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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Is depersonalization forever
#18972245 - 10/13/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Back in 2010 i had a really, REALLY bad case of pure O. (obsessional thoughts/OCD)
I was obsessed with my vision, i feared losing it to the point where losing it is all i thought about. I dont know what triggered this. But i cured myself by curing the fear. I dont even remember how i did that but im not scared of it anymore and it no longer is all i think about.
Well i have had depersonalization really bad since 2012. It got REALLY bad this year but i never paid it any attention because i was always high as a kite. But now im 3 weeks sober and i cant help but notice it. Its destroying my life, i cant focus on anything and feel so disconnected. everything around me looks funny and i feel seperate from my self and like im not in reality. Its all i think about anymore.
Will i be like this forever? I cant take it anymore. Someone give me a positive recover story or something. Im becoming severely depressed because this is ruining my life.
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ButteredToast
it'sfuckingbutteredtoast



Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 1,618
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx] 2
#18972277 - 10/13/13 01:59 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nope it's not permanent. Find a hobby, preferably one that's outdoors and makes you feel alive, I started mountain biking for example. Exercise (hobby and exercise can be one in the same). Eat healthy. Do what makes you happy (not drugs tho, not often at least). Make an effort to talk to people. Talking to people was a huge step for me when I was recovering from drug abuse/depersonalizaion/depression/anxiety, all kinds of problems. Just start little by little.. don't talk about weird shit. Try not to give a fuck what people think. Make sure you don't look like a burn out hippie or people won't respect you. When you find yourself again you'll realize that you're a really awesome unique person, people will recognize that and like you for it. That's my 2c PM me anytime brotha. Oh, and get a job if you don't already have one. Try to get one at a store where you're interacting with people. It really helps boost your confidence when dealing with people you don't know. Also compliment girls if you think they're cute even if you're not really interested. Don't be creepy about it though. Bitches love that
Edited by ButteredToast (10/13/13 02:01 PM)
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Doctor Sponge
He's off on a tangent



Registered: 05/03/12
Posts: 11,795
Loc: the desert
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
#18972283 - 10/13/13 02:00 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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maybe you fucked yer mind with the pounds of drugs you do...theres consequences to yer actions bro..it would be like you eating like a fatty,then wondering why yer a fat ass
at the same time im sorry yer suffering..honestly 3 weeks sober isn't that long give it some more time and exercise,stay away from drugs, drink water and get with god man
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,378
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 17 days, 16 hours
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definitely not permanent. i went through a period after taking ~5 grams of 2c-x in a couple months on top of shrooms every other day where I couldn't focus on anything real other than my girlfriend. all the rest of the time I was lost in my head thinking in circles. it went away after about 3-4 months. i basically think that taking psychedelics reverts your brain to the state it was in when you were very young and it was very plastic. when you do this a lot, the effect can be long-lasting.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.
space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.
it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,378
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 17 days, 16 hours
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
#18972325 - 10/13/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.
space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.
it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive
they didn't call themselves the grateful dead for no reason
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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
#18972347 - 10/13/13 02:19 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.
space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.
it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive
 I hope thats not the case for me
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KingKnowledge
Around



Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 2,876
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
#18972354 - 10/13/13 02:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had a depersonalization spell of a few months. However, it cleared up quite quickly. Don't fret!
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
#18972365 - 10/13/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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only time will tell.
feel like you're behind a wall of glass, that's getting foggy at a steady pace?
break the glass, or just scratch it to cloud yourself more in the process. it's a gamble. only you can do it, there is no real outside help.
talk to people, think about all of it, talk to yourself, think about all of it.
but in the end it's like i said, it's just you.
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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ButteredToast
it'sfuckingbutteredtoast



Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 1,618
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
#18972372 - 10/13/13 02:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.
space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.
it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive
That's why this is key-
Quote:
Find a hobby, preferably one that's outdoors and makes you feel alive,
Find something adrenaline inducing that you like to do. It forces yourself to feel alive again.
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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When I got baked every day I sometimes got depersonalization. I would be sitting there and all of the sudden Bam!
I was looking around thinking what the fuck is this all about? Why do people sit and stare at this weird box with pictures in it (TV)?
I got it the worst the third time I did shrooms. For hours I was talking to my friends about how weird life is. Even just hanging out with friends seemed insane to me. I was like, so you just what, go over to their house? And then you fucking talk? Why? Shit is madness!
So yea, I know that feel bro. I can totally imagine having it 24/7 would be beyond maddening.
--------------------
A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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tripp23
Kratom Freak



Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 4,030
Loc: Florida, US
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: bloodsheen]
#18972955 - 10/13/13 04:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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it only lasts as long as you concentrate on it. right now, if i thought the thought "this feels like a dream" it instantly comes on. but who cares. embrace it. "life is but a dream" anyways. if its not real then why care, their nothing to fear except fear itself and thats what your fearing. the fear of derealization. your not fearing derealization its self. and its pointless to because its harmless.
iv'e had it for years and i don't care.
once you learn to not care, your golden.
-------------------- Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!

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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: tripp23]
#18973007 - 10/13/13 04:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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i had some pretty bad depersonalization for about a week after the first time I got REALLY baked.
it did eventually go away.
(maybe i just got used to it and I'm still depersonalized?)
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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
#18973049 - 10/13/13 05:03 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: only time will tell.
feel like you're behind a wall of glass, that's getting foggy at a steady pace?
break the glass, or just scratch it to cloud yourself more in the process. it's a gamble. only you can do it, there is no real outside help.
talk to people, think about all of it, talk to yourself, think about all of it.
but in the end it's like i said, it's just you.
Yes, a glass pane in between me and reality! But i also feel disconnected from myself like my own mind isnt mine. I feel like im looking into a tv screen from outside.
The worst part is i cant smoke weed because when i get high i always get depersonalization. For me the effects of weed have always been euphoria and depersonalization. Before i knew what depersonalization was i thought that was just the way weed felt to everyone. its fun while your high but when it doesnt go away after you come down its scary
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teamkiller
ghetto drama whore



Registered: 06/06/11
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx] 2
#18973080 - 10/13/13 05:09 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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quit smoking weed nub
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tripp23
Kratom Freak



Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 4,030
Loc: Florida, US
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
#18973120 - 10/13/13 05:19 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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^^ i agree. unless you can learn to get used to it sober.. lay off or keep smoking and embrace it. its only a problem if you let it be.
-------------------- Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!

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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: tripp23]
#18973151 - 10/13/13 05:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Derealization is mine and I have cycles of it. Goes away. Honestly weed makes mine worse exercise and certain drugs make mine go away for a bit.
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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lazyfingers
grrr

Registered: 08/07/09
Posts: 3,347
Last seen: 4 years, 25 days
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Mescalean]
#18973197 - 10/13/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nicotine helps me with this feeling, but don't advocate methods either, but nicotine has helped.
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: lazyfingers]
#18973229 - 10/13/13 05:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah i wouldnt tell anyone else to do this but in my experience that mdma and shroom afterglow are nice. I dont reccomend it though
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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TheShroomingAtheis
He's gone....


Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 2,734
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Mescalean]
#18973256 - 10/13/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah I always thought the biggest part of the weed high was depersonalization and now that I don't get it even after smoking weed it feels so lame. I came to enjoy dp and it magically went away. Don't drink coffee(major trigger). First time I smoked weed i got it so badly i felt like had completely disconnected from myself and was in a dream. Got away for the last month though. Hang in there!
-------------------- You gotta face the music!
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