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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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All I know is that ads on fileshare sites used to just flash titties. Now they have full-on hardcore gifs in my face when I'm trying to find a new album. I, for one, welcome the decline of our civilization.
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OpenQwerty
Stranger



Registered: 08/05/10
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: Middleman]
#18916191 - 10/01/13 01:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I still disagree with the hypothesis of the existence of any link between porn addiction and it's claimed negative effects. Of course, I'm not a sociologist , but as of now I didn't know any ( wide enough) statistic and comparative study between (for example) the sexual life of the (average) people that don't watch porn and the sexual life of the (average) people who do it.
The article in the huffingtonpost quoted by MarkostheGnostic, as well as other similar articles, simply show that there are people that feel their porn addiction as negative and that they are trying to stop it. The claimed benefit are only based on their feeling, and we can also easily observe that in a field where the “sense of guilt” (justified or not) is often overwhelming ...every “way out” will lead to benefits, but I suppose that it's caused by the feeling linked to the action, not by the action “by itself”.
I can admit that: a) if you are not able to discern between reality and fantasy ...watching porn is not for you; b) if you are used to masturbate more than 2 times at day ...you may have a problem; and c) if you “feel yourself guilty” when you watch porn and/or when you masturbate, maybe it's better to stop.
I'm also open to admit that the 99% of the pornography is bullshit and so on, but …for to reply directly to the quoted article:
a) There is not a demonstrable cause-effect connection between porn addiction and depression and/or anxiety and/or other psychological problems(as long as you don't “feel yourself guilty” of your habits).
b)To find a (worthy) partner may be difficult, doesn't matter if you watch porn or not.
c)The quality of sex in a relationship is not closely relate to your porn addiction. Other factors have a greater impact (of course, as long as you are not absolutely exhausted from your solitary activities).
d)If we are talking about people without other psychological problems...it's quite hard (at least: for me) to imagine a situation where the porn addiction of a person “make a big difference” in his/her life.
Now I would like to add something else: in the course of history the definition of “what is pornography and what is not”, is continuously changed. Even the feeling related to masturbation are changed (and are still changing).
My point is: we should avoid summary judgments in a field where it's really difficult to find “ empirical facts”... And where every inquiry will -at the best- only give us a photograph of a phenomenon, not its analysis.
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: OpenQwerty]
#18917002 - 10/01/13 04:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I agree most of the research seems to be correlative, not causative (in terms of whether porn causes harm to individuals and/or society). I think it is, like most things, a sign of compounded issues. In the example I gave of the family who disintegrated because the dad was a porn addict, he wouldn't have neglected his family if he wasn't watching porn and that seems causative - but at the same time, he probably felt resentment or had a propensity for addiction that he wasn't self-regulating. Most healthy, well adjusted individuals don't develop addictions, right? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
I do want to mention that I've been suspicious in the past that guys do certain things because they saw it on a porno. So just like, maybe that's a more subtle version of "distinguishing reality from fakery."
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full blown human
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i like cow poo
Nature Lover


Registered: 10/20/09
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Do you have stories? If you do then do tell do tell
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
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Loc: South Florida
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Most healthy, well adjusted individuals don't develop addictions, right? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
No, it's not wishful thinking. Healthy people do not allow themselves to become addicted. They wield (figuratively) Manjushri's 'Sword of Discriminating Wisdom' that cuts at the very root of inordinate attachment. Addiction is slavery, and only the free are truly healthy, which is to say, 'whole,' or further, etymologically - holy. Bt this latter word, I do not mean pious, I mean whole, as in complete to the degree that they are in balance. Balance is not the same as being "well adjusted" either. I am balanced between the functions of Thinking, Feeling, Sensing, and Intuiting. The particular 'warp-n-woof' of my personality is INTP (according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), so, the opposite functions (E,S,F,J), my 'inferior functions,' must be intentionally balanced on a regular basis. I know "well adjusted" (to society) people who are shallow, robotic, and downright boring IMO.
Personally, I much prefer a Bohemian element in friends. I hate to admit it, but the apparently normal 'family guy' usually is so governed by the socio-biological imperatives to work for his family, that he has no time in his life for wonderment beyond marvelling at the birth and growth of his children. His female correlate is often so identified with motherhood, that she becomes invasive in her child's life to the point of the "emotional incest syndrome." Both genders can become hovering "helicopter parents," and/or they can become totally identified with (read, addicted to) their career roles too. I know a wealthy personal injury attorney who boasts that all of his friends are "doctors and lawyers." Suffice to say, we are not friends. On the other hand, Bohemians can be unbalanced in their own ways, but if one looks closely, imbalance is a failed attempt to become balanced, whole. It is the "Twinky® diet," wherein no matter how many you eat, you're gonna die of malnutrition. The same is true of every addiction - they are all self-destructive of freedom, and freedom is Life. I was read this poem way back in grade school. It is classic from 1897, perhaps you know it:
'Richard Cory' - by Edwin Arlington Robinson
Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich – yes, richer than a king – And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine, we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet through his head.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
Edited by MarkostheGnostic (10/02/13 11:35 AM)
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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i was reading that huffpost link...did anyone see the pictures of pornstars before and after makeup at the bottom?
HOLY SHIT...that's all i can say. it's insane to just see how modified the women are from their natural appearances. it's like they airbrush these normal, (some even old and raggedy looking!) women into looking like flawless 10s...
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: resonant111] 3
#18921557 - 10/02/13 02:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I wish porn would give people unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately porn watchers are not turned off by real people else the population would be declining. I often see many hideous, fat women (and men) with a half-dozen kids in tow.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: I wish porn would give people unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately porn watchers are not turned off by real people else the population would be declining. I often see many hideous, fat women (and men) with a half-dozen kids in tow.
If anything porn lowers people's standards, drastically
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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You watching that granny site again?
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Staged, STAGED laugh-now.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: You watching that granny site again?
I've moved down to necrophilia
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mr sniffles
expert textpert


