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sonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Unwanted flirtation
#18951591 - 10/08/13 08:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So one of the receptionists at my work is in to me. It started out pretty normal, just talking and shit, then she wanted to share some stories (we both earned creative writing degrees to one extent or the other), then she asked me out for a drink. I agreed to it even though at that point I was getting the I-like-you vibe a bit - she's pretty cool and I'm trying to develop a friend circle. But then the drink, which was originally with her friends at a pub night thing, didn't work out the night we had planned and has since turned into being just drinks with her and then into her wanting me to try some of her homebrew at her place. Would be a killer situation with either a friend or a girl I'm interested in, but she's unfortunately just not very attractive. I know it's judgey, but everyone does it.
This is all my own fault and there hasn't been any explicit revealing of feelings, but I don't know how to shut things down and even when I do it's going to be super awkward because there's literally no way to avoid her at work. I haven't had this problem since high school. What do I do?
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Global_Roaming
purity of essence



Registered: 06/06/13
Posts: 300
Loc: over the fucking rainbow....
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Sounds like you're about to come down with a case of temporary homosexuality...
-------------------- /peace out brothers and sisters

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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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assuming you're both like healthy functional adults I don't see why it would be super awkward to not return interest back like that
But then again I like never feel awkward in situations that the vast majority of people do so 
and I sometimes feel awkward when most people wouldn't. weird how I think sometimes
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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sonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Quote:
Global_Roaming said: Sounds like you're about to come down with a case of temporary homosexuality...
I really don't think I have the balls to pull that off.
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sonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Sheekle]
#18951636 - 10/08/13 08:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: assuming you're both like healthy functional adults I don't see why it would be super awkward to not return interest back like that
But then again I like never feel awkward in situations that the vast majority of people do so 
and I sometimes feel awkward when most people wouldn't. weird how I think sometimes
You don't feel awkward because being awkward is, like, the entirety of your persona. At least here. Us seriose people have problems when it's time to break the facade.
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Cabinet_Sanchez
Stranger



Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 371
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Shouldn't be that complicated. Just be honest. I know it's crazy, but it's really not that hard to be friendly with someone and be honest. So you're hanging out, and if she takes things to a point where you have to do something, just say "hey I'm flattered that you're attracted to me but I'm not interested in you in that way. We should be friends though!"
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8ow8
Soylent McGriddle



Registered: 05/22/13
Posts: 196
Loc: Canada
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She's a brewer??!?
AND YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED?
-------------------- “There you go. Giving a fuck when it ain’t your turn to give a fuck.” My Trade list
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sonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: 8ow8]
#18954893 - 10/09/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Update: so like right after I posted my last post here I went to her place for a drink. She took me to her bedroom and told me that she was in an open relationship and that she liked me...we had another drink and after a flash of relationship-association insight I told her that I was very flattered but that I was sort of getting back together with my ex (which is, unadvisedly, somewhat true, or at least not clearly false). And that was that. Will see how things go when I go to work today.
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Heffy
BrauMeister



Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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You're gonna turn down a date with a chick who makes her own beer?
Is she that ugly?
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
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sonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Heffy]
#18954913 - 10/09/13 03:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah, pretty much. I'm a dick.
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theonlysun81
Long Time Lurker, Recent Member


Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 1,712
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Heffy]
#18954919 - 10/09/13 03:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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dude,,, open relationship
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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psyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Quote:
tymoteusz3 said: Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..
qft. i never understood why its considered rude to not be interested in someone because your not sexually attracted to them. Theres a reason sexual attraction exists in the first place
-------------------- Think for yourself, question authority
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
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Quote:
psyconaught said:
Quote:
tymoteusz3 said: Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..
qft. i never understood why its considered rude to not be interested in someone because your not sexually attracted to them. Theres a reason sexual attraction exists in the first place
Double qft.
I had this fat girl who was really interested in me in college and she was so super obvious about it but I just couldn't find her attractive. Although we had a lot of common on the surface (both Chem majors, both nerds, etc) we had very little in common otherwise (she very conservative, family in the military, anti-drug, etc). Which I tried to use to justify my not asking her out, but if she were attractive I would have been all over that shit regardless 
I beat myself up about it for a while but eventually just realized there is nothing I could do. Its not like there aren't plenty of guys who are into fatties (shes now in a very stable long term relationship, which for some reason helped me feel better).
Open relationships are fucked however. I wouldn't wanna get involved in that madness
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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[Mod Edit: It's not OTD in here]
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
Edited by tymoteusz3 (10/10/13 06:10 AM)
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TwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist

Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
Loc: NGC1097
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Quote:
theonlysun81 said: dude,,, open relationship
As long as you don't lead her into thinking you are together romantically, hanging out with a cool, interesting person is fun.
Don't say anything about it unless she does though..and be polite and honest about it...you're just not feeling it but you value her friendship cuz she is (put thoughts here). If sex ensues, just try it out you never now...you can be the select few with an open relationship
-------------------- My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.
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