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Invisibletito123
Male

Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 3,006
When did you start to settle down?
    #18941584 - 10/06/13 06:12 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

To seems like as people get older, they quit fucking around all the time and start being responsible an getting things done.

For some people, it's right after high school when try get serious with college, for some it's after colleg with a job, and with some it's not by choice but because they had a kid or something.

And of course, some people do a little of both. But I don't think I've met those people.

I'm still in my fucking around stage but I'm getting bored of parties and the people I hang out with.



So why have you decided to get serious with your goals? Why not? Was it by choice? Did it come naturally?


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Offlinegg2013
Traveller
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Registered: 05/17/13
Posts: 44
Loc: United States
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: tito123] * 1
    #18941658 - 10/06/13 06:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I went to college straight outta high school so I could get thar shit outta the way..took 18 credit hours and still worked about 50hrs a week, still had time to party on the weekends tho :grin: But I'm glad I did cuz now I'm 23 and makin plenty of money and plenty of time aside from work to do what I want without worrying about school and all that good stuff


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Offlineg00ru
lit pants tit licker
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Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: gg2013]
    #18941667 - 10/06/13 06:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

never gonna settle down

#lifelivinlunatics


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss


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InvisibleDoctor Sponge
He's off on a tangent
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Registered: 05/03/12
Posts: 11,795
Loc: the desert Flag
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: gg2013]
    #18941686 - 10/06/13 06:35 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

gg2013 said:
I went to college straight outta high school so I could get thar shit outta the way..took 18 credit hours and still worked about 50hrs a week, still had time to party on the weekends tho :grin: But I'm glad I did cuz now I'm 23 and makin plenty of money and plenty of time aside from work to do what I want without worrying about school and all that good stuff



can I have some money?:awehigh:


--------------------


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,656
Last seen: 2 hours, 17 minutes
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: gg2013] * 3
    #18941711 - 10/06/13 06:39 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I settled down a lot once I hit 18 and the threat of "real jail" became real.. Before then I was a problem child..  But I was still fucking up and getting in trouble up until just a couple of years ago (I'm 28). This year I finally went and got my GED, and I got my license and stuff and am getting ready to work. So I guess you can say I didn't get my shit straight until 28.

Why did I finally decide to do it? In short, shrooms. Shrooms made me face a lot of what I was ignoring, and then want to fix all the wrong in my life, so I am, or trying to anyways.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineMisterSandman
Neo Nazi
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Registered: 03/23/13
Posts: 2,936
Loc: Meth
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: g00ru] * 1
    #18941718 - 10/06/13 06:40 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

g00ru said:
never gonna settle down

#lifelivinlunatics




Damn right....







#YOLO420BLUNTSMOKINFUCKDAPOLICEYOUNGMONEY


--------------------


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InvisibleRiderOnTheStorm
Reject thug culture
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Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 1,855
Loc: Hug a hippie today
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: tito123] * 4
    #18941769 - 10/06/13 06:51 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

At some point I had just met so many shitty people from bars and clubs and festivals that I realized they just weren't worth talking to or fucking anymore.

I had always had this desire to meet new people and always gave them my respect and the benefit of the doubt right from the start, but after meeting a few junkies, alkys, thieves and liars I got jaded and became very selective about who I was around. I didn't want to become like them so I realized I had to start doing thangs of importance.

I think I was 24 or 25.


--------------------


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InvisibleSynthe
Gatorade me, bitch!
Male


Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns Flag
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: MisterSandman]
    #18941855 - 10/06/13 07:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MisterSandman said:
Quote:

g00ru said:
never gonna settle down

#lifelivinlunatics




Damn right....







#YOLO420BLUNTSMOKINFUCKDAPOLICEYOUNGMONEY





--------------------



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OfflineMisterSandman
Neo Nazi
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Registered: 03/23/13
Posts: 2,936
Loc: Meth
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: Synthe] * 1
    #18941980 - 10/06/13 07:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Synthe said:
Quote:

MisterSandman said:
Quote:

g00ru said:
never gonna settle down

#lifelivinlunatics




Damn right....







