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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Is depersonalization forever
    #18972245 - 10/13/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Back in 2010 i had a really, REALLY bad case of pure O. (obsessional thoughts/OCD)

I was obsessed with my vision, i feared losing it to the point where losing it is all i thought about. I dont know what triggered this. But i cured myself by curing the fear. I dont even remember how i did that but im not scared of it anymore and it no longer is all i think about.

Well i have had depersonalization really bad since 2012. It got REALLY bad this year but i never paid it any attention because i was always high as a kite. But now im 3 weeks sober and i cant help but notice it. Its destroying my life, i cant focus on anything and feel so disconnected. everything around me looks funny and i feel seperate from my self and like im not in reality. Its all i think about anymore.

Will i be like this forever? I cant take it anymore. Someone give me a positive recover story or something. Im becoming severely depressed because this is ruining my life.


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OfflineButteredToast
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #18972277 - 10/13/13 01:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Nope it's not permanent. Find a hobby, preferably one that's outdoors and makes you feel alive, I started mountain biking for example. Exercise (hobby and exercise can be one in the same). Eat healthy. Do what makes you happy (not drugs tho, not often at least). Make an effort to talk to people. Talking to people was a huge step for me when I was recovering from drug abuse/depersonalizaion/depression/anxiety, all kinds of problems. Just start little by little.. don't talk about weird shit. Try not to give a fuck what people think. Make sure you don't look like a burn out hippie or people won't respect you.
When you find yourself again you'll realize that you're a really awesome unique person, people will recognize that and like you for it.
That's my 2c PM me anytime brotha.
Oh, and get a job if you don't already have one. Try to get one at a store where you're interacting with people. It really helps boost your confidence when dealing with people you don't know. Also compliment girls if you think they're cute even if you're not really interested. Don't be creepy about it though. Bitches love that


Edited by ButteredToast (10/13/13 02:01 PM)


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InvisibleDoctor Sponge
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18972283 - 10/13/13 02:00 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

maybe you fucked yer mind with the pounds of drugs you do...theres consequences to yer actions bro..it would be like you eating like a fatty,then wondering why yer a fat ass

at the same time im sorry yer suffering..honestly 3 weeks sober isn't that long give it some more time and exercise,stay away from drugs, drink water and get with god man


--------------------


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: ButteredToast]
    #18972288 - 10/13/13 02:02 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

definitely not permanent. i went through a period after taking ~5 grams of 2c-x in a couple months on top of shrooms every other day where I couldn't focus on anything real other than my girlfriend. all the rest of the time I was lost in my head thinking in circles. it went away after about 3-4 months. i basically think that taking psychedelics reverts your brain to the state it was in when you were very young and it was very plastic. when you do this a lot, the effect can be long-lasting.


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InvisibleSalomon
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #18972307 - 10/13/13 02:08 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.



space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.


it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
    #18972325 - 10/13/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.



space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.


it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive



they didn't call themselves the grateful dead for no reason


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
    #18972347 - 10/13/13 02:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.



space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.


it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive




:ooo:
I hope thats not the case for me :sad:


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OfflineKingKnowledge
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18972354 - 10/13/13 02:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I had a depersonalization spell of a few months. However, it cleared up quite quickly. Don't fret!


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InvisibleSalomon
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18972365 - 10/13/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

only time will tell.

feel like you're behind a wall of glass, that's getting foggy at a steady pace?


break the glass, or just scratch it to cloud yourself more in the process. it's a gamble. only you can do it, there is no real outside help.


talk to people, think about all of it, talk to yourself, think about all of it.


but in the end it's like i said, it's just you.


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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OfflineButteredToast
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
    #18972372 - 10/13/13 02:26 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
it's lasted me like 9 years or so... im just not all there, or here, or anywhere. you lose track of time eventually.



space case, lost in place, stare and face the lack of embrace. cause like you're probably a brain in a jar somewhere.


it's hard to say what it is really anymore, you get used to being half alive




That's why this is key-
Quote:

Find a hobby, preferably one that's outdoors and makes you feel alive,



Find something adrenaline inducing that you like to do. It forces yourself to feel alive again.


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: ButteredToast]
    #18972896 - 10/13/13 04:31 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

When I got baked every day I sometimes got depersonalization. I would be sitting there and all of the sudden Bam!

I was looking around thinking what the fuck is this all about? Why do people sit and stare at this weird box with pictures in it (TV)?

I got it the worst the third time I did shrooms. For hours I was talking to my friends about how weird life is. Even just hanging out with friends seemed insane to me. I was like, so you just what, go over to their house? And then you fucking talk? Why? Shit is madness!

So yea, I know that feel bro. I can totally imagine having it 24/7 would be beyond maddening.


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Offlinetripp23
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: bloodsheen]
    #18972955 - 10/13/13 04:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

it only lasts as long as you concentrate on it. right now, if i thought the thought "this feels like a dream" it instantly comes on. but who cares. embrace it. "life is but a dream" anyways. if its not real then why care, their nothing to fear except fear itself and thats what your fearing. the fear of derealization. your not fearing derealization its self. and its pointless to because its harmless.

iv'e had it for years and i don't care.

once you learn to not care, your golden.


--------------------
Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!



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InvisibleNWlight
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: tripp23]
    #18973007 - 10/13/13 04:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i had some pretty bad depersonalization for about a week after the first time I got REALLY baked.


it did eventually go away.


(maybe i just got used to it and I'm still depersonalized?) :shrug:


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Salomon]
    #18973049 - 10/13/13 05:03 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
only time will tell.

feel like you're behind a wall of glass, that's getting foggy at a steady pace?


break the glass, or just scratch it to cloud yourself more in the process. it's a gamble. only you can do it, there is no real outside help.


talk to people, think about all of it, talk to yourself, think about all of it.


but in the end it's like i said, it's just you.




Yes, a glass pane in between me and reality! But i also feel disconnected from myself like my own mind isnt mine. I feel like im looking into a tv screen from outside.

The worst part is i cant smoke weed because when i get high i always get depersonalization. For me the effects of weed have always been euphoria and depersonalization. Before i knew what depersonalization was i thought that was just the way weed felt to everyone. its fun while your high but when it doesnt go away after you come down its scary


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #18973080 - 10/13/13 05:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

quit smoking weed nub


--------------------


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Offlinetripp23
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
    #18973120 - 10/13/13 05:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

^^ i agree. unless you can learn to get used to it sober.. lay off or keep smoking and embrace it. its only a problem if you let it be.


--------------------
Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!



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OfflineMescalean
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: tripp23]
    #18973151 - 10/13/13 05:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Derealization is mine and I have cycles of it. Goes away. Honestly weed makes mine worse exercise and certain drugs make mine go away for a bit.


--------------------
FREE BURKE


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Offlinelazyfingers
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Mescalean]
    #18973197 - 10/13/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Nicotine helps me with this feeling, but don't advocate methods either, but nicotine has helped.


