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Anonymous #1

can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs
    #18907529 - 09/29/13 03:13 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

i never thought i would be this low - embracing the idea of suicide..
im pushing through but still the idea of suicide has become a light - a way out, so i don't have to face the shame anymore.


moving on, i can't go anywhere and enjoy life if im the center of attention for my physical disabilities. its not that i want sympathy, i just dont want anything. i dont want a group of guys or a group of girls or a group of guys/girls laughing at me and talking shit while looking at me, pointing at me, i hear people talk about me. theres only 1 out of 20 people that won't look at me, n then look twice like there observing a fucking trainwreck, usually someone is with someone n then i actually see them tell the other person to look.

too be point black ,  i dont walk like a confident young man like i used to. i walk more wierd then anyone i know, as if i had a few injuries in my legs.. which i do, but no one else knows thats - n everyday i have to deal with it and it brings me no pleasure.

im a young guy i shouldn't feel like im better off dissapearing.

unfortunately i feel like quitting, and one day i will. i just dont see things getting better  or me getting used to society. i feel already long gone.

if i had a gun i would sit down until i get enough motivation to shoot, it would come i believe.


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18907965 - 09/29/13 05:10 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Do you mind if I ask what's wrong with your legs? Do you walk with a limp, with crutches or on your knees? Fuck what the other people think. Let them giggle amongst their friends, it just goes to show how pathetic THEY are.

Ive always said that its human nature to look, its rude to stare. I'm sorry that you're feeling fed up and wanting to end your life, but c 'mon dude. Don't let these assholes make you feel like this.

Do you have anyone you can talk to?
You can always PM me if you want to talk to a stranger.


--------------------


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #18909883 - 09/30/13 03:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

:thisisheavyman: My feels


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Offlinemoi
Stranger


Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: JesusGoneRogue] * 1
    #18910480 - 09/30/13 09:09 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

until i've seen you walk, chances are you are a schizophrenic paranoid.

hey, i walk weird too, have stupid fucking x-shaped legs. knee hurting regularly. i literally cant walk normal most of the time. no one ever looked at me weird :shrug: .. at least i know the feeling of being a retarded idiot.


anyway, think about batman. he OWNS his shit. he can walk weirdly and still owns.


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Invisibleinfected_2

Registered: 08/09/11
Posts: 844
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: moi]
    #18914694 - 10/01/13 05:45 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

If you have some form of noticeable disability it likely that people will look at you, it's normal to be curious of anything unusual in your surroundings but I doubt they are actually laughing and mocking you.  You'd have to live in a really scummy area for that to be the case.

As someone with no disability I can testify that, yes I will discreetly glance at someone in a crowd moving unusually, it's human instinct I would say.  Once i'm aware it's a disability i'll carry on as normal.


I used to work in a shop and a lady on 2 crutches with a severe leg related disability (couldn't specify) would come in all the time.  I would always help carry her stuff round to the house for her.    Now that im older and work elsewhere I would sometimes see her around town.  I do have a look at her but it's more to check up on her.  If I ever thought she needed help I would offer it even though she prob wouldnt recognise me anymore.

OP - Consider that some people impusively look at things out of the ordinary, most would not want to draw attention to it and some may even just be watching you in a considerate/ sympathetic manner.

Just my 2 cents.  Hang in there


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: infected_2]
    #18915812 - 10/01/13 11:50 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

well fuck man who wants to get looked at in a sympathetic matter its annoying


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OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18916536 - 10/01/13 02:40 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

OP, before you off yourself, ruining some perfectly good apartment and all that, do consider these:

- wheelchair. get one, just for the hell of it. how expensive can one be? buy second hand of course. nobody's going to laugh at a dude in a wheelchair, on the contrary. who's going to know you can actually walk? fuck'em, call it a social experiment. you'll prolly even land more chicks that way than you do now.

- amputation and prosthesis. sounds harsh but if you do the math, pound for pound and year for year, it's WAY better than offing yourself. Then with the prosthesis they have today, you'll walk like a champ, hell you'll prolly be able to compete in the special olympics and outrun some dudes with normal legs. the performance prosthetic legs they have now are insane.

- finally, start saving up and get yourself some of these, they're almost market ready:



--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Spacerific]
    #18916830 - 10/01/13 03:29 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

I wish OP would comment so we know hes ok


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Anonymous #1

Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Spacerific] * 1
    #18916923 - 10/01/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
OP, before you off yourself, ruining some perfectly good apartment and all that, do consider these:

- wheelchair. get one, just for the hell of it. how expensive can one be? buy second hand of course. nobody's going to laugh at a dude in a wheelchair, on the contrary. who's going to know you can actually walk? fuck'em, call it a social experiment. you'll prolly even land more chicks that way than you do now.

- amputation and prosthesis. sounds harsh but if you do the math, pound for pound and year for year, it's WAY better than offing yourself. Then with the prosthesis they have today, you'll walk like a champ, hell you'll prolly be able to compete in the special olympics and outrun some dudes with normal legs. the performance prosthetic legs they have now are insane.

