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m00ncalf
Funkrwiggly


Registered: 11/24/12
Posts: 193
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Love and Healing
#18933715 - 10/04/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hello. I want to talk a bit about personal acceptance. How can it be achieved? What can be done day by day to appreciate who we are and find peace?
Ever since a difficult psychedelic experience a year and a half ago I haven't felt like my whole self, like there is a cloud lingering over my psyche. I spend a lot of time thinking about this, and make steady progress when I'm inspired for it, so I am optimistic. I'm at otherwise such a prime moment in my life. These are my college years, and being in this environment is a constant reminder of how I want to make more of opportunities I have -- beit for learning or love. Yet, some part of me still aches. The weight of it makes opening up and being my true self difficult. I want to love myself again and cry tears of joy. I want to branch out into the world and live life, to make others happy. I want to be creative and know what it's like to fall in love. I don't regret any of my decisions. I've learned things I may not have otherwise learned and they've made me who I am. I just want to be the best version of myself.
Does anybody have any suggestions? I live a physically healthy lifestyle and began meditating little by little, not quite every day and for about 15 minutes at a time. Last time it felt as though I was cultivating the pain, whatever it is, to the surface of my awareness, but I wasn't able to do anything with it. Usually I have this feeling like there's pressure in the back of my mind (in daily life). I mean that in a literal sense; it actually manifests physiologically. During my last little meditation session I could feel the pressure building until it was at the forefront of consciousness, just hovering there. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? And could it be something I can continue to address with meditation?
I've been getting in these emotional moods every weekend lately, like right now. To be honest I'm getting tired of the struggle. It's time to move on. Any suggestions on how to do that would be very appreciated. Writing this and listening to the right music has been a step in the right direction in itself.
-------------------- “You’re involved in a mysterious engagement where every living moment presents you with mystery, opportunity, and wonder.” -Terence McKenna
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LordSenate
One of the Lost



Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: Love and Healing [Re: m00ncalf]
#18934022 - 10/05/13 12:00 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Although I don't know it, I think meditation is helpful for sure. It won't hurt that is for sure. We should all take time to clear are minds and relax ourselves. Now mind you there is a difference between contemplation and meditation.
Also to answer your question the best way I can, I would have to say time. That is the best bet for your mind to clear and for you to feel complete.
In the mean time do whatever you can to make yourself feel like you are accomplishing something and that is worthwhile and beneficial to you. It doesn't have to be something selfish, even doing volunteer work should make you feel good about what you are doing.
A therapist isn't a bad idea either if you find the right one. Having someone to talk to and say whatever you want helps a ton.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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I have something to add, perhaps, but short on time. Posting to remind myself to check back in.
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: Love and Healing [Re: shLong]
#18955348 - 10/09/13 04:57 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Integrate in healthy groups OP, and as much as possible, be part of an intimate relationship. Physical skin-on-skin contact has this quality of calming us down, making us feel deeply valued, loved and accepted. Belonging to a lively active group does the same, fills us with good vibes.
Alone time and the lack of intimacy amplify self-doubts, create time for cycling through dark obsessive negative thoughts, etc.
Meditation, going on the inside, listening and letting the emotions flow through, that's good as well. Just remember there's also a lot that you can't do by yourself, that can naturally be done with the help of others in your peer group.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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m00ncalf
Funkrwiggly


Registered: 11/24/12
Posts: 193
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Yeah that's a good point you bring up and a realization I've recently come to myself. My recent solo mushroom trips have felt somewhat redundant and less productive for it. I've also found myself feeling kind of lonely at times so I think connecting to others, intimately or not, is exactly what I need. I'm doing everything I can to be open and let that happen so I'm actually feeling pretty optimistic.
-------------------- “You’re involved in a mysterious engagement where every living moment presents you with mystery, opportunity, and wonder.” -Terence McKenna
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Love and Healing [Re: m00ncalf]
#18959236 - 10/10/13 12:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Same here, I've realized that tripping alone too many times is very much like drinking alone. Not healthy on the long term, alienating.
IMO best is to find people to trip with, make it a shared experience. Video worth 1,000 words:
Even for shamans, that retreat and trip very deeply alone, the very point of it is to come back smarter, more able, to be ready to help others in the future. To help the tribe. There's a very deep community orientation with tripping. You have to share the results of the trip with your fellow human being in some way, for best results  
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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CrimpJiggler
Stranger