#YOLO420BLUNTSMOKINFUCKDAPOLICEYOUNGMONEY








:hahthatsrich: I love it


--------------------


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OfflineDeadPhan
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Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: MisterSandman]
    #18942048 - 10/06/13 07:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm 32


--------------------
 


Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: RiderOnTheStorm]
    #18942070 - 10/06/13 07:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

g00ru said:
#lifelivinlunatics



:nicesmile:
Quote:

RiderOnTheStorm said:
but after meeting a few junkies, alkys, thieves and liars I got jaded and became very selective about who I was around.



Yeah man somewhere along the line my value placement has leveled out a bit no doubt. I don't think I'd say I've "settled down" though


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinegg2013
Traveller
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Registered: 05/17/13
Posts: 44
Loc: United States
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #18942106 - 10/06/13 07:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Haha sure why not! Check your bank account:wink: Don't get me wrong I still like to have good times, just not the high school style ragers..well scratch that every once in awhile I do, just nice to have the comfort of knowing you have something to fall back on


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: gg2013]
    #18942163 - 10/06/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I have slowed down quite a bit.  Kids do that to you.  We had a total of six kids.  Their needs took precedence over any bullshit I might have wanted to hatch for my own amusement.  To have it all you have to grow up so you can keep a frame of reference with your generation.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: mpd]
    #18942201 - 10/06/13 08:21 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I got more serious about getting my shit straight January 1st 2012 by completely changing my life. Everything changed from there, I miss what I left behind once in a while, but mostly I have much more peace and satisfaction in life. Now I'm focusing on my goals and dreams, hobbies, self improvement, being a better person as best I can. :taco:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Invisiblemandrax360
Woodchipper Deluxe
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/20/11
Posts: 1,980
Loc: Nelson Mandela House, Peckham Flag
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #18943876 - 10/07/13 09:28 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

It's differers from person to person . I settled down at 25 as I was tired of going out see the same drunk fucks . I'm 32 now and some of those drunk fucks are still at it .You will now when the time is right for you .

I just wish I travelled more before we had my son,there are some many places I would love to see but they will have to wait for now


Edited by mandrax360 (10/07/13 09:48 AM)


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Offlinedrkkenny
Explorer

Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: tito123]
    #18944202 - 10/07/13 10:57 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Adam only met Lily in the evenings, usually after a gourmet meal he enjoyed from his chef, he always had a fear she would start to detest his visit & he didn't want to lose the place he held in her thoughts. It seemed he was always on the move for new & ingenious inventions to win over her & captivate her attention. If on his way to the dreamlake he saw a statue of a mythical bird or a rosy flower which delighted him, he would take a snapshot or pick the flower thinking that the pleasured he had derived from it would naturally be shared mutually alongside her & make her more fond of him.

He would send them through the mail, or plead a neighbor to deliver them to her, telling them that her satisfaction was all that mattered to him, & considering that the neighbor may pass off the info of his secret admiration & gifts, only wishing the moment to her retrieval of the gift would call to see her golden smile light up & when she did get his gifts he felt so much closer & almost connected to her soul, as if in the room with her as she received the gift. He was often plagued by the idea of her leaving to shop at some fancy bazaar & having missed its arrival until she returned home & could take it & bring it to her collection of Adams gifts he made specifically with her & only her in mind, his little guardian angel.

He was always there to catch her in his arms & whirl her around & gently caress her cheeks & look deeply in her eyes & proclaim his love & devotion to her, then she would say, "Promise me we will stay together forever. You are the only one who can possibly ever understand me, only you my darling". She would sometimes ask him if she could borrow money, saying she had ran low after a shopping binge.

He would, being one of the richest mans in the entire world, withdraw a great deal of money & buy her some rubies or a necklace since she loved them & for the rest he would drive to the bank to transfer some money to her account, it made him happy, anything that was of help to Lily or impressed her made him crazy with love, with his influence & highrank he was just happy to be of use to her no matter what she asked for, her wish was his command. His aristocratic friends would often suggest that it was only his money she was after, that she was a golddigger, or, "its because of all your snazzy parties you throw, she just wants to steal your glory", or even, "Look at what the well dressed man is wearing" & pull out a picture of Adam & flash it around, revealing Adam in a sharp & spiffy suit. At first he was skeptical to their suggestions, thinking they had it out for them to split apart, which neither of them ever wanted, they wanted to spend the rest of their days together, by each others side, no matter what came between them.

