|
Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
|
Sexual Incompatibility
#18925409 - 10/03/13 11:22 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
So, after 5+ years of being with my boyfriend, I'm slowly coming to the realization that we're more than likely just not sexually compatible.
I want to be totally and completely dominated and that just isn't who he is as a person. I can understand because likewise if someone wanted me to dominate them, I don't think I would be able to just conjure that up for them. It isn't who I am either.
It just really saddens me because I love him so much but lately my thoughts are just consumed with wondering if I'm going to go the rest of my life without having any of my desires fulfilled.
I love him and I don't want to leave him simply because of the sex. I mean we do have sex and it is enjoyable, but it has gotten somewhat repetitive and I feel like I could be so much more turned on and into it than I am right now, and likewise with him.
He has said that he thinks that maybe over time he could become more comfortable with being dominant, but I don't know. This is something I have been bringing up to him for several months now, and almost every time we have sex I end up having to tell him what to do, because its like he has just forgotten. I feel like he should have grasped the concept of what I am looking for by now and that if he hasn't already, it's pretty futile for me to keep trying.
One thing he has mentioned, is that every time we have sex, he feels like I am rattling off a list of chores for him to do, which is a turn off. I don't literally go down a list and say "I want you to do this and this and this"--no, it isn't like that at all IMO. I do mention several things during a session or whatever, but not all at one time. But if I don't verbally tell him what I want, I don't know how else to get him to do it. He asked me to maybe limit my requests to one thing at a time so that he doesn't feel like he has a list of chores to do. I feel like that's just fucking silly. For instance, if I want him to get on top of me and pin me down, that's cool, but if I also want my breasts to be grabbed and squeezed so hard that it almost hurts, but not quite, then oh, that's too much? Or if I want him to talk dirty to me while he's doing those things, nope, that's another demand, and has to wait until next time? What, I only get one wild card per sex session? I just don't fucking understand and it is frustrating me to the point of tears. Why can't he grasp what I want and just do it? Why should I have to show him one thing at a time and hope that maybe eventually he'll put it all together? Can a person really be that clueless? I've told him and shown him countless times but he just doesn't seem to get it. He's had months to put it all together now and he still doesn't do it.
He's also said that when he's on top of me/being rough with me/whatever, that he has to concentrate really hard on not cumming, which kind of takes the fun out of it for him. Maybe I'm the stupid one here and maybe there's something that I'm not getting, but I know just from reading this forum that there are plenty of guys who like to dominate their girls, and enjoy it. Are you guys constantly focusing on not cumming? I want him to actually relax and enjoy the sex, not be constantly worrying about whether or not he is going to cum. Is this a problem that all guys have but is just never talked about? How do some of you go at it for hours without cumming? Or do you cum multiple times? And if you do, how do you maintain the energy and desire to continue having sex after you've came? I feel like once my boyfriend cums, that's it. He's out like a light and he's not going to be exerting any energy to get it back up again, which is kind of a turn off for me because it makes me feel like I'm somehow inadequate at getting it up for him. There's only so long I can suck on a limp cock/stroke it/etc before I start thinking well, this just isn't going to happen again, and then at that point I just give up.
We're also each other's first and only sexual partners. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong and maybe I am the one that's the problem. I've also tried asking him what his turn ons are and such, and its like he just doesn't have any. The only thing that turns him on, according to him, is for direct attention to be given to his cock. I don't know, but it just blows my mind. Men are visual creatures, so shouldn't looking at me turn him on? If I dress up in some sexy outfit for him, which I love to do, shouldn't that do anything at all? I just thought that most people had some kind of fetish or something special that they liked that turned them on. I've never heard of someone saying that the only thing that really gets them going is to have their cock touched. I mean that's a no brainer, of course physical stimulation is going to turn someone on. I can't see how a guy wouldn't get hard by having his cock stroked, unless it was a hideously ugly woman, or some kind of rape situation or something, I don't know.
From what I have already mentioned, is there anything that I can do differently? Am I being insensitive? Too demanding? Too impatient?
Have any of you ever been in a similar situation and if you were, what did you do that worked for you?
I'm feeling pretty hopeless about this whole thing.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
|
Nabuca
Stranger



Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 306
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925433 - 10/03/13 11:32 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It takes time. I was uncomfortable being rough with women during sex, but now, especially with my last ex, she was getting dominated hard all the time.
While I've had issues a time or two where I couldn't help coming, usually when we tried something new that was a big turn on, I found the opposite was the way to deal with. That is, don't concentrate on anything. I try to just clear my mind, because thinking about what was going on, or cumming, or not cumming, would just make me get off faster. I put my mind into what I wanted her to feel, and blanked out what I was feeling, and have literally been able to keep it up for over 90 minutes this way.
