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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said: I rather prefer to think of delusion like most everything else, as a matter of degree. I used to think the more 'generic' one could become, the more 'invisible' or lacking in self-importance, which seems to be the essence of delusion. So, in college, I thought that if I didn't dress, or have my hair cut fashionably, for example, then I would be manifesting outwardly my disdain for the plasticity I saw everywhere around me at my college, and I'd be expressing some degree of essential human authenticity. This was delusional.
As a little kid, when I asked my dad for an army outfit, (I had in mind the nondescript olive-drab shirt, pants and cap my friend Paul had, to be 'uniform' with him), my dad bought me a General Eisenhower outfit complete with 5-star epaulettes! I just wanted to be a 'regular' army guy, ready to crawl on the ground with my Cadet bolt-action rifle and rubber bayonet. When I was no more than 18 months old (I met my friend Paul in December 1955), the first time we met, I gave him the white fireman helmet to wear (the Chief's), while I took the red one. I'm talking 18 months old here. For years after, when we'd remember that day, he thought I was giving him the honor of being 'the Chief,' but I just wanted to be a 'regular' fireman. My father wanted me to take his attitude of self-importance, practically from birth. He was a small business owner, but he always wanted to be a "wheel" as he used to say when referring to a big-shot. I always found it difficult to toot my own horn, whether with girls or with interviews from would-be employers. It is a fine line between the enlightened awareness that self-importance is a joke, and the misinterpretation by others of that awareness as poor self-esteem.
You gotta be in or else you're out.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: CosmicJoke] 1
#18987181 - 10/16/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sounded like a pretty sophisticated thought process for 18 months.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: Icelander]
#18987198 - 10/16/13 05:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Sounded like a pretty sophisticated thought process for 18 months. 
Well, I'd guess he wanted it because it was the flashy, red hat, so he stuck his friend with the bland, boring white one.... Sounds like a typical toddler motive to me...
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: CosmicJoke]
#18987269 - 10/16/13 05:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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but that's not quite what he said is it?
There could be some that age who could think it out but it would be pretty rare. Never can tell with Marko's. Look at all the shit that dude holds in his brain.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: Icelander]
#18987364 - 10/16/13 05:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: but that's not quite what he said is it?
There could be some that age who could think it out but it would be pretty rare. Never can tell with Marko's. Look at all the shit that dude holds in his brain. 
Did he speak of his thought processes occurring at that time?
" When I was no more than 18 months old (I met my friend Paul in December 1955), the first time we met, I gave him the white fireman helmet to wear (the Chief's), while I took the red one. I'm talking 18 months old here. For years after, when we'd remember that day, he thought I was giving him the honor of being 'the Chief,' but I just wanted to be a 'regular' fireman"
I think the point was that his parents were grooming him to become 'somebody special', but that's not what he found exciting and playful. He wanted the red helmet 'cuz it was fun...... the combat uniform because it was fun... he was just being a kid... I think you guys are reading into it something he never really implied.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: CosmicJoke] 1
#18987445 - 10/16/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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What I'm reading into it is that he is creating memories out of whole cloth. Nobody remembers anything from 18 months of age and they certainly don't have any brain function that can do what he said he did. I think "complete nonsense" is the proper label for his report.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#18987624 - 10/16/13 06:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: What I'm reading into it is that he is creating memories out of whole cloth. Nobody remembers anything from 18 months of age and they certainly don't have any brain function that can do what he said he did. I think "complete nonsense" is the proper label for his report.
I have a memory from earlier than that that my mother verified. I always had a memory of my mother holding me smoking a cig and I was a tiny infant of maybe less than a year. She denied it saying she quit before I was born. Later she found a picture that showed I was correct with dates on the photo.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: CosmicJoke]
#18987670 - 10/16/13 06:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said:
Quote:
Icelander said: but that's not quite what he said is it?
There could be some that age who could think it out but it would be pretty rare. Never can tell with Marko's. Look at all the shit that dude holds in his brain. 
Did he speak of his thought processes occurring at that time?