- finally, start saving up and get yourself some of these, they're almost market ready:






what kind of retarded advice is that


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Invisiblelessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18916935 - 10/01/13 03:55 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

all that matters is being yourself, then it doesn't matter what others think of you

happiness is within from being yourself

yourself is all you need to be

stop worrying, relax


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InvisibleI R Crankey
bang bang choo choo
Male

Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 2,005
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: lessismore]
    #18917023 - 10/01/13 04:12 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

stop blaming your leg for your unhappiness.
i'm physically fine and hate life anyway.

i find it's the little things that make me happy
wait what was the point of this thread?
you want attention and people to tell you everythign is alright?
there's already a suicide thread. you should go here

shop for: exit bag


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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18917759 - 10/01/13 06:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
i never thought i would be this low - embracing the idea of suicide..
im pushing through but still the idea of suicide has become a light - a way out, so i don't have to face the shame anymore.


moving on, i can't go anywhere and enjoy life if im the center of attention for my physical disabilities. its not that i want sympathy, i just dont want anything. i dont want a group of guys or a group of girls or a group of guys/girls laughing at me and talking shit while looking at me, pointing at me, i hear people talk about me. theres only 1 out of 20 people that won't look at me, n then look twice like there observing a fucking trainwreck, usually someone is with someone n then i actually see them tell the other person to look.

too be point black ,  i dont walk like a confident young man like i used to. i walk more wierd then anyone i know, as if i had a few injuries in my legs.. which i do, but no one else knows thats - n everyday i have to deal with it and it brings me no pleasure.

im a young guy i shouldn't feel like im better off dissapearing.

unfortunately i feel like quitting, and one day i will. i just dont see things getting better  or me getting used to society. i feel already long gone.

if i had a gun i would sit down until i get enough motivation to shoot, it would come i believe.



you write well.

life is a river, you never know what's around the next bend - why not stay for the ride? :raveface:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Invisibleunknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: JesusIsLord] * 1
    #18918663 - 10/01/13 10:16 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Laugh back at them, louder and longer. Make shit weird

:cheers:


--------------------


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OfflineSpacerific
- - - >
Male

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18918803 - 10/01/13 10:46 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

Spacerific said:
OP, before you off yourself, ruining some perfectly good apartment and all that, do consider these:

- wheelchair. get one, just for the hell of it. how expensive can one be? buy second hand of course. nobody's going to laugh at a dude in a wheelchair, on the contrary. who's going to know you can actually walk? fuck'em, call it a social experiment. you'll prolly even land more chicks that way than you do now.

- amputation and prosthesis. sounds harsh but if you do the math, pound for pound and year for year, it's WAY better than offing yourself. Then with the prosthesis they have today, you'll walk like a champ, hell you'll prolly be able to compete in the special olympics and outrun some dudes with normal legs. the performance prosthetic legs they have now are insane.

- finally, start saving up and get yourself some of these, they're almost market ready:






what kind of retarded advice is that



seriously? :lol:

ok OP, get back to your room and go boo-hoo about yourself some more, begging for sympathy. I thought you were a guy and I offered some actual engineering ideas to try out, you know technical solutions to actually improve your situation. Clearly you think more like a woman, and instead of fixing things you need to hug and talk about it endlessly and have someone hold your hand without actually changing anything really.

what exactly is your genius plan, if mine is so completely retarded?

Quote:

unfortunately i feel like quitting, and one day i will. i just dont see things getting better  or me getting used to society. i feel already long gone.

if i had a gun i would sit down until i get enough motivation to shoot, it would come i believe.




yeah I see how yours works so much better :thumbup:

completely bullshit excuse by the way, that you don't have a gun. if you really wanted to die you have a house full of nooses and electricity, not to mention tall buildings with long long falls upon concrete. not bridges and water, concrete.

more likely you'll keep posting here, have some bullshit attention-seeking "attempts" with pills, wrists and/or bridges, and make me post this vid again:



When you're done feeling sorry for yourself get your ass in gear, have a nice mush trip, travel to get a nice ayahuasca ceremony, mescaline sweat lodge, plenty of things out there that will improve your outlook on life and bullshit paranoid thought patterns in your head.

Mobility scooters. They're not just for fat people. You need a way to get around that doesn't fuck with your mind. You either change the one you're using now, or change the way you process others' reactions to you, or remain in the same shitty place you are now. One thing's for sure, the rest of the world won't magically change overnight, to accommodate your needs and fantasies.

If you walk funny, I'd look and smile as well, as much as the next guy. If I had Tourette's syndrome and spewed profanity next to you while trying to buy my meal, you'd laugh at it just like anybody else would. It's normal human reactions, just because you got too serious about them won't make them go away. Deal with it.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineLeaves
RingingCedar
Male

Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SouthofOz
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: can't go anywhere without stares/fingerpoints/laughs [Re: unknown1123]
    #18918834 - 10/01/13 10:51 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

99% of people are living in a illusion, if you are not in this illusion yourself, you will find the illusory people will outcast you & try to bring you into the bullshit illusion. So be happy that you are different & realize people like you are needed on the Earth :smile:


--------------------


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