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OfflineMescalean
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: lazyfingers]
    #18973229 - 10/13/13 05:42 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah i wouldnt tell anyone else to do this but in my experience that mdma and shroom afterglow are nice. I dont reccomend it though


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FREE BURKE


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InvisibleTheShroomingAtheis
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Mescalean]
    #18973256 - 10/13/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah I always thought the biggest part of the weed high was depersonalization and now that I don't get it even after smoking weed it feels so lame. I came to enjoy dp and it magically went away. Don't drink coffee(major trigger). First time I smoked weed i got it so badly i felt like had completely disconnected from myself and was in a dream. Got away for the last month though. Hang in there!


--------------------
You gotta face the music!


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InvisibleLegend
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheShroomingAtheis]
    #18973299 - 10/13/13 05:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Sadly it is off, and on forever. Just have to find ways to cope with it when it gets too bad.

i know it sucks sometimes. but hey, it could be a lot worse.


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Legend]
    #18973331 - 10/13/13 06:11 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I think its pretty common when you're smoking, and sometimes lingers after smoking. I always feel pretty derealized when im smoking. Like nothing has any consequence whatsoever. Just maintain your weed break and see if some of the fog clears up. Good luck bud


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InvisibleGrateful Dead
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Legend]
    #18973353 - 10/13/13 06:14 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Its just a negative mindset you let yourself get into, because of what sounds like a mix of drug abuse and just life getting to you in general. The latter of the two is unavoidable and the only thing you can do is learn to cope. But drugs can really mess things up in your head if you use them wrong. Weed for me, when I would smoke daily and in large amounts, kicked me into a 2 year period of DP and depression, how I over came it was, really just two things, I went sober for a year, and just getting use to the fact that everything, is subjective, and just an exertion of your own mind.

You need to set a goal, think what you want, what you want to change, what you want more of and what you want less of and then make an active effort to do little things that you think will make those then happen/not happen, Just take baby steps, wake up and think of the things you want to do and then do them not that hard, then little by little things will unfold into what you want. Only you have the power to change things in your life, don't waste it!

I took a lot of positive steps and got out of that cycle, I feel amazing 96.8% of the time, like most people should, I would do a few things if you can.

1. Lay of the drugs
2. Pick up a hobbie
3. Spend as much time as you can active, away from TVs internet and cell phones as you can.
4. Explor yourself sober, really work on understanding why you feel the way you do.

I get a lot of positivity from eastern philosophy and the lesions I learned have really made my life better, and helped me grow as a person I feel.

In short it will go away, if you take positive steps to let it go away.


--------------------
Life begins on the other side of despair...


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OfflineGorlax
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Grateful Dead]
    #18973396 - 10/13/13 06:25 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah I used to have 20/20 vision all throughout high school. They tested us like every year. always 20/20.. Then I did a bunch of LSA from HBWR and forgot what I did ( I think stared into bright lights, or was on the computer) and my vision has never been the same.. I think it was from the dilation of pupils being huge and staring into complete brightness...

only have to wear them in class when I sit in the back.. kinda like em make me look like a skater nerd.


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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Gorlax]
    #18973788 - 10/13/13 08:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

depersonalization made me less socially anxious when going around in public situations. i trained myself to be totally aware of the moods of the people around me, and if they were negative i could send some of my personality outward through my body language or something.

drugs are fucking weird man, they sometimes take your sense of self away but then again selflessness might be a better thing for such a shit society (depends on where you live)


--------------------
:likeaboss:


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Invisiblemantirot
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18973839 - 10/13/13 08:30 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

its not*permanent, but what happens after will never be same. but after regain your ego it gets a lot better, like other people said, keep active find new things to like and surround yourself with friends


Edited by mantirot (10/13/13 10:41 PM)


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Gorlax]
    #18976596 - 10/14/13 01:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Gorlax said:
Yeah I used to have 20/20 vision all throughout high school. They tested us like every year. always 20/20.. Then I did a bunch of LSA from HBWR and forgot what I did ( I think stared into bright lights, or was on the computer) and my vision has never been the same.. I think it was from the dilation of pupils being huge and staring into complete brightness...

only have to wear them in class when I sit in the back.. kinda like em make me look like a skater nerd.



Heh, LSA fucked my vision up also. Its the only psychedelic that ever did that to me, after i used it my vision got blurry and never cleared up.

Anyway i love weed. It makes everything look funny, makes me super depersonalized and gives me intense euphoria. When i was smoking daily for about a year DP was normal and enjoyable. I always thought it would go away when i quit smoking though, and now that im 3 weeks sober its still here. The weird thing is some days i barely have it and some days I have it REALLY bad, and on days when its really bad i feel like ive had it forever (cant remember how "normal" feels), but shit its always there.


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Offlinemikeisapro
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18976769 - 10/14/13 02:01 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I do have to say....the title to your thread is awesome :thumbup:

but as for it lasting forever, no. Impossible.

It may even be gone in your lifetime.


--------------------
Life without drugs lacks substance(s).


Edited by mikeisapro (10/14/13 02:03 PM)


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: mikeisapro]
    #18978865 - 10/14/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mikeisapro said:
I do have to say....the title to your thread is awesome :thumbup:

but as for it lasting forever, no. Impossible.

It may even be gone in your lifetime.




Haha, didn't even think about it but if there was an album called "Depersonalization is Forever" I would totally buy it :lol:


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Invisiblelessismore
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: bloodsheen]
    #18978875 - 10/14/13 09:39 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I had pretty bad DP when I died on LSD (egodeath) and smoked weed after

had to quit the weed to get rid of it :-)

weed intensified it a lot, don't miss everyday smoking either

took maybe 6-8 months without drugs to feel somewhat normal again

but I liked the feeling of 'not normal' , one with everybody, no thoughts/worries, reborn :wink:

would recommend LSD to anybody... DP won't matter because the old personality was destructive, the new one isn't


Edited by lessismore (10/14/13 09:44 PM)


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18978903 - 10/14/13 09:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I don't think it's usually permenent. Have lots of good brain foods like eggs, fish, and nuts. Meditation would probably help as well as some type of physical activity that you enjoy.

Good luck dude.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Invisiblelessismore
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: nicechrisman]
    #18978924 - 10/14/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Meditation definitely helped... walk/sit in nature everyday, it helps

and stopping drug use for a good while is important it seemed, weed intensified it much, too much, had to quit it

only do drugs when your life situation supports it, when you feel on top of life...

else weed isn't pleasant .. :-)

I would recommend using the DP to your advantage, build a new personality
do what you love, know what you love,...
do everything you always wanted, but was limited by before by your fear/thoughts
be who you really are

gl :wink:


Edited by lessismore (10/14/13 09:57 PM)


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: lessismore]
    #18997513 - 10/18/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Hey guys is it normal for opiates to make me feel better? Like i still have DP on opiates but i dont give a fuck about it/doesnt bother me at all


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18997516 - 10/18/13 08:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I feel like i may get addicted to them. This escape is pure heaven


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OfflineMush4Brains
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #18997580 - 10/18/13 09:16 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

It depends on how far you are gone.  When I bought a sheet one time and consumed it over the course of a couple months, all while eating mushrooms and RC's, it lasted a couple years for me while smoking bud every day.  Then one day, I woke up, burned a fatty, and didn't notice it again.