Registered: 08/28/11
Posts: 251
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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I'd recommend doing ayahuasca with a Santo Daime church. I've only done it twice, and both times were very difficult experiences, but at the end of each ceremony, there was this overwhelming sense of accomplishment and well being.
-------------------- …...,~__________________, ,. ….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank. …..), —.(_(__) / ….// (..)),```` …//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world! .//__/
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Well yeah, goes without saying that if you have access to a Santo Daime church or an NAC Peyote sweat lodge, or even some generic band of merry men that meet to shroom and acid trip in a nice hippie fashion together, then your troubles are pretty much over. Not from one single visit of course, but from having a regular meeting and tripping practice to rely on, a place where you can work on yourself and reconnect with all the fly things that are spiraling out there
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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CrimpJiggler
Stranger

Registered: 08/28/11
Posts: 251
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Yeah whats great about SD, is most of the ceremony is spent singing, so for your first few ceremonies you don't need to feel uncomfortable being around people you don't know, since everyones attention is focussed on the songs, and not each other. I find it mind bogglingly difficult to sing along though, especially since I can't read Portuguese. Just keeping on the right page is a challenge for me lol. What a wonderful organisation SD is, I thank God groups like this exist in the world.
-------------------- …...,~__________________, ,. ….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank. …..), —.(_(__) / ….// (..)),```` …//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world! .//__/
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Mate you should probably be informed that singing is optional, and also holding a book is optional. Sure most people do it, there may be a slight social pressure for you to join in, but I doubt they'll kick you out if you just close your eyes and focus internally. I've been 4-5 times, never have I bothered with a book or singing, and in fact I actively avoid it. Their bullshit Jesus songs are conflicting with my visions. I'm there to talk to the plant directly, not mumble idiotic superstitions and swear allegiance to Mickey Mouse. That's me at least.
Still very good group and experience, glad I don't have to travel across oceans for my aya
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Epigallo
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Registered: 09/17/06
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What concrete steps would you take to integrate into healthy social groups?
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Love and Healing [Re: Epigallo]
#18971229 - 10/13/13 06:53 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
bradley said: What concrete steps would you take to integrate into healthy social groups?
That's a whole thread unto itself mate, make the first post and I think many people will be happy to chip in.
Basic step would be to google stuff to do around your city. Martial arts, yoga, juggling, dancing, studying some instrument, even freakin Bible study if you can keep a straight face and handle the boredom and the chicks that don't put out 
Do your googling and also walk around the city, paying attention to any posters advertising this stuff. Stop at 3-4 of them and actually check those people out.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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CrimpJiggler
Stranger

Registered: 08/28/11
Posts: 251
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Quote:
Spacerific said: Mate you should probably be informed that singing is optional, and also holding a book is optional. Sure most people do it, there may be a slight social pressure for you to join in, but I doubt they'll kick you out if you just close your eyes and focus internally. I've been 4-5 times, never have I bothered with a book or singing, and in fact I actively avoid it. Their bullshit Jesus songs are conflicting with my visions. I'm there to talk to the plant directly, not mumble idiotic superstitions and swear allegiance to Mickey Mouse. That's me at least.
Still very good group and experience, glad I don't have to travel across oceans for my aya 
Yeah I know, they even have mats at the back so you can lie down if you need. Theres no pressure at all to join in, its only really the experienced members sitting around the table who have a responsibility to keep singing and playing the instruments etc. but I've even seen some of them going to the back to vomit or lie down. My last ceremony was a dancing one, and after the first cup, the guy next to me just stood there with his eyes closed for about 2 hours. I just kept doing the same 4 step dance for 6 hours straight, even when the songs had stopped, I kept doing it lol.
The content of the songs seemed completely out of sync with my visions too. My experiences had this alien, shamanic theme to them, there was nothing even slightly similar to a christian theme to them. However I couldn't understand a word they were saying, one of my friends could understand Portuguese relatively well and said that the words of the songs often resonanted with what she was going through.
The last ceremony I did was a celebration for Padrinho Sebastião and they had a picture of him on the table:
 and it was mind bendingly trippy, there were these patterns coming out of his head, and was staring right at me with this intense, soul piercing gaze, he looked way more like a jungle shaman than a Christian to me. I later found out that it was him that wrote all these songs originally.
-------------------- …...,~__________________, ,. ….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank. …..), —.(_(__) / ….// (..)),```` …//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world! .//__/
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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I for one have very little patience for the Christian content in the Aya ceremonies. If anything, my visions told me that this is a good way to do it:
 Minus the human sacrifice and violence of course, but definitely some naked skin, some color, paints and/or feathers, and get some proper action going. Maybe a bit more lightweight on the decorations, to allow flowing and dancing. As for the space to do it in, see Damanhur. See Psy festivals, neon mega-totems to dance around at night. That's how I'd do it at least.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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