" When I was no more than 18 months old (I met my friend Paul in December 1955), the first time we met, I gave him the white fireman helmet to wear (the Chief's), while I took the red one. I'm talking 18 months old here. For years after, when we'd remember that day, he thought I was giving him the honor of being 'the Chief,' but I just wanted to be a 'regular' fireman"
I think the point was that his parents were grooming him to become 'somebody special', but that's not what he found exciting and playful. He wanted the red helmet 'cuz it was fun...... the combat uniform because it was fun... he was just being a kid... I think you guys are reading into it something he never really implied.
I didn't like the 'specialness' quality, or 'being the boss.' It was my father's dynamic. He wanted to 'be in charge' even when HE was a young man. And he was ridiculously naive. He spent a year in a body cast from the waist down that weighed like 300 lbs. (he said) from an experimental surgery when he was 10-11. He had a hip operation, later a knee operation, and he was 4F for WW II. That was just the beginning of his operations and poor health, but he thought he could be a cop when he was a young man, even though he was not a big guy, but short and chubby, and had never had a fist fight in his life. He found himself in a line with a bunch of large, tough Irish men he told me, and it must have dawned on him that bad guys were not necessarily going to listen to him just because he had a uniform and a badge (not to mention a gun). Oh, I also had a policeman's uniform with a shiny black tin gun. I don't remember asking for that one, but I do remember skipping on the sidewalk when a favorite neighbor took me shopping with her, and suddenly remembering that under my overcoat I was wearing a policeman's uniform and I stopped skipping, because cops don't skip.
Before we moved from our apartment in Jersey City, NJ when I was 18 months old, I remember a few events, but one particular experience stands out - my first experience of dissociation. My dad, the hardware store owner, gave me a promotional item - a 4" screwdriver, the handle of which was a little brown whiskey bottle with a yellow label and a small red dot, like a seal or ribbon, possibly McNaughton's whiskey (I saw one of these when I was in college). I plugged it into the non-childproofed wall outlet and got 'thumped' (if you've ever been shocked). I remember hearing the scream of a baby - me - from a disembodied kind of 'witness' consciousness. Many years later I diagrammed to floor plan of that apartment for my folks, and related to them watching shows like Death Valley Days sponsored by Boraxo products, and Rin Tin Tin. I remembered other events like my mother dropping one of my baby-food spoons down the sink drain, and allowing me to hold a rectangular bottle of red rouge, which I dropped on the tile bathroom floor and watched explode into a bright red starburst, both events while she was holding me. And my father coming home from work and making balloon animals to amuse me. They corroborated these events. They couldn't know my first remembered nightmare - screaming tulips! I was jolted into remembering that dream the first time I saw the album cover of the Eat a Peach album by the Allman Brother's Band.
Some developmentalists say that we can't have memories before 3 or 4 years of age. Stan Grof would believe me when I say that on 2 hits of Orange Sunshine insufflated, 1 up each nostril, I revivified my birth experience! Revivification is reliving with exquisite detail (both the terror-suffocation and the intense polymorphous sexuality of it). It is not mere memory! It was so psychotically removed that when I returned, I couldn't understand why I was looking at the body of a 19 year, 360 day old man, and not a new-born!
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Too much reality Had you of met me, you'd have wanted to be a or a
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: CosmicJoke]
#18989719 - 10/17/13 07:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well, a few years late I wanted to become a space-cdet. This was pre-NASA so the word astronaut had yet to be invented. I remember making a bunch of different sized snowballs which I lobbed into the side yard after a fresh snowfall to make craters and a lunar landscape to play 'space' on. I had a couple of different space helmets which today are a fortune on ebay. My dad made a set of air tanks with a coil phone cord to the helmet. Of course I had different ray guns too. I now have a little book of toy ray guns with a couple of them illustrated.Space took on a whole different dimension a dozen years later with acid. And now, the blue colored flags on my strings and poles of Tibetan prayer flags symbolizes space for my meditation.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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You'll always be a space cadet in my book.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Being a Psychologist [Re: Icelander]
#18990143 - 10/17/13 09:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: You'll always be a space cadet in my book. 
Aww, thanks. 
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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