That is, until my terrible Salvia trip during the spring that left me pretty rattled, which is still affecting me.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19006898 - 10/21/13 01:36 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Hey guys is it normal for opiates to make me feel better? Like i still have DP on opiates but i dont give a fuck about it/doesnt bother me at all




You need to stay away from drugs if you got DP...

until you feel good again IMO, can take years

taking any drug will make it 10x worse, with the possibility of destroying your life/social life
how can you interact with others if you don't know who you are yourself?

I took a 6-8 month break iirc, but even after that time it wasn't gone
took about 2 years to rebuild most of my personality


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: lessismore]
    #19006934 - 10/21/13 01:55 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

For some reason I have a feeling kratom would help with this..


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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InvisibleLegend
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #19006968 - 10/21/13 02:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
For some reason I have a feeling kratom would help with this..



it does a little bit. not as good as benzo's at least.


but in my experience the best way to deal with depersonalization, is to accept that it is a part of
your life, then forget that you even have it. you kind of have to just find out how to cope with
yourself.


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: nicechrisman]
    #19007291 - 10/21/13 06:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

nicechrisman said:
I don't think it's usually permenent. Have lots of good brain foods like eggs, fish, and nuts. Meditation would probably help as well as some type of physical activity that you enjoy.

Good luck dude.




This is what I was thinking. I know its kind of a cliche response but I think meditation would be. Immensely beneficial. The entire practice is centered around focusing on your surroundings and grounding yourself.  Which seems exactly like what they all forgot to do.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #19007439 - 10/21/13 08:08 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Mind if I ask how you all developed DP? The whole concept of it is pretty lost on me. I mean, I know the basics, but trying to imagine it or how you obtain it is hard


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19008648 - 10/21/13 01:49 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Mind if I ask how you all developed DP? The whole concept of it is pretty lost on me. I mean, I know the basics, but trying to imagine it or how you obtain it is hard



.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464099 - 01/23/14 06:44 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

Hey i hate to bump a old(ish) thread but i still have this fucking disorder. I want to shoot myself but thats the worst part. Its the feeling of LIVING that i miss so much. There is no escape to this hell. My biggest fear is that i will die having lived my life with this disorder. Fuck, this makes me want to just say fuck it and get high as i can on heroin or roxies every second of everyday. But even that wouldnt help, because getting high would just put me futher away from what i want. Normal, lucid sober reality.

I dont know what ill gain by posting it here. Its not going to go away. The worst part is the feeling of helplessness and being doomed. To see that no doctor can help me (or even understand whats wrong) and no medications will make it go away is horrible.

Im certain im becoming horrilby depressed because i just want to sleep all day. People say i look "dead" in the eyes.


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464121 - 01/23/14 06:49 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

did you quit smoking weed?


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
    #19464129 - 01/23/14 06:51 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
did you quit smoking weed?



Yes, i havent touched it in like 2 months


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464138 - 01/23/14 06:53 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

give it awhile longer.  does it come and go, or is it a steady flat constant?


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
    #19464145 - 01/23/14 06:55 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
give it awhile longer.  does it come and go, or is it a steady flat constant?



Its always there slightly. I never feel 100 percent normal. It gets super intense every now and again (like once or twice a day) but i think thats panic attacks. But i do always feel disconnected.


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OfflineRavageTheEarth
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464167 - 01/23/14 06:59 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

Things will get better. Your mind has to adjust to not being on drugs because it seems like it's been a long time since you've been clean. Also, it sounds like you have some pre-existing mental problems that you might want to see a therapist about and there is no shame in that. I see a therapist. I never had any mental problems, but I still see one so I can talk about some issues that I have. Also, attend some AA meetings. They aren't just for alcoholics. I went there being a druggie and found it to be better than NA. You will find a lot of support there.

Keep us updated on your condition. We are all here to help you get through this tough time in your life buddy. Just remember that each step further away from drugs is a step further to sanity.


--------------------
Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: RavageTheEarth]
    #19464413 - 01/23/14 07:45 PM (10 years, 7 days ago)

A certain degree is going to be due to the fact of you telling yourself you feel disconnected. I had this issue a little bit for a while. I would stare at an object and for some reason i felt like i could never truly focus on it. Like everything was just slightly out of reach. I thought it was from psyches, then i thought it was from smoking too much weed. But i realized it really didn't matter what i did in my routine, there were days where i would obsess on it and feel extremely distant, then there were days i would get distracted by something else and forget all about it and feel totally alive.

I'm willing to bet you don't even remember what it feels like to be "normal". If that's the case it's a clear sign you're over thinking it. The sooner you can just accept your current condition, the sooner you're going to forget it's a condition in the first place. But obsessing on it is what's creating it in the first place.


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InvisibleNWlight
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19465560 - 01/24/14 12:01 AM (10 years, 7 days ago)

i want to kill myself too bro, welcome to the club


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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Offline28064212
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19466845 - 01/24/14 10:08 AM (10 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:
did you quit smoking weed?



Yes, i havent touched it in like 2 months





No wonder you look dead in the eyes. :rimshot2:


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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 28064212]
    #19466891 - 01/24/14 10:19 AM (10 years, 6 days ago)

I agree with JacksonMetaller

I too have that feeling often. Even right now. Everythings intense to a certain degree and I feel disconnected. Like 4 or 5 years ago I'd be able to enjoy a beautiful day outside like today. But now it's like I can't see past my own nose and can't enjoy it. I'm still recovering from a benzo addiction though so I'm hoping a few more months and I'm back to normal...at this point I can't wait in line at a store without feeling slightly panicky...all I think about driving down the road is getting stopped by cops because I know my intense energy will make him think I'm on drugs and it'll be a big panic attack mess. I can't have a close proximity face to face onversation with someone. I'm a mess but I think slowly I'll be able to do all of these things again without overthinking them. Because I have my moments that I do, do them without overthinking them.

Anyway yeah I agree with JacksonMetaller that -thinking about it- is a HUGE part of the struggle. and the struggle is REAL. lol I just wanted to say that last sentence....but yeah man just try to keep busy at stuff I guess. This WON'T last forever, I promise you. I can almost assure you it's a kind of response from staying high all the time, and eventually your brain will regulate itself with the chemicals it used to have balanced.

Don't take it too seriously man, just live. Remember: you can dance if you want to


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 28064212]
    #19466894 - 01/24/14 10:19 AM (10 years, 6 days ago)

I don't know you but I've seen you around. You seem very intelligent and have offered some good advice to others in the past. The one thing I know that truly does help with depressed feelings is reaching out to help someone else. Volunteering your time has immense benefits. Maybe check with local hospitals or church even to point you in the right direction....maybe even try the internet.

Anyway, good luck to you....