There are also different activities you can do to help. Not sure how rough or dom you go, but I find some activities are a workout, and I almost don't have time to think about coming in the middle. Makes it bigger when I get to the end and can let go. The anticipation builds, so to speak.
All of this is super generic, obviously, since I don't really know your specific situation, and don't want to end up cluttering your thread with examples that sound like BDSM porn. Haha.
--------------------

|
Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925444 - 10/03/13 11:37 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Not sure Ball, but , if you are still having these thoughts after 5 years, perhaps it is time to change things up a little....not saying change partners. But, if he has premature ejac probs...perhaps bring some toys into the game...maybe then, he could concentrate more on pleasing you without any penetration. Honestly, he may enjoy this himself as turning a partner on from a male perspective is very satisfying.Then, when you have achieved your Shangrala...he can finish himself.....win/win
Sounds like you really love the guy and that, to me means a shit ton.That has always been the basis for my most mutually satisfying sex. Good luck and
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
|
Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
|
|
Quote:
Nabuca said: It takes time. I was uncomfortable being rough with women during sex, but now, especially with my last ex, she was getting dominated hard all the time.
Yes, and that isn't the first time I have read/heard that, about the guy just not feeling comfortable being rough with a girl for being afraid of hurting her or going too far, etc. But I've told him so many times that if he goes to far or hurts me, I will let him know. I'm not going to just burst into a fit of tears after its over and done with and start bawling about how he hurt me. I WANT to relinquish the power and control to him and I trust him. I just don't know how else to make him see that. I guess like you said, its going to take time and there's nothing else I can really do that will help.
Quote:
Nabuca said: While I've had issues a time or two where I couldn't help coming, usually when we tried something new that was a big turn on, I found the opposite was the way to deal with. That is, don't concentrate on anything. I try to just clear my mind, because thinking about what was going on, or cumming, or not cumming, would just make me get off faster. I put my mind into what I wanted her to feel, and blanked out what I was feeling, and have literally been able to keep it up for over 90 minutes this way.
That sounds like a good idea to try, and I'll definitely suggest that to him. I honestly don't know if he has the physical stamina to continue going at it for that long. Because you're right, sex is a workout and when he is on top of me or another position where he's the one doing the most of the work, there comes a point where he just gives out and has to take a break. I understand that, and I certainly don't want him to just pass out on top of me or something haha.
But every time we have to take a break like that, it just prolongs my own orgasm because it takes a long time for me to get off. I can only get off in a very specific way, and that is by grinding my clit hard against something. I would love to be able to get off in other ways, and I got VERY close once to having a g-spot orgasm, but it took a long time of him just fucking me over and over in a certain position, and every time since then that we have tried, he has gave out physically before I even got close to cumming. 
Quote:
baltimark said: Not sure Ball, but , if you are still having these thoughts after 5 years, perhaps it is time to change things up a little....not saying change partners. But, if he has premature ejac probs...perhaps bring some toys into the game...maybe then, he could concentrate more on pleasing you without any penetration. Honestly, he may enjoy this himself as turning a partner on from a male perspective is very satisfying.Then, when you have achieved your Shangrala...he can finish himself.....win/win
Toys are something we've actually never used, so that's definitely another idea that I will consider. I've also considered getting him a cock ring to maybe help prolong his ejaculation. He just doesn't seem too gung ho about any of that kind of stuff whenever I bring it up, so I kind of just put it on the backburner thinking it wouldn't matter either way, since he didn't seem too enthusiastic. Honestly though, I don't think it would do much for him or turn him on to give me any pleasure. He hates any kind of teasing. He doesn't like kissing. He doesn't like to take his time and be sensual and touch me all over. He says foreplay bores him and just tortures him because he's hard and ready to go and I'm not yet. So I don't know, I kind of feel like your suggestion about toys might backfire for that reason. 
I think there's a lot more going on than just the fact that he doesn't want to be dominant towards me, like him not being turned on by seeing me getting turned on. I don't know, I just can't grasp the concept. I thought this was how guys are. I thought looking at women turned them on. I thought touching them and playing with them and making them wet turned them on. I've never heard of a guy who just plain out hated foreplay. Maybe with a one night stand with some random girl you met at a bar, because you just want to fuck that girl. But with someone who you're emotionally invested in and care about, wouldn't it be a huge turn on to see THEM being turned on by something that you are doing to them? Ugh, I don't know.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925549 - 10/03/13 12:02 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It sounds as if sheer sex drive is part of the issue.