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 1,663
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i watch porn, analyze and reflect on what the woman really feels, how authentic it is, and i only jerk it when it is not more than 30% staged. i like to think porn increased my feelings for empathy in real life as now that i have concentrated so much on these subtle emotions distinguishing between fake and real porn i am quite sensitive to the subtleties in the moods of people around me and build tact with them by reinforcing their comfortableness.
i dont really get hard ons from really fake porns anymore, just an awkward sensation in my throat.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: mr sniffles] 1
#18922978 - 10/02/13 07:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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i think i'm gonna stop watching porn, i'm getting pretty sick of it. it must be really addictive because it's the only habit in my entire life that i've tried to give up, but haven't been able to stop.
i think it's because the porno images get imprinted into your visual memory which makes it hard as fuck to give up. all you gotta do is think of ONE hot porno chick and it triggers the urge to whack off to her scenes.
and unlike alot of addictive habits, porn is FREE and widely accessible. it's just such a cheap rush and so easy to obtain. that's why it's so hard to stop watching once it becomes a habit.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: resonant111] 1
#18922991 - 10/02/13 07:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's like food addiction. You got to eat every day and so must face it every day.
It's hard to keep from feeling sexual when you are young.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
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Loc: IL
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: Icelander]
#18923014 - 10/02/13 07:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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i'm just sick of depending on porn as a primary sexual outlet. it's kind of depressing.
also, looking at those pictures of pornstars without makeup sort of shatters the illusion of it all. these "perfect babes" are just normal women who are air-brushed to look immaculate. there's nothing real about any of it whatsoever.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: resonant111] 2
#18923077 - 10/02/13 07:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well that's not quite true. They are selling the illusion of the ultimate sexual willing partner of course but they are real people having real sex. It's just choreographed to hell. I've had sexual experiences that could make it into some of those vids.
But it is depressing I guess in several ways but what isn't. Having a gf isn't usually a bed of roses either. You can end up really miserable just trying to get laid by a real person. There's some amazing strings attached to real relationships and sometimes that's not fucking worth it imo. So maybe you should count your blessings before you give up on the whole thing.
If you have a good imagination and can visualize well you really don't need much porn. You can create lots of great shit right in your head. But of course the best thing would be to find that lover that you really connect with and are totally attracted to and all. It's just rare imo.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: Icelander]
#18923225 - 10/02/13 08:23 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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relationships > porn, but like you said...not exactly easy to find one that works on all levels.
porn is addictive as shit though and i stand by that.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: resonant111]
#18923253 - 10/02/13 08:29 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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If you're an addictive type. I'm not sure it's true for everyone. I'm an addictive type and get addicted to anything that feels good. Course I'm 60+ now and porn doesn't hold the same interest it used to but then neither does having a gf. More trouble then it's worth ime.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 27 days
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Re: Porn: For Better or Worse [Re: resonant111]
#18923433 - 10/02/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
resonant111 said: i was reading that huffpost link...did anyone see the pictures of pornstars before and after makeup at the bottom?
HOLY SHIT...that's all i can say. it's insane to just see how modified the women are from their natural appearances. it's like they airbrush these normal, (some even old and raggedy looking!) women into looking like flawless 10s...
The myth from one of the apocryphal books of Enoch, was that angelic beings, fallen angels as it were, called The Watchers, taught the 'black arts' which included the use of cosmetics. This, along with other magickal 'enchantments,' and the alchemical arts of metallurgy and hence weapon-making, all contributed to the fall of humankind. I have always been fascinated by make-overs, and my own wife is no exception. Before and after can be mind-blowing. Of course, if I ever posted a before pic anywhere on the net, and my wife ever found out about it, nobody would ever hear from me again.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
Edited by MarkostheGnostic (11/19/13 03:04 PM)
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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I once took a gf on vacation to Florida. Before work she spent 2-3 hours on her hair every day. I thought it would be different while on vacation. WRONG! Just to go to the beach I had to wait half a fucking day for her to get the perfect look.
Fuggetaboutit!
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