When Adam left her, he would smile at his awareness of her hope for the time of his return to arrive, she would tell him how the time seemed to drag on until he had made his way around to her, remembering the way she would beg for him not to be late & then would say, "Won't you join me for tea?" He would, to his extreme dissatisfaction sometimes have to post pone the tete-a-tete, telling her he was busy writing an essay for college about human nature, or some novel that tried to capture why we are drawn to something & what that signifies as to the future discourse of events, which, honestly, he wasn't working on & merely said it to have some alone time from her. She would say, "I like you, you are always so puzzling, I could tell right away you were somehow different from everyone else, you're magnificent & grand. I'm always positive that you are working on some new artful project or pondering away about something or the other. I love being your student, to become a regular all time bookworm like you, to really know something& feel above it all".

She would at times invite him to small get togethers with some bourgeois members of society. He would always say that he had a fear of meeting new people, of getting involved with someone he had never been in contact before until the moment of their contact, the alarm, the suspicion of the new person, the ends of human actions which could infect his spirit with something that would have the possibility of crushing his heart & soul, his tenderness & sensitivity would force him to retreat into a private hole unless he was going out to meet Lily, the only person worthy of his time.

Lily would think it quite funny how he was scared of getting close to someone, that love & affection was something he was naturally inclined to take a strict defense to deny undergoing the releasing of that love & affection, but she also could understand why some people may hold that view for & said, "Some woman must have treated you badly, or hurt your feelings & now you think everyone else is the same way & are afraid. She couldn't have understood you, you're such an extraordinary person."

He considered it & then abandoned the thought that he was aghast to. Lily would often ask how he got stuck in such a dingy neighborhood, deeming it inferior to his intricate mind, stating that the place wasn't suitable for such a very very smart man & when he accepted her request at coming to visit him at his house, If it was only a short meeting because of some interference that forced her to return home, she would head out & tell him she was so sorry of the unexpected notice to return home, but that she was happy to have spent a little time in the place she had loved.

The way she said this made him think that she thought of him as something worth more than anyone else she knew, almost seeming to form some romantic bond between each other. He was at a stage in life where he could offer his huge heart & capacity to love & hand it out without expecting anything in return, but the satisfaction of loving. Ever since his lover had shown up in his life, he seemed to finally march to a brighter beat, but only when his mind had focused its attention on his love Lily.

This increased his passion for learning the truth, a truth that was clearly evident to him that it involved a connection with Lily, only obtaining truth from her, a truth which main objective had become a complete center on Lily, every aspect of her personality was what he was dedicated to learning more of, her past, her interests, her favorite music, her future, all these things mattered most to him. Everyone elses actions seemed unimportant compared to his mistress. With this strange love he had found Lily to be the greatest thing that ever happened to him, his curiosity to know everything about her told him this was true & he wasn't delusional, his love for her stirred & increased by the hour, he would reminisce about their past encounters to ease the suffering when they were apart, he found that his thirst for knowing every minor detail about Lily inside & out was what motivated him to continue his life, he couldn't conceive of his future without Lily taking some part in it, to the point of it becoming an unhealthy obsession, something almost shameful in his need to constantly find out more about her, somethings going as far as spying outside her window hoping to catch a glance of her beautiful & prominent face which he loved to stare at for hours at a time.

He would be there for more reasons, he always suspected her spending time with men that weren't him, so he would bribe the people who lived in her neighborhood & if they didn't give into his request he would increase the offer & they would finally succumb to his wealth.

Once he had the telegraph with private information he would try to decipher it from all angles, looking at each different possibility, it was a scientific meted he used to increase the likelihood of his estimates of truth in the telegram. All these numerous tasks would confuse & twist his mind, he would get paranoid that there was a man in her house & so he would ask her to join him to a trip to the beach so they can both get away & spend some quality time together. The problem is once they got there he could swear every male there desired his Lily & that since they desired her she may give in to their desires.

This just caused things to spiral, in his past he was known as a very benevolent & humanistic person who always yearned & went out of his way to make new friends, but now with the knowledge that all these unworthy men had eyes for his mountain lily he started to take an automatic dislike & distrust to every single person in the world that had ever laid eyes on her & he thought was secretly hiding their desires from her. Essentially, he became a misanthrope all because of Lolita, & who could blame him really? How could he rest & feign friendliness when every man he seen made him realize the potential of them taking his rightful place as her greatest company & benefactor?