If you bf is able to control when he comes by concentrating, etc., then I tend to think that if he'd simply have more sex, that coming quickly wouldn't be so much of a problem.
And if dominating you makes him need to come, well, it sounds like he gets off on it.
If you'd simply go at it more often, I imagine that you'd both find it more enjoyable.
But it doesn't sound like he's interested in fucking that much.
(I write as someone who both needs to concentrate to hold back orgasm when I'm not "in practice" and as someone who occasionally conks the fuck out right after sex.)
|
EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
|
|
Take it from a man, stop telling him what to do in the bed verbally. Get him a bit drunk and tell him to have his way with you. Get his confidence up in the sack, and get him familiar with getting rough without you telling him what to do. Let him explore a bit.
If this doesn't bring out his dominating side, then my services can be made available.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925698 - 10/03/13 12:40 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said: He's also said that when he's on top of me/being rough with me/whatever, that he has to concentrate really hard on not cumming, which kind of takes the fun out of it for him. Maybe I'm the stupid one here and maybe there's something that I'm not getting, but I know just from reading this forum that there are plenty of guys who like to dominate their girls, and enjoy it. Are you guys constantly focusing on not cumming? I want him to actually relax and enjoy the sex, not be constantly worrying about whether or not he is going to cum. Is this a problem that all guys have but is just never talked about? How do some of you go at it for hours without cumming?
Most guys are not pornstars. The average length of penetrative sex is around 5 minutes. Being on top is by far the most difficult position for me as well because as you are thrusting it is much harder to relax the pelvic floor muscles which is what you need to do to avoid cumming. He could practice kegels / reverse kegels and towel raises. That will certainly help, as will practice (more sex). Don't expect him to become a pornstar who can go for hours without cumming though. That is just not realistic for the vast majority of men.
|
koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,406
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 4 minutes
|
|
You should call Dan Savage and leave a message for him to answer on his podcast. This question is right up his alley, and then we could hear your voice! I know other shroomerites have had their questions answered that way.
Here's the number: 206-201-2720
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
|
Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
|
|
Sounds like you guys need to spice it up outside of the bed room. Go on a hot date and do something fun and exciting and maybe even a little bit naughty. Sounds like he is bored and doesn't care
--------------------

|
EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Ballerium said: He's also said that when he's on top of me/being rough with me/whatever, that he has to concentrate really hard on not cumming, which kind of takes the fun out of it for him. Maybe I'm the stupid one here and maybe there's something that I'm not getting, but I know just from reading this forum that there are plenty of guys who like to dominate their girls, and enjoy it. Are you guys constantly focusing on not cumming? I want him to actually relax and enjoy the sex, not be constantly worrying about whether or not he is going to cum. Is this a problem that all guys have but is just never talked about? How do some of you go at it for hours without cumming?
Most guys are not pornstars. The average length of penetrative sex is around 5 minutes. Being on top is by far the most difficult position for me as well because as you are thrusting it is much harder to relax the pelvic floor muscles which is what you need to do to avoid cumming. He could practice kegels / reverse kegels and towel raises. That will certainly help, as will practice (more sex). Don't expect him to become a pornstar who can go for hours without cumming though. That is just not realistic for the vast majority of men.
Kegels are awesome, you can bust a load so far.
Also, if a guy is worried about coming too earlier, get her off first, much it or get the clit and gspot going with youur hands. That way she is happy, and you are less nervous about busting quick. And if you do bust quick still. She's already gotten off, youve gotten off, scores tied, and gives you a few minutes to get her off again until youre ready for your round 2.
|
Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: It sounds as if sheer sex drive is part of the issue.
I think it is. I've discussed this with him before and we've basically just come to the conclusion that I have a higher sex drive than he does. We only have sex maybe 3 or 4 times a week. The rest of the time I masturbate, or I'll give him oral and then go get myself off later, because he's "too tired" to have sex. Yet not too tired to receive a blowjob. 
It doesn't help that we are living with my parents, and have been for the majority of the time that we have been together. I don't really want to get into all that because its just financial issues and stuff that we are working on, but I know it is having an effect on our sex life because we can't be spontaneous and have sex whenever we would like. We have to either do it in the morning before either one of us gets up and announces to the household that we are awake or we have to wait until everyone else has gone to bed, and usually it ends up being put off until time for us to go to bed. He's wrapped up in his video games, his reddit, his youtube videos, whatever, and I'm not going to make a fool of myself trying to distract him only to be turned down or told "in a minute". Fuck that shit. If he wants it, he can come and get it, and that's basically my mentality as of late. I realize I need to make an effort and try to let him know that I want sex, but I guess my resentment towards him because of the above mentioned stuff is keeping me from it. If I knew he'd reciprocate, I'd be more likely to initiate.
