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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Why don't we eat grass
    #18952453 - 10/08/13 11:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

If deers can live off grass and get so big and strong and healthy and muscular and bulky and pretty and fast, why the fuck don't we eat grass?
It's everywhere.
Nobody should ever be hungry.


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Offlineleon trout
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952461 - 10/08/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

silly deers... plants are for smoking...


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I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” 
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InvisibleMurph

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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952463 - 10/08/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Are you suggesting we should have homeless people and starving children grazing like cattle in our front lawns?


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Murph]
    #18952467 - 10/08/13 11:57 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Murph said:
Are you suggesting we have homeless people and starving children graze like cattle in our front lawns?



Not just the homeless and starving children, but everyone.


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*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
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If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
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OfflineUzziel
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus] * 1
    #18952469 - 10/08/13 11:57 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yes, all animals have the same stomachs! :ifyoucanawe:


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Uzziel] * 1
    #18952475 - 10/08/13 11:59 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Uzziel said:
Yes, all animals have the same stomachs! :ifyoucanawe:



If we start now, we can evolve for the future world.
Free food for everyone, everywhere.


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*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
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This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952487 - 10/09/13 12:03 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Good question Shroomapotamos.

Because we are stupid.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952490 - 10/09/13 12:04 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomopotamus said:
Quote:

Uzziel said:
Yes, all animals have the same stomachs! :ifyoucanawe:



If we start now, we can evolve for the future world.
Free food for everyone, everywhere.




I'm down to start eating grass.
I'll get a nice plateful for breakfast tomorrow.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #18952495 - 10/09/13 12:05 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

If we start by adding a little to each meal and over time adding more and more, it would be easier on our digestive systems and eventually could lead to the end of world hunger.


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*
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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952510 - 10/09/13 12:10 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I'm serious that you are right man.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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OfflineEnvix
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus] * 1
    #18952512 - 10/09/13 12:10 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

our bodies require more nutrients for the vast amount of other functions we need to do like driving cars, building houses, and jacking off.

deers cant do any of that shit, all they need to do is run away from predators and find more grass to eat.

if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably


--------------------
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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
    #18952525 - 10/09/13 12:18 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Envix said:
our bodies require more nutrients for the vast amount of other functions we need to do like driving cars, building houses, and jacking off.

deers cant do any of that shit, all they need to do is run away from predators and find more grass to eat.

if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably




We could eat a lot of grass.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Offlinepcplease
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
    #18952529 - 10/09/13 12:19 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Exactly.

Herbivores have to eat way more frequently, and so much more often. Our brains require a million times more nutrients than any other creature. The closest thing you could look at for example of what we need to eat are other primates.
And we're a little ahead of other primates.


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: pcplease]
    #18952538 - 10/09/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We're ahead of primates in what way?


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Offlinepcplease
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] * 1
    #18952540 - 10/09/13 12:27 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We figured out how to poop directly on others rather than flinging it.


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: pcplease]
    #18952544 - 10/09/13 12:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!

We kill more life than other primates do.

Is killing life evolution?


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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InvisibleThe Phleg
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18952558 - 10/09/13 12:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We aren't eating grass? :pokerawe:


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: The Phleg]
    #18952564 - 10/09/13 12:41 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Kids don't even like broccoli :tongue:


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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: The Phleg]
    #18952567 - 10/09/13 12:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I eat grass out of out microwave sometimes.


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Offlinestanski
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #18952576 - 10/09/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We do eat the seeds of grass already, they are just genetically selected versions of their wild ancestors (wheat, rice, oats, etc.). If you let grass go to seed and grinded up the seeds, you would have a sort of flour, and people out there do eat this (mostly people into extreme self-sufficiency stuff).


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom

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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #18952578 - 10/09/13 12:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Can you eat too much grass?

What's a good starter dose?


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InvisibleRiderOnTheStorm
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] * 1
    #18952589 - 10/09/13 12:54 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

lifeiswhatyoumake said:
Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!

We kill more life than other primates do.

Is killing life evolution?




We are the dominant primate because we killed the others that learned to walk and talk, so yes in a way it is evolution. We're better than our great ape relatives at everything, including murder and warfare.

If we were nice and peaceful some other group of apes would have us locked in cages wearing makeup and electrodes.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: RiderOnTheStorm]
    #18952618 - 10/09/13 01:16 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.


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OfflineFire is Born
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
    #18952636 - 10/09/13 01:45 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We would have to graze all day.


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Offlinesukhavati12
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Fire is Born] * 1
    #18952648 - 10/09/13 01:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)



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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: sukhavati12]
    #18952651 - 10/09/13 01:56 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Poor people in North Korea eat grass
at least that's what the YouTube video says.
Swear to god.


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
    #18953064 - 10/09/13 07:07 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.




Solution? Steal their microbes.


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18953070 - 10/09/13 07:09 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We eat lettuce and that's close enough.


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InvisibleEverlong
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #18953078 - 10/09/13 07:12 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

lifeiswhatyoumake said:
Valid point, but I think we aren't farther ahead than primates, heck, I'll argue we're behind primates!

We kill more life than other primates do.





So? They just suck at it. We are better at it, we are more evolved.


