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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Registered: 10/18/11
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Unwanted flirtation
    #18951591 - 10/08/13 08:24 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

So one of the receptionists at my work is in to me.  It started out pretty normal, just talking and shit, then she wanted to share some stories (we both earned creative writing degrees to one extent or the other), then she asked me out for a drink.  I agreed to it even though at that point I was getting the I-like-you vibe a bit - she's pretty cool and I'm trying to develop a friend circle.  But then the drink, which was originally with her friends at a pub night thing, didn't work out the night we had planned and has since turned into being just drinks with her and then into her wanting me to try some of her homebrew at her place. :facepalm:  Would be a killer situation with either a friend or a girl I'm interested in, but she's unfortunately just not very attractive.  I know it's judgey, but everyone does it.

This is all my own fault and there hasn't been any explicit revealing of feelings, but I don't know how to shut things down and even when I do it's going to be super awkward because there's literally no way to avoid her at work.  I haven't had this problem since high school.  What do I do?


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InvisibleGlobal_Roaming
purity of essence
Male


Registered: 06/06/13
Posts: 300
Loc: over the fucking rainbow....
Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18951618 - 10/08/13 08:30 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Sounds like you're about to come down with a case of temporary homosexuality...


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18951623 - 10/08/13 08:31 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

assuming you're both like healthy functional adults I don't see why it would be super awkward to not return interest back like that


But then again I like never feel awkward in situations that the vast majority of people do so :justdontknow:

and I sometimes feel awkward when most people wouldn't. weird how I think sometimes


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Global_Roaming]
    #18951627 - 10/08/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Global_Roaming said:
Sounds like you're about to come down with a case of temporary homosexuality...




I really don't think I have the balls to pull that off.


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Sheekle]
    #18951636 - 10/08/13 08:35 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
assuming you're both like healthy functional adults I don't see why it would be super awkward to not return interest back like that


But then again I like never feel awkward in situations that the vast majority of people do so :justdontknow:

and I sometimes feel awkward when most people wouldn't. weird how I think sometimes




You don't feel awkward because being awkward is, like, the entirety of your persona.  At least here.  Us seriose people have problems when it's time to break the facade.


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OfflineCabinet_Sanchez
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18952326 - 10/08/13 11:16 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Shouldn't be that complicated.  Just be honest.  I know it's crazy, but it's really not that hard to be friendly with someone and be honest.  So you're hanging out, and if she takes things to a point where you have to do something, just say "hey I'm flattered that you're attracted to me but I'm not interested in you in that way.  We should be friends though!"


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Invisible8ow8
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Registered: 05/22/13
Posts: 196
Loc: Canada
Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Cabinet_Sanchez]
    #18954196 - 10/09/13 12:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

She's a brewer??!?

AND YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED?

:woah:


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: 8ow8]
    #18954893 - 10/09/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Update: so like right after I posted my last post here I went to her place for a drink.  She took me to her bedroom and told me that she was in an open relationship and that she liked me...we had another drink and after a flash of relationship-association insight I told her that I was very flattered but that I was sort of getting back together with my ex (which is, unadvisedly, somewhat true, or at least not clearly false).  And that was that.  Will see how things go when I go to work today.


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18954899 - 10/09/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

You're gonna turn down a date with a chick who makes her own beer?

Is she that ugly?


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I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Heffy]
    #18954913 - 10/09/13 03:22 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, pretty much.  I'm a dick.


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Offlinetheonlysun81
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Heffy]
    #18954919 - 10/09/13 03:23 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

dude,,, open relationship


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18955409 - 10/09/13 05:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Registered: 11/04/10
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18955567 - 10/09/13 05:44 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..



qft.
i never understood why its considered rude to not be interested in someone because your not sexually attracted to them. Theres a reason sexual attraction exists in the first place


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: psyconaught]
    #18956278 - 10/09/13 08:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
Not a dick - you have to be sexually attracted to someone..



qft.
i never understood why its considered rude to not be interested in someone because your not sexually attracted to them. Theres a reason sexual attraction exists in the first place



Double qft.

I had this fat girl who was really interested in me in college and she was so super obvious about it but I just couldn't find her attractive. Although we had a lot of common on the surface (both Chem majors, both nerds, etc) we had very little in common otherwise (she very conservative, family in the military, anti-drug, etc). Which I tried to use to justify my not asking her out, but if she were attractive I would have been all over that shit regardless :lol:

I beat myself up about it for a while but eventually just realized there is nothing I could do. Its not like there aren't plenty of guys who are into fatties (shes now in a very stable long term relationship, which for some reason helped me feel better).






Open relationships are fucked however. I wouldn't wanna get involved in that madness


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18957230 - 10/09/13 11:21 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

[Mod Edit: It's not OTD in here]


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Edited by tymoteusz3 (10/10/13 06:10 AM)


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OfflineTwinEclipse
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Re: Unwanted flirtation [Re: theonlysun81]
    #18958200 - 10/10/13 07:28 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

theonlysun81 said:
dude,,, open relationship





As long as you don't lead her into thinking you are together romantically, hanging out with a cool, interesting person is fun.

Don't say anything about it unless she does though..and be polite and honest about it...you're just not feeling it but you value her friendship cuz she is (put thoughts here). If sex ensues, just try it out you never now...you can be the select few with an open relationship :shrug:


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My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.



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