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Shroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming




Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
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Why don't we eat grass
#18952453 - 10/08/13 11:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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If deers can live off grass and get so big and strong and healthy and muscular and bulky and pretty and fast, why the fuck don't we eat grass? It's everywhere. Nobody should ever be hungry.
-------------------- * Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
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leon trout
Estimated Prophet



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silly deers... plants are for smoking...
-------------------- “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” ~ St. Jerome of Marin
the bus come by & i got on, that's when it all began
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Murph

Registered: 04/06/13
Posts: 1,678
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Are you suggesting we should have homeless people and starving children grazing like cattle in our front lawns?
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Shroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming




Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Murph]
#18952467 - 10/08/13 11:57 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murph said: Are you suggesting we have homeless people and starving children graze like cattle in our front lawns?
Not just the homeless and starving children, but everyone.
-------------------- * Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
    This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible Be happy Be nice (<3);}
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Uzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
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Yes, all animals have the same stomachs!
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Shroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming




Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Uzziel] 1
#18952475 - 10/08/13 11:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Uzziel said: Yes, all animals have the same stomachs! 
If we start now, we can evolve for the future world. Free food for everyone, everywhere.
-------------------- * Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
    This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible Be happy Be nice (<3);}
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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Good question Shroomapotamos.
Because we are stupid.
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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Quote:
Shroomopotamus said:
Quote:
Uzziel said: Yes, all animals have the same stomachs! 
If we start now, we can evolve for the future world. Free food for everyone, everywhere.
I'm down to start eating grass. I'll get a nice plateful for breakfast tomorrow.
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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Shroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming




Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
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If we start by adding a little to each meal and over time adding more and more, it would be easier on our digestive systems and eventually could lead to the end of world hunger.
-------------------- * Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
    This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible Be happy Be nice (<3);}
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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I'm serious that you are right man.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
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our bodies require more nutrients for the vast amount of other functions we need to do like driving cars, building houses, and jacking off.
deers cant do any of that shit, all they need to do is run away from predators and find more grass to eat.
if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
#18952525 - 10/09/13 12:18 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Envix said: our bodies require more nutrients for the vast amount of other functions we need to do like driving cars, building houses, and jacking off.
deers cant do any of that shit, all they need to do is run away from predators and find more grass to eat.
if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably
We could eat a lot of grass.
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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pcplease
Salame

Registered: 09/02/11
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
#18952529 - 10/09/13 12:19 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Exactly.
Herbivores have to eat way more frequently, and so much more often. Our brains require a million times more nutrients than any other creature. The closest thing you could look at for example of what we need to eat are other primates. And we're a little ahead of other primates.
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: pcplease]
#18952538 - 10/09/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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We're ahead of primates in what way?
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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pcplease
Salame

Registered: 09/02/11
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We figured out how to poop directly on others rather than flinging it.
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: pcplease]
#18952544 - 10/09/13 12:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!
We kill more life than other primates do.
Is killing life evolution?
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra



Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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We aren't eating grass?
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: The Phleg]
#18952564 - 10/09/13 12:41 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Kids don't even like broccoli
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: The Phleg]
#18952567 - 10/09/13 12:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I eat grass out of out microwave sometimes.
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stanski
Stranger
Registered: 07/14/11
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We do eat the seeds of grass already, they are just genetically selected versions of their wild ancestors (wheat, rice, oats, etc.). If you let grass go to seed and grinded up the seeds, you would have a sort of flour, and people out there do eat this (mostly people into extreme self-sufficiency stuff).
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MystiqueMushroom

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 4,737
Loc: PNW
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Can you eat too much grass?
What's a good starter dose?
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RiderOnTheStorm
Reject thug culture



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 1,855
Loc: Hug a hippie today
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Quote:
lifeiswhatyoumake said: Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!
We kill more life than other primates do.
Is killing life evolution?
We are the dominant primate because we killed the others that learned to walk and talk, so yes in a way it is evolution. We're better than our great ape relatives at everything, including murder and warfare.
If we were nice and peaceful some other group of apes would have us locked in cages wearing makeup and electrodes.
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koods
Ribbit



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we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.
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Fire is Born
wanderer



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
#18952636 - 10/09/13 01:45 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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We would have to graze all day.
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sukhavati12
Level 50 Mushroom Shaman



Registered: 07/03/13
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abltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut




Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
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Poor people in North Korea eat grass at least that's what the YouTube video says. Swear to god.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
#18953064 - 10/09/13 07:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.
Solution? Steal their microbes.
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VivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland
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We eat lettuce and that's close enough.
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Quote:
lifeiswhatyoumake said: Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!
We kill more life than other primates do.
So? They just suck at it. We are better at it, we are more evolved.
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Magenta
I care!!