But all that aside, even when we did move out and get an apartment for about ~6 months, his sex drive didn't suddenly explode because we had freedom. It still remained about the same as it always had been.
Quote:
If you'd simply go at it more often, I imagine that you'd both find it more enjoyable.
Not really. I find that the more often we have sex, the less into it he seems to be. Its as if his appetite has already been satisfied, and he's kind of just there for the ride. I don't want to be a bitch and withhold sex from him, but I find that on the week of my period for instance, when he refuses to have sex with me, that by the time my period is over, he's practically begging for it. I LOVE it when he wants it that bad. I want him to ALWAYS want it that bad, I just don't want to have to go a week without it for it to get to that point.
Quote:
EdibleStereos said: Take it from a man, stop telling him what to do in the bed verbally. Get him a bit drunk and tell him to have his way with you. Get his confidence up in the sack, and get him familiar with getting rough without you telling him what to do. Let him explore a bit.
We've had drunken sex plenty of times, and it doesn't matter if he's sober or not, when I tell him to have his way with me, he doesn't do it. Instead, he asks me what I mean by "have his way with me". That's one of the things that frustrates me so much. I can't relinquish control to him if I'm the one calling the shots. I don't want him asking me "Do you want to change positions now?" or "Do you want this or that?" Sometimes I just want to shake him and scream at him and tell him "I don't fucking care what you do to me, I just want you to do SOMETHING and PLEASE do not ask me what to do!" 
And I have told him that before, in much nicer words. I'd never scream at him over that. But whenever I do tell him that I want him to do whatever he wants, he retorts with "Well if I am going to do what I want to do, then I'm just going to cum in you. Because that's what I want." So its like what the fuck, why are we even having sex at all then.
Another thing regarding alcohol--he's an angry drunk. The last few times he has been drunk have not ended well. It has ended with us getting in arguments, me leaving the room in tears and going to sleep somewhere else because he upset me so much. So I'm honestly a little fearful of trying to get him super drunk. 
I would like to respond to what everyone else said but I have somewhere I have to go so it'll have to wait until I get back. But I appreciate everyone's responses and advice so far.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
|
empty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925882 - 10/03/13 01:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said: And I have told him that before, in much nicer words. I'd never scream at him over that. But whenever I do tell him that I want him to do whatever he wants, he retorts with "Well if I am going to do what I want to do, then I'm just going to cum in you. Because that's what I want." So its like what the fuck, why are we even having sex at all then.
He has no desire to pleasure you, only himself. He doesn't want to pleasure you. He isn't interested.
I think the problem here is not sexual incompatibility. Sexual incompatibility is a symptom of the problem.
I was in a relationship with a girl for 4 1/2 years. The last year grew incredibly stale and we both resented each other on a regular basis. Interactions lessened as they grew less positive. I started spending all of my time distracting myself from my relationship. When we would have sex, she would try to finish me as quickly as possible so she could just be done, no matter how badly I wanted to pleasure her. It just kept going downhill until she left me for my best friend.
I'd suggest that you sit down with your man and have a serious conversation about the future of your relationship.
--------------------
|
pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925892 - 10/03/13 01:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said: And I have told him that before, in much nicer words. I'd never scream at him over that. But whenever I do tell him that I want him to do whatever he wants, he retorts with "Well if I am going to do what I want to do, then I'm just going to cum in you. Because that's what I want." So its like what the fuck, why are we even having sex at all then.
Wow. This right here sounds like crux of ALL of your issues. He sounds like a selfish prick. There's not much you can do if this guy clearly is only EVER thinking about himself.
You say you love him, but your relationship sounds very unhealthy. I think you need to really sit down and evaluate why you are in the relationship at all and why it is you love him. Frankly, it doesn't sound like that love is truly reciprocated.
|
Nabuca
Stranger



Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 306
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925910 - 10/03/13 01:32 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said:
Not really. I find that the more often we have sex, the less into it he seems to be. Its as if his appetite has already been satisfied, and he's kind of just there for the ride. I don't want to be a bitch and withhold sex from him, but I find that on the week of my period for instance, when he refuses to have sex with me, that by the time my period is over, he's practically begging for it. I LOVE it when he wants it that bad. I want him to ALWAYS want it that bad, I just don't want to have to go a week without it for it to get to that point.
If you have the patience for it, you might find that you can train up his tolerance a little by teasing him for an extended time. It was one of the biggest things me and my ex did to help me get to where we finally were happy.
