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Anonymous #1
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I'm a Cactus Thief, AMA
#18924301 - 10/03/13 02:29 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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So, I wanted some san pedro cactus to try, and to grow. I am sure as hell not paying $10 a foot for cuttings online, so I hit google street view to look for some. I find a big stand of it growing in the front yard of a house in a neighboring city. I go over to my friends' apartment, have a few beers, extoll the virtues of hallucinogenic cacti, and next thing I know we're on the freeway heading to the house. I'm behind the wheel, with two friends in the back. One wields a buck knife, the other a machete. We roll up on the house quiet like, so as not to spook our quarry. Both friends launch out of the SUV and attack the fucking cactus, two big sections fall in one machete swing, while the other guy saws through it with the knife. I just can't stop thinking, "holy shit this is happening right now". Funniest thing I've seen in my life, they both come running back to the car with several logs, and one impaled on the machete held overhead. Cactus thrown in the back, everyone piles in and we take off. I verified the species of trichocereus we harvested, definitely san pedro. The whole operation probably took less than twenty seconds. That cactus never knew what hit it.
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Anonymous #2
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Fuck you, plant thieves are assholes. How about asking the owner for a cutting next time, or maybe growing your own.
Do you mind if I come over to your house and steal some shit simply because I want it?
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Anonymous #1
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Strong reaction! probably deserved. In my defense, they seemed to be over the city property line outside their fence, and had been cut down to stumps only about a foot tall sometime in the past couple years. Asking would have been best, but it seemed like a good idea at the time! not saying I was justified, simply saying I am reasonably sure the owners of the property probably never noticed or cared.
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Anonymous #3
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Yeah, kind of big asshole move.
Cactus takes a quite some time to grow, and you just vandalized and stole someones property.
couldnt you use street view to find it not at someones home?
Also, jumping out of a vehicle and running towards someones home in the middle of the night brandishing knives is a good way to get shot.
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Strong reaction! probably deserved. In my defense, they seemed to be over the city property line outside their fence, and had been cut down to stumps only about a foot tall sometime in the past couple years. Asking would have been best, but it seemed like a good idea at the time! not saying I was justified, simply saying I am reasonably sure the owners of the property probably never noticed or cared.
Sorry, it's a shitty thing to do. You don't know the owner's intention, and whether it was a prized specimen or just a random grow. As a grower of exotic plants, including unique tricho hybrids, I would be totally pissed if someone took some cuts... but on the other hand if a genuine person approached me with an interest to take a sample I would try and oblige.
If you enjoy the mescaline experience, how about growing your own ? Within a few years you can multiply your collection rapidly, and its very satisfying to know that your taking psychedelics that you have grown and prepared through your own time and effort. Plus, theres no bad karma.
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Anonymous #4
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May the cactus spirit give you many bad trips for stealing.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: May the cactus spirit give you many bad trips for stealing.
Lmao! Agreed
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: May the cactus spirit give you many bad trips for stealing.
Lmao! Agreed
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Anonymous #7
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Cactus thieves are beneath contempt.
You have vandalized something that will take a decade to grow back and never will have the same shape again. You might was well saw down someones pear tree.
Despicable.
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Anonymous #8
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dirtbag
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Anonymous #9
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I'm a bit lacking in morals at times. Good job on planning that cactus caper. Better than junkies mugging someone for a fix.
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Anonymous #10
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OP
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Anonymous #11
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I hope you catch catch genital warts.. Quote:
Anonymous #9 said: I'm a bit lacking in morals at times. Good job on planning that cactus caper. Better than junkies mugging someone for a fix.
A junkie robs you, takes all of a couple of days to replace the couple hundred bucks they got off you.. Try replacing the damage this idiot caused in 2 days, especially when cactus grows so slow to begin with.
How is this better than a junkie robbing someone?
