to watch that show OZ, and pay very close attention to the development of these two characters:



Especially the weaker one.

IMO there's only two possible exits from being that scared little kid (emotionally, regardless of age). That is, you grow up into a self-sufficient, not-giving-a-fuck adult, or you grow physically old and keep carrying that fear, that emotional reliance on others, end eventually die as a constantly scared little kid, fearing what others will say next.

Most people don't have the misfortune of growing up around such professional assholes as you have. Then again most people learn fairly early on, to actively avoid or confront such abuse. People get angry, people get in fistfights, people lose teeth over such abuse, but rarely do they tolerate it long term.

Unless they feel inside that it's deserved. That the abuser is right on some level.

Whatever issues you have with yourself, is what prevents you from calling this fucker out.

You have to ask yourself why this guy is so very much able to push your buttons, and yet why you haven't snapped even once and punch his fucking lights out, or at least try to. He would get the point and learn where your lines are. He didn't learn, because so far you've done nothing to enforce your lines.

You have to wonder why you'd value his opinion at all, or why you'd be unable to fuck with him verbally, in the same exact way he fucks with you. There's a system that explains this stuff in more detail, it's called MindOS, by this dude called Dr. Paul. Google it, it's awesome.

Your dude is clearly an asshole, that's a given, but that's also not the point here. We all meet assholes in life. Most of us don't hang out for years and call such assholes friends, if their abuse is directed at us. It's ON YOU to navigate away from shitty social circles and into supportive ones. If you're a nerd don't hang with jocks, if you're a jock don't hang with the chess team, you'll feel awkward and out of place. If you're the sucker at the table, fucking leave. Leave today, right now, don't whine because the others don't play nice. We're primates. We compete. Some of us DON'T play nice. Change the fucking gang you hang with.

So 1. Stop seeing this guy, burn ALL bridges, ask people to take sides if you must, but draw your lines in the sand and draw them clearly, for good. If people ask what's up, tell them that the years of annoyance from this guy pushed you to extreme measures, and that's the way it is now. You're not friends, you're not acquaintances, you're not even talking. It is done.

2. Fix your head and heart. Drum about it, trip about it, join a martial arts club, do whatever you must, because sooner or later you WILL meet the next asshole. That's a certainty of life. For every weak part of your character you WILL find an asshole that will push that button, and will push it daily, over and over and fucking over, as a reminder to you, that it needs fixing. Nobody fucks with you unless you have deep holes in your cheese, buttons just begging to be pushed.

May the :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2: gods be with you, be all that you can be :nyan:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineFishOilTheKid
Ascended
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 26 days, 22 hours
Re: bad friends [Re: Spacerific]
    #18988761 - 10/16/13 10:32 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

:thumbup:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: bad friends [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18989409 - 10/17/13 02:01 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Dude fuck that guy, he has low self-esteem and uses your kindness to feel better about himself.

Call him out directly next time he does it, no fear.

Get pissed or something! Don't just let him run all over you brah


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: bad friends [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18989862 - 10/17/13 08:23 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Dude fuck that guy, he has low self-esteem and uses your kindness to feel better about himself.

Call him out directly next time he does it, no fear.

Get pissed or something! Don't just let him run all over you brah



IMO that boat sailed years ago. The abuse patterns, fears and insecurity must be so ingrained by now, that they're likely to take months or years to be smoothed over and overwritten with positive relationships.

Even if OP snaps at Mr. Awesome, how much wind do you think he'll have? What else, other than laugh in his face, you think that guy will do?

I've been on both sides of that story, and in fact most of us have I think. If you've ever had that nerdy weak guy you loved to pick on, or that nerdy you you didn't pick on but really felt sorry for as he was so pathetic, you have to ask yourself how much weight did his opinion carry, in matters of importance? To me it was always laughable. Sad and laughable at the same time. That train of thought that says "you, kid, are fucking laughable. We may look the same but we're NOT the same, and your opinion is irrelevant. You can scream, whine, bitch and make all the noise you want, you'll just switch from a quiet nerd to a noisy nerd, and nothing will have changed. You're a pathetic little virgin, and will remain so for a long long time."

OP may know this train of thought quite well, because he's been on the receiving end for a while. There's nothing OP can do to change it in the mind of his "friend", short of breaking it off and constructing an awesome life for himself over the next 10 years.

If the asshole dude ends up cleaning his car, pool or working for him taking his orders, then yeah this matter will be settled. Until then it's only breaking it off that will fix it.

Oh and OP, I know it's you with the problem, because you said you let other people walk all over you as well. I suggest you google that MindOS thing, as it could change your life, or that you take some other massive, decisive action to change the way you function. There's a lot to be said about joining new teams, like martial arts for instance, shaving your head maybe, put up at least some flags for yourself, that you have stopped being a welcome mat for people to wipe their feet on.

Nobody can give you an identity. You have to find and build one for yourself or continue going through life without one. Find out where your lines are, what you will and will not take from people. This guy has been slowly pushing to find that line, and you never presented one. That's not his problem, it's yours.

Oh and if you need a catalyst, something to move things along, spring for an Aya ceremony. It works.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWithinity
Untitled
Male

Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
Re: bad friends [Re: danlennon3]
    #18990892 - 10/17/13 01:03 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I bet OP is an awesome guy and that selfish prick took advantage of his good nature.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* I did something very bad last night...
( 1 2 all )
RebelSteve33 6,271 33 08/15/03 04:54 PM
by wingnutx
* No real REAL friends..
( 1 2 all )
Fliquid 5,510 26 08/30/03 08:08 AM
by mr_kite
* i got a close friend thats into self mutilation
( 1 2 all )
spud 4,845 23 07/03/03 11:04 PM
by Acidic_Sloth
* Possibly gay friend is impossible to trip with
( 1 2 all )
Adden 5,803 20 09/09/03 06:41 PM
by JuggaJoe
* Hell & Back - Life shot to shit and I need help bad Adden 2,383 14 08/06/03 05:24 PM
by neutralizer
* ANti-depressants: Good ? Bad ? or Neutral?
( 1 2 all )
PsillyTheSeaGull 9,524 31 04/18/03 09:58 PM
by GringoLoco
* Should i ask out my friend?
( 1 2 all )
GWAR 3,990 20 03/31/03 08:12 PM
by GWAR
* Friend with Overinflated Ego silversoul7 1,884 16 06/15/03 02:14 AM
by Shroomism

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
1,666 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.024 seconds spending 0.005 seconds on 13 queries.