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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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I think the concussion happened to get me out honestly. Now being in this predicament after one throws me for a loop. hard to remember period and my mind is even more frantic. More unconscious and farther from me than ever.
I feel I got on the path just to jump back off.
Edited by Hyperspacegowoo (10/28/13 12:41 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Hyperspacegowoo said: I have wonderful news and horrible news.
I recently had a concussion and got my grounding back with myself and body and reestablished flow. I was able to just be and relax. Now I decided to smoke stupidly and then I started digging in my brain and brought up the past. This brought it on worse than ever. I feel the concussion happened for a reason and now I went against the flow once more... I've developed a self hatred for doing so. My thoughts are now even about dumber things and are angry at that. Very hard to hear though and I know my reality is being shifted by them.
Anyways out of it all I know this is just a learning experience, I know I can get out of it as I did without even realizing it, and most of all I know I just need to accept and stop resisting to move forward. Curious if I have to have another hospital visit or how I will be brought back this time. 
delete dealer numbers from your phone, try to catch yourself when your 'thinking' and just stop and just do something that requires attention, like mowing the lawn, shaving your ballsack... lol also, remember goals in life. half the time your goal is to smoke weed. you need to commit to another goal and remember this goal when you feel impulsive, don't just try to sleep, only sleep at night or a little nap if its really needed.
all in all i would delete dealers numbers in your phone, and if you have the willpower, just fuckin delete all your friends numbers who smoke, friends come n go anyways boy and your obviously not satisfied right now with your life, turn your phone off/let it die for a few days/ give it to a friend/sister/brother/family member if you cant stop looking at it or turnin it on, come back when you feel more in control, which honestly could be a week or two, but its better than nothing and it will jumpstart the process.
im on day 1 of trying to quit weed again. it seems like i have two personalities, one that is entirely for it 1/4 of the time, and one that is entirely against it, there always clashing, the 1/4 of the time guy is potent so this is what i come up with to battle him.
'phone off' 'dont act on impulses, just make myself wait a few minutes to come to my senses' 'be around people who dont smoke' 'be around people who want to help you quit and instead of handin you bud' 'remind yourself you miss being sober' 'tell yourself its not on the menu as soon as you wake up' 'lastly, get the fuck off the computer'
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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My main concern now is pre concussion i could watch all my thoughts but now it's much harder. I'm not worried about smoking again. Not now.
My problem isn't with people, I am my own worst enemy. I'm just in thought constantly. When I did get out of this I didn't get on my computer for 10 days. I just moved back home and hung out with my friend for 10 days and finally got out. His opinion on it as far as smoking goes as it's mental and i need to just jump out of the hole.
Now I feel more clouded than before and that I can't watch my thoughts so I'm attached to them and I'm acting on things I do not agree with? I hope this makes sense.
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Anonymous #1
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end the weed habbit entirely, then go see a therapist.
anyone who tells you weed isn't the problem is retarded, it might not be the underlying problem, but its contributing and intensifying the problem.
-my 10th sense.
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19046344 - 10/28/13 02:27 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I hadn't smoked weed 6 weeks prior so I can kick it easy. As for a therapist I believe all beings have the ability to heal themselves. This is just a learning curve and I jumped back in the hole after I got out unknowingly. It'll work itself out. As far as my life the only thing I don't enjoy about it is not having my mind on my side. Other than that it's been going great.
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Dude what were you DOING when you weren't thinking so much?
Were you alone indoors? Were you specifically going through different activities? Reading books instead of computer screens?
List locations, people, activities. You can't change thoughts by sheer fucking willpower alone. Thoughts are to a great extent dependent on habits and context. Habits you can't change right away, but context you can. Place yourself in places and company that worked well for ya. Context helps or drags you down. Don't struggle with thoughts in your head directly, this way you cannot win. Navigate the external world a little better, that will help change and regulate your thoughts.
Also, especially since you had a concussion, absolutely learn and check out videos from this guy right here:
Dr. Amen. Leading doc on brain health, specifically focused on brain injuries and drug abuse. Get well soon
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Spacerific]
#19046857 - 10/28/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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yes I was alone, but I'm active socially as well. Typically I don't have to think actively I simply flow even on my computer and what not. I hike, camp, do outdoor activities. the thoughts I can not hear anymore really. Before my concussion they were easy to hear. Now I fear they are running me and I'm unaware of them.
