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Onlinekoods
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Registered: 05/26/11
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19061683 - 10/31/13 03:50 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hyperspacegowoo said:
I hadn't smoked weed 6 weeks prior so I can kick it easy. As for a therapist I believe all beings have the ability to heal themselves. This is just a learning curve and I jumped back in the hole after I got out unknowingly. It'll work itself out. As far as my life the only thing I don't enjoy about it is not having my mind on my side. Other than that it's been going great.




Quote:

Hyperspacegowoo said:
yes I was alone, but I'm active socially as well. Typically I don't have to think actively I simply flow even on my computer and what not. I hike, camp, do outdoor activities. the thoughts I can not hear anymore really. Before my concussion they were easy to hear. Now I fear they are running me and I'm unaware of them.




I think you should lay off all the drugs, and you should see a therapist. Maybe you just have an unusual way of expressing yourself, but I had a hard time following what you were talking about. What do you mean you were hearing your thoughts? Now you fear they are running you?

Are your thoughts separate from you? This is all very strange, OP.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: koods]
    #19061785 - 10/31/13 04:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

It's not so strange, the man put his head through a few things, and now stuff doesn't work quite optimally. As when you have a cold, a fever, are drunk or hung over, you're not going to flow as on your best day. I'd say it's quite normal. I'd also say it's likely to improve if OP minds his sleep, diet, gets his nice supplements (see Dr. Amen for that, I think he has several recommendations based on various factors) and so on.

Go through the good motions OP, don't worry about thoughts getting in the way, focus on sleep, nutrition, light exercise, fresh air, sun and light during the day, darkness and quiet during the night. Given some time you will recover.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Spacerific]
    #19100574 - 11/07/13 01:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Might end up seeing a therapist.
Well we are not our thoughts so I will go ahead and say they are separate.
As for my thoughts though at first I would still go about my day while my head would be going a million miles an hour and I didn't identify with these thoughts but I fought them. It's essentially like my thoughts are fighting me if that makes sense.
I can't think clearly and my thoughts think about random garbage so my perception changes often if I identify to one. I know who I am but my mind is just in the way. I know I can't think my way out of it, I know I can't go back and change a damn thing. I know I'm in a terrible thought loop and it makes me more unconscious and aware over time. The more I think the worse it deepens.

I simply don't know what to do as I try to think what I used to do and what not. Throughout my day I'm always thinking never being or flowing and it's all quite odd to me. So my natural reaction is to fight witch in turn strengthens my mind. If I just let go and stop giving a damn it would all work out. Problem is I constantly try to find the old me and cross compare instead of just being. Constantly thinking.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19100810 - 11/07/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ummm Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now?



--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Spacerific]
    #19104935 - 11/08/13 10:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Have his book. It just I can't get out of my head. You know how normally you go throughtout your day and you can do things without thinking such as shower, tie shoes, whatever. Well I'm thinking instead of just being a conscious being. just stuck in my head. I just don't know how to get out.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19104966 - 11/08/13 10:52 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

"Since then I've been completely identified with my mind, random thoughts, memories, things I don't think or believe come up in my brain constantly. I've lost my grounding and have no ability to focus or even converse as my brains running during all of this. I know focusing on it only propels it but my brains not on my side. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in about 3 weeks now. It seems the more I kick and scream the worse it gets but I don't know how to accept this state. I feel I lose. myself more and more. Feelings of no self, low awareness, memory loss, lack of focus, unconsciousness and unintelligible drain me. I now judge and let emotions rule me and sit back and despise every moment of it, I seem to psychoanalyze myself too. "

felt it all :-)

nature everyday I would recommend

houseplants,pets,gardening,walk in nature,sit in nature everyday
do what you love

then there is no need for worry or even a concept of self :-)

think about it
it used to make me fear, I had no concept of who I was, was everything I see , loved everything I saw
but how often do we really need a concept of self?

its not that often...  but it can be awkward to talk to some people you know sometimes

just experience , sooner or later it will rebuild if you want it to, can take years
took me 2 years to rebuild just some concept of self , but I still only had minor problems interacting with others
when you got no self, you can easier help others, for  you can see yourself in everyone

peace :smile: and dont worry


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: lessismore]
    #19105089 - 11/08/13 11:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I know there is no true self. the idea of it is formless and can take share in any direction you put it. I just don't have hat natural flowness to myself.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19106066 - 11/08/13 02:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hyperspacegowoo said:
Have his book. It just I can't get out of my head. You know how normally you go throughtout your day and you can do things without thinking such as shower, tie shoes, whatever. Well I'm thinking instead of just being a conscious being. just stuck in my head. I just don't know how to get out.



Ok, this one is much more literal. I hope you have 5 minutes of attention span, because it specifically says what you have to actually do, to get out of your head more:



--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Anonymous #1

Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19106818 - 11/08/13 05:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hyperspacegowoo said:
I know there is no true self. the idea of it is formless and can take share in any direction you put it. I just don't have hat natural flowness to myself.




probably because you have some monsters in your closet


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OfflineHygrocybe
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19107914 - 11/08/13 09:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Can you accept your mind in its current state? That might be part of the anxiety. Your motivation is strong, you demand a lot from yourself.