At the beach she would lie on the blanket Adam had brought, usually lethargically her boy would lose all the eagerness it had, preoccupied with the thoughts of why Adam was ignoring her at the beach, she would push her hair back & then some rupture of emotion would take place, some kind of transcendental l ecstasy that surfaces in all individuals in moments of deep thoughts & during solitary repose, they become completely unchained from the ordinary restrains of self express & become their true self. Some witty twinkle would flash like a silver star crashing into the Earth. Adam would look so morbid from the thought of her abandoning him for someone else that she would be become impatient & say, "Are you just going to stand there & watch me!? & I feel I'm being awfully nice to you, I guess I'll see you some other time."

After she left him he would try to find out just where she had gone to, & thinking it would be smart to form a bond with the men she saw, who may be able to inform him. Never the less, when he knew who she would be spending he evening with, he would go through his list of many associates, & obtain from them, if only in an indirect way, the person & find out all the information he needed about them & when he was sending his letters to the friend who knew, to try & learn more about something they mentioned, he would sometimes find out some of the questions he asked didn't have an answer & would transfer that strain of not knowing to a different corner of his mind.

Having the info about him did not necessarily better his situation, & he didn't let the thought of something unfortunate happening between her & the man, that if she did see him, it was because they were friends, & that she would tell him all about next time they chatted. Sometimes she would declare she couldn't see him for weeks & she seemed eager to some noir theater outing, he would always insist on her not going alone, to take her friend along to be safe. He would hound the friend for answers to what they had been up to, shaking his fists at him, losing his sense of manners & embarrassing himself, which was unlike Adam. He later received a note which cleared up all his anguish. It read: "So what you are saying is you didn't go to the theater straight away? So where did you go before you went there? That's queer, do you expect her idea to go to the Noir theater was in her best interests? Okay thanks for that. Was she with many people? How many? A dozen! Oh? She didn't speak to a soul? That's some funny business there. So she just sat there all by herself? What a great fellow, I have a lot of respect for you." This made him loosen up a lot.

The words, "Didn't speak to a soul" Were what lifted his morbid condition, it was like being pumped with an elixir of life, he took it all in & it made him free, it flew through the sky & entered inside him & liberated him. He then wrote a letter to Lily telling her that she must find him very dull if that was what she preferred over him, & that their insignificance filled him with pain as if her enjoying of it was an act of horror.


--------------------

No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages


Edited by drkkenny (10/07/13 11:33 AM)


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: drkkenny]
    #18944487 - 10/07/13 11:55 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

sweet mother of god


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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Offlineshivas.wisdom
בּ
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 13,462
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Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: drkkenny]
    #18944509 - 10/07/13 11:59 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

good point, drkkenny


--------------------


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #18944543 - 10/07/13 12:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
good point, drkkenny



yes, very astute observations :nodofunderstanding:


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


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Offlinetwighead
mͯó
I'm a teapot


Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,730
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill Flag
Last seen: 16 hours, 15 minutes
Re: When did you start to settle down? [Re: drkkenny]
    #18944556 - 10/07/13 12:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

drkkenny said:
Adam only met Lily in the evenings, usually after a gourmet meal he enjoyed from his chef, he always had a fear she would start to detest his visit & he didn't want to lose the place he held in her thoughts. It seemed he was always on the move for new & ingenious inventions to win over her & captivate her attention. If on his way to the dreamlake he saw a statue of a mythical bird or a rosy flower which delighted him, he would take a snapshot or pick the flower thinking that the pleasured he had derived from it would naturally be shared mutually alongside her & make her more fond of him.

He would send them through the mail, or plead a neighbor to deliver them to her, telling them that her satisfaction was all that mattered to him, & considering that the neighbor may pass off the info of his secret admiration & gifts, only wishing the moment to her retrieval of the gift would call to see her golden smile light up & when she did get his gifts he felt so much closer & almost connected to her soul, as if in the room with her as she received the gift. He was often plagued by the idea of her leaving to shop at some fancy bazaar & having missed its arrival until she returned home & could take it & bring it to her collection of Adams gifts he made specifically with her & only her in mind, his little guardian angel.