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
#18953158 - 10/09/13 07:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Envix said: if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably
Screw that; if we're going to modify our genes, instead of modifying them 'to only require chlorophyll', why don't we modify our genes so we contain chlorophyll... Sure we'll all be green, but then i guess we could survive with only sunlight.
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hidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Magenta]
#18953170 - 10/09/13 07:56 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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but i thought deers nimble a little of everything?
even Aminita Phalloides!!!
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Not Responding
Busted Liar...


Registered: 09/17/13
Posts: 6,755
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i dont know about yous guys, but dog pissy grass does not sound too appetizing...
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Magenta]
#18953618 - 10/09/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
knightron said:
Quote:
Envix said: if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably
Screw that; if we're going to modify our genes, instead of modifying them 'to only require chlorophyll', why don't we modify our genes so we contain chlorophyll... Sure we'll all be green, but then i guess we could survive with only sunlight.
that's what i'm wondering about. if we were all made of chlorophyll, and only required sunlight, would we still be able to do the things we do? or would we just be inanimate creatures and move according to the direction of the sunlight (same as plants)
would we still be able to operate our bodies in the mechanical/motorized fashion we do now? would we still be able to think like a human, live like a human, and be like a human, if we modified our genes to require a different source of sustenance?
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
#18953626 - 10/09/13 10:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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we might become dryads, elf like beings. probably lose the use for technology and transfer over to entirely living in/around plants.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: g00ru]
#18953832 - 10/09/13 11:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I used to eat grass when I was little sometimes, it tasted really gross though and my parents told me to stop eating it. Tastes kinda bitter or something if I remember.
I also went through a phase of licking everything when I was young. I would lick walls, peoples pants, peoples hands, etc. That was because I thought it was funny though rather than out of curiosity.
This is a good idea though assuming that grass has any sorts of nutrients to keep people alive, if somebody is starving to death than it's only logical to eat something and if grass can provide people with nourishment than the fact people don't eat it is questionable
Teamkiller once had the idea of taking videos of us eating platefuls of grass and uploading it to the Shroomery for the lulz, I wish I'd done that
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
Edited by Sheekle (10/09/13 11:47 AM)
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
#18953837 - 10/09/13 11:23 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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We don't eat grass because a steak tastes way better.
And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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thedream
The Most High


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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: g00ru]
#18953845 - 10/09/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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There are several reasons why this is not possible.
Humans would not be able process the amount of grass necessary to fuel normal metabolism. We'd be eating and shitting all day and still wouldn't be able to extract enough nutrients to maintain and grow.
Grass does not have enough protein in it nor does it have all the essential amino acids humans needs because they cannot be synthesized by the body. This is the reason why vegetarians need to supplement their diets with protein supplements or by adding nuts and beans into their diet.
Humans do not have the necessary enzymes like cellulase to sufficiently break down large amount of plant matter.
Our stomachs are not physiologically capable of processing large amounts of vegetation. For example cows have four stomachs in order to process such large amount of vegetation.
Humans have evolved to eat the most nutrient dense foods like meat, eggs, andfruits and vegetables are needed in smaller quantities for vitamins and minerals compared with the macromolecules like protein, carbs, and fats that are needed in higher amounts to fuel metabolism.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: badchad]
#18953849 - 10/09/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
badchad said: And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.
There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.
But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
#18953904 - 10/09/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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when i was a little kid my friends and i would eat clovers straight from the ground. they tasted interesting i remember. dont think i would do it now because im afraid of germs
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
#18953970 - 10/09/13 11:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Envix said: when i was a little kid my friends and i would eat clovers straight from the ground. they tasted interesting i remember. dont think i would do it now because im afraid of germs
i watched a kid eat a bunch of clovers after school one time lol
it turned into a green paste and he obviously didn't want to eat em all the way but he did because a few kids were watching haha
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Gumby
Fishnologist


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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
#18953980 - 10/09/13 11:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.
Finally someone that provides the right answer.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,049
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
#18954060 - 10/09/13 12:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said:
Quote:
badchad said: And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.
There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.
But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe
I don't think it would be a legitimate option. You would still starve to death, if you didn't get a bowel obstruction first.
That's not to say that grasses aren't the most important source of food for humans - we just don't eat the leafy parts. Wheat, corn, oats, rye, rice, sugar cane and bamboo are all types of grass.
--------------------
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Uzziel
O_o


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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
#18954087 - 10/09/13 12:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said:
Quote:
badchad said: And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.
There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.
But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe
This is why you don't drop out of school for all the kids out there on shroomery. You'll end up being like sheekle who seems to think you can eat grass as a last resort....
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