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gandalf579
Mushroom Hunter

Registered: 09/28/07
Posts: 907
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Life is a bitch and then you die!
#18970765 - 10/13/13 12:58 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I laid my mother to eternal rest (may she rest in peace) this past July 8th outside of Charleston W.Va. I lost my mind at the time. Decided to do a "walk about" to try and get my head straight. I'm somewhere in central/central west Canada, not sure exactly where I'm at, I got here in the middle of the night, some sort of bed and breakfast type of place with internet. Had to wake up the owner to get a room. (I decided to sleep in a bed verses a sleeping bag.) Now I need to express my sincerest thanks not only to the owner for giving me a very nice discount of the room rate but also to the fellow hiker who (after sharing my camp fire for a night) gave me 2 ounces of some really good dope to help with the pain of my losing my mom. So far the long walk hasn't helped me a whole lot at all.
So I thought I would express my pain here because I know there are caring and loving people here and I think it would be good for me to receive some good words from my fellow shroomerites. To me right now there seems to be very little left in this world for me. I've lost not only all of my grandparents, several of my cousins, my wife and 3 year old son and now my dear mom. I don't know if I can take loosing anymore. And now I heard my little sister might have uterine cancer, she's only 34 years old, way to young to die of cancer. Not that any age is a good age to die of cancer. How much suffering must a man endure before it's all over?
Right now I'm of two minds. Like a two sided coin, one side says to live for my teenage nephew and my 4 year old niece, whom I love very dearly, and see each of them to walk down the isle and have children of their own but run the risk of losing my baby sister to cancer and the other side says to disappear in the wilderness never to be heard from again but also to never hear of losing another loved one.
I apologize for going on like this. Just thought it would be good to get some of this out.
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gandalf579
Mushroom Hunter

Registered: 09/28/07
Posts: 907
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Re: Life is a bitch and then you die! [Re: gandalf579]
#18970805 - 10/13/13 01:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Right now I'm severely drunk and stoned. I'll check back tomorrow for any replies. I might or might not stay here for a few days, not sure if I'll stay or go my way yet. Might do me some good to be around some people for a few days. "Walk abouts" are good for the solitude but bad because in the solitude you're left alone with the thoughts in your head.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Life is a bitch and then you die! [Re: gandalf579]
#18970812 - 10/13/13 01:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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It's gonna be okay man 
I plummeted into darkness myself a few years back, but now here I am feeling great and grateful for every day. Things change, the world keeps moving.
All is going to be okay buddy
I also do agree it is good to let your thoughts out like that somewhere, and what better place than anywhere than right here on an internet forum which lets you be as anonymous as you want to be
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Soulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .



Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Life is a bitch and then you die! [Re: gandalf579]
#18970816 - 10/13/13 01:18 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey man, that sounds like a pretty harrowing path you've had to walk so far in life. you have my respect and adoration. i wish you the best and hope you take the time you need to process everything and come to terms with it.
me myself i've been down similar paths as well, i've lost alot of family members, i'm adopted and don't really have any family either. i keep to myself most of the time. to be honest i prefer it that way. but it's not easy!
The best consollation i can offer is that time heals all wounds. i've been in placed where i don't want to live anymore, didn't see a purpose to continue existing. and a few years down the track i've bounced back and am happy again.
just gotta keep on keeping on, because it's what you do!
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  R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate. [/url]
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Forgot2Breath
Heroin Bob



Registered: 07/15/13
Posts: 97
Loc: TweakCity
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Re: Life is a bitch and then you die! [Re: Soulidarity]
#18970886 - 10/13/13 02:00 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Soulidarity said:
The best consollation i can offer is that time heals all wounds
Ive learned that Time does in fact not heal, it replaces memory's until all fades, youl never be completely healed from things like these, i guess you just start/learn to accept it and move from there.
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