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Anonymous #12
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LOL YOU GO OP, lmfaoo at these butthurt people, its fucking cactus ? who hoe big fucking woop you cut their cactus, i honestly cant believe you guys are flaming someone for cutting cactus, oh no that persons life is over because of some cactus being cut down, grow the fuck up man, home invasion and armed robbery are things to cry about not some 5 year old cactus that was stolen ROFL whata bunch of pussys man !!!! as for OP i had a great fucking laugh at the details you provided felt like i was there with my homies haha i can relate after watching this video me and some buddies decided to go cactus hunting whata night that was lol, but on a real note i seriously cant believe you guys are this butthurt over some cactus when there are so many other atrocities being committed in the states, ha your little sister is a whore, how does that make you feel ?
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Anonymous #13
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I stole san pedro from a nursery in high school. then I worked there for a year. Karma balanced motherfuckers
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Anonymous #3
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Quote:
Anonymous #12 said: LOL YOU GO OP, lmfaoo at these butthurt people, its fucking cactus ? who hoe big fucking woop you cut their cactus, i honestly cant believe you guys are flaming someone for cutting cactus, oh no that persons life is over because of some cactus being cut down, grow the fuck up man, home invasion and armed robbery are things to cry about not some 5 year old cactus that was stolen ROFL whata bunch of pussys man !!!! as for OP i had a great fucking laugh at the details you provided felt like i was there with my homies haha i can relate after watching this video me and some buddies decided to go cactus hunting whata night that was lol, but on a real note i seriously cant believe you guys are this butthurt over some cactus when there are so many other atrocities being committed in the states, ha your little sister is a whore, how does that make you feel ?
Yeah, there are worse things going on in the world. So why make it worse by being a dick to others?
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Anonymous #14
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i wouldve traded you a cutting for spores or something. For real thou, $10?? thats really low and such a cheap cost. Get a job OP
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Anonymous #12
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Honestly how is that a bad thing ? Jesus man it was put on this earth to be used not admired for decades and decades thats like having a really nice classic car and having it sit in your garage to rot, yall twisted man
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Anonymous #11
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Okay and if it was OP's property he'd have the right to make the choice to consume it rather than look at it. It wasn't and he didn't. Thieves are fucking scum. Doesn't matter if it's 2 dollars or 200.. They're fucking scum.
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Anonymous #15
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: Okay and if it was OP's property he'd have the right to make the choice to consume it rather than look at it. It wasn't and he didn't. Thieves are fucking scum. Doesn't matter if it's 2 dollars or 200.. They're fucking scum.
Yup. Along with anonymous #12. You guys are garbage.
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Anonymous #12
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i am garbage, your right i will steal from you anytime anyday anywhere, so hide yo kids hide yo wife and hide yourself fuckboy
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Anonymous #15
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at least you know it and own it.
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Anonymous #12
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Anonymous #16
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Anonymous #17
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I hate dirt bags like you who think it's okay to steal, it's such an apish/savage thing to do, couldn't of you just rang the guys door bell and asked him like a civilized human being and if you can't afford a ten dollar cutting then you should be working on making a resume so that you can get a job, instead of drinking and robbing people like a bunch of hood rats.
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Anonymous #12
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hey man, honestly ive come to realize that "hoodrats" are far more loyal then a "civilized human being" i wonder how many times your wife cheated on you ? or how many times your best bud fucked you over, i never make any sense so i don't really care but a great human being once said True Friends stab you in the Front
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Anonymous #15
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Quote:
Anonymous #12 said: hey man, honestly ive come to realize that "hoodrats" are far more loyal then a "civilized human being" i wonder how many times your wife cheated on you ? or how many times your best bud fucked you over, i never make any sense so i don't really care but a great human being once said True Friends stab you in the Front
I feel like thats something garbage would say to itself to justify being garbage.
Anyways OP how was the trip from the stolen plant?
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous #15 said: Anyways OP how was the trip from the stolen plant?
OP doesn't understand the identification keys for cacti, and actually stole a non-active that has poisoned him and his mates.
Rest in peace, ya fucking crook.
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Anonymous #8
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #15 said: Anyways OP how was the trip from the stolen plant?