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: NWlight]
    #20168897 - 06/22/14 03:41 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

I had dp about 2.5 years ago and it lasted about a year. My suggestion for anyone who is feeling the symptoms would be to jump on a plane to Dominica or another small Caribbean island and rent a house. Have an adventure, live there for a couple of months. Rent and food are both really, really cheap there and there is a lot to explore and see. It would keep you on you adventurer toes and also be a stress free environment. Go with a friend or relative who you have a strong relationship with. Easier said than done, I know. Who in this day and age can afford to vacation for a month or more.

I also recommend everything stated above; diet, exercise, meditation, hobbies, brain stimulation (books/online lectures.

Only once I stopped panicking about if "it was forever" did I start to recover. Worrying about how long it will last will only add to your anxiety. You need to keep yourself stimulated and in a state of constant self application. I highly recommend the trip idea. Do it with the intention of creating an experience which will last you a life time and you won't help but be able to reconnect with your self and connect yourself with your environment/ surroundings/ people which you interact with.


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20168906 - 06/22/14 03:44 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.


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InvisibleNWlight
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20168908 - 06/22/14 03:44 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
mushroom induced DP



:lolsy:

gay

sorry


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


Edited by NWlight (06/22/14 07:02 PM)


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InvisiblePeace of Mind 1
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #20169161 - 06/22/14 04:58 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
A certain degree is going to be due to the fact of you telling yourself you feel disconnected. I had this issue a little bit for a while. I would stare at an object and for some reason i felt like i could never truly focus on it. Like everything was just slightly out of reach. I thought it was from psyches, then i thought it was from smoking too much weed. But i realized it really didn't matter what i did in my routine, there were days where i would obsess on it and feel extremely distant, then there were days i would get distracted by something else and forget all about it and feel totally alive.

I'm willing to bet you don't even remember what it feels like to be "normal". If that's the case it's a clear sign you're over thinking it. The sooner you can just accept your current condition, the sooner you're going to forget it's a condition in the first place. But obsessing on it is what's creating it in the first place.



Hell yeah man.

I have spent so much time trying to find "where I went wrong". I reflect so much on my past, and I was such a different person then. I mean, night and day. I try to find all these reasons for why I am the way I am now, and yeah drugs had something to do with it, no question. However, so did time, time changes people. It is what it is. If I have to live this way then it is what it is, I've learned to accept it to some degree. I mean, I still miss the simpler times I had before my drug use, but at the same time, I am where I am now and I experienced a lot more than most "normal" people do. Granted, I'd still like to patch a lot of things up in my life, I have a lot of work to do. In fact, I have an infinite amount of work if I ever plan on being completely happy with where I put myself in life. I can definitely cope with it though, I can work with it, and someday remember all this madness as a chapter in my life. :thumbup:


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InvisibleLegend
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20169202 - 06/22/14 05:10 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.



no mushrooms take it all away for me

weed makes it worse sometimes


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: Legend]
    #20170103 - 06/22/14 07:25 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Legend said:
Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.



no mushrooms take it all away for me

weed makes it worse sometimes




I am hoping to try shrooms for the first time soon, but the last thing I want is to
Trigger another onset of dp. Do you think i'm safe?

I had smoked weed maybe 10 times prior to the instance which triggered my dp( smoking for a few days in a row at higher than normal doses). I couldn't believe that it opened up dp for a year. I remember being horrified by the thought of pot and smoking it. But recently I've smoked a few times in combo with drinking and I've been fine.

I guess my question is... Doing shrooms... am I risking a second onset? Maybe I am just very sensitive to pot... Or maybe it was the poor physical shape I was in ( skinny, junk food eating, cigarette smoking, cocacola drinking) and the pot was just a catalyst?

Also, I am very interested in comparing physical attributes with others who feel that they are/were prone to dp.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20170293 - 06/22/14 07:58 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Since I quit weed I am happy to say that most of my HPPD is gone.

Psychedelics induce it, but weed makes it so much worse. It is only beginning to lessen maybe four months after the cessation of smoking weed.

Weed would also give me exploding head syndrome and I believe it induced tinnitus. Exploding head syndrome is basically, on the edge of sleep, you hear the loudest BOOM out of nowhere. It has only ever happened when I went to sleep baked. I actually fear going to sleep high on weed for this very reason, so now I have decided to never smoke weed again.

DP can easily be cured with a high dose of stimulants. Like being ten steps ahead of each action, rather then a few behind.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #20170407 - 06/22/14 08:21 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

The only reason I stumbled across this site was because I read "foodofthegods" by Terence McKenna. I am damn near close to finishing graham hancock's "supernatural". Between these two books I have convinced myself that a little bit of experimenting with modest doses of psilocybin and possibly Dmt could have a positive effect on my life. But I don't want to cause myself anymore struggle with DP. That experience was scary as fuck and I don't think anything is worth that risk. I'm looking to open my consciousness a little bit more but I'm not willing to lose track of reality. There goes my dreams of transcendental meditation :frown:


Edited by foodofthegods44 (06/22/14 08:44 PM)


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20170423 - 06/22/14 08:26 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

My tip. Quit the weed!!!!


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20170482 - 06/22/14 08:36 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

By the sounds of it weed is at the heart of a lot of DP cases. Not worth the risk.  I was hoping that mushies couldn't cause it.

Thanks, and I will take your advice. It's just too bad because the only times I have ever really enjoyed weed was after my DP had subsided.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20170899 - 06/22/14 10:03 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Back in 2010 i had a really, REALLY bad case of pure O. (obsessional thoughts/OCD)

I was obsessed with my vision, i feared losing it to the point where losing it is all i thought about. I dont know what triggered this. But i cured myself by curing the fear. I dont even remember how i did that but im not scared of it anymore and it no longer is all i think about.

Well i have had depersonalization really bad since 2012. It got REALLY bad this year but i never paid it any attention because i was always high as a kite. But now im 3 weeks sober and i cant help but notice it. Its destroying my life, i cant focus on anything and feel so disconnected. everything around me looks funny and i feel seperate from my self and like im not in reality. Its all i think about anymore.

Will i be like this forever? I cant take it anymore. Someone give me a positive recover story or something. Im becoming severely depressed because this is ruining my life.



don't do any drugs. nothing. then, go exercise, eat right, make a couple solid friends and just breathe/relax. you'll be ok dude


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: ButteredToast] * 1
    #20170928 - 06/22/14 10:09 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ButteredToast said:
Nope it's not permanent. Find a hobby, preferably one that's outdoors and makes you feel alive, I started mountain biking for example. Exercise (hobby and exercise can be one in the same). Eat healthy. Do what makes you happy (not drugs tho, not often at least). Make an effort to talk to people. Talking to people was a huge step for me when I was recovering from drug abuse/depersonalizaion/depression/anxiety, all kinds of problems. Just start little by little.. don't talk about weird shit. Try not to give a fuck what people think. Make sure you don't look like a burn out hippie or people won't respect you.
When you find yourself again you'll realize that you're a really awesome unique person, people will recognize that and like you for it.
That's my 2c PM me anytime brotha.
Oh, and get a job if you don't already have one. Try to get one at a store where you're interacting with people. It really helps boost your confidence when dealing with people you don't know. Also compliment girls if you think they're cute even if you're not really interested. Don't be creepy about it though. Bitches love that






good post.