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Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
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Quote:
Hyperspacegowoo said: yes I was alone, but I'm active socially as well. Typically I don't have to think actively I simply flow even on my computer and what not. I hike, camp, do outdoor activities. the thoughts I can not hear anymore really. Before my concussion they were easy to hear. Now I fear they are running me and I'm unaware of them.
id just like to point out, you might think therapist are only for crazy people, but there not at all. all sorts and types of people seek therapy, even for small shit. they can help you re-organize and re-process these thoughts, eliminate the bulshit/sort through it. even if you think its simple, it might not be, even if think you think your in a super deep hole, you might not be as deep as you think. they can be your literal 'path'. its up to you i guess, but..again, the fact that your fearing your own actions and dont trust them as your own/(copyandpastesaidsymptomshere), sounds irrational. and like you could use some guidance from a trained professional, goodluck.
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
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Specimen
Smile



Registered: 10/22/13
Posts: 51
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Endure]
#19047101 - 10/28/13 04:49 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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If your thoughts are really that much of a burden; tell yourself to shutup every time you have a thought that you dont appreciate. If you have a thought you dont understand, figure it out then push it off to the side.
Go meditate; 100% success rate.
-------------------- I wrap words.
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Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Specimen]
#19047749 - 10/28/13 06:17 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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i make a 'chest' inside my mind to store shit, and turn the bulshit into water vapor and let it flow in and then i close it..
the more i use it the more effective it is.
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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It's just harder for me to hear my thoughts which could be due to my concussion. I know they're there and I am aware of some of them but i'm attaching to them without being aware I guess is how I would put it
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Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Gorlax]
#19048587 - 10/28/13 08:18 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have struggled with anxiety and depression, and feeling completely shit, all because I will not turn this brain off or use it properly, I just abuse the ability to think.
We need to just take it easy. Nothing is pressuring us to do anything, at the end of the day it's just us.
Very easy to live in your head, the way out is to just get a grip and take control of your brain, stop thinking those repetitive thoughts... get a grip... that's all someone outside yourself can say.
And when you're out of it you'll see how simple and obvious and trivial it all was. You'll see why no one but you, not even medication, could help you.
I mean of course there is something wrong but it is just you doing it. You need to take a step aside from what you think is happening in your life, in the world, anywhere, all your opinions and ideas, and say, hey, I can't prove or disprove this stuff but I sure can let some other ideas through if I just slow down.
When you stop your thought process the mind will apprehend reality properly and you'll see how your ideas have nothing to do with anything.
Then you will be extremely relieved as you do what you used to do so anxiously, so simply and calmly now and there's even a future for you now.
tl;dr: Relllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxx....
(I love these 3 hr relaxation music items on youtube, check them out, play them while you do what you usually do)
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: circastes]
#19048595 - 10/28/13 08:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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PS. blame psychoactives for setting you off, it's not your fault.
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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I can't blame anything for setting me off. I chose to play with my head and started trying to go back in the past so I'll take the blame regardless. Anxiety is new to me. switching from no thoughts to over thought is quite a rough change. It's hard to just be right now. Pre concussion i was more introverted but now I worry about dumber things and my thoughts seems stupider, cloudier, and more immature. It's been a strange switch.
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Specimen
Smile



Registered: 10/22/13
Posts: 51
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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You sound like your overthinking a lot... Like I said, meditate.
-------------------- I wrap words.
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Hyperspacegowoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 26
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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I can't stop my thoughts... thats the problem they're not in my control
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Hyperspacegowoo said: I can't stop my thoughts... thats the problem they're not in my control
No but you can control your eyes (close them) and your body (sit down) and then start focusing on - the breath, in a specific place (nose, throat, abdomen) - your heartbeat - the guided meditation audio that you got for testing
10-15 minutes in your thoughts will be VERY different.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: Spacerific]
#19056082 - 10/30/13 03:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey dude are those your eyes in the sig? You look like some divine being... I notice on mushrooms I look like one too. *high fives*
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: Depersonalization from anxiety [Re: circastes]
#19056727 - 10/30/13 09:43 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: Hey dude are those your eyes in the sig? You look like some divine being... I notice on mushrooms I look like one too. *high fives*
Yeah they're mine, shr00ming in the Netherlands, probably with some MAOI as well that time around. The shroom dilates the pupils, opens the mind
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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