We pretty much went about 3 and a half weeks without me actually getting off. About a dozen times a day she would rub it, or suck it, until I was about to blow, then we would stop cold. I would get her off with me fingers or tongue, then she would repeat but stop before I finished.
It seems counter intuitive at first, because the teasing will make him eager to get off...but after the first couple weeks, it instead started to push my tolerance way up. I could get hard longer, no matter what was going on, probably because I was used to not finishing. It also had the added effect of me going wild when we finally decided to finish, and tearing her up all night. I was getting hard longer, but also getting that animalistic lust built up. Towards the end she was cuffing me down to keep me from just taking her when she teased. Mission accomplished.
--------------------

|
psyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18925935 - 10/03/13 01:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i think your understandably upset. it sounds like he just doesnt have much of a sex drive at all like others has pointed out. Two specific things i wanted to mention though, as far as him having to concentrate on not cumming, its not really that un common. sometimes my girl will start teasing me the second we wake up and not actually do anything to get me off until late that night just to be a tease and get me really worked up (i love it haha) and by the time we do start things i have to concentrate alot to not cum right away. In most situations though and hour to an hour and a half is normal. And someone mentioned for you to not tell him what to do, i would disagree (though obviously it comes down to personal preference with the two of you), i actually like when my girl screams out in pleasuring telling me what to do. It shows how much she really wants it and that turns me on a lot. I'm also usually extremely dominant with her and this doesnt create an issue. But then again im not asking her what she wants, i'll have my way and if theres something she want i'll make her beg for it 
But many others have pointed out that it honestly seems like he just doesn't care about getting you off. And i am not trying to be an ass, thats just really how is seems unfortunately. i think its best advised that you sit down and have a serious conversation about your relationship
-------------------- Think for yourself, question authority
|
EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
|
|
Yeah, with the new information ill agree, doesnt seem like any sexually compatibility will come.
Are you hot OP?
Damn, that guy is a sucker though, having a woman tell him do whatever he wants and he doesnt capitalize on that. Those were always the funnest times.
|
Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: pwnasaurus]
#18925991 - 10/03/13 01:51 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
Ballerium said: And I have told him that before, in much nicer words. I'd never scream at him over that. But whenever I do tell him that I want him to do whatever he wants, he retorts with "Well if I am going to do what I want to do, then I'm just going to cum in you. Because that's what I want." So its like what the fuck, why are we even having sex at all then.
Wow. This right here sounds like crux of ALL of your issues. He sounds like a selfish prick. There's not much you can do if this guy clearly is only EVER thinking about himself.
You say you love him, but your relationship sounds very unhealthy. I think you need to really sit down and evaluate why you are in the relationship at all and why it is you love him. Frankly, it doesn't sound like that love is truly reciprocated.
Yeah this. Ballerium you already know what you have to do..
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
|
koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,406
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 4 minutes
|
|
Quote:
tymoteusz3 said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
Ballerium said: And I have told him that before, in much nicer words. I'd never scream at him over that. But whenever I do tell him that I want him to do whatever he wants, he retorts with "Well if I am going to do what I want to do, then I'm just going to cum in you. Because that's what I want." So its like what the fuck, why are we even having sex at all then.
Wow. This right here sounds like crux of ALL of your issues. He sounds like a selfish prick. There's not much you can do if this guy clearly is only EVER thinking about himself.
You say you love him, but your relationship sounds very unhealthy. I think you need to really sit down and evaluate why you are in the relationship at all and why it is you love him. Frankly, it doesn't sound like that love is truly reciprocated.
Yeah this. Ballerium you already know what you have to do..
I dunno. He may be feeling emasculated, and saying stuff like that because he is overly sensitive.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
|
Me_Roy
Stranger
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 3,230
|
Re: Sexual Incompatibility [Re: Ballerium]
#18926009 - 10/03/13 01:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: It sounds as if sheer sex drive is part of the issue.
I think it is. I've discussed this with him before and we've basically just come to the conclusion that I have a higher sex drive than he does. We only have sex maybe 3 or 4 times a week. The rest of the time I masturbate, or I'll give him oral and then go get myself off later, because he's "too tired" to have sex. Yet not too tired to receive a blowjob. 
You might want to withhold those BJs to avoid diminishing his sex drive w/o anything in it for you.
|
psyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
|
|
Quote:
EdibleStereos said: Yeah, with the new information ill agree, doesnt seem like any sexually compatibility will come.
Are you hot OP?
Damn, that guy is a sucker though, having a woman tell him do whatever he wants and he doesnt capitalize on that. Those were always the funnest times. 
check out the sexy ladies thread. Ball is VERY hot that guy doesnt know what he's missing out on
-------------------- Think for yourself, question authority
|
|