I don't really understand depersonalization other than a few fleeting moments of it, but I've had my fair share of depression and feeling constantly dysphoric and like I permanently ruined my brain's ability to make feel good chemicals by overduing drugs. You've only been sober for three weeks, and if you haven't tried the above advice then you really, really need to. When you find a passion for something other than drugs and something you can throw yourself into that gets you up, moving and out of the house, then I guarantee that it will help you more than anything else. It might take trial and error, and digging yourself out of a rut is not something that will just happen on it's own - for me, if I wait for my depression to pass than I know that I will waste a huge portion of my life waiting to feel better, if not my whole life..it sucks that some of us have to deal with shit like that, but it also means that you are capable of overpowering it through sheer determination. Being well adjusted and happy might not come as easily or naturally to you as it does to someone who doesn't suffer from a mood disorder, but don't ever think that it's something that is impossible or even far fetched - it's just extra baggage..some people deal with ongoing physical ailments but manage to live very active and full lives and they put obvious effort into maintaining high levels of activity, fitness, and managing whatever ailment they've got - some people need meds to maintain physical health - and it's the exact same thing with mental disorders and ailments. You're gonna have to put some effort and make some lifestyle changes to overcome it, some people do benefit from meds but they are simply tools to get you to baseline, not cures. And I'm not saying you need meds and I do agree that a lot of people are on them who don't need them, but they have a valid purpose for people who need help getting them to the point where they can physically start to help themselves through conscious effort, which is the point where you actually start to find happiness.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: pirate-blues]
    #20171422 - 06/23/14 12:27 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Weed, in my experience, is by far the worst drug for people with mental illness.

OP with DP I have a recommendation for you. A quick fix if you will.

I find a wonderful herb called kratom could really benefit you. It has an energetic and mellow side, but overall has a stimulant effect like caffeine. It really brings me in tune with my body and makes me full of life. PM me if you have any questions and need a good vendor because I don't like noobies messing around with shit they bought at the smoke shop.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineDangerZone
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #20171426 - 06/23/14 12:29 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, the shit affects you forever to some extent. NO, there isn't a way to predict how. You may normalize more or less, or you could be completely distant. Shit varies.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: DangerZone]
    #20171659 - 06/23/14 01:52 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

No it is not, I was once depersonalized and now I am not. I was depersonalized after smoking weed for the first time.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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InvisibletheRAPeutic
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: SteelPanther]
    #20171675 - 06/23/14 01:59 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

How does it feel to be DP'd for long periods? Does it hurt?


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OfflineWebster10
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: theRAPeutic]
    #20171970 - 06/23/14 05:06 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

I unknowingly did 25i 8 times within a month and a half last summer. I developed HPPD and depersonalization aftwerwards. Depersonalization persisted for ~3 months. It stopped when I started forcing myself into social situations and making friends with a lot of people. The HPPD persists still. It has been a year and a month or so since my last 25i experience (will never do again). I am a daily weed smoker. I have noticed my HPPD has diminished a bit as time passes. Are you guys saying if I quit weed for a while, my HPPD will fade faster?


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #20172178 - 06/23/14 07:20 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

theRAPeutic said:
How does it feel to be DP'd for long periods? Does it hurt?




Here's a quick description of what I felt: I have seen others say that it is like living in the 3rd person, or as if you are controlling a machine called "yourownbody" which I very much agree with.
My symptoms briefly were an instant decrease in vision, slower reaction time, feeling as if life was a dream (literally), overall just mentally inept in comparison. My vision issues (and or lack of my brains ability to process the information my eyes were sending it [this is how I like to describe it]) were making driving my car an almost scary experience. Another way I would put it is that sensory input seems to be overwhelming to your brain, you can't keep up with all the data coming in. And emphasis on the dream state, imagine yourself in a dream; that's exactly how real life feels.

Another major and immediate change which was most apparent when I was in front of the mirror looking at my self was the dissolution of myself. It felt as if I wasn't the person in the reflection, as if I was completely detached of my own face, as if I was a different and separate person. Again, the 3rd person effect.

One more brief experience I would like to share is a simple yet powerful memory from when my dp was at its prime. I was walking my dog with my girlfriend, it was early spring, somewhat cold. My shoelace became undone, so I stopped in the middle of the country road we were walking down to tie my laces. My girlfriend kept walking with my dog and were probably about 100 feet ahead of me by the time I stood back up. Now this is the profound part of my anecdote, this is the part which I will call possibly the most vivid memory I have. I returned to my feet and just stared at them as the walked further ahead. Two of the people(dog) who I loved most in the world and it was as if I was watching them walk away from me for the last time. I began to cry as a wave of emotions washed over me. With the way my vision was, especially responding to the outdoor lighting (overcast but still bright), I was processing all of this in what I can only describe as frame by frame, widely spaced with black frames as filler between visual data.


Quote:

Webster10 said:
I unknowingly did 25i 8 times within a month and a half last summer. I developed HPPD and depersonalization aftwerwards. Depersonalization persisted for ~3 months. It stopped when I started forcing myself into social situations and making friends with a lot of people. The HPPD persists still. It has been a year and a month or so since my last 25i experience (will never do again). I am a daily weed smoker. I have noticed my HPPD has diminished a bit as time passes. Are you guys saying if I quit weed for a while, my HPPD will fade faster?




HPPD doesn't sounds fun, I have a little distortion but I only really notice it when I am looking at a full landscape; across a lake, orwatching a sunset, or something along those lines.


Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
I find a wonderful herb called kratom could really benefit you. It has an energetic and mellow side, but overall has a stimulant effect like caffeine. It really brings me in tune with my body and makes me full of life. PM me if you have any questions and need a good vendor because I don't like noobies messing around with shit they bought at the smoke shop.




I'm going to look into this herb. I've taken some gingko, gotu kola, gingseng in the past. The effects were felt for sure.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20172375 - 06/23/14 09:12 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Modafinil or adrafinil might really help just based on the symptoms of depersonalization.

I smoke weed daily and dont really know what depersonalization is.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Moonshoe]
    #20182284 - 06/24/14 11:32 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Hey guys. IM still severly depersonalized.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20182296 - 06/24/14 11:36 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20182374 - 06/24/14 11:52 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky




it's not real. NO WORRIES.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20182388 - 06/24/14 11:54 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky




it's not real. NO WORRIES.




Id like to believe its not real. But it feels so fucking real. Ive been getting sleep paralysis for around four years now, occasionally. Its been awhile (8+ months) since i had it before yesterday.


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20182467 - 06/25/14 12:07 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

I've only ever had sleep paralysis once and there was a tall dark entity standing at the end of my bed. But it turned out to be my coat rack.

If I was you, I'd embrace it. You know it's not real... But it's still one crazy hell of an experience by the sounds of it.