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InvisibleLittleDipster
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hygrocybe]
    #19108032 - 11/08/13 10:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

OP I'm in pretty much the same exact situation. Mine got really bad almost 2 years ago, I thought it was just a temporary phase kinda thing. It started after I went on a small stimulant binge. When it initially happened it was like I was crashing from amps for like a month. It's not so bad now, but I still haven't progressed at all in life in the past 2 years. I 'm stuck in my head repeating negative thought loops and stuck in life repeating negative cycles. A lot of these negative thoughts I had when I was really young I just never gave them much attention. Now it seems they are all that take up my attention.

Unfortunately I think in my situation drug abuse has led to an exacerbated mental illness that I have had for a while, but is just now showing its self in my late teens/20's.

Quote:

Since then I've been completely identified with my mind, random thoughts, memories, things I don't think or believe come up in my brain constantly. I've lost my grounding and have no ability to focus or even converse as my brains running during all of this. I know focusing on it only propels it but my brains not on my side. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in about 3 weeks now. It seems the more I kick and scream the worse it gets but I don't know how to accept this state. I feel I lose. myself more and more. Feelings of no self, low awareness, memory loss, lack of focus, unconsciousness and unintelligible drain me. I now judge and let emotions rule me and sit back and despise every moment of it, I seem to psychoanalyze myself too. Strange feeling of a headband and fog around my head. I know this is due to my mind running like a racehorse but it's hard for me to accept this moment. I'm hung up on the past now and am angry at myself for dropping from the top to the bottom so quickly. The brain is now the master of me and my main reason for coming here is how do I stop identifying with my mind and break free again. I'm aware that I'm in a loop and that I've manifested for myself but I just am at a loss of how to break free. I understand it's a misunderstanding of my identity.


 

I know how ya feel and I'm stuck wondering how to fully break the cycles. I get close then fall right back into them.


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: LittleDipster]
    #19108991 - 11/09/13 03:54 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I had to stop smoking weed everyday to break it :wink:

dunno if any of you do that... weed would make it much much worse

needed less thoughts... weed gave me many more thoughts

nature/meditation removed thoughts , and also trance music everyday


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19109559 - 11/09/13 08:53 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I would say I don't fully accept this state I'm fighting it and trying to go back to a previous one and try and pull some magic. I've been using my mind and playing games since I was young. I'm an advocate of being a master of your mind so having it go against me is a huge thing to me.  I try to just "be" but the problem is trying. I'm constantly trying instead of accepting and this causes it to get worse. I know what I'm doing wrong but just don't know how to open the door. I can still mediate and feel the energy of my body. I can shift my awareness still but not in the precise and focused way.
I still observe thoughts but I've noticed I have gotten worse and started attaching and repressing thoughts instead of observing and giving them no power. 

No monsters in my closet I haven't conquered. This is just a mind game I started and took a wrong turn.

I have stopped drugs, tried alcohol recently to see if it would loosen me up but no dice.

Also thank you for the video and all the helpful post, it's much appreciated.


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OfflineHygrocybe
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #19109711 - 11/09/13 09:46 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

The closed door can be a door itself. Can you find forgiveness, understanding, and kindness for yourself in this? You don't necessarily have to accept that the door is closed, there are other opportunities here for cultivating openness.


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InvisibleEndure
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: LittleDipster]
    #19110938 - 11/09/13 03:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

LittleDipster said:
OP I'm in pretty much the same exact situation. Mine got really bad almost 2 years ago, I thought it was just a temporary phase kinda thing. It started after I went on a small stimulant binge. When it initially happened it was like I was crashing from amps for like a month. It's not so bad now, but I still haven't progressed at all in life in the past 2 years. I 'm stuck in my head repeating negative thought loops and stuck in life repeating negative cycles. A lot of these negative thoughts I had when I was really young I just never gave them much attention. Now it seems they are all that take up my attention.

Unfortunately I think in my situation drug abuse has led to an exacerbated mental illness that I have had for a while, but is just now showing its self in my late teens/20's.

Quote:

Since then I've been completely identified with my mind, random thoughts, memories, things I don't think or believe come up in my brain constantly. I've lost my grounding and have no ability to focus or even converse as my brains running during all of this. I know focusing on it only propels it but my brains not on my side. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in about 3 weeks now. It seems the more I kick and scream the worse it gets but I don't know how to accept this state. I feel I lose. myself more and more. Feelings of no self, low awareness, memory loss, lack of focus, unconsciousness and unintelligible drain me. I now judge and let emotions rule me and sit back and despise every moment of it, I seem to psychoanalyze myself too. Strange feeling of a headband and fog around my head. I know this is due to my mind running like a racehorse but it's hard for me to accept this moment. I'm hung up on the past now and am angry at myself for dropping from the top to the bottom so quickly. The brain is now the master of me and my main reason for coming here is how do I stop identifying with my mind and break free again. I'm aware that I'm in a loop and that I've manifested for myself but I just am at a loss of how to break free. I understand it's a misunderstanding of my identity.