He was always there to catch her in his arms & whirl her around & gently caress her cheeks & look deeply in her eyes & proclaim his love & devotion to her, then she would say, "Promise me we will stay together forever. You are the only one who can possibly ever understand me, only you my darling". She would sometimes ask him if she could borrow money, saying she had ran low after a shopping binge.

He would, being one of the richest mans in the entire world, withdraw a great deal of money & buy her some rubies or a necklace since she loved them & for the rest he would drive to the bank to transfer some money to her account, it made him happy, anything that was of help to Lily or impressed her made him crazy with love, with his influence & highrank he was just happy to be of use to her no matter what she asked for, her wish was his command. His aristocratic friends would often suggest that it was only his money she was after, that she was a golddigger, or, "its because of all your snazzy parties you throw, she just wants to steal your glory", or even, "Look at what the well dressed man is wearing" & pull out a picture of Adam & flash it around, revealing Adam in a sharp & spiffy suit. At first he was skeptical to their suggestions, thinking they had it out for them to split apart, which neither of them ever wanted, they wanted to spend the rest of their days together, by each others side, no matter what came between them.

When Adam left her, he would smile at his awareness of her hope for the time of his return to arrive, she would tell him how the time seemed to drag on until he had made his way around to her, remembering the way she would beg for him not to be late & then would say, "Won't you join me for tea?" He would, to his extreme dissatisfaction sometimes have to post pone the tete-a-tete, telling her he was busy writing an essay for college about human nature, or some novel that tried to capture why we are drawn to something & what that signifies as to the future discourse of events, which, honestly, he wasn't working on & merely said it to have some alone time from her. She would say, "I like you, you are always so puzzling, I could tell right away you were somehow different from everyone else, you're magnificent & grand. I'm always positive that you are working on some new artful project or pondering away about something or the other. I love being your student, to become a regular all time bookworm like you, to really know something& feel above it all".

She would at times invite him to small get togethers with some bourgeois members of society. He would always say that he had a fear of meeting new people, of getting involved with someone he had never been in contact before until the moment of their contact, the alarm, the suspicion of the new person, the ends of human actions which could infect his spirit with something that would have the possibility of crushing his heart & soul, his tenderness & sensitivity would force him to retreat into a private hole unless he was going out to meet Lily, the only person worthy of his time.

Lily would think it quite funny how he was scared of getting close to someone, that love & affection was something he was naturally inclined to take a strict defense to deny undergoing the releasing of that love & affection, but she also could understand why some people may hold that view for & said, "Some woman must have treated you badly, or hurt your feelings & now you think everyone else is the same way & are afraid. She couldn't have understood you, you're such an extraordinary person."

He considered it & then abandoned the thought that he was aghast to. Lily would often ask how he got stuck in such a dingy neighborhood, deeming it inferior to his intricate mind, stating that the place wasn't suitable for such a very very smart man & when he accepted her request at coming to visit him at his house, If it was only a short meeting because of some interference that forced her to return home, she would head out & tell him she was so sorry of the unexpected notice to return home, but that she was happy to have spent a little time in the place she had loved.

The way she said this made him think that she thought of him as something worth more than anyone else she knew, almost seeming to form some romantic bond between each other. He was at a stage in life where he could offer his huge heart & capacity to love & hand it out without expecting anything in return, but the satisfaction of loving. Ever since his lover had shown up in his life, he seemed to finally march to a brighter beat, but only when his mind had focused its attention on his love Lily.

This increased his passion for learning the truth, a truth that was clearly evident to him that it involved a connection with Lily, only obtaining truth from her, a truth which main objective had become a complete center on Lily, every aspect of her personality was what he was dedicated to learning more of, her past, her interests, her favorite music, her future, all these things mattered most to him. Everyone elses actions seemed unimportant compared to his mistress. With this strange love he had found Lily to be the greatest thing that ever happened to him, his curiosity to know everything about her told him this was true & he wasn't delusional, his love for her stirred & increased by the hour, he would reminisce about their past encounters to ease the suffering when they were apart, he found that his thirst for knowing every minor detail about Lily inside & out was what motivated him to continue his life, he couldn't conceive of his future without Lily taking some part in it, to the point of it becoming an unhealthy obsession, something almost shameful in his need to constantly find out more about her, somethings going as far as spying outside her window hoping to catch a glance of her beautiful & prominent face which he loved to stare at for hours at a time.