OP doesn't understand the identification keys for cacti, and actually stole a non-active that has poisoned him and his mates.
Rest in peace, ya fucking crook.
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Anonymous #18
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*Goes Outside and checks if Cactai are still there*
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Anonymous #19
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I would have shot you
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Anonymous #20
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You bastard! You're the one who stole my cactus?!??
I'm going to the mods, and I'm getting your fucking account and IP, pal.
On a more serious note, #12 sounds like a pretty big douche.
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Anonymous #19
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#12 just wants attention positive or negative, I am lead to think
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Anonymous #21
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Quote:
Anonymous #19 said: #12 just wants attention positive or negative, I am lead to think
probably sheekle
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Anonymous #22
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Fucking hilarious. YOu probably spent $10 worth of time and gas getting those cuttings. Get a job scrub
Edited by Anonymous (10/09/13 12:29 PM)
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Anonymous #23
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i wanna hear part 2
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Anonymous #24
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Quote:
Anonymous #21 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #19 said: #12 just wants attention positive or negative, I am lead to think
probably sheekle
I dont think you can flush that much cacti down the toilet
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Anonymous #25
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: May the cactus spirit give you many bad trips for stealing.
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Anonymous #7
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Its not just stealing its permanently defacing someones view or even property.
Cactus thieves are the lowest of the low.
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Anonymous #26
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Somebody stole my cactus !
Wait, why would aybody steal a cactus? I'm confused now.
Edited by Anonymous (10/13/13 05:50 PM)
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Anonymous #27
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ive done this a few times
it grows so much around here that i dont even take it out of someones yard
i just take it off the side of the road
no one cares
i might even replant cuttings
deal with it you jealous fucks
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Anonymous #28
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I don't care too much that you stole someone's cactus as it would be very hypocritical of me to scold you. However, I would have literally got a hard on if I saw some douchebags yielding a machete and knives on my property as I literally would have mowed you down with my AR and been completely justified. Would have been stupid as hell to die over a fukin cactus.
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Anonymous #27
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so you would kill someone for cutting a plant down in your yard
intense
looks like your just looking for a reason to use the gun
you are a sick person
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Anonymous #17
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Quote:
Anonymous #27 said: so you would kill someone for cutting a plant down in your yard
intense
looks like your just looking for a reason to use the gun
you are a sick person
So you're telling me you wouldnt shoot at a group of people running towards your house at night holding a giant knife
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Anonymous #11
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I wouldn't get a hard on because "I'm finally going to get to shoot someone".. If I felt that me or my family were in danger, I'd fire off a warning shot and if they kept charging, yeah I'd probably shoot them.
28's attitude towards the situation is disturbing.
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Anonymous #29
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I was literally going to post a similar thread and found this. Ha.
I've stolen small cuttings of cacti from many a store. All of those asset protection guys have their cameras pointed toward the electronics section. Nobody even seems to think someone would steal a plant. I've done it in plain view of employees and the don't give a fuck.
Once my girlfriend and I thought it would be fun to start a succulent garden. So we stuffed our pockets full of sedums and echeveria and such from several stores. It was great fun and the pot was overflowing with attractive plants.
I've also done some stealing of cacti from my town. Sometimes I got permission, but usually I just took what I wanted. Nothing hallucinagenic. Just prickly pears and such to use for grafting. So I don't really feel like a jerk for taking a cutting every now and then.
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Anonymous #28
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Quote:
Anonymous #27 said: so you would kill someone for cutting a plant down in your yard
intense
looks like your just looking for a reason to use the gun
you are a sick person
Yeah because I would automatically assume multiple people weilding machetes and knives approaching my property are just there to steal my plants and not cause me or my family very real danger. While you are firing your warning shots, I'll be shooting at the maniacs with machetes.
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Anonymous #11
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And apparently getting a hard a on because you finally get to shoot someone.
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Anonymous #28
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: And apparently getting a hard a on because you finally get to shoot someone.