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OfflineShroomin Capote
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20182553 - 06/25/14 12:29 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Hey guys. IM still severly depersonalized.




Hey man, I became depersonalized last year out of the blue after my weed tolerance dropped and I took a normal rip off the ol bong.  I ended up having a panic attack and still get depersonalized after smoking or eating pot, which I still do.  I took a break and started exercising more and that cleared it up pretty well.  I think meditation can make it a hell of a lot better.  If it doesn't get rid of the depersonalization for you, it will make it much easier to deal with.  Just realize its only anxiety, 100%.  I have pure o also, not as bad as your case, but, again meditation can help.  Since weed fucks me up a lot, I usually only get high now as a training exercise for meditation.  I will smoke or eat pot and when I start to feel unreal I will just observe my thoughts and feelings w/o attaching myself to the thoughts.  And once I come down, I feel amazing!

I also get sleep paralysis sometimes, but I kinda like it.  I usually just hear like a crowd of ppl talking or hella beautiful music, but last time I saw a shadow person slowly creeping towards me, but it was just my pillow.  Again, meditation can help you relax during this as well.  The more you think about depersonalization, the worse it will become.  Don't try to stop thinking about it.  Just DO shit like hiking, sports, play an instrument, jog, talk about shit with ppl, clean your place up, etc... Just do stuff that will take your mind off of depersonalization.  The more you do shit that takes your mind off it, the less you think about it, the less it affects you, the better you feel, fuck, to, the, yeah! :goodluck:


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InvisibleLegend
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #20182833 - 06/25/14 02:55 AM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Hey guys. IM still severly depersonalized.



Best thing to do is cope with it, embrace it, and let it pass. A healthy lifestyle helps keep sane too.



:hug:

i haven't had an episode in months. knock on wood.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20215383 - 07/02/14 02:57 PM (9 years, 6 months ago)

do you need an I?

don't fight it, let go

do you need to define yourself all the time?
just let go

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky




it's not real. NO WORRIES.




I had a SP 20 years ago I remember like 2mins ago, it can feel very real.
But they can only hurt you if you fear, if you don't fear they go away.

Don't try to be stronger than them, just ignore them
let your emotions be like they are, don't fear the fear

if they attack you let them attack you, dont run away, dont run towards


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Invisiblelessismore
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: lessismore]
    #20215390 - 07/02/14 03:00 PM (9 years, 6 months ago)

quitting the weed is the best tip here IMO, it gave me lots of anxiety where I previously had none

after egodeath on the psychedelics my weed trips changed... more unpleasant... had to quit
unless you like anxiety/can control anxiety easily I would quit it

weed makes depersonalization much worse, you need to recover without drugs


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22924078 - 02/19/16 05:58 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky




hey man ive had dp for 6 months and had lots of sleep paralysis too. Its gotten way better by the way how are you doing now? Any way the "demon" in one of my sleep paralysis visions kept repeating there is no light in here over and over. scary stuff I know exactly what you mean it gets better though.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22928372 - 02/20/16 10:37 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Still depersonalized. it comes in phases, but its always in the background. I'm used to it now though, I feel like I've always been this way, even though I know I haven't. I guess I've pretty much accepted it, and given in at this point and quit trying to "fight" it. It seems to get really bad at night.

I honestly find it hard to not blame drugs, even though I know how irresponsibly I used them. I started using them while my brain was still developing (like age 12-18 type shit). I guess I'm just suffering the long term damage of doing basically every fucking drug in existance while my brain was being developed. I started out on hard shit too, like opioids and benzos, not weed. And I used them a lot. Like nearly weekly, for a few years. I mean I didn't use only benzos and opioids weekly, I used everything I could get my little junkie hands on. Then I met a dude who had every type of stimulant imaginable, and thus began my 1 year long high on amphetamine :lol:. I mean really though, I was beyond addicted.

So, no success story here. I'm assuming, shit I'm willing to bet that for every waking moment for the rest of my life I'll suffer from DPD. Its just who I am now, 4 years. 4 years this fucking disorder has taken from me. I honestly wish I could go back and tell 12 year old me not touch a single drug until I've turned 18 and learned some self control. The only drug I actively use now is nicotine and I only use that because I dont have the willpower to quit.

Oh, and the sleep paralysis thing? Its a gift in disguise... I've had some amazing lucid dreams thanks to sleep paralysis.


Edited by xbloodwhipx (02/20/16 10:42 PM)


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22928976 - 02/21/16 06:47 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Ya the sleep paralysis is interesting not necessarily a bad thing, I think its good it comes and goes in phases that means its leaving.:thumbup:


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22930343 - 02/21/16 03:15 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Do you have those moments of clarity every once in awhile that seems normal for a sec or two? Also have you smoked weed or used psychedelics while you had DP just wondering hope you don't mind if I ask. I smoked weed for a while occasionally but have stopped. Im thinking of using kratom occasionally for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon man, don't give up.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22931041 - 02/21/16 06:04 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Sleep paralysis is the condition where you are primed and ready for an out of body experience.

Whenever you find yourself in sleep paralysis, visualize and intend to float up out of your body.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22931067 - 02/21/16 06:13 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Yes I plan on doing so in the future I experience it pretty frequently I guess compared to most people.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22933579 - 02/22/16 01:14 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

didn't read any of the other comments, but ya DP goes away. I had it for a year or two. STOP SMOKING WEED. Number one move that reduced it. Weed reacts badly with some

Vaping and edible don't cause it as much. Stay and healthy and patient. Eat healthy, sleep on time, and excercise. Maybe see a therapist and socialize here and there

DP fucking SUCKSSSSSS. I think ketamine and MXE also activate it. Just stay sober honestly. Kratom helped in a wierd way


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933582 - 02/22/16 01:15 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Weed sucks too.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheMovement]
    #22933591 - 02/22/16 01:19 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
Weed sucks too.



ya i got bored with it. Smoked it for 2 years straight. IDK why I just dont enjoy it. My highs got dull and boring


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933634 - 02/22/16 01:42 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I know what you mean but I smoked a little today I feel like it helps if I accept the high instead of fighting because it causes me to turn inwards.


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933641 - 02/22/16 01:44 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
Quote:

TheMovement said:
Weed sucks too.



ya i got bored with it. Smoked it for 2 years straight. IDK why I just dont enjoy it. My highs got dull and boring



Yeah the high starts to suck.  I only enjoy it at shows really :shrug:

It's just so god damn boring and lethargic.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheMovement]
    #22933693 - 02/22/16 01:55 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Ya it gets repetitive almost immature compared to psychedelics but thc and cbd are so good for you. I also have trouble resisting when I'm bored. But I know what you mean about getting boring.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach] * 1
    #22933979 - 02/22/16 03:30 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

weed at this point in time is like smokable down syndrome for like 4 hours. I just go from functional and awake to dumb in seconds


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22934003 - 02/22/16 03:37 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Ya thats basically what I feel like right now lol.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22934262 - 02/22/16 04:36 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

This kratom is helping though, some nice bali on sale however i think im done with weed for good now. unfortunately


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22934953 - 02/22/16 07:05 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

kratom is the only drug i use other than nicotine. and its very infrequently.


anyway,

Quote:

2141zach said:
Do you have those moments of clarity every once in awhile that seems normal for a sec or two? Also have you smoked weed or used psychedelics while you had DP just wondering hope you don't mind if I ask. I smoked weed for a while occasionally but have stopped. Im thinking of using kratom occasionally for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon man, don't give up.