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OfflineMagenta
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
    #18953158 - 10/09/13 07:47 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Envix said:
if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably




Screw that; if we're going to modify our genes, instead of modifying them 'to only require chlorophyll', why don't we modify our genes so we contain chlorophyll...
Sure we'll all be green, but then i guess we could survive with only sunlight.


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Offlinehidenseek1
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Magenta]
    #18953170 - 10/09/13 07:56 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

but i thought deers nimble a little of everything?

even Aminita Phalloides!!!


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InvisibleNot Responding
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18953179 - 10/09/13 08:01 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i dont know about yous guys, but dog pissy grass does not sound too appetizing...


--------------------

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OfflineEnvix
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Magenta]
    #18953618 - 10/09/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

knightron said:
Quote:

Envix said:
if we could modify our genetics to only require chlorophyll then i guess we could survive with only grass, but our functions may also be limited to only eating grass and picking our nose. maybe we could still jack off too, but not much else probably




Screw that; if we're going to modify our genes, instead of modifying them 'to only require chlorophyll', why don't we modify our genes so we contain chlorophyll...
Sure we'll all be green, but then i guess we could survive with only sunlight.



that's what i'm wondering about. if we were all made of chlorophyll, and only required sunlight, would we still be able to do the things we do? or would we just be inanimate creatures and move according to the direction of the sunlight (same as plants)

would we still be able to operate our bodies in the mechanical/motorized fashion we do now? would we still be able to think like a human, live like a human, and be like a human, if we modified our genes to require a different source of sustenance?


--------------------
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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
    #18953626 - 10/09/13 10:30 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

we might become dryads, elf like beings. probably lose the use for technology and transfer over to entirely living in/around plants.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: g00ru]
    #18953832 - 10/09/13 11:22 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I used to eat grass when I was little sometimes, it tasted really gross though and my parents told me to stop eating it. Tastes kinda bitter or something if I remember.

I also went through a phase of licking everything when I was young. I would lick walls, peoples pants, peoples hands, etc. That was because I thought it was funny though rather than out of curiosity.


This is a good idea though assuming that grass has any sorts of nutrients to keep people alive, if somebody is starving to death than it's only logical to eat something and if grass can provide people with nourishment than the fact people don't eat it is questionable


Teamkiller once had the idea of taking videos of us eating platefuls of grass and uploading it to the Shroomery for the lulz, I wish I'd done that


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Edited by Sheekle (10/09/13 11:47 AM)


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
    #18953837 - 10/09/13 11:23 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

We don't eat grass because a steak tastes way better.

And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.


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Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

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Offlinethedream
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: g00ru]
    #18953845 - 10/09/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

There are several reasons why this is not possible.

Humans would not be able process the amount of grass necessary to fuel normal metabolism. We'd be eating and shitting all day and still wouldn't be able to extract enough nutrients to maintain and grow.

Grass does not have enough protein in it nor does it have all the essential amino acids humans needs because they cannot be synthesized by the body. This is the reason why vegetarians need to supplement their diets with protein supplements or by adding nuts and beans into their diet.

Humans do not have the necessary enzymes like cellulase to sufficiently break down large amount of plant matter.

Our stomachs are not physiologically capable of processing large amounts of vegetation. For example cows have four stomachs in order to process such large amount of vegetation.

Humans have evolved to eat the most nutrient dense foods like meat, eggs, andfruits and vegetables are needed in smaller quantities for vitamins and minerals compared with the macromolecules like protein, carbs, and fats that are needed in higher amounts to fuel metabolism.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: badchad]
    #18953849 - 10/09/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.



There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.

But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe


--------------------
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OfflineEnvix
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
    #18953904 - 10/09/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

when i was a little kid my friends and i would eat clovers straight from the ground. they tasted interesting i remember. dont think i would do it now because im afraid of germs


--------------------
smack a hoe out this dimension
continue my ascension
-bhad bhabie

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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Envix]
    #18953970 - 10/09/13 11:49 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Envix said:
when i was a little kid my friends and i would eat clovers straight from the ground. they tasted interesting i remember. dont think i would do it now because im afraid of germs




i watched a kid eat a bunch of clovers after school one time lol

it turned into a green paste and he obviously didn't want to eat em all the way but he did because a few kids were watching haha


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InvisibleGumby
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Registered: 06/13/01
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: koods]
    #18953980 - 10/09/13 11:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
we cant digest cellulose. animals that eat grass have microbes that break down cellulose.




Finally someone that provides the right answer.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
    #18954060 - 10/09/13 12:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

badchad said:
And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.



There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.

But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe




I don't think it would be a legitimate option. You would still starve to death, if you didn't get a bowel obstruction first.

That's not to say that grasses aren't the most important source of food for humans - we just don't eat the leafy parts. Wheat, corn, oats, rye, rice, sugar cane and bamboo are all types of grass.


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: Why don't we eat grass [Re: Sheekle]
    #18954087 - 10/09/13 12:19 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

badchad said:
And I spend too much time manicuring and mowing my lawn to fuck it up by eating it.



There's also the fact that a lot of grass people step all over and whatnot, but as a last resort for starvation it would be as legitimate an option as any other I'd assume.

But I don't think there's grass in most places where people starve to death, that usually happens in more desert areas I believe




This is why you don't drop out of school for all the kids out there on shroomery. You'll end up being like sheekle who seems to think you can eat grass as a last resort.... :rofl:


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