Yes. Stop being a faggot. And why are you putting in quotes something that was never said, making it seem like I said it? Very dishonest of you. I would probably shoot you too for this transgression, as well.
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Anonymous #11
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The part in quotes is the mentality you're giving off..
You're just waiting for an excuse to shoot someone, that says a lot about you as a person. The only thing holding you back from killing someone is the law? That's fucked up.
If this isn't your mentality, then why would you get a hard on at the sight of a bunch of people in your yard with machetes which you said would legally justify you shooting them?
Edited by Anonymous (10/24/13 10:20 PM)
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Anonymous #27
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28 you are fucked up
getting a boner from killing someone...
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Anonymous #10
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Bad vibes in here bros, killing n mschetes and shit
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous #28 said:And why are you putting in quotes something that was never said, making it seem like I said it? Very dishonest of you. I would probably shoot you too for this transgression, as well.
You clearly stated that it would give you a hard on to have a chance to shoot someone......
Quote:
Anonymous #28 said:I would have literally got a hard on if I saw some douchebags yielding a machete and knives on my property as I literally would have mowed you down with my AR and been completely justified.
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Anonymous #27
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lol
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Anonymous #30
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Quote:
Anonymous #28 said: I don't care too much that you stole someone's cactus as it would be very hypocritical of me to scold you. However, I would have literally got a hard on if I saw some douchebags yielding a machete and knives on my property as I literally would have mowed you down with my AR and been completely justified. Would have been stupid as hell to die over a fukin cactus.
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Anonymous #28
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Quote:
Anonymous #30 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #28 said: I don't care too much that you stole someone's cactus as it would be very hypocritical of me to scold you. However, I would have literally got a hard on if I saw some douchebags yielding a machete and knives on my property as I literally would have mowed you down with my AR and been completely justified. Would have been stupid as hell to die over a fukin cactus.

Do you have this months issue?
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Anonymous #30
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This months issue of Internet Tough Guy Quarterly is currently in the final editing process...they just need to get a picture of you with your AR looking all badass so they can use it for the cover graphic.
Can you send them one so they can get the issue completed?
Thank you for your cooperation.
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Anonymous #28
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Quote:
Anonymous #30 said: This months issue of Internet Tough Guy Quarterly is currently in the final editing process...they just need to get a picture of you with your AR looking all badass so they can use it for the cover graphic.
Can you send them one so they can get the issue completed?
Thank you for your cooperation.
Can I just give it to your disgusting whore mother before she leaves my house. You know, since she sucks my gigantic penis and all.
Let me know sweet pea!
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Anonymous #11
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You're supposed to be 18 to sign up here..
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Anonymous #31
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 My first plant I ever grew was stolen from me. The damn idiots uprooted it before it was even ready . Fucking hairs were still white ...  Stealing is bad m'kay
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Anonymous #32
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Are you seriously so cheap you won't pay ten bucks for some cutting? Jesus, I can't think of any girl who would want to date you.
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Anonymous #27
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im good at saving money
and if i steal enough, who knows maybe ill open up shop
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Anonymous #33
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.
Edited by Anonymous (12/20/14 04:32 AM)
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Anonymous #27
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im just playin, im not gonna sell them
and honestly i never get cacti anymore
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Anonymous #34
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and im guessing he was looking for a "Hahha nice one man! you got balls!" you desserve a  
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Anonymous #35
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Just wanted to say OP is a huge sack of shit whom I hope gets mutilated with a scalpel at some point in his life.
If anyone ever laid a finger on one of my caci there would be tremendous amounts of bloodshed
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Anonymous #36
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: Okay and if it was OP's property he'd have the right to make the choice to consume it rather than look at it. It wasn't and he didn't. Thieves are fucking scum. Doesn't matter if it's 2 dollars or 200.. They're fucking scum.
factuall
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Anonymous #37
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lmao OP cant afford a $10 cactus and instead goes and destroys something that someone may have had great pride in growing. It takes decades to grow those things! Ill admit the story was kinda funny but OP u are teh fail, broke ass scrub, and a gay virgin.