I do have moments of clarity, but thats normally before the DP hits me really hard. Most of the time I'm inbetween normal and depersonalized. So it got a lot more mild then it used to be.

Thanks for the kind words :smile:

I've smoked a lot of weed, and weed is what gave me my first true depersonalization feelings. I smoked a 1.5 gram joint really quick after not smoking awhile back in 2012, and I still remember that high. I literally lost complete control of my actions. It wasnt laced and people normally dont believe me and call me a pussy, and say "weed cant do that", but I was literally blacked out from intense anxiety and an extreme high, and felt nonexistant. Different from ego death, it was like a really bad nightmare.

I also tripped a few times on shrooms. never really made my depersonalization worse strangely.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22934964 - 02/22/16 07:09 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
didn't read any of the other comments, but ya DP goes away. I had it for a year or two. STOP SMOKING WEED. Number one move that reduced it. Weed reacts badly with some

Vaping and edible don't cause it as much. Stay and healthy and patient. Eat healthy, sleep on time, and excercise. Maybe see a therapist and socialize here and there

DP fucking SUCKSSSSSS. I think ketamine and MXE also activate it. Just stay sober honestly. Kratom helped in a wierd way




The thing is, I almost forgot this, It was literally gone for most of 2015. Occasional panic attacks, but never a constant depersonalized feeling. Then in like august I started smoking everyday for what the fuck ever reason and smoked from like august-october. I was getting my old highs again, like how weed felt before DP (relaxed trippyness, cool headspace). Then boom, I smoke one day and slip back into DP.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22934992 - 02/22/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Thats weird cause everything from alcohol to weed feels different, you didn't have problems with shrooms though? That kinda makes sense there more stimulating.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22935068 - 02/22/16 07:40 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

meditation did wonders for my DP. But weed is enemy #1. Has your DP improved since posting this two years ago? If so how much?

Also, I just wanna say I can relate. I have had DP for years and its like a dark cartoon. Fucking sucks. You will get through it


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936429 - 02/23/16 07:33 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

2141zach said:
Thats weird cause everything from alcohol to weed feels different, you didn't have problems with shrooms though? That kinda makes sense there more stimulating.




No problems from shrooms but that was probably because I was already seriously depersonalized the first time I tripped, and had never experienced shrooms before DP so i couldnt compare it to anything


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22936641 - 02/23/16 09:19 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
meditation did wonders for my DP. But weed is enemy #1. Has your DP improved since posting this two years ago? If so how much?

Also, I just wanna say I can relate. I have had DP for years and its like a dark cartoon. Fucking sucks. You will get through it



A dark cartoon sounds like you also have derealization. I luckily only get that during anxiety attacks. I cant imagine that 24/7, its annoying asf.

People who have never had this disorder just cant understand why it sucks so bad. The sufferers of DP/DR are alone in this fight :sad:


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OfflineJustForToday
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22936643 - 02/23/16 09:20 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Kind of funny. I'm just recalling to myself. I smoked some weed once. Had a bad trip then went to a psych ward. After I got out I was in super dp mood for a whole year. I didn't use anymore that whole year. I felt better eventually. Then later on is when my lucid dreams started. But that's mainly because I was taking sedative prescription meds. Dreams felt real and I could control them. Almost like that movie inception. Fun times I remember but I also remember having nightmares too. The good the bad and the ugly..


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JustForToday]
    #22936669 - 02/23/16 09:28 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I have yet to have a lucid dream but I want one, I could probably induce sleep paralysis but I would have to take naps during the day and that would throw my sleep cycle off. I just want a way to get rid of this disorder forever so I dont have to worry about it and I can do psychs again lol. The good thing is I dont really feel alone anymore. But ya DP makes you feel absolutely alone no one can really understand the fucking hell you live in until they experience it.


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Edited by 2141zach (02/23/16 09:31 AM)


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936719 - 02/23/16 09:47 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I know this probably sucks to think about, but I personally would never use psychs again, or atleast not for a long time (5+ years) if I got over this disorder. It would suck to reinduce it. I'll personally also probably never smoke weed again, and if I do its only going to be some low THC high CBD strain I grew myself.


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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22936729 - 02/23/16 09:50 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

and if you happen to get sleep paralysis, what i used to do is imagine a rope coming out of my body and "climb out" of myself. It works great and eventually you can get out into a lucid dream with absolutely no effort.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22936733 - 02/23/16 09:52 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Ya I think your right its just so hard for me to avoid psychs including weed.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22936735 - 02/23/16 09:53 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
and if you happen to get sleep paralysis, what i used to do is imagine a rope coming out of my body and "climb out" of myself. It works great and eventually you can get out into a lucid dream with absolutely no effort.




Cool I'll try to remember this when it happens of course easier said then done. I have heard of this technique before its called astral projections right?


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936814 - 02/23/16 10:16 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

When you are in sleep paralysis you are primed for an out of body experience / astral projection.

The method he described using a rope is great. You can also imagine, visualize and intend floating up out of your body like a balloon, rolling sideways out of your body or even crawling out of your body from the bottom or the feet.

Bloodwhip- have you tried nootropics?

I think a nootropic stack like noopept + alpha Gpc choline could potentially really help dp/dr.

I would think exercise, yoga, meditation, fresh air, sunshine, and brain games like lumosity could all potentially help, as well as vegetable gardening , Caring for a pet, keeping a journal, taking up a hobby and therapy /counselling would likely help a lot.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936837 - 02/23/16 10:25 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
When you are in sleep paralysis you are primed for an out of body experience / astral projection.

The method he described using a rope is great. You can also imagine, visualize and intend floating up out of your body like a balloon, rolling sideways out of your body or even crawling out of your body from the bottom or the feet.

Bloodwhip- have you tried nootropics?

I think a nootropic stack like noopept + alpha Gpc choline could potentially really help dp/dr.

I would think exercise, yoga, meditation, fresh air, sunshine, and brain games like lumosity could all potentially help, as well as vegetable gardening , Caring for a pet, keeping a journal, taking up a hobby and therapy /counselling would likely help a lot.




I've heard of nootropics but never tried them. Certainly been interested for awhile in them though.

Quote:

2141zach said:
Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
and if you happen to get sleep paralysis, what i used to do is imagine a rope coming out of my body and "climb out" of myself. It works great and eventually you can get out into a lucid dream with absolutely no effort.




Cool I'll try to remember this when it happens of course easier said then done. I have heard of this technique before its called astral projections right?