He would be there for more reasons, he always suspected her spending time with men that weren't him, so he would bribe the people who lived in her neighborhood & if they didn't give into his request he would increase the offer & they would finally succumb to his wealth.

Once he had the telegraph with private information he would try to decipher it from all angles, looking at each different possibility, it was a scientific meted he used to increase the likelihood of his estimates of truth in the telegram. All these numerous tasks would confuse & twist his mind, he would get paranoid that there was a man in her house & so he would ask her to join him to a trip to the beach so they can both get away & spend some quality time together. The problem is once they got there he could swear every male there desired his Lily & that since they desired her she may give in to their desires.

This just caused things to spiral, in his past he was known as a very benevolent & humanistic person who always yearned & went out of his way to make new friends, but now with the knowledge that all these unworthy men had eyes for his mountain lily he started to take an automatic dislike & distrust to every single person in the world that had ever laid eyes on her & he thought was secretly hiding their desires from her. Essentially, he became a misanthrope all because of Lolita, & who could blame him really? How could he rest & feign friendliness when every man he seen made him realize the potential of them taking his rightful place as her greatest company & benefactor?

At the beach she would lie on the blanket Adam had brought, usually lethargically her boy would lose all the eagerness it had, preoccupied with the thoughts of why Adam was ignoring her at the beach, she would push her hair back & then some rupture of emotion would take place, some kind of transcendental l ecstasy that surfaces in all individuals in moments of deep thoughts & during solitary repose, they become completely unchained from the ordinary restrains of self express & become their true self. Some witty twinkle would flash like a silver star crashing into the Earth. Adam would look so morbid from the thought of her abandoning him for someone else that she would be become impatient & say, "Are you just going to stand there & watch me!? & I feel I'm being awfully nice to you, I guess I'll see you some other time."

After she left him he would try to find out just where she had gone to, & thinking it would be smart to form a bond with the men she saw, who may be able to inform him. Never the less, when he knew who she would be spending he evening with, he would go through his list of many associates, & obtain from them, if only in an indirect way, the person & find out all the information he needed about them & when he was sending his letters to the friend who knew, to try & learn more about something they mentioned, he would sometimes find out some of the questions he asked didn't have an answer & would transfer that strain of not knowing to a different corner of his mind.

Having the info about him did not necessarily better his situation, & he didn't let the thought of something unfortunate happening between her & the man, that if she did see him, it was because they were friends, & that she would tell him all about next time they chatted. Sometimes she would declare she couldn't see him for weeks & she seemed eager to some noir theater outing, he would always insist on her not going alone, to take her friend along to be safe. He would hound the friend for answers to what they had been up to, shaking his fists at him, losing his sense of manners & embarrassing himself, which was unlike Adam. He later received a note which cleared up all his anguish. It read: "So what you are saying is you didn't go to the theater straight away? So where did you go before you went there? That's queer, do you expect her idea to go to the Noir theater was in her best interests? Okay thanks for that. Was she with many people? How many? A dozen! Oh? She didn't speak to a soul? That's some funny business there. So she just sat there all by herself? What a great fellow, I have a lot of respect for you." This made him loosen up a lot.

The words, "Didn't speak to a soul" Were what lifted his morbid condition, it was like being pumped with an elixir of life, he took it all in & it made him free, it flew through the sky & entered inside him & liberated him. He then wrote a letter to Lily telling her that she must find him very dull if that was what she preferred over him, & that their insignificance filled him with pain as if her enjoying of it was an act of horror.





Of Paternal Power...
In this chapter of his life, Locke takes up the subject of paternal power, which he would prefer to label “parental” power. He objects to the notion that all parental power is invested in the father. Scripture itself places power in both the father and the mother and requires children to obey both. This propensity to consider parental power contained wholly within the father is done by those who wish to uphold an absolute monarchy, which is also based upon placing the power in a single individual.