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:

Edited by Anonymous (11/10/13 04:23 PM)
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Anonymous #27
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bunch of cry babies
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Anonymous #37
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Quote:
Anonymous #27 said:

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Anonymous #38
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I hate plant thieves (rippers). I can say at least you left the stump so it will continue to grow. Nothing pisses me off more than when the rootbase is stolen as well.
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Anonymous #38
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I hate plant thieves (rippers). I can say at least you left the stump so it will continue to grow. Nothing pisses me off more than when the rootbase is stolen as well and you have to start over completely.
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Anonymous #2
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It's all good, OP is long gone from this thread so I guess that means he misidentified the cacti and died of poisoning !
Yay! Rot in hell, cactus thief
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Anonymous #27
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no deadly san pedro look alikes brah
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Anonymous #12
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yall some major ass FUCKING PUSSIES lmfaooo so hard how old are you guys 12 no mommy no mommy mommy someone stole a cactus from my garden ... GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS YOU CRY BABY BITCHES, geez i wonder if you guys are the women in a relationship PUSSYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!! BAHAHHAHAAAAA if any of the girls i knew or know saw how you guys are crying over this subject youd be put into the gay club HAHAHAHAAHA
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Anonymous #12
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straight fucking PATHETIC MAN
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Anonymous #11
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Odd how you question if everyone else is 12 when you're the one to give a post that you would expect from a 12 year old.
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Anonymous #19
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: Odd how you question if everyone else is 12 when you're the one to give a post that you would expect from a 12 year old.
while simultaneously being anonymous #12
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Anonymous #2
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Anon #12, what's your address, Ima come over and steal some of your momma's sweet ass while she sleeps.
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Anonymous #34
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hahaha! look at you mate, your a joke buddy, quit acting like a hard cunt bruzzy.
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Anonymous #39
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Cactus thieving certainly isn't a contender for crime of the century, so IDK, not really a big deal.
But the fact that OP is such a bum that he can't even shell out 10 or 20 bucks for a cutting -- lolololololol.
Dude sounds like a real winner.
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Anonymous #40
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: So, I wanted some san pedro cactus to try, and to grow. I am sure as hell not paying $10 a foot for cuttings online, so I hit google street view to look for some. I find a big stand of it growing in the front yard of a house in a neighboring city. I go over to my friends' apartment, have a few beers, extoll the virtues of hallucinogenic cacti, and next thing I know we're on the freeway heading to the house. I'm behind the wheel, with two friends in the back. One wields a buck knife, the other a machete. We roll up on the house quiet like, so as not to spook our quarry. Both friends launch out of the SUV and attack the fucking cactus, two big sections fall in one machete swing, while the other guy saws through it with the knife. I just can't stop thinking, "holy shit this is happening right now". Funniest thing I've seen in my life, they both come running back to the car with several logs, and one impaled on the machete held overhead. Cactus thrown in the back, everyone piles in and we take off. I verified the species of trichocereus we harvested, definitely san pedro. The whole operation probably took less than twenty seconds. That cactus never knew what hit it.
You're a good writer. You should do something with that.
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Anonymous #35
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Quote:
Anonymous #12 said: yall some major ass FUCKING PUSSIES lmfaooo so hard how old are you guys 12 no mommy no mommy mommy someone stole a cactus from my garden ... GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS YOU CRY BABY BITCHES, geez i wonder if you guys are the women in a relationship PUSSYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!! BAHAHHAHAAAAA if any of the girls i knew or know saw how you guys are crying over this subject youd be put into the gay club HAHAHAHAAHA
Im sure Id rather be castrated than let your type of "women" get anywhere near my penis..
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Anonymous #37
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#12 is definitely a gay underaged virigin along with OP
Edited by Anonymous (11/11/13 10:47 AM)
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Anonymous #12
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pussy's pussies and more pussy's puss puss meow meow meow pus pus puss
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Anonymous #11
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An admin should unanon 12 and ban him for being an underage poster.. There's no way he's over 18.
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