Yeah it can be difficult but its really worth a try because it worked most of the time once i got it down.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22936856 - 02/23/16 10:31 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
When you are in sleep paralysis you are primed for an out of body experience / astral projection.

The method he described using a rope is great. You can also imagine, visualize and intend floating up out of your body like a balloon, rolling sideways out of your body or even crawling out of your body from the bottom or the feet.

Bloodwhip- have you tried nootropics?

I think a nootropic stack like noopept + alpha Gpc choline could potentially really help dp/dr.

I would think exercise, yoga, meditation, fresh air, sunshine, and brain games like lumosity could all potentially help, as well as vegetable gardening , Caring for a pet, keeping a journal, taking up a hobby and therapy /counselling would likely help a lot.




I am excited to start my garden this year think it will be helpful for me. I have potatoes growing indoor the martian style just window light growing great. Its too cold to put them out yet but in the next couple days it should be good. Also cbd oil seemed to help me if you consider it a nootropic or not idk. Mindfulness is very helpful. I started to break through one morning i was looking out the window and became mindful of something then things got worse but I think I was making progress I snapped out of it, gives me hope.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936863 - 02/23/16 10:35 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

ya a dog would def help. But healthy habits along with patience are the key


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheShroomingAtheis]
    #22936885 - 02/23/16 10:43 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

TheShroomingAtheis said:
Yeah I always thought the biggest part of the weed high was depersonalization and now that I don't get it even after smoking weed it feels so lame. I came to enjoy dp and it magically went away. Don't drink coffee(major trigger). First time I smoked weed i got it so badly i felt like had completely disconnected from myself and was in a dream. Got away for the last month though. Hang in there!




Drinking coffee makes you feel depersonalized? :confused:

Please elaborate?


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Alexestalex]
    #22936895 - 02/23/16 10:46 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Alexestalex said:
Quote:

TheShroomingAtheis said:
Yeah I always thought the biggest part of the weed high was depersonalization and now that I don't get it even after smoking weed it feels so lame. I came to enjoy dp and it magically went away. Don't drink coffee(major trigger). First time I smoked weed i got it so badly i felt like had completely disconnected from myself and was in a dream. Got away for the last month though. Hang in there!




Drinking coffee makes you feel depersonalized? :confused:

Please elaborate?




overload of caffeine can trigger anxiety in some people and anxiety makes DP feel worse.

or atleast thats my experience everytime i drink caffienated coffee.


Edited by xbloodwhipx (02/23/16 10:48 AM)


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22936919 - 02/23/16 10:53 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

A little coffee helps me.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach] * 1
    #22936933 - 02/23/16 11:00 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

coffee made my DP worse. I would stick to tea, its much milder

my opinion^


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OfflineOceanshore23Forest
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22936980 - 02/23/16 11:11 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

hey man use B complex for ocd from rite aid cvs, walgreens.  the depersonalization is similar to a schizophrenia i have called Dissociative Identity schizophrenia disorder


--------------------
Jenny, jehny, sean, taliesen, taylor
I was the Head honcho And...... i still am
Jonas is everready
matthew is a psychiatrist
Marcus is a therapist
Arthur has Appeared .....
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Gz8gmpPZTDdbWY7sNa3D5PGER3mxvp2
The drugs i use: Day: Clozaril 400mg, Zyprexa, 15mg, Seroquel 20mg, Risperdal 6mg, Invega 9mg The all in One Curved Rounded Pillar, Klonopin 1mg, Truvada The now mushroomm, Tivicay the Daydreams mushroom, Gabapentin 600mg Night: Lithium 300mg, Ativan 3mg, 5Htp, Trazodone 100mg, Hydroxyzine 2 at sleep time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWWopjG9URo&nohtml5=False


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22936981 - 02/23/16 11:12 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I guess people with DP have a strong synergy between there cannabinoid receptors and opiate receptors and coffee helps separate them. Source http://thesubjectsupposedtoknow.us/the-neuroscience-of-depersonalization/ interesting article. Obviously too much caffeine is bad and doesn't hurt to avoid it.

"Maybe it’s the endorphins. Or the dynorphin. Salvinorin A is about as depersonalizing a thing as there is, and it’s a kappa agonist. Stress, pain, the amygdala, endogenous opioids. It’s a consistent story. Except for norepinephrine.

On the one hand, reducing norepinephrine-induced hyper-arousal is part of the appeal of opiates. CB1 receptors and mu opioid receptors are found in overlapping places, and there’s a deep convergence between the effects of cannabinoids and opioids.  Interestingly, caffeine may block cannabinoid-opioid synergy:"


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Edited by 2141zach (02/23/16 11:16 AM)


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Oceanshore23Forest]
    #22936999 - 02/23/16 11:16 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Oceanshore said:
hey man use B complex for ocd from rite aid cvs, walgreens.  the depersonalization is similar to a schizophrenia i have called Dissociative Identity schizophrenia disorder




Thats kinda misleading.


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OfflineOceanshore23Forest
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22937018 - 02/23/16 11:22 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

2141zach said:
Quote:

Oceanshore said:
hey man use B complex for ocd from rite aid cvs, walgreens.  the depersonalization is similar to a schizophrenia i have called Dissociative Identity schizophrenia disorder




Thats kinda misleading.



Quote:

2141zach said:
Quote:

Oceanshore said:
hey man use B complex for ocd from rite aid cvs, walgreens.  the depersonalization is similar to a schizophrenia i have called Dissociative Identity schizophrenia disorder




Thats kinda misleading.



:crankey:  i dont know anything about it except for my self is different


--------------------
Jenny, jehny, sean, taliesen, taylor
I was the Head honcho And...... i still am
Jonas is everready
matthew is a psychiatrist
Marcus is a therapist
Arthur has Appeared .....
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Gz8gmpPZTDdbWY7sNa3D5PGER3mxvp2
The drugs i use: Day: Clozaril 400mg, Zyprexa, 15mg, Seroquel 20mg, Risperdal 6mg, Invega 9mg The all in One Curved Rounded Pillar, Klonopin 1mg, Truvada The now mushroomm, Tivicay the Daydreams mushroom, Gabapentin 600mg Night: Lithium 300mg, Ativan 3mg, 5Htp, Trazodone 100mg, Hydroxyzine 2 at sleep time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWWopjG9URo&nohtml5=False


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Oceanshore23Forest]
    #22937037 - 02/23/16 11:27 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Oceanshore said:
hey man use B complex for ocd from rite aid cvs, walgreens.  the depersonalization is similar to a schizophrenia i have called Dissociative Identity schizophrenia disorder



Thats nothing like DP man :lol:


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22937053 - 02/23/16 11:32 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Mild ocd may play a role in persisting DP though so if B complex helps it may help those with DP as well, I dont see B vitamins hurting you.


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Edited by 2141zach (02/23/16 11:32 AM)


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22937067 - 02/23/16 11:36 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Dont get me wrong its very possible you have DP alongside DID however they are not related in that if you develop DP you will develop DID so the treatment options for both are different I dont really know what DID is personally.


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