Locke addresses the idea of equality and concedes that some situations elevate one man above another, such age, virtue, excellence, birth, and alliance, etc., but the laws of nature proclaim that all men are equal to each other in terms of natural freedom. Children are born to this state of equality but do not possess their natural freedom until they attain adulthood, upon which point their parents’ jurisdiction over them ceases. While Adam was born into this world a fully formed adult, his descendants are born as helpless and ignorant infants. Since they cannot support themselves, their parents are obligated to provide nourishment, care, and education.

The law of reason governs all men, but children are not equipped to understand this law. They are not free either, as they cannot consent to the law of reason. Locke defines the law as not simply a limitation but as something that guides an intelligent and free man to what is in his best interest and does not restrict him more than what is good for mankind in general. If a law is too restrictive, too limiting, too confining, it should be abolished. Without laws there can be no freedom, but Locke counsels his readers not to confuse freedom with every man being able to do whatever he pleases; freedom is actually the ability to make decisions regarding one’s person, actions, possessions, and other property without another man’s interference as well as to avoid being subject to another’s absolute power.

As children do not understand reason, their parents are obligated to raise them. God gave men free will, but since children do not have the capacity to direct their free will, their parents must act in their best interest until they reach maturity. Only in this state of maturity can a man understand what the law is and what his freedom under it entails. Even if the father is removed from the picture, a parental surrogate should be provided until the child reaches maturity. At this point, whether the child resides in a state of nature or under an organized government, it is free. If the child is a lunatic or an idiot, they cannot be said to have reason or an ability to understand the law and act within its bounds; therefore, they remain under their parents’ care.

Growing older brings with it rationality and freedom. Natural freedom and subjection to one’s parents are not mutually exclusive. Even adherents to Filmer’s theory of the divine right of kings must understand that if a king were to die and his infant son succeeded him, there would still be a period where tutors, councilors, and governors had to rule in his stead until he attained maturity. It is not until one reaches a certain level of maturity that a government demands of him fealty or submission. Sending a man out into society before his reason can guide him is no less than abandonment to wretchedness.

Locke now moves into a discussion of whether or not the father has absolute power over his offspring. Simply begetting a child does not bestow upon the father this absolute authority. In cases where a woman has multiple husbands, or the husband and wife separate, or the father dies, it is clear that paternal power as the patriarchalists view it is invalid. The mother has the same ability to make and carry out rules just as the father would have been able to. Furthermore, the father’s control only exists until the child reaches maturity; he has no control over the child’s life or property. It is temporary.

Even though the child may have control over his life and property, he is not exempted from the requirement that he honor his parents. The child certainly does not have to submit or obey his parents absolutely, but it is necessary that he honor, esteem, respect, and care for those who nourished and educated him in his state of ignorance. This nourishment and education comes naturally to parents because God instills within them “tenderness for their offspring.” This duty of parents to nourish and educate is mirrored in the duty of children to honor and respect, although the latter requires a little less obedience and is incumbent upon older children, not younger. Even if a father sends his son to be apprenticed by another, he still is due the honor of his son. This is also the right of the mother. Locke reiterates that a parent’s power is not absolute; the father and mother have no control over their child’s property, actions, or life once they are of age.

Locke then makes an important distinction between political and paternal power. If all political power were paternal, a child would have only an obligation to his prince, not his parents. However, all princes still must honor their own parents just as his subjects honor their parents.

The only way a father can be said to have more parental power than the mother is because he has the power to bestow his estate upon the child of his choosing. If the land that is bestowed is under a government, then the child that accepts his inheritance is also subject to the laws and conditions of that government. This is not a right particular to fatherhood but one particular to anyone who gives another a tract of land (another example being that of a Frenchman that leaves an Englishman land).

Conclusively, a father’s power over his children extends no further than their state of youthfulness and does not give him the ability to exercise power over the child’s property, actions, or life. Locke does account for the earliest period of human history, where the vastness and wildness of nature separated families from one another and led them to invest the father with executive power simply to have any government at all to stave off chaos. However, this was not due to any inherent paternal right but by consent of his children. Any punishment doled out was not by nature of paternal power but by the executive power of the law of nature. This state of affairs led to hereditary monarchies because when the father died he left his power to his natural heirs. Locke concludes that those who would accept this argument must also concede that princes should be priests, as fathers in the earliest families were also priests of their household.


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