 

I know how ya feel and I'm stuck wondering how to fully break the cycles. I get close then fall right back into them.



from what ive read, you sure as hell display common symptoms of schizophrenia, ocd, adhd, GAD, and depression, bipolar ( i do too )
in a nutshell, you need better guidance in sorting through some memories, some problems, and reprocessing things.. people wait years in depression to solve these things before seeing someone for it.. dont be one of those people.


--------------------
Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hygrocybe]
    #19111606 - 11/09/13 06:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Hygrocybe said:
The closed door can be a door itself. Can you find forgiveness, understanding, and kindness for yourself in this? You don't necessarily have to accept that the door is closed, there are other opportunities here for cultivating openness.


I believe I can forgive myself and understand but it's hard to be kind with all these thoughts but why not try? I'm up to try anything.

bipolar? I don't feel im more of a blankness.


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OfflineHyperspacegowoo
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: zZZz]
    #23323143 - 06/08/16 07:09 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

zZZz said:
you don't need to know how, just be.




When i'm just "being" im in a void.

Anyways it's been quite a while since I posted this.

At first my mind was wild with a bunch of trippy stuff now it's more of a blank mind.
Everyone says to accept it or surrender to it and before this really got me in a head trip intellectualizing how to do something that requires me to stop that. haha

So even knowing this, surrender and acceptance as concepts still elude me in what they mean for this.

Anyways for good news,
I got out of my head a few times but always fell back but now i've been in for about 8 months without coming out for air. Just don't know what to do now or how I did it before.


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InvisibleHinny
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hyperspacegowoo]
    #23326067 - 06/09/16 02:24 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I'm glad this got a bump. I don't know how to articulate myself at the minute about this, but I am relating to it.


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InvisibleHinny
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hinny]
    #23326153 - 06/09/16 02:54 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Oh and wicked to the member who posted Eyedea!!!!

A friend turned me onto him when I was massively fucked up years ago, now I'm sat listening to "The many faces of Oliver Hart".

:aum::flowers:


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OfflineTrippedytrip
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Hinny]
    #23335218 - 06/12/16 06:15 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Dear Shroomery Forumers ,
I would be very thankfull if you read .

So here's my story ,
I moved to another Country to start my apprenticeship as i was 17 .
I had there the chance to meet new people and start in a really good Hotellerie company. The first year of working i was really entuthiastic and hat a lot of fun working and met a bunch of new people who gave me a new. impression world as i before lived in another country ( Spain) .

I met there people with who i then started smoking ganja regularly, every day when we had time after work etc.
I also got in the Trance/psychedelic scene and went a lot to raves and partying.
After 1,5 years of working i have gotten more and more into shit and really started creating a new carachter of myself. but i wasnt really aware . I was heading more into a spiritual path. I had before always been an extroverted boy and have  very good school friends .

There somehow drugs have led with all the other such as stressfull/monotone and unorganized life to a more and more tunnel vision if anyone gets that.

I have also tried then Shrooms(3)when i was ready and some MDMA(1)and some times Ecstasy(5) . I had then come to a point where i couldnt control the mind anymore.

I was going working , then smoking a bowl and trying to relax after a stressy day in the hotel. I woken up once and since that day i saw everything in 3rd person.

As if i was behind me controlling myself.I was basically  aware of everything on my surroundings
. At that time i didnt do much Herb and neither other drugs. I  did felt rare but i didnt panic and kept on with my daily life basis.

After 3,4 months nearly in that state i had lost totally the North vision and opened my eyes for very first time looking how i had messed up myself physically and mentally due to depression followed by anxiety and psychosis where i couldnt get out of my head.

.I have now gotten an medical break about for 2 months from my doctor . I am home now  with family and i have figured it all out but the consequences are devastating.
I didnt have my feet on the ground anymore i had been on such a long mental journey that i have basically lost my head.It is like i have consumed all of my memories because many times i was thinking of the past when smoking.

. I still can speak my 5 languages and live normal but i have lost my short-term memory/photographic memory and my head has dramatically shrinked , the hippocampus and the frontal cortex aswell.

Me perceiving life is now completely different but i asume in what i have been into and tryng to take a turn. I have my family , friends and my phsycologist who helps me. I am neither taking anti-psychotics and i wont take them.

Doing lot of sport and meditation and pumping nice Goa/Psytrance tunes .  I am now feeling better but i regret that i have harmed so much myself . It is my first ever breakdown/depression and i am gaining time by time my autoestime again. I have misunderstood a lot about how Marihuana works and underevaluated it .

I have learned from it , it also has teached me wich way i should lead really in life and how.
I am thankfull that for but its still very complicated to restart.
Has anyone had such a nervous breakdown ?
Do you have any tips for a better recovery?
My father has a bad social mental ilness does it have anything to do with it ?, i had never had much contact to him because he and my mother broke 10 years ago.
If i smoke again when im recovered can it get to the same point or worse?


Life  is about learning lessons and teaching yourself
I would be happy if someone answers.
